Surrender.
Waking up without you.
Three days, twelve hours, and twenty-seven minutes. Jonghyun only had that long 'til he and Kibum were to return to Seoul as idol and model, respectively. He only had that much time left and yet, he had not popped the question to the y creature he liked to call his boyfriend. But when Grandmother Kim prohibited him to advance with his plans, he felt lost. Wasn't she the one who initiated this all? Wasn't she the one who gave him that shame-showering talk? Wasn't she the one who handed him that black velvet box?
"I might have given you the go signal but that doesn't mean you have to do it now. You're not ready, Jonghyun."
Grandmother Kim's words haunted him and he hated it. He hated that he had no clue of what she meant, of what she wanted to convey when she proclaimed of his 'un-readiness'. He loved Kibum, didn't he? He loved him to no end. Was that not enough? Was there another requirement to marry other than being in love and having the fortune to bend the expenses?
Maybe that was it.
But he was more than capable, was he not? His singing career earned him more than he could handle. The bags under his eyes, the muscle pains, the diets, the sore throat - they weren't all for nothing. The company, despite him being overworked, filled his bank account with digits he could barely count with his mind.
Or maybe that wasn't it. Maybe it was something else.
Something he feared to even think about; feared to lose.
Fame, he deduced. After all he had gone through during his trainee years to reach where he was now... was he ready to surrender it all when the time came? Was he ready to let it go for Kibum when the fans petitioned to remove him from the music industry?
There was a very high possibility that he wasn't ready yet. And Grandmother Kim saw through him. The wise, old lady did make it clear that Kibum was to receive everything at its best, and that included Jonghyun's heart. Yes, he loved the model and was more than able to fend for the two of them.
But if the time came that he had to choose between Kibum or his dream, was he willing to give up the latter? Maybe, the word flashed in his head as fast as the question came. He hated it, he hated the doubt in him. He never wanted to lose Kibum again, but he didn't want to throw away everything he worked hard for either.
So maybe he wasn't ready. But he would be, in time.
Jonghyun awoke to a voice he swore could lull him to sleep every time he heard it, but this time was different. Kibum's usually low and husky voice was far from calm. Jonghyun sat up from the comfortable mattress, rubbing sleep off his eyes. He wasn't sure if he heard right but he knew Kibum when the younger so much as utter a syllable. The second time he heard a whimpering voice, he knew it was Kibum in pain. Terrified, Jonghyun peeled the covers off him and bolted out of the room.
He barely managed to run down the staircase when Grandmother Kim passed by him, her clothes painted with patches of soil.
"Halmeoni! What happened? Where's Kibum?" Jonghyun asked on impulse.
The elderly stopped in her tracks as Jonghyun made his presence known. She turned to face Jonghyun while tugging at the muddy rubber gloves she had on to remove it. "You brat! You dare sleep in at a time like this! Aigoo~ Kibum tripped on a rock while we were gardening. His knees were scraped and some on the elbows, too. Omo! Stop distracting me, you brat, I need to get the first-aid kit!"
"Wait, halmeoni! Where is he?" Jonghyun mouthed before the old woman could turn her back on him.
"I just said we were gardening, where do you think he'd be at? He could barely walk, so I let him sit on the swing. Seriously, you brat, make yourself useful and carry him in-"
"I'm on it, halmeoni!" Jonghyun cut in and sprinted out of the house, not minding the punishment that awaited him for cutting Grandmother Kim's mid-sentence.
What Jonghyun arrived to almost made him punch himself for sleeping in. His little model was sitting uncomfortably on the two-seater, white-painted wooden swing, knees bent up to his chin so that he could ease the pain of the scrapes by blowing on them. Kibum was wincing as his breath brushed against the wound, his nose scrunching up in an almost adorable way if not for the fact that he was hurting. The older boy's movements caused Kibum to look up and Jonghyun wondered how the model managed to look beautiful and breathtaking even at times like this.
Kibum smiled, face painted with patches of dirt. "Hi."
Jonghyun could only groan in response because Kibum was just perfect in so many ways. He attacked the younger's button-like nose with his lips, pretending to bite the tip and growling like the dinosaur he was. Kibum giggled, his scrapes forgotten for a second and that was all Jonghyun needed - a diversion to stop Kibum from frowning. With strong arms, he carried Kibum as if he was the most fragile piece of diamond ever to have existed on earth. His steps were taken delicately because his pretty little model had his slim arms around his neck and Jonghyun felt like he would die if another puny scratch landed on Kibum's skin.
They walked past the living room with Jonghyun speaking over his shoulder to inform Grandmother Kim that he would be 'taking Kibum upstairs for safety purposes'. He started chanting thank you's in his head directed to no one in particular when he stood in front of the younger's room and saw that the door was left ajar even at its slightest. His foot pushed the door open and he let himself in, Kibum still safely tucked in his arms. To anybody else, the matter may seem small and utterly laughable, but not to Kim Jonghyun; not to him whose boyfriend was a model with a skin that should be valued more than anything else.
And so he put Kibum down on the bed, just in time for Grandmother Kim's entrance. It was amazing how the old lady all but shoved Jonghyun to the side as she placed the first-aid kit beside Kibum on the bed and opened it to reveal all sorts antiseptics and colorful band-aids and soft cotton balls and just everything a nurse would own. Oh, right, Jonghyun dumbly thought, Kibum's mother was a nurse.
Grandmother Kim sat by his grandson, a basin with lukewarm water and a face towel settling on her lap (and Jonghyun tried to scan his brain for the memory of ever seeing the old woman bringing it with her). A tip of the damp towel brushed against Kibum's face, the mud patches being erased with each of Grandmother Kim's wrinkled hands. Then it traveled down to his arms, lingering a little longer on his elbows to avoid the scrapes from getting infected.
Standing on one side was Jonghyun flinching as if he was the one with bleeding knees. He tried to look elsewhere, on anything but Kibum. His eyes fixed on the cream-painted walls, nothing changed - paintings artistically compiled and hung on one side while the opposite side was abused with polaroid photos and sticky notes and scribbles. Sticky notes, Jonghyun repeated in his head. The younger never got tired of his fondness towards those colorful, sticky papers. Jonghyun shook his head when he remembered the last time he encountered one of those and he was certain it wasn't his best memory with Kibum. No, it definitely wasn't.
"You treat me like a girl, halmeoni. It's just a tiny scratch, see," Kibum's voice broke the singer out of his reverie, swaying his legs back and forth to prove to his grandparent that she was just overreacting and that there was nothing to worry about, really.
"How can I not when you're acting like one! You cry often, you trip and injure yourself, you even let this good-for-nothing brat top you! Or do you want to prove me otherwise, Kibummie?"
Hot, hot, hot - was all Jonghyun and Kibum could feel rising up their now tomato-colored cheeks. And Jonghyun couldn't believe his luck, his damn forsaken luck. Was it possible to have this kind of open-minded discussion with someone in her late seventies? He was lucky the first time as it was just him alone, but with Kibum (whom he hadn't touched for months, mind you)?
Impossible, Grandmother Kim was.
"Halmeoni! I'm really fine. Let me just take some rest, please?" Kibum embarrassedly whined and Jonghyun could see himself doing the same thing a few days back. The idol swore he would soon die of heart attack from the old lady's uncalled outbursts.
Grandmother Kim sighed, eyes knitting together as he gave his grandchild one last check to make sure he was speaking the truth and not just changing the subject. "Alright. But take a nice, warm bath before you rest. I'll just be in the kitchen with the maid to prepare lunch."
With the click of the door behind Grandmother Kim, both Jonghyun and Kibum let out a breath of relief. The longer they stayed there, the crazier they'd get, Jonghyun was sure of it. Even her sister, Sodam, wasn't that open when talking about it!
"Good morning, Bummie," Jonghyun spoke softly as he crouched before Kibum, settling himself between the younger's legs. He pursed his lips and craned his neck, receiving a kiss from none other than his pretty, little model.
Kibum smiled, dimples visible and all and Jonghyun wasn't sure if he would ever get tired of seeing those cute dents on the other's cheeks.
"I need a shower; I'm all muddy and gross," Kibum scrunched up his nose in disgust.
Chuckling, Jonghyun leaned in and brushed his lips against the model's nose. "I don't mind."
"But I do. Run the bath for me please?"
That pout, Jonghyun thought, would be the death of him. "Anything for you, your highness."
And Kibum giggled - the kind that killed Jonghyun for the umpteenth time that morning. I must be a complete idiot, Jonghyun mumbled internally as the biggest mistake he ever committed passed his mind. Because he was - an idiot - for thinking that being with Kibum should be a temporary thing in his life.
He ran the warm water for the younger, standing in front of the sink to wash up a bit and to brush his teeth. And God, did he just realize he was walking around the house - and in the garden - with only a black tank top and boxers on. (To think that the old lady saw him in his current state.) After gurgling like mad man, Jonghyun stepped out of the bathroom and back in Kibum's room (and he thought how wonderful it was to be an only child because the model got to have a large room with his own bathroom) to fetch the latter.
Kibum was standing in front of the body-sized mirror, eyes scanning up and traveling down to his newly-acquired scrapes. Jonghyun watched as the bright-haired model sink his teeth into his lip and knit his brows in worry. He approached the younger, his arms encircling the latter's slim waist and chin resting atop his shoulder.
"Sorry I overslept," Jonghyun sincerely mouthed, brushing his lips against Kibum's neck. "I'll help you apply the ointment after you freshen up."
"S'okay. It's not the first time something like this happened, you know," were Kibum's reassuring words, his lips curling at the feel of the elder's breath against his skin.
"I know," a smirk gracing the brunette's lips.
And Kibum blushed, ducking his head in embarrassment.
How could he not, when vivid scenes flashed through his mind? (Scenes involving a bed, sweaty foreheads, hip bruises, and round puppy eyes.) It has been so long and both of them would be lying if they said they weren't frustrated, craving for smooth skin and luscious lips. Jonghyun felt deprived, but he wasn't sure the younger was even near ready to be ravaged, touched, devoured. And he was going to wait because he loved Kibum too much (and besides, his left hand was - kind of, sort of, in a way - relieving).
Jonghyun was going to wait... not.
He was sure he would, if only he could. Long, beautiful fingers were tracing his happy trail and he was this close to losing it. They were lying on Kibum's bed, the sweet scent of vanilla (the model's favorite shampoo) entering Jonghyun's square-shaped nostrils and getting him high because it was exactly his brand of heroin - Kibum was.
His first attempt to a proper conversation was pretty much close to the word failure - stammered, cracked, awkward. Fortunately, the younger didn't seem to mind and just answered with amusement in his voice (because the Kim Jonghyun was shuddering under his touch).
"Your manager - no, make that your whole agency - will chop my balls and feed them to the lions," Jonghyun grumbled under his breath.
Kibum giggled, index finger drawing circles around the elder's bellybutton as the latter's tank top had ridden up. "You helped me apply the ointment, did you not? The scars will fade, Jjong. Besides, there's this heaven-sent mixture called BB cream, just so you know."
And Jonghyun could do nothing but engulf the beautiful blonde in a bear hug, squishing and rolling him on the bed like a kimbap (ha ha, no pun intended on his part). A few more rolls and the younger was a squealing mess, cheeks flushed and breath short. The soulful singer finally let his pretty feline to catch his breath, his body resting atop Kibum. This was it - the moment where the feeling of elementary, middle, and high school memories shower them with much-needed nostalgia. And they stopped and stared, the need for words thrown out the window. Those eyes - those goddamn beautiful, cat-like eyes - were staring back at Jonghyun, him into oblivion. He wanted to scream; scream out those three words, but he knew none of that was necessary. Because those brown orbs shined with all its clarity, reassuring Jonghyun that those three words were received and more than gladly returned.
"Kibum, I-"
"I love you, too," Kibum said it anyway because it had been so damn long and he was just a human.
I love you, too.
I love you, too.
Kibum loves me, too.
Not a single second wasted, Jongyhyun just had to lean in because this was it; this was finally it. Soft, cherry-colored lips molded together, moving as one - unhurried, gentle, stomach-flipping. As their eyes closed, they knew they were defying gravity. (Because it certainly felt like it; felt like they were floating as the once innocent kiss deepened into so much more - one that truly held value.)
As the younger's arms locked around Jonghyun's neck and fingers weaving through the elder's brown-coated hair, the feeling was pure bliss. Kim Jonghyun's mind was clouded with love, passion, submission, and Kibum, Kibum, Kibum.
His heart? Oh, it exploded into beautiful clichéd fireworks twelve seconds ago.
Maybe in time, Jonghyun contemplated, a kiss could lead them to something better. But for now, he would settle for this. Until the black velvet box revealed itself, in time, he would be fine with this. Because now, he was certain. To hell with fame and fortune--
I'm getting down on one knee and I'm going to marry you, Kim Kibum.
Printing Image. . .
Thin, red-streaked lips formed a smirk, long, French-tipped nails tapping on the hardwood desk as she waited for the device to produce the image she so badly needed. She miscalculated and that caused her to run to her last resort; her hidden card. A disbelieving scoff left as she thought back to her girl friend's failure. You should never trust those with a soft heart, she mentally scolded (and humored) herself. If Ha Sang Baek wouldn't give her the brightest spotlight, then so be it. She was more than driven; fear vanquished from her vocabulary, to play dirty and hail herself queen just so she could shine, shine, shine.
Because she believed she deserved nothing but the best, she would make a move while her prey obliviously waited for his impending doom.
Conceited, she proved to be, but she would continue to turn a blind eye because she was it - doom in its perfect form. And soon, all would bow down to her throne, marveling over her timeless beauty.
At least that was how her mind decided to play tricks on her.
A/N:
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I can't get over his legs, so deal with it. It's like, he stole Taemin's tattered pants and cut it short and made the hole bigger, exposing his milky thighs for the whole world to see. D:
- I just got back from an 8-hour trip and just a little trivia, I wrote this chapter while sitting pretty at the back of the car. AND OH YES, how ecstatic I am because all the fail!fluff is nearing its end, meaning I can go back to writing in the first-person point-of-view. Yay for me, yay for you, yay for all of us!
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So, it's my birthday today. YAY!
(Oh, and greet my Hyunseungie a belated happy birthday, too!) So, my muse decided to give me a wonderful (to me, to you- not so much because it can cause update delays) present! TROLOLOL. I'm sorry, okay? But I had to write this down or I'm going to explode - The Rule Breaker. Will contain more or less 10 chapters. I'M SORRY FOR TRYING TO JUGGLE TWO STORIES, I'M SORRY. D: - Excuse the typographical/grammatical mistakes. I didn't even bother using word to check on this (just uploaded straight from my phone).
- Thank you, everyone, for still being here and still reading this. :) Oh, anyone out there reads Onkey? -- Staging Love
- EDIT: Why did AFF delete my chapter 22 before? And now it won't even show this on the dashboard? PFFT.
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