I sat on the L-couch I have moved closer to the glass wall of my office, dead tired and passively watching the city lights below. Nobody in the office dared to bother me. It had been a rather hectic week, and that is understating matters.

 

In just a span of three days, I went through fourteen meetings with different companies. Seulgi and my lawyers had to attend the rest which brings us to a total of around twenty three meetings. After finishing one, I would have to drive to yet another venue and meet with other people.

 

For the past three nights, I have been going home at dawn. I wouldn’t get some shuteye immediately after that of course. I had to work some stuff out for another hour or two and get up after only three or four hours of sleep. I felt like a ticking bomb ready to explode, but so far I have been holding in my cranky state due to lack of sleep. I just needed to get this week done and over with before I could relax.

 

Not tonight though. My meetings ended earlier than I’ve expected. Thank goodness the people I did business with today are easier to talk to. I’ve immediately closed the deals with them, and we only had to meet again for the monthly checks.

 

It’s only ten in the evening, but I felt like it was around 4AM, the usual time I slept during hectic days. I’m just about ready to hit the sack right there and then, but my phone began ringing. That’s when the monster residing at the dark corner of my mind suddenly surfaced, but before I could hurl the phone against the wall, I saw who was calling me, pacifying the nerves.

 

It’s Mark. Though he had been the cause of sleepless nights and utter confusion recently, he still had that calming effect on me, which was a puzzle. I start bouncing off walls whenever he would call or send me messages ever since that night I spent with him. I had a mini heart attack when I saw his picture flashing on my screen, but oddly enough, it quelled my inner Hyde.

 

“Yo,” I greeted, even managing a chuckle, for what, I didn’t know. I knew I was about to go through hysterics.

 

‘Are you okay? You sound kinda off.’

 

“Do I?” I sighed. “I just got off the fourteenth meeting of the week. Of course, I’m not okay.”

 

‘Oh.’

 

He didn’t speak again, but held onto the line. It got me thinking. Shrugging, I sat up and looked at the calendar across the room. That’s when it hit me. I’m supposed to meet him just now. “,” I cussed under my breath and stood up. “Where are you?”

 

‘Rooftop.’

 

“My building?” I asked, hurriedly making it out of my office in a hurry. I just grabbed my coat on the way out. “What the heck are you doing at the rooftop? Is that even allowed?”

 

‘Seulgi helped me out. I figured you would be tired so I’m not letting you drive.’ He chuckled. ‘Come up?’

 

“Oh my god! I’m so sorry. Wait for me. I’m on my way.”

 

Thank goodness there weren’t too many people around and I had the elevator to myself, abusing the rooftop button as if it would get me there faster. A few minutes later, the elevator doors opened, revealing Mark standing by what seemed to be a dinner set up.

 

I made my way towards him, but he met me halfway, immediately taking me in his arms. He’s even touchier recently, hugging me out of the blue. He held me by the shoulders while his other hand soothed my back. Just then, I felt his mouth pressing against the top of my head.

 

I honestly didn’t know what to do with my hands, surprised by his sudden show of affection, so I just patted him where I could reach, attempting to pull back, but he wouldn’t let me. “Don’t.”

 

Confused, I just stood there, letting him hold me. It lasted for a good minute before he let go. He led me towards the table then and sat me down. “I would tell you to rest,” he said as he sat himself down, “but not today. I hope you don’t mind.”

 

I shook my head. “No, I don’t.” I looked around me. “I can’t miss this, can I?”

 

He grinned. “No, you can’t.”

 

We both dissolved into laughter. “But what’s with the set up? Don’t you think it’s a little too late for dinner?” I shrugged. I appreciate everything, but I had to be honest to him. “I already ate with my last client.”

 

Mark pulled the cloth over a plate which I would notice for the first time since coming to the rooftop. On top of the plate was a plastic container with six mini egg tarts in it, one of my favorite things in the world. “Not too late for dessert, I hope.”

 

I leaned back on my chair, tilting it backwards, my eyes on the container. “Wow, Tuan.” I in air through my teeth, unable to help the smile on my face. “You know me too well.”

 

“Of course.”

 

“If I would be honest, it’s hella scary.” I leaned forward again. “When the hell did you get here? And when did I tell you I wanted egg tarts?”

 

He rolled his eyes and pushed the plate towards me. “Just dig in.”

 

“No, really.” I opened the container anyway and took one of the tarts, handing it to him. He declined it, claiming he already ate. “More for me then.” I took a bite, relishing the sweet, creamy explosion in my mouth. I was already devouring the second one when I noticed Mark watching me from across the table, chin propped on the heel of his palm. A smile played at the corners of his mouth.

 

“Thank you, Tuan…” I finished the tart. “So anyway…”

 

He immediately read through my unspoken question. He did ask me to meet him, but I didn’t know the reason behind it. “I’m leaving for Singapore tomorrow.”

 

“Oh.” I didn’t exactly remember how I said the words, but he straightened on his seat, suddenly looking tense. It wasn’t that it was news that he’s leaving again. I’m used to it. I just get surprised cause I don’t concern myself with his schedule. From the moment I decided to associate myself with his lot, beginning with Sehun, I got used to being informed on short notice that they would be leaving for out of town or overseas promotions.

 

“That’s tomorrow?” I asked, concealing the sudden pang of loneliness that surged into my system, springing from chest all the way outside the defining lines of what made me. Again, I found myself having an untimely meeting with my old friend – disappointment.

 

I know I have been trying to avoid Mark the past weeks, but I wasn’t expecting to feel this way. I suddenly felt like I didn’t have anything to look forward to. It’s weird how a few days ago, I was just refusing his invitation to go with him to China, and now, I’m actually waiting for him to invite me again, not that I could say yes because I had previous engagements the following day until the weekend.

 

This time, despite the numerous times he had to leave the country for certain events, I didn’t want him to go. Though I do not see him all the time, or even make attempts not to see him, there is a certain comfort in knowing that he’s just around and not in some place thousands of miles away.

 

This proves just what a selfish little I am in reality. I take people for granted knowing that they’re just around, but when the time comes they have to be somewhere else out of my reach, I start throwing an internal fit.

 

Mark nodded. “I’ll be away for most of the weekend…probably make it back Sunday.”

 

I picked up the egg tart and nodded at him in understanding, but in truth, I was dying to hear that invite. It didn’t come. Instead, he said, “Seulgi said you’re going to be very busy, too. I hope you don’t knock yourself out overworking.”

 

I snickered. “When did I ever do that?”

 

He shot me a withering look which said, ‘You know what I’m talking about.’ Well, I did have my moments. I pretended to be fine while nursing a week-long cold, attended all the events in my schedule and by the end of the week, promised to meet him. I didn’t make it to the couch in their living room when I suddenly collapsed. I momentarily lost it, but when I woke up, I was already on the couch, passed out for a few minutes. I had a fever and he had to take me home after.

 

I shrugged. “That’s a different case. I was sick then. That’s what you call being suicidal. Right now, I’m fine, and it’s not like the meetings are too much to handle.” They’re draining me of my energy, was what I really meant, but I wouldn’t have him worrying about me when he had a concert coming.

 

“Just…take care.” He winced. “You really need to go home and sleep.”

 

I picked up another tart. “Wide awake now. Sugar rush.” Mark chuckled at my sentiment. “Really, thank you for always looking after me, but I’ll be fine.” My voice suddenly became unsteady as I uttered the last words. If Mark noticed that, he didn’t say anything and merely told me to finish up so he could take me home, volunteering to drive.

 

I woke up the following day, clueless about how I even got into bed. I was in comfy pajamas, too. I guess I dozed off in the car while Mark was driving, and it’s quite obvious that he took the liberty of delivering me to bed and changing my clothes for me. I don’t remember anything at all, too tired. And he’s just too kind.

 

I immediately took my phone from the nightstand. It was with my car keys. It was really ing scary just how much he cares for me, even going to the extent of actually knowing where I put certain things. I stood up and looked for his name on my list of contacts. I sent a brief message: Thank you.

 

I didn’t get a reply, and I just figured he was busy. He would usually reply immediately which got me thinking that he did nothing but fiddle with his phone. Of course, that’s not the case at all. I rarely see airport pictures of him actually abusing his phone like Sehun did. Well, Sehun being on the phone all the time is partly my fault.

 

I walked into the living room, about to proceed to the kitchen after turning the TV on for the morning news when I noticed these familiar blue blossoms, slightly wilting the last time I saw them. Now, they were much more alive, bright blue and arranged in a transparent vase, filled halfway with water on the center table.

 

I blinked at it and noticed a note stuck to it. ‘I saw the last ones I sent already wilted so I replaced them. I hope these ones make you smile. Love, Mark.’

 

I just stared at the flowers, shaking my head. I went back to my room where I remembered throwing the flowers inside my closet. He sent those same blue flowers the morning I ran away from their dorm. I realized I just discarded them on the compartment where I put my sleeping garments. No doubt, he saw them the previous night.

 

Reality is cruel. I sank down on the floor, cradling the dried flowers in my arms. I am cruel. I am cruel to Mark, the person who showed me nothing but kindness. It’s not because I didn’t have anybody with me, it’s not because I have no friends or family, it’s definitely not because nob