“I don't think I can meet your friend!” Hongbin blurted out after handing Taekwoon a board with chopped carrots, stepping back and out of reach as he awaited Taekwoon’s reaction with bated breath.

“Okay.” Taekwoon nodded softly, focusing more on mixing the carrots in with the rest of the stir-fry in the pan than on Hongbin. This was the fourth or fifth time Hongbin changed his mind today, after telling him he was ok with meeting Hakyeon in the morning.

He’d expected it, though. He’d been surprised Hongbin had agreed to meet Hakyeon so quickly, but after that, he’d expected him to change his mind again. And again. And he was sure this wasn't the last time Hongbin would change his mind, either.

Hongbin kept watching Taekwoon closely whenever he told him his new decision, and every time he expected Taekwoon to finally lose his patience with him. But Taekwoon didn't. Taekwoon just accepted it and kept doing what he was doing at the time, without seeming too bothered about it. It confused him, since he’d been so adamant he should meet his friends before, and now…

Anyway, it wasn't like Hongbin absolutely didn't want to meet them, but… he wasn't ready. There were too many what ifs, and too many conditions he would need fulfilled to be able to meet Taekwoon's friends comfortably, and he wasn't able to ask Taekwoon for them now, in the light of day, even if it had sounded so simple to him in his mind the night before.

At night, when he was lying in bed and had lots of time to think things through, everything seemed so much simpler. Then, it was no problem for him to decide to go and ask Taekwoon for something, or about something. During the day, however, when he actually stood in front of Taekwoon, those questions cowered in the furthest corners of his mind, refusing to come out. Even those he had asked several times before, and never gotten a negative answer to, like asking for help with washing his hair. Which, thinking about it, was something he needed to ask Taekwoon again soon, too, since it was well past the point where it still looked passable once again.

Hongbin sighed quietly to himself, going to get some eggs out of the fridge when Taekwoon asked him to. He’d have to talk to Taekwoon eventually, in detail, about how he thought they could make a meeting with his friends work. There wasn’t really a way around that. But for now… For now, he didn’t want to keep thinking about it.

Granted, he’d decided the same thing all the other times he’d changed his mind during the day, but this time he meant it. This time he would focus on something else. Actually, he should ask Taekwoon for help with his hair instead, in the very near future, and distract him, too, that way.

Hongbin felt his stomach lurch as he thought about asking Taekwoon for help with his hair again, but not in an unpleasant way. With how unsettled he felt in general right now, he secretly longed for Taekwoon's reassuring touch. Even if it was while doing something seemingly innocuous like washing his hair.

Still, it took a while for him to build up the courage to ask him, and to find the right moment.

“Can you help me wash my hair?” He eventually mumbled, later that evening, after they were finished eating, so quietly Taekwoon almost didn't catch it.

“What was that?” Taekwoon looked up from stacking their empty plates on top of each other.

“Can you help me wash my hair?” Hongbin repeated, louder, steadier.

“Of course.” Taekwoon nodded, finishing gathering their utensils to carry them to the kitchen. Hongbin stood up to follow him with their used cups.

“With drying and combing it, too?” He added, quietly, as he self-consciously twisted the once-again matted strands between his fingers, watching Taekwoon stack the dishes into the dishwasher

“Absolutely.” Taekwoon confirmed, and Hongbin let out a quiet, relieved breath.

He almost felt like skipping ahead when Taekwoon indicated he was ready to help him now, but forced himself to walk normally instead. He was quick to gather the things they’d need, with Taekwoon gathering the towels. By the time Taekwoon was done, Hongbin was already kneeling expectantly on the stool in front of the sink.

It was still surprising even to himself how little the water on his head bothered him when it was Taekwoon washing his hair. Even on his ears, even though they still twitched whenever Taekwoon touched them; they were sensitive, he couldn't help it. But Taekwoon was so careful to not get water anywhere he didn't want water to get, it helped him relax so much he could have fallen asleep while Taekwoon washed his hair. He even might have. Just a little.

“Hey… Hongbin, I'm done. You can sit up!” Taekwoon chuckled, and Hongbin scrambled to sit up, blinking blearily as his eyes adjusted to being exposed to light again all of a sudden.

“Shall we move to the living room to dry your hair?”

Hongbin nodded, moving stiffly to get off the stool. How had he not noticed his legs going that stiff? He didn't even think about gathering anything as he trudged over to the living room, but it was ok, since Taekwoon did. He only just waited for Taekwoon to sit down on the couch, cross legged, before sitting down in front of him on the floor.

They sat in companionable silence as Taekwoon gently toweled Hongbin’s hair dry. It took a while, but Hongbin didn't mind. He even enjoyed the slightly rougher ruffles, leaning back further and heavier into Taekwoon's touch, who took the chance to massage Hongbin's scalp while he was at it. Hongbin couldn't keep it a secret that he especially liked it when he rubbed the spots behind his ears, a tentative, small purr escaping him.

For a moment, he remembered why he didn't usually accept Taekwoon's help with drying his hair, and tensed up as he waited for Taekwoon's reaction to his purr. Taekwoon stopped toweling his hair for a moment, but just to card his fingers through his drying hair, sorting the strands a little.

“It’s ok, Hongbin. Purr away if you feel like it…” Taekwoon's voice was merely a gentle murmur, almost a purr, too, and Hongbin couldn't stay tense. It took a moment longer before he was relaxed to the point of purring again, but he got there. He didn't stop even when Taekwoon tugged a little harder on some strands while trying to comb his hair, the momentary discomfort not enough to disturb the overall feeling of peacefulness. He barely noticed that he was surrendering the weight of his head into Taekwoon's hands, the human handling his head carefully and gently as he finished untangling his hair, and even indulged in just playing with it as he smoothed the now dry strands down where they belonged. Hongbin was aware Taekwoon was done combing his hair, but he ignored it. He wouldn't have minded if Taekwoon kept playing with his hair forever.

Unfortunately, it couldn't go on forever.

“Hongbin, you have to sit up, please. My legs have fallen asleep.”

It was only then, when Taekwoon tried moving his legs a little, that Hongbin noticed he’d been resting against them for a while now. He scrambled to lean away, giving Taekwoon room to stretch his legs out. He’d thought he was leaning against the couch, not Taekwoon’s crossed legs! That meant…

That meant that his head had been resting not just in Taekwoon’s hands, but also his lap! He felt a little sick at that realization, but hastily tried to calm himself down. It was Taekwoon’s lap, he’d been leaning against Taekwoon, it was ok. He hadn’t been hurt, hadn’t been degraded, hadn’t been forced to anything. In fact, he’d felt good, the way he’d been sitting, had even almost dozed off, and felt safe. There was no use in panicking now when absolutely nothing had happened. That was just silly.

“Hongbin? Are you ok?”

Hongbin shook himself out of his thoughts, focusing on Taekwoon.

“H-huh? Oh, uhm, yes. Yes, just… thinking. Sorry.”

Taekwoon gave him a look that he knew was meant to tell him that he had nothing to apologize for, which in turn made him want to apologize again. He bit that urge back, though, and instead gathered the wet towels and the brush and comb to return to the bathroom. It was the least he could do.

Taekwoon didn’t comment on it, and Hongbin slipped out of the room easily and down the hallway. He hung the towels up to dry methodically, but when he went to put the brush and comb back in their spots, his reflection in the mirror distracted him.

He wasn’t exactly happy with what he got to see. Sure, his hair was clean and no longer matted, and Taekwoon had combed it well into place, but still he wasn’t happy with how it looked. Even clean, it looked messy, unkempt, rough. It didn’t look… presentable. Suddenly, he didn’t want anyone to see him like this. Especially not Taekwoon’s friends. They would be disgusted, put-off, and say Taekwoon deserved better. Which, of course, they would be right about, but that didn’t mean that Hongbin wanted to hear it, or worse, have anyone say it to Taekwoon.

Dejected, he turned his back on the mirror and left the bathroom, but he didn’t feel like joining Taekwoon in the living room again. He merely returned there to inform Taekwoon that he would be retreating to his room, which Taekwoon simply accepted with a nod.

“I’ll be heading to bed soon, too. Good night, Hongbin!” Taekwoon answered with a soft smile, and Hongbin felt even more that Taekwoon deserved better than him.

Once in his room, he found the mirror above his dresser and eyed himself critically once again, tousling his hair, pushing it back, parting it differently… He wasn’t satisfied with any of the options. Maybe if it was shorter… He covered parts of his hair with his hands, but that didn’t really look like how it would most likely look if his hair was indeed shorter at all. Shorter might be a good start, though. Shorter might also be easier to take care of…

He shook his head at himself, turning the lights off and going to lie down on his bed. Shorter hair would require someone cutting it, and that was a whole new obstacle that he absolutely wasn’t sure he wanted to tackle yet.

*#*#*#*

Seeing himself in full daylight in the bathroom mirror after his self-doubt the evening before did a number on Hongbin. He might not have been thinking clearly -actually, he absolutely wasn’t, mind still fuzzy with sleep- or he would possibly have thought about it more than just two seconds before going to get the kitchen scissors to put an end to the mess surrounding his head.

Regret started to set in when he woke up a little more, and found that cutting strands of hair so they were shorter was a whole different thing than getting a short haircut. Especially in the back, it proved to be quite a struggle to get his hair to look even, but even on the sides, which he could see quite well in the mirror, it wouldn’t come together no matter how much he tried.

Maybe, he should have brushed his hair first before trying to cut it nicely, but it was a bit too late for that now. Still, he tried. And tried. And his hair got shorter, but didn’t look better for it. All he managed to accomplish was cut his hair too short to be able to use it to hide his face, or his ears, and it left his neck uncovered, too, now.

His stomach twisted and felt heavy as despair set it as he tried to make it at least look slightly better, and kept failing.

With shaking hands, he eventually set the scissors down. He’d stop now, before he made it any worse. If that was even possible. With his luck, it probably was.

His heart heavy, he swallowed thickly and started cleaning up where his chopped off hair had fallen. It took him a while, but he left the bathroom spotless before returning the scissors to the kitchen.

That was all he did there, not feeling like eating. Especially not alone. He would have appreciated Taekwoon’s company right now, since he’d probably have been able to distract him, or even find a solution for his hair situation.

In hindsight, he should have just asked Taekwoon for help. Taekwoon would most likely have known what to do. He was probably able to cut hair nicely, too.

But now… It was too late, and he wasn’t sure if he even wanted Taekwoon to see him like this. He must look disappointing now.

Without sparing another thought to food, Hongbin turned his back to the kitchen and went to his room, locking the door.

*#*#*#*

When Taekwoon came home late that afternoon, he found the apartment dark and quiet, once again. So Hongbin must be cooped up in his room again, he mused. If sleeping or upset, that remained to be discovered.

After putting his things down and changing into more comfortable clothes, the first thing Taekwoon checked was the fridge. Untouched breakfast and untouched lunch made him frown, but he checked the snack cabinet and fruit bowls first before allowing his frown to settle. Finding them untouched, too, however, pointed strongly towards upset Hongbin rather than sleeping Hongbin, which made him worry and led him to seek the other out.

“Hongbin? I’m home. Everything ok?” He called, after knocking on the boy’s door.

For a moment, it was quiet behind Hongbin’s door, but then he answered.

“I’m fine!”

Taekwoon rolled his eyes. Of course he’d answer that, what had he expected.

“Are you sure? Have you eaten anything today, at all?”

The silence that followed this time was slightly longer.

“I haven’t… I’m not hungry. But I’m fine.”

Taekwoon sighed, letting his head thump against the arm he’d braced against the frame of Hongbin’s door.

“We’ve been through this before, Hongbin…”

“I’ll eat later! I just haven’t been hungry!”

Taekwoon hesitated a moment, but then pushed himself off of the doorframe.

“Ok. I’ll take your word for it. And maybe you can tell me what’s wrong later, too.”

Hongbin wanted to protest that nothing was wrong from the other side of the door, but the words were lodged in his throat, refusing to come out. Everything was wrong, after all. And he was determined to stay in this room and out of Taekwoon’s sight until all that was wrong had grown out. He could always go out to eat when Taekwoon was sleeping or at work; he could make it work.

His grumbling stomach protested that no, he couldn’t. If that plan had been supposed to work, then he should have started on it earlier. Before Taekwoon had gotten home.

Hongbin was stubborn, though, even with himself. Especially with himself. And so, he sat back down on his bed, and waited. As he had all day, except when he had gotten up to check in the mirror if his hair had grown out again at least a little; even just the tiniest bit.

Sometimes, he was convinced it had. Sometimes, he almost managed to convince himself that his hair didn’t look that bad. Passable, almost. But other times, it just looked more and more hideous than he first thought, the longer he looked, and his determination to stay in this room until that was no longer the case was cemented further.

In the meantime, Taekwoon wondered what could have happened to upset Hongbin to the point he was hiding in his room again. He was convinced something must have happened, since that was what had always been the case so far when he went to hide in his room. There were probably clues somewhere in the apartment, he just had to find them.

The most likely place to find clues so far had always been the kitchen, but this time he couldn’t find anything. The next would be the living room, but he drew a blank there, too. There was nothing in the hallway, and he doubted Hongbin had ventured into his bedroom or office rooms. They looked untouched, too.

He was about ready to give up for now, deciding on a bathroom break, when he found that something was odd about the bathroom. He couldn’t point his finger to it, since nothing was out of place, nothing was missing, nothing was dirty or wet…

Maybe that was what clued him in. The bathroom was almost too clean. Cleaner at least than when he’d left this morning. Which, in theory, wasn’t too strange, since Hongbin did a lot of the cleaning around the house these days, including the bathroom. But, only the bathroom? And without having eaten first?

Maybe he’d broken something first thing in the morning and that had ruined his whole day, but Taekwoon was pretty convinced that they had been past these kinds of reactions in those situations. Still, it was a possibility, especially if Hongbin thought whatever he’d broken was important enough for Taekwoon to be upset about…

The first place to check for anything broken would be the trash cans, and since he was already here, the one in the bathroom was the first Taekwoon checked. As soon as he did, the real problem became apparent immediately to Taekwoon. No, not something broken. Something cut.

Taekwoon sighed fondly.

“Oh, Hongbin…” He shook his head slowly, sliding the trash can back into its place. He still didn’t know why this would upset Hongbin, but at least it was a clue. The sooner he found out the exact reason why Hongbin was upset, the better, though, but he would only find out if he could manage to make Hongbin come out of his room, so that was where he returned to, knocking once more.

“Hongbin? Want to come help me make dinner?” He tried innocently, and didn’t get an answer at first. He’d been learning to be patient, though.

“I’m still not hungry…” Hongbin’s answer came, unconvincing as it had the quality of a pouty whine.

Taekwoon sighed deeply.

“Hongbin… I know your determination to stay holed up in your room has nothing to do with you not being hungry. In fact, I know you must be hungry since you haven’t eaten all day. And I can assure you, nothing I can think of warrants you starving yourself like this.”

Hongbin worried his lip until it was almost bleeding on the other side of the door, standing indecisive in the middle of his room. Of course, he shouldn’t have expected Taekwoon to just leave him be without a reason, but could he even tell Taekwoon his reason to lock himself in? That would defeat the purpose of hiding from him in the first place, though. No, he didn’t want Taekwoon to know.

Taekwoon’s voice floated through the door again, gentler this time, even if it hadn’t been un-gentle in the first place.

“This has to do with your hair, doesn’t it? Something that happened while you cut it?”

Hongbin gasped quietly, holding his breath while his eyes went wide. How did Taekwoon know he’d cut his hair? He’d cleaned up everything! And how could he guess that it was the reason he was hiding?! His heart beat uncomfortably hard in his chest, reminding him to release his breath and keep breathing.

“But I cleaned everything…!” The words were out of his mouth with his breath before he could stop them, and of course Taekwoon heard him.

“You did. Which is why I’m at a loss of why you would lock yourself in. Are you scared I’ll be mad at you for cutting your own hair?”

That thought hadn’t even occurred to Hongbin. Would Taekwoon be mad at him?

“If that’s it, I promise you I’m not mad. Your hair is part of your body and no one but you has a right to make any decisions about it, so it’s not my business, and I have no reason to be mad.”

Sometimes the way Taekwoon would answer to his unspoken questions was somewhat eerie, Hongbin found. Before he was finished with that thought, Taekwoon already continued speaking, though.

“Since there is no reason for me to be mad at you, I don’t see why there would be a reason for you to hide, Hongbin. And as long as you don’t tell me what is wrong, I can’t help you find a way to fix it.”

“There is no way to fix it…” Hongbin found himself answering, dejected. Had he stopped a moment to think about it, he would have realized that was not something Taekwoon would accept as an answer.

“You might not see a way to fix it, Hongbin, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t a way, and you can’t know if I won’t find it until you let me know what needs to be fixed.”

Unless Taekwoon knew how to glue hair back on, or turn back time, or undo bad decisions, or something of the sorts, there was no way to fix it, he was sure of it. He wanted to tell him that, but the words lodged in his throat. How could he tell him that? It sounded ridiculous, even to himself. He felt ridiculous, too.

It didn’t help that his stomach was cramping with hunger, and the thought that he would have to avoid Taekwoon for possibly months until his hair had grown out made his chest constrict and his eyes burn with unshed tears. He didn’t want to be confined to the same small space for what would no doubt quickly feel like endless time. It had happened too many times before for him not to dread it. He also didn’t want to avoid Taekwoon like that. Taekwoon might lose his patience if he tried it, too, and he couldn’t even fault him for it.

He just wanted an out of this whole mess, and the longer Taekwoon kept prodding him, the more he wanted to tell him, but he couldn’t get the words out. His room started to feel too small and he wanted to get out of it, too. Before he knew what he was doing, though, he was already at the door, unlocking it. He didn’t open it, his mind catching up with what he was doing just in time, heart beating frantically again. If he opened that door, there would be no way back. Taekwoon would know, and see how horrible he looked. But he would also be free. And Taekwoon might, just might, actually have a solution for his dilemma.

“Please, Hongbin?” Taekwoon asked softly from the other side of the wooden panel, obviously having heard him unlock the door.

It was the final push he needed to open the door, even if it wasn’t far. Just enough to look outside, and for Taekwoon to see him.

He didn’t meet Taekwoon’s gaze, but he still watched his expression closely, steeling himself for the looks of repulsion, shock, or just plain mocking. Instead, Taekwoon’s expression remained slightly confused, slowly being taken over by a small smile as he reached out towards him. His movements were slow, and Hongbin could have avoided his touch had he wanted to, but he didn’t move as Taekwoon brushed some of his hair out of his forehead.

“Cute…” Taekwoon mumbled, and Hongbin’s eyes widened in incredulity.

Taekwoon nodded approvingly, just once.

“Short hair suits you.”

Hongbin couldn’t help but gape at him, shaking his head.

“But… It looks horrible!”

Taekwoon huffed softly.

“No, it doesn’t! It’s just different.”

Hongbin shook his head again.

“It’s too short. And choppy. Uneven everywhere. It looks like… Like…” He couldn’t even think of an accurate comparison.

Taekwoon shrugged.

“I think it looks good.”

“It doesn’t!”

Taekwoon startled a little at Hongbin’s outburst.

“Ok… What do you want to do about it, then?”

Hongbin was taken aback at the sudden question.

“W-what?”

Taekwoon tilted his head curiously, rephrasing.

“What would you want to change about how it looks right now for you to like it?”

Hongbin deflated a little.

“I want it to be like it was before…”

Taekwoon hummed, thoughtfully.

“Did you like how it looked before?”

Hongbin shifted uncomfortably in his spot. Of course he didn’t, or else he wouldn’t have cut it in the first place.

“What did you want to change about it before?”

“I… I just… I wanted it to be less messy. It looked… too wild. And was too long…”

Taekwoon nodded pensively.

“Ok. And now it’s too short?”

Hongbin sighed.

“It’s still too messy…”

“So, the messiness is worse than the shortness?”

Hongbin nodded slowly, not quite understanding where Taekwoon wanted to get with all this.

“Would you be ok with cutting a little more to make it look less messy?”

Hongbin tensed a little.

“I already tried, but I can’t… It only looks worse if I keep trying.”

Taekwoon nodded slowly.

“I get that… I know it’s very hard to cut your own hair, which is why most people ask others to cut it for them. Would you let me cut yours? With proper hair scissors, instead of the kitchen scissors?”

Hongbin looked indecisive, shifting in his spot again and curling his hands into the hem of his sweater, while the tip of his tail swished anxiously.

“Can you do that?”

Taekwoon nodded.

“Yes. I used to cut Hakyeon’s hair when we were still in college and broke all the time. He made sure I learned to do it right.”

Hongbin didn’t look convinced.

“You don’t have to let me, Hongbin. It’s fine if you don’t. And I promise you, your hair really doesn’t look as bad as you make it out to be.”

Hongbin grimaced, his hands stretching his sweater close to tearing as they twisted in the hem.

“But… It is bad. I can’t… can’t go outside like this. Or meet your friends! They’ll think badly of me…”

Now that was something Taekwoon had absolutely not expected.

“W-what…? No. No, they won’t. They won’t judge you based on your haircut, Hongbin! They’re not that superficial.”

Hongbin averted his gaze.

“I don’t want them to see me like this, though…” He whispered quietly, swallowing thickly.

“That’s a different matter. Valid, though, of course. If you want me to help you, I’ll get the hair cutting kit and do my best to make your hair look as good as possible.”

Could he really say no to that? He couldn’t, not if he didn’t want to look like a ratty old broom for the next few months.

“Ok…”

Taekwoon smiled gently at him.

“First, you eat something, though, ok? Can’t have you sitting around starving any longer.”

Hongbin grimaced, but trotted ahead towards the kitchen once Taekwoon stepped out of the way.

Dinner consisted of heated up leftovers for both of them, since that was the fastest option. Despite Hongbin’s voracious hunger, caused by going the whole day without eating, Taekwoon finished before him.

“I’ll go get the kit real quick, ok?”

Hongbin blinked a little confusedly, not understanding what the hurry was all of a sudden, but nodded anyway. Only when Taekwoon peeked back into the living room, wearing a jacket and beanie, to tell him he’d be back in about half an hour, did Hongbin understand that he meant from somewhere else entirely, and not just another room. He didn’t have time to voice any thoughts he might have had, though, since Taekwoon was out of the door in the next instant.

He didn’t know what he should think of that, so he just didn’t. He wasn’t sure if it was important that Taekwoon went somewhere else to get the kit, so he decided not to worry about it for now and just finished his food, clearing their plates and utensils away afterwards and tidying the kitchen up a little as he waited. He started to feel somewhat restless once he no longer had anything to do, and went to sit on the living room windowsill to look outside until Taekwoon returned.

It really only took half an hour until Taekwoon’s car pulled up in the parking lot in front of the building again, and Hongbin hopped off the windowsill to wander to the hallway to wait for Taekwoon there. As soon as Taekwoon came in, Hongbin could tell by the scent lingering on him where he’d gotten the hair cutting kit from.

His eyes widened and his jaw dropped, dread washing over him in a powerful wave.

“Did- did you tell- does Hakyeon know-…?!” He stuttered, but Taekwoon shook his head calmly as he took his shoes off.

“I didn’t tell him anything. I just said I needed the hair kit and he gave it to me.”

Hongbin gave him a doubtful look, and Taekwoon sighed.

“I promise, Hongbin. For all Hakyeon knows I could be needing the kit to dye Jaehwan’s hair or something similar. He won’t think anything of it. And even if he suspects that I might be cutting your hair now, there’s nothing to it. We all get haircuts every now and then.”

Hongbin supposed that made sense, calming down a little. It wasn’t like Taekwoon had taken pictures of him and showed them around. No one but Taekwoon had seen him with the mess that currently resided on his head so far.

“Shall we?” Taekwoon eventually asked, having gotten out of his outside gear, and Hongbin’s stomach dropped a little. He nodded, but didn’t move from where he was standing, unsure where to go. As always, Taekwoon sensed his insecurity.

“I’d say we do it in the bathroom. It’s easier to clean than the carpets in the living room.”

That, too, made sense, and Hongbin turned to lead the way to the bathroom, Taekwoon following a couple of steps behind him.

“Just pull the stool out in front of the mirror and sit down. I’ll get the rest.”

Hongbin did as told, his heart starting to race as he sat down and watched Taekwoon take a variety of things out of the bag he’d gotten from Hakyeon. He flinched when Taekwoon took out some sort of plastic garb, shaking it out in front of him.

Taekwoon stopped his movements when he saw Hongbin flinching, lowering the garb.

“I can put this away if you don’t like it, we don’t have to use it. It’s meant to go over your shoulders and catch all the little bits of hair when I cut them so they don’t get stuck in your clothes and don’t prick through them and make you itchy, but we can always leave it be and you can just go change into something else when we’re done.”

Hongbin thought about it, but shook his head.

“It’s ok. I was just surprised…”

Taekwoon smiled in acknowledgement.

“Can I put it on you?”

Hongbin nodded, and Taekwoon fixed the garb around him. Immediately, Hongbin fidgeted to get his hands to stick out from under the edge, really not liking how they were trapped underneath it. Taekwoon let him, not commenting on it. Still, he couldn’t help but notice how fidgety Hongbin was, especially now that his hands were almost highlighted on display.

Calmly, he set the scissors and combs down on the counter and turned to face Hongbin, a good few steps away from him to avoid making him feel crowded.

“Hongbin…”

Hongbin focused on him, his gaze landing somewhere on Taekwoon’s chest, still avoiding his own gaze.

“You’re nervous, something is bothering you. What is it?”

Hongbin swallowed thickly. He wanted to say nothing, everything was fine, but what was the point in saying that when Taekwoon had already clearly seen that that wasn’t the case?

He took a deep breath, his fingernails plucking hard on the cuticles of his other hand.

“It’s… scissors.”

Taekwoon didn’t understand, and Hongbin could tell he didn’t.

“They… Just… Too close. I don’t… don’t like them. Not that close to my head.”

Taekwoon nodded slowly.

“Ok… So-?”

“It’s ok, though.” Hongbin interrupted. “It… It has to be done.”

Taekwoon wanted to frown at that, but tried to maintain a neutral expression.

“It doesn’t have to be done, Hongbin. We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.”

Hongbin shook his head vehemently, though.

“No, it does. I can’t… It’s too messy. It can’t stay like this.”

Taekwoon sighed. Hongbin was stubborn, especially with himself, he had to give him that.

“Ok. If you’re sure… Shall I start, then?”

Hongbin nodded, once, curtly, and Taekwoon made his way over. He sat rigidly as Taekwoon inspected the cuts he’d made all over, seemingly coming to a decision. He appreciated Taekwoon warning him before he started cutting his hair, but he really just wished for it to be over. The snipping noises so close to his ears made him want to hide his head in his arms, but he forced himself to sit still, his eyes clenched tightly shut. His ears were another matter, though, he couldn’t keep those still no matter how hard he tried, and his whole body started to tremble as the snipping noises got closer to his ears. And then, Taekwoon stopped.

“Are you ok? Should we take a break?” He asked softly, and Hongbin finally realized that he’d started curling in on himself. He sat up straight again, shaking his head determinedly, but Taekwoon wasn’t stupid.

“Hongbin, I promise you I won’t cut you, or hurt you in any way. And we can take all the breaks you want. It’s alright. You don’t need to force yourself to endure this any longer than you can stand.”

Hongbin took a deep shuddering breath.

“It’s ok… It’s ok. I’m ok. You can… keep going.”

Taekwoon frowned, but did as Hongbin asked him to.

Hongbin wasn’t as ok as he told Taekwoon he was, of course not. If Taekwoon looked closer, he’d be able to see all the scars on his ears, and he’d figure why he wasn’t ok. Speaking of, Hongbin almost jumped out of his skin when Taekwoon touched his left ear all of a sudden, before realizing it was just his hand, not the scissors.

“I’m sorry. I should have warned you. I’m going to shield your ears so I can’t touch them with the scissors, ok?” Taekwoon apologized, and Hongbin breathed a sigh of relief. Of course, Taekwoon would do that. He should never have expected anything else. And if his ear turned to mold against the inside of Taekwoon’s hand, it was purely accidental. The way he relaxed after that was just a coincidence, too.

And then Taekwoon halted once again, ruffling his hair slightly, then combing it into place, and stepped back.

“It’s pretty even everywhere but in the front now. Now, how would you like it there? Bangs? Short? Parted? Out of your face or in your face?”

Hongbin blinked, seeing his reflection in the mirror for the first time since they’d started. At first, it looked like nothing had changed about his hair, before he realized it was just the part hanging into his forehead that hadn’t changed, and the rest had indeed changed and looked near perfect now. Better than anything he could have imagined.

He really didn’t know how he should want his hair to look in the front, though, and he shrugged undecidedly.

“I don’t know… What would be best?”

Taekwoon hummed pensively, studying Hongbin’s reflection.

“Something you can change up depending on how you feel, maybe?”

Hongbin didn’t really understand, and Taekwoon stood behind him, so he could see his reflection in the mirror, too.

“See, something like this, but maybe a bit shorter.” He explained, ruffling his own hair to fall into his forehead.

“Mine is a bit long now, but if we cut yours a bit shorter, you can wear it like this…” He combed his bangs down over his eyes. “Or like this…” He pushed it to one side, half sweeping out of his forehead. “Or like this.” He made a middle part, and Hongbin bit his lips to not betray his amusement over how it looked in that moment, so unlike what he was used to Taekwoon looking. Taekwoon seemed to notice anyway, and smiled back at Hongbin in the mirror, ruffling his hair so it fell back how he usually wore it.

“What do you say?”

Hongbin merely nodded after only a moment’s hesitation, and Taekwoon picked up comb and scissors again. His nose crinkled when some longer hairs he’d missed earlier brushed over it, and Taekwoon laughed softly.

Hongbin liked that sound. When Taekwoon laughed, it made him feel warm inside, and it felt nice to hear it. His ears always twitched pleasantly when he heard it, too.

Out of Hongbin’s view, Taekwoon bit his lip to keep himself from cooing. He could see all the little reactions to sounds in the twitches of Hongbin’s ears now, and it looked adorable. He would have to get used to reading Hongbin’s reactions all over again, now that his ears were no longer hidden, and also learn not to melt inside every time he saw it. Damn it, he had to get a grip on himself!

“Hold still and close your eyes, I’ll get those strands in a second.” He informed Hongbin, both to let him know and also to get himself back on track.

Hongbin didn’t even think twice before heeding Taekwoon’s command, but he did hold his breath when the hairs fell down onto his face after Taekwoon had cut them. It became increasingly harder after a few moments, and Taekwoon stepped back to let him brush them out of his face.

“Do you want a towel to cover your face so you can breathe?”

Hongbin hesitated, which Taekwoon had learned to accept as a positive answer more often than not, and handed him a small towel to cover the lower half of his face. He accepted it gratefully, and Taekwoon continued shaping his hair into something resembling a proper haircut. Since he was standing in front of Hongbin now, though, he couldn’t follow what he was doing in the mirror anymore, and had to wait until he was done to catch a glimpse.

When Taekwoon eventually brushed his hair into place, fluffing it up and laying it how it was supposed to lie, Hongbin could barely await to see it.

And then Taekwoon stepped aside and Hongbin’s eyes widened comically as he stared at his reflection, turning his head left and right to catch it all.

His hair was pretty damn short now, compared to before, no longer falling into his eyes or covering his ears, and far from reaching his neck. It should make him feel exposed, and in a way, it did, but he found he didn’t really mind. It looked great, though. It made him look… not wild anymore. And… older? More serious? He didn’t know what to call it.

“Do you like it?” Taekwoon asked, and all Hongbin could do was nod quietly, not tearing his eyes away from his reflection in the mirror just yet.

Taekwoon smiled, satisfied.

“Ok. Can I take the garb from you?”

It took a second for Taekwoon’s question to register with Hongbin, and he nodded, sitting back to allow Taekwoon to take the garb off. Once he’d done that, and his hands were free of it, he felt the need to touch his hair, since now it suddenly looked soft, and he needed to know if it really was as soft as it looked. It turned out it was, and once he’d touched it once, he couldn’t stop touching it. Especially the very short bits in the back, at the base of his head. They felt funny. And so did his bangs.

He completely forgot about Taekwoon, who was bustling behind him, sweeping the bits of hair on the floor up and cleaning around him while he experimented with pushing his hair out of his face like Taekwoon had done earlier, and back down, and doing a middle part, and pushing it back. He loved it, and he was so grateful Taekwoon had done this for him. He could never have done that himself, and he absolutely needed to tell Taekwoon that.

When he looked behind himself, Taekwoon was already on his way out of the room, and Hongbin had to call out for him.

“Taekwoon!”

Taekwoon stopped, turning around again, still with that soft smile, and tilted his head questioningly. Hongbin exhaled shakily.

“Thank you.”

Taekwoon nodded once.

“No problem.”

“It’s perfect. I… Thank you.”

Taekwoon chuckled.

“Thank you, too. I’m glad you like it.”

Hongbin could only nod, before turning back to the mirror, and Taekwoon left the room to leave him to it. He shook his head experimentally, and for the first time in ages it felt light, and free. Foreign, but good. He liked the way his hair fell, too. It made him look like a whole new person, and it made him feel good.

He got up, finally pushing the stool back into its corner, and left the bathroom to find Taekwoon again. Of course, he was in the living room, sitting on the couch, and Hongbin went to sit in his usual spot on the pillows next to it.

The little heap of pillows had grown consistently lately, and Hongbin wondered briefly if it wasn’t almost like sitting on a couch yet, with how many pillows Taekwoon had coaxed him into accepting. They were comfortable, though, very comfortable, and he couldn’t really bring himself to resent them as he sank into the heap. It felt almost like a nest… Or at least, what he imagined a nest would feel like.

Taekwoon watched him quietly as he got comfortable, and Hongbin acknowledged it once he was settled down.

“Are you happier now?”

Hongbin hummed in answer, nodding at the same time.

“I’m glad… Next time when something like this happens, will you let me know from the start?”

Hongbin bit his lips, deciding that was a bad decision, since they still hurt from the abuse he’d put them through throughout the day, and stopped. He nodded softly in answer to Taekwoon’s question, though. There was no point hiding from Taekwoon, after all. Especially not when he would most likely know how to fix his problems. And would get him to come out to tell him what was wrong, anyway.

Like, seriously, how did he always manage to do that? It was really just a waste of effort to try to avoid Taekwoon at this point. Or to struggle against what Taekwoon wanted, to be honest. He was starting to get convinced that Taekwoon would always be right in the end, anyways. And he always looked out for Hongbin, too, in ways Hongbin wouldn’t even think about or think possible. He should just trust him, and save himself the struggle to try to go against him. It would all turn out to be ok in the end, as long as Taekwoon was with him; he was sure of it.

That reminded him there was still something he owed Taekwoon an answer to. Or, well, he had given Taekwoon an answer, and he’d accepted it, but… It wasn’t the answer Taekwoon needed to hear, not what needed to happen.

He was nervous, yes, and not at all sure of himself, but he did pull himself together, taking a deep breath and sitting up a little straighter.

“Taekwoon?” He started quietly.

Taekwoon looked up from the magazine he’d started paging and hummed questioningly, a sign that he was listening. Hongbin took another deep breath.

“I-… I think I’m ok with meeting your friends…”

Taekwoon lowered the magazine in his hands, nodding.

“Ok…” It sounded a little like a question, and rightly so, since Hongbin had sounded a lot as if that wasn’t all he wanted to say on that matter. And it wasn’t, but he wasn’t exactly sure how to voice that he needed some conditions fulfilled if he were to meet Taekwoon’s friends. In the end, he just blurted out whatever was first on his mind.

“But… But just Hakyeon. For now.”

Taekwoon nodded, finding that a reasonable request, since he was the one Hongbin knew most about so far.

“Ok, sure.”

Hongbin exhaled slowly, Taekwoon’s easy acceptance encouraging him to continue.

“And… and you’ll be there?”

“Of course. I wouldn’t leave you alone with someone you don’t know yet.”

That was reassuring. Still, not reassuring enough to help him voice his next request, which just so happened to be the one he needed fulfilled the most to be able to ever sleep again at night. Taekwoon picked up on his struggle, gently encouraging him.

“That’s not all, is it? What else are you thinking about?”

Hongbin swallowed thickly.

“He… he won’t touch me, will he?”

Taekwoon shook his head decidedly.

“No. Not if you don’t want him to.”

“Promise?” Hongbin just had to be sure.

“Promise. I’ll make sure of it.”

“And he won’t come into my room, either?”

“Absolutely not. It’s yours and only you decide who gets to go in.”

Hongbin nodded slowly, deciding these were all good reassurances, but he still wasn’t done.

“Can I… can I leave, if it’s… if it becomes too much?”

Taekwoon nodded vigorously.

“Of course. I won’t force you to endure any situation you aren’t comfortable with.”

Honestly, it sounded too good to be true. All of it. So good that it started to raise suspicions in Hongbin.

“I’m… Is it really… All of this, it’s a lot, and… It’s really ok?”

Taekwoon nodded decidedly.

“It is. I don’t want you to meet my friends as a form of punishment or anything, so I most certainly don’t want you to feel threatened by them. I’ll do everything possible to make you feel as comfortable and safe as possible when you meet them, and if what you asked is what you need to feel comfortable and safe, then that is what I’m going to ensure happens.”

It felt like a weight was slowly slipping off Hongbin’s chest.

“Really? So, I’m not asking too much?”

Taekwoon shook his head.

“Not at all. In fact, I’m finding you are asking for very little. So, if there is anything else, let me know.”

There wasn’t really anything else Hongbin found reasonable enough to ask for that he could think of in that moment. However, there was something else he was starting to worry about.

“Hakyeon… Won’t he be mad that I’m asking so much, either?”

Taekwoon looked confused by that question.

“No, I don’t think so… Why should he?”

Hongbin shrugged, wringing his hands in his lap.

“Because I don’t think I can be close to him for long… And can’t touch him… And am asking for a lot of conditions…”

Taekwoon shook his head, decidedly this time.

“No. Hakyeon will understand. You know, he knows a lot of people like you, lots of which he’s friends with, and even more that he works closely with daily. He’s a very social person, and very good at reading people and adapting to what they need. He most definitely won’t be mad at you for asking for some space when meeting him.”

Hongbin mulled about that for a while, then another worry surfaced.

“And… he won’t get jealous and get mad at either of us?”

Taekwoon frowned.

“Why would he get jealous?”

Hongbin sighed deeply, focusing his gaze on his hands instead of near Taekwoon when he explained.

“Because… He is your best friend, and you usually spend a lot of time with him, but now… You spend a lot of time with me or at home instead, and not with him…”

Taekwoon hummed in understanding, but shook his head.

“I’m sure he won’t be jealous, and won’t get mad at either of us, Hongbin. You know, Hakyeon loves me, and he knows I love him back. But he also knows that my love is not exclusive, nor is his own. He spends a lot of his time with a lot of people, giving them a lot of his love, too, and he won’t find a reason to be jealous when I do the same.”

Hongbin’s heart faltered a little at Taekwoon’s words, but he nodded in acceptance. In that moment, he regretted no longer having his long hair to hide his face behind, so lowering his head as far as physically possible without falling to the floor would have to do for now. At least, Taekwoon’s words had been able to take most of his fears about meeting any of his friends, and Hakyeon in particular, away.

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A/N: Hello again! Sorry for the long wait, I've been a lazy slob on vacation (and I'm not sorry for that last part!). I didn't manage to write as much as I thought I'd be able to while gone, and what I wrote is once again a bit of a filler chapter. I wanted the Exciting Stuff^TM to happen in this chapter but it was getting too long, so I split the chapter and said Exciting Stuff^TM is now going to happen in the next chapter. Promise! Also hope I can promise that next chapter won't take as long to write again as I'm now going to be slipping into my usual routine again; I think.

Anyway, thank you for your patience and for the continuous support (which I'm just going to assume is there if you've reached this point of the chapter, since I doubt anyone skips the whole chapter to read the A/N first). Other forms of support besides reading that I much appreciate are upvotes, subscriptions and (and those make me really, realy happy!): comments! Let me know what you think will happen once Hongbin finally meets Hakyeon! How do you think he'll react to Hakyeon? And, not less important, how do you think Hakyeon will react to Hongbin? Let me knooow, please talk to me! <3

Also, (this feels a bit weird to say after I've just told you I've been on vacation, but fact is that that ate up all my savings from the past 7 months *sob* and a person gotta eat), if you want to support me in a more materialistic way, you can flick me a tip over here. Love ya! <3