I went back to Korea a day after Wonwoo’s birthday, immediately making my way to his hometown where he was currently taking a break from all of the promotions. I heard he was still on the process of recuperating. I haven’t really thought about going home yet, but I must, and I think it’s good timing that I came a day late.

I had my reasons.

It’s Wonwoo’s birthday, and if my unexpected visit pisses him off or bring about nightmares, I didn’t want him to remember it on his special day. I need to be considerate because I’ve realized just how much damage I’ve caused to that kid. Sometimes, I wish he never met me. I wish I never showed him my better side. Maybe then it would be easier for him to forget me.

At least, if I visit him now, I can talk to him in private without having to hold back. This time, even if he shuns me, I think I would be able to say what I want since none of the other boys will be listening. I didn’t want to cause further ruin, but he has to listen to me and I need to end this feud between us especially since I’ve realized a lot of things regarding Mark. I need to start on a fresh page if I were to pursue whatever is going on between me and that mega-watt smiler.

Jeon Wonwoo lived in a quaint corner of the city he called his hometown. I didn’t really know a thing about his city. I’ve only gone there in passing, but addresses were easy to find in the whole of Korea. With a little help from the Internet and some asking around, I was able to find his address. This is so unlike me, but I’ve got to see him at least once and try to fix things, stop pretending that there is nothing wrong, and accept the aftermath. God, I felt like pathetic character in a typical plotline of a cliché romance movie, searching for her estranged lover, except that the person I’m looking for isn’t really a lover, but seeing him was something that would complete the foundations of yet another chapter in my life.

I found myself sitting by the glass windows of a rustic café, staring up at the five-story building right across the street where his family’s apartment unit was supposed to be. I knew the floor, I knew the room number, but I did not dare go knocking on his door. His family knows nothing of my existence. I’ve seen them on photographs but I’ve never met them, and I guess that it’s not necessary anymore given the circumstances.

I am, by nature, an impatient person. Waiting brings out the monster just slumbering beneath the surface of my well-reinforced façade of composure and equilibrium. The walls I’ve built around me to keep that monster at bay is as fragile as the wings of a butterfly where waiting was concerned. It withstood the fists of the monster tearing the wall down in an attempt to get out. I ended up sitting for three hours ‘til nightfall on the same chair, fiddling with the same gift wrapper, ordering the same beverage for the nth time that the store watcher was already giving me weird looks, but I did it. I waited, albeit impatiently.

‘Any luck?’ Kyungsoo, the only other person who knew where I was at the moment, asked over a phone call halfway through my waiting time. I don’t know why but he was the person I thought of telling the moment I landed. He called me names, really harsh ones that insulted my intelligence and overall personality, but in the end, he understood my purpose. It’s just like him to rant and give me a hard time before he finally gives in and supports me all the way.

“Nah. He would come out of the apartment, right?”

‘If he’s sick, then maybe he won’t.’

“Right.” I chuckled, losing interest in the task I’ve started when a familiar figure walked from the opposite end of the road to the sidewalk going towards the building. “Oh , he’s here. Bye!” I hung up before he could say anything, gathering my stuff and about to make a run for the door when that person crossed the street to the café.

Jeon Wonwoo. Looking gorgeous as ever in that quiet manner of his, his hands half-concealed in sleeves of his navy blue top out of habit, a huge duffle bag slung over his shoulder. He was wearing the baseball cap I gave him. I took that as a good sign and started feeling fuzzy all over. I missed this person, but I don’t have any right to feel that. I knew my purpose and I’m not going to make him miserable again after this. If that means not seeing him again then so be it.

He entered the café, watching him walk towards the counter, greeting the guy behind the counter, the same one who thinks I’m weird to be ordering the same drink for the last hours. They seemed to know each other. I just stood there, torn between sitting down and going towards them. I was just glued on the spot, staring at him. I don’t know how I must have looked like but the guy at the counter flashed me a pained look, exchanged looks with Wonwoo and smirked.

That’s when he spared a glance over his shoulder, the glance turning into a shocked expression as his eyes lingered on me. He leaned against the counter and glanced at the other guy. “There’s a foreign girl sitting on the table across the counter, right? You’re seeing this, too.”

“Yes. She’s been here for hours.”

As if his words were a confirmation of how long I have been stuck in the same place, I finally found my knees caving in and I sat down, wrenching my gaze from Wonwoo. I breathed in deeply and looked outside, wondering why I even waited but also finding it worthwhile. It did not take long before the chair from across the table moved to my right, seated on it was the person I came to see.

Wonwoo just stared at me, opening his mouth and closing it again repeatedly as if he wanted to say something, but would resort to silence in the end. My should