"I'm tired of doing this," I said to Taeyong. And I meant it.

It's been almost five months since we both starting "dating." And I say it like that because no one knows that we have been "dating." Except for my best friend. The same best friend who finally knocked some sense into my head.

"What are you talking about?" Taeyong asked, his eyes narrowing slightly. We were at school and this was a no-contact zone. No talking, no staring, no smiling, no nothing at each other except for the slightest of glances.

"Of you being ashamed of me. Of us not going public because you're afraid of what your so-called friends might think. That you're a totally different, caring person but only when we are alone together. That's what I'm tired of and that's what I'm talking about." I gritted my teeth when he cast a sideways glance to make sure no one was listening in on our conversation. We were right by the cafeteria, as I had managed to find him before lunch started.

Taeyong lowered his voice and I felt a sudden tightening of my throat, "Can't we talk about this later?" He was practically whispering, trying not to move his mouth as he said the words.

The inside of my mouth turned to dust as I stared at him. His dark hair tickled his long eyelashes, the same ones that framed the most beautiful hazel eyes I had ever seen. My eyes traced the straight nose that led to his full, pink lips. The same ones that I had kissed the night before. His good looks and athletic abilities made him one of the more "popular" people at our high school.

And that's what he was ashamed about. That he was popular and I just wasn't. I was pretty, but not gorgeous. I was curvy with an hourglass figure, but not exactly the ideal size two. I had long black hair as my mother was of Asian descent, but I got my almond-shaped brown eyes from my father, who was of English descent.

And as I stared at Lee Taeyong, every girl's dream guy at our high school, I realized just how much our relationship could never work. He was somebody, and I was nobody. He obviously didn't want it to be known that he had been with me for the past five months, probably because it would embarrass him. And I would never want to humiliate him in front of people whose opinions obviously mattered to him.

I felt tears sting my eyes as I thought back to the question he asked me, the same question I had yet to respond to.

Can't we talk about this later?

I found my voice and straightened, "No. Because there is no later anymore." I looked into his hazel eyes and saw them harden with some emotion before I turned around, the tears already starting to leak out. "Sorry if I embarrassed you."

And then I started to walk away.

"Y/N…" I heard him call, his voice tight. I felt a flutter of hope in my chest, but it was crushed the moment I heard another girl's voice.

"Taeyong! I've been looking for you." The girl paused. "Who were you talking to?" Her voice sounded nonchalant but I heard the underlying threat in her tone.

I slowed my steps a little just to hear Taeyong's response. I hoped that maybe he would confess everything to whoever the girl was. Saying something like, "Her name's Y/N and she's my girlfriend."

But I heard him sigh instead and mumble, "Nobody."

My heart shattered.

…………………………

I don't need him. I don't need a guy. He's a total jerk and I so was not in love with him.

I'd been repeating this mantra in my head for over a half an hour in an attempt not to cry. Three small pieces of the corner of a picture lie before me. The picture was of us at his house; he had been trying to teach me how to play his favorite video game but I had kept dying. He looked so beautiful in it, while I was just not beautiful in it.

I read somewhere that if you want to help rid your mind of someone, then you take a picture of that person and rip it up, piece by piece. But for every piece you say something like, "She dressed like a ," or "She spread rumors behind my back." The logic behind it was that by saying those things you realize how wrong they were for you.

So, I only managed three pieces before I started thinking things like, "He's a great kisser," and "I love his smile."

It obviously didn't work for me.

I did, however, manage, "He's a ," and "He didn't appreciate me," and lastly, "I hate him. No really, I do!"

I heard a sigh from my doorway, "What are you doing, Y/N?"

I sniffed, "Mourning." My best friend, Lisa, came to kneel next to me on the floor of my bedroom. I must have been a pretty pathetic sight. I was surrounded by tissues, romance novels, my three pieces of the photograph, and a carton of cookie dough ice cream.

"You did the right thing," she soothed. "He was a and you didn't need him."

It didn't really make me feel any better.

"I don't want to go to school tomorrow," I mumbled, leaning back against my bed. I tugged nervously at the fibers of my carpet. "I mean, he said I was a nobody. How am I suppose to face him after that?" My chest constricted and I gasped as more tears started to pour out.

"If you don't go then he'll think you were affected by it," she said, brushing back her thin blonde hair.

I looked at her and sniffed some more, "But I am affected by it."

She glanced down briefly at the tissues and the books and I flushed with embarrassment. "The key is to act as indifferent to him as possible. Make him feel like he meant nothing to you. Hurt his ego a little."

"But I thought I loved him," I wailed as I grabbed for another tissue. Then I remembered that Taeyong never said he loved me. My chest constricted again when I remembered telling him after a particularly heavy round of making out, and he hadn't said anything back.

"I know, swee