It’s only been the third day since Mark went away and I think I’m about to go crazy. His departure has had a worse impact on me than I was initially expecting. My separation anxiety towards him, the same one he wasn’t aware about, is on a whole new level, unique from any other person I’ve felt it for my whole life.

 

I do not have any reason why I’m even feeling it, at least not a valid one. It’s quite scary.

 

Okay. First of all, this isn’t the first time we’re going to be apart for this long. It’s been three days. Three! And yet here I am losing my equilibrium. No. In fact, I’ve left for the Philippines to attend to business not too long ago, and I’ve been gone roughly three weeks including my quick trip to Germany. It doesn’t make sense that I would feel this way now.

 

Second, I do not understand why I miss him this much all things considered. Sure, it’s natural that I should miss him because he had been with me for the past months more often than not. It’s a natural feeling because he is my friend, probably more than that, but I have never felt such intense feelings of longing for another person apart from him, not even for my family.

 

It was the kind of longing that caused me physical pain. For some reason, I just felt ill on the inside and I’ve somehow lost interest in doing anything and I meant anything. It’s bad news. Heck, I’ve spent my day off lying on the bed all day. I ate once and did not get out of bed again after I decided to go back to sleep.

 

The funniest thing of all was that I did not even want to get up the following day just thinking that I would not see him. Well, it wasn’t really funny at all because I didn’t have the appetite again despite not having eaten enough the previous day. It was extreme, to the point of actually shunning the rest of the world by turning my phone off. I even disconnected the landline and because of that, I forgot I had an important meeting.

 

I was only able to grasp the reality of my severe psychosomatic sickness triggered by Mark’s absence when Seulgi came knocking on my door, looking frantic when she saw me.

 

“What the hell is happening to you?!” she gasped when I opened the door. I probably looked that bad. She was in her older-sister-from-another-mother mode and was having none of my whining when she started rummaging through my closet, looking for clothes I could use to go to the meeting.

 

“I don’t wanna go,” I voiced as she handed me my morning tea.

 

“You will go,” she told me. “I came all the way here so please dress up or I swear I’ll do it myself.”

 

I did not like the thought of it. Sometimes, I resented having her as my secretary. This is just one those times when Jo Seulgi would boss me around. If I had to be somewhere important, even if I didn’t want to go, she will be there to make sure that I go by all means.

 

“Why?” I grumbled, stuffing my face with oatmeal, prepared by me ever faithful henchman. I didn’t feel like eating it thought with all the nagging she was doing.

 

“Because you need to. You promised you will go.”

 

As if that was enough to motivate me. “You’re annoying.”

 

“I know. Now stop being a brat and get dressed.”

 

I did so reluctantly. I know this person will beat my . She can. She just chooses not to even when I’m being a royal pain on the backside. One day, she probably will, and do to me the dunking I promised Jungkook.

 

“After the meeting, we’re going to think about his.”

 

I got dressed and was soon stuck on the passenger side of her car. My secretary confiscated my car keys. Some secretary, Seulgi. She didn’t say anything and did not even comment on my utter defiance of not getting my hair and makeup done. I had every intention to play sick at the meeting so it would be done and over with quickly. I didn’t care if I promised. I wanted to stay at home.

 

The devil, after the meeting, which ended on an excellent note, Seulgi brought me straight to the office and sat me down for a talk. A serious one. I only ever get strapped to a chair for such discussions because of my dad and never again since I returned alive after drunk driving when I was eighteen. And yet here is Seulgi, doing the same.

 

“What is the matter with you?” she demanded, pacing back and forth in front of me.

 

I didn’t have any idea about how I would answer her question, not the slightest clue. What indeed?

 

“I just feel sick,” I muttered after much deliberation in my head.

 

“Do you want to get yourself checked?”

 

I shook my head.

 

“How do you feel?”

 

“Sick.” I honestly felt like a kid being reprimanded for stealing a goddamn cookie.

 

Her sharp eyes focused on me. “You don’t look sick to me,” she said. “Just lazy.”

 

I scoffed. “Well, I feel like it.”

 

“Let’s get you checked then.” I heard the challenge in her voice, but I did not understand what she was so wound up about. I went to the meeting. It was a success. What was she taxing me about?

 

“That’s not necessary,” I told her flatly.

 

“See, you’re not sick at all.”

 

I rolled my eyes. Sometimes, I wonder who works for who. I dared not impose my position on her. Before anything else, Seulgi is my friend and my savior. I would have gone insane without her fixing my schedule. She might have been working for me for years, but I’ve known her as a good sister and friend before that. I turned my chair away from her. All the pacing she was doing made me feel dizzier than I already am.

 

“What is this all about? Seriously.” Her tone had a softer edge to it though I knew she was restraining herself from going all softy on me. Yelling at me doesn’t work and she knew I would manipulate things to my advantage if she chooses to be lenient.

 

I shook my head though I knew she couldn’t see me. “I don’t know why either.”

 

“You’ve been like this since…” My chair its own and soon I was watching as her face registered realization. For what, I didn’t know. She raised a finger and chuckled. “Oh my god, boss.”

 

I arched a brow at her, still confused.

 

“You miss him,” she said.

 

I shrugged on my seat, not getting what she meant and giving up on thinking about it. “I miss who?” My brain seemed to be suppressing things because I realized what she said and my response a little too late. I laughed mockingly at her. “You can’t mean Tuan.”

 

She smirked at me. “You started acting off when he left.”

 

“Did I now?” I scowled at her. “This isn’t funny and it’s ridiculous.”

 

“You’re being ridiculous.”

 

“Well, , Seulgi.” I stood up from my chair. “I don’t know what you’re getting at.”

 

“You feel like crap because he’s not here.” She leered at me. “Do you think I did not notice how you ‘re always itching to get off that chair when you’re about to meet him? You even skipped several meetings just to be with him. Stop ting me.”

 

“I ain’t ting you. That’s the last thing I’ll do to you, really.”

 

“Fine. Then come clean. Is this because of him?”

 

“Hmm,” I said evasively. She could take my answer for whatever she wants, but I ended up regretting that because she took matters into her own hands. That very evening, I’ve received the same flight details to LA.

 

I protested and told her off the next day, but though she could clearly see how mad I am, she said, “You’re going. I’m taking you there myself.”

 

Her revelation did not please me in the least. I’ve always wished I could take her with me wherever I go, but this isn’t one of those times.

 

“Oh stop sulking. We both know you want to see him. I made a way. You’re welcome.”

 

“I hate you, do you know that?”

 

She laughed at me then. “No. You love me. In fact, you want to hug me right now.”

 

I left her, listening to the sound of her satisfied laughter as I grabbed my car keys and headed to the common lounge where Jungkook had been waiting for me that day. I stormed into the room and told him to follow me to the lot, merely poking my head into the door and walking away again without waiting for him.

 

He was panting when he caught up with me, holding several grocery bags, our food for movie night, I’m sure. I just sulked at the corner of the elevator, waiting for him to press the button that would close the doors. He looked at the bags he was holding, the button and then me. I got his message, but I did not move. He pressed the button himself rather angrily and glowered at me. He hates it when I boss him around without even lifting a finger.

 

“Goddammit, you’re mental!”

 

I did not answer him, but I took one of the bags he was carrying. We drove to my flat, and surprisingly, he did not bother me further. Jungkook even took charge of preparing our food. He made ranch for the instant French fries he cooked and did not settle for drinking soda. He actually made a special