Yoongi had no idea why he had done it.

He didn't know why he had dialed the number Taehyung had given him just four days later, completely fed up with both Namjoon and Seokjin as the two refused to leave him alone.

It had started to suffocate him, make him even more anxious as now he was responsible for pleasing someone else than his own worthless self every waking minute he spent with them, and he didn't want that.

He didn't want the looks and the overly cheery tones they used to him as if to force the illusion that everything was fine... Nothing was fine.

They had returned. The nightmares. The flashes of moments where he'd been the even bigger target of nasty whispers and rumors, triggered by the way Namjoon and Jin – like Seokjin had asked him to call him – tended to subtly give him glances and then murmur to each other instead of just speaking up and saying it so that he could hear it too.

But no, they pretended like they never even looked at his way when they met his eyes.

They were acting almost exactly the same way people usually did around him. Ignoring his existence, spreading words that weren't true and then simply just wishing for him to disappear and usually even spitting that directly at his face on days he didn't look beaten enough. They reminded him of all the words that were meant to push him to the ground and leave him there for the floor to swallow. 

And after pretending like they didn't talk of him, the two closest people he had in his life turned around, opened their mouths with sunshine smiles and spewed with sugary tones. Yoongi wanted to throw up. 

They didn't mean it, he liked to believe. But they weren't going to change it for as long as they thought he needed 'to be kept an eye on'.  them, was exactly the thought that got him leaving the house.

He wasn't that sure where this yet another bout of negativity stemmed from this time around after already living with it for an eternity, but the insecurity was eating him up whole, making him relive things he didn't want to remember even now that Namjoon was back. 

Yoongi just had to get away again. It was the only way he could let himself breathe, the only coping method that worked with the two. No matter how much he caved for acknowledgement as another person, them acting like this made him want to run away as far as he could as fast as he could. 

The fakeness, the forced over the top positivity... It was suffocating. And they didn't think he'd notice? That he'd be too dumb to believe that? Unbelievable. He wasn't a 5-year-old toddler. 

And so it happens that he called Taehyung, feeling like he needed an excuse for leaving. But really, he could've lied. He was in no way forced to actually go there, but nevertheless, his feet were walking towards the cafe Taehyung was waiting for him at. He wasn't quite sure why though.

Why? Why was he going there? Why was he still thinking that maybe he had people he could trust? That maybe Namjoon, Seokjin and Taehyung – all three of them – just meant good? 

He had thought about it. At nights when he thought about how pathetic and worthless he actually was, he also thought that what if Namjoon really did care? The younger had returned after all. It had been, what, at least a week already? And he still hadn't left him. Even Seokjin came over more often now. Why would Namjoon stay with him when he could just stay with Seokjin if he did not care about him at all? 

Maybe that's why he came out. Because out of all people, no matter how little he actually knew of the guy, Taehyung had been the first one in his life that had cared enough to come seek for him. Heck, the guy was the first one ever to even apologize to him. 

Maybe he was there to see, if Taehyung could really convince him that there was still hope. That he'd convince him he wasn't a complete failure, that he had people to trust.

He wasn't really sure why he put it all on Taehyung's shoulders, or why he even decided to go since he expected nothing of it, but it was how it was. He had made the call and now he was already there.

He didn't actually believe he'd be a changed man after this, but he didn't think he'd be able to tolerate any more of Namjoon's and Seokjin's fake attitude if he never left the house. And it was a good day so far, the sun was shining – a bit too bright in his opinion – no one had stopped to cuss at him that much at all and he would be getting a coffee that was not instant coffee in about five to ten minutes. In his life, that counted as a good day. 

The moment he stepped inside the cafe they were supposed to meet at, he could already see someone frantically waving their hand back and forth with his peripheral vision. Yoongi took one look at Taehyung's bright grin and sighed. It looked so exhausting already. 

"Here, I ordered you some coffee," the younger exclaimed as Yoongi rounded the table, seemingly excited about it. "I didn't know what you'd like with it, so I just took sugar and milk here on the table with me just in case. You know, so you can use them if you want."

Yoongi sat down and stared at the coffee in front of him. Sure enough, it was a cup of steaming, black liquid that he could see a reflection of his face on. There was still steam rising from it, so it was still hot. Good. He took a sip, cursing a bit as he burned his tongue but relished the bitter taste anyway. A double espresso would've been better but he couldn't really care about that as long as he had coffee in any kind of form in his hands.

"So, how was your day?" Taehyung asked after the silence had dragged on for a while. Yoongi sighed and put his cup down, keeping his hands around its warmth. 

"It was okay."

Taehyung raised a brow at him, "You called me because it was okay?"

Yoongi shrugged and Taehyung sighed,

"Okay then. Do you have anything you want to talk about?" Yoongi shook his head. "Well. Maybe we should get to know each other? I'm not going to just sit here and say nothing, so maybe I should talk first. I'm Kim Taehyung, as I might've told you at some point, I'm a singer, 22 years old, my horoscope is a Capricorn–"

Yoongi should've felt bad when his attention wavered and he focused staring out of the window instead. He didn't know why he couldn't really pay attention to what Taehyung was saying. He should've been polite for someone that seemed to consider him as another human being, but as he numbly let the other ramble on small weird facts about him that Yoongi surely didn't need to know, he could feel his mind calm down and the anxiousness inside of him dissolving to nothingness.

That was until Taehyung was done.

"Your turn."

Yoongi had no idea when Taehyung had stopped rambling, his head snapping towards the other. Oh. Right. He was supposed to hold a conversation yet he didn't even know a thing Taehyung had just told him.

He sighed, deciding that why not just go along as if he'd have listened. Taehyung wouldn't waste his life in Yoongi's company for that long anyway. Now that he thought about it, wasn't this usually the point from where on he'd be left alone?

"Min Yoongi. Rapper if you may call me one. I live with Namjoon. Nation's favorite boy to pick on." A depressed , he silently added in his mind as he took another sip of his coffee. "That's all," he clarified once he saw Taehyung's expectant look still on him.

"Ey, you really didn't give me anything I didn't already know. Come on, say anything."

Yoongi wondered if he had anything but self insulting words to say. "I'm a Pisces," he concluded. 

Taehyung hummed in interest. "I don't really know a lot about horoscopes and all the astronomy stuff but I still like to share my horoscope with people. Fascinating, right? How a human mind works," he wondered out loud and Yoongi just took another sip of his coffee. Taehyung, however, chose that exact time to clap his hands together, making him choke on his drink out of surprise. "Oh my god!" the younger exclaimed. "I'm sooo sorry! I didn't mean to startle you!" 

Taehyung patiently waited till his coughing calmed down before continuing with his chatting, He could've helped of course, but Yoongi figured helping someone like him would need an actual miracle instead of coffee stains on his jeans. 

"You know, I'm really glad you called. I was having a boring day and I thought I'd go crazy if I had nothing to do." Before Yoongi even had time to feel as used as always, Taehyung immediately waved his hand in the air, dismissing the thoughts he somehow knew he was having, "It's not just that. I just really wanted to meet with you again. I think you're a really cool guy, Min Yoongi. I'm a fan."

Yoongi almost choked again. He was sure his face was heating up with warmth, but that could be the lack of oxygen talking, following his coughing fit from earlier. He didn't have any reason to feel embarrassed, he didn't believe a word this guy was telling him anyway.

But how far could a lie go? He had already been there for him, given him food, water and an unnecessary apology. Could Taehyung really try to ruin his life? Then again, he couldn't find any explanation to argue against it. He was Min Yoongi after all, and no one liked Min Yoongi.

He looked up, inspecting the younger's face, seeing a bright, honest smile gracing on Taehyung's features. So honest, that he was actually tempted to smile back himself. But no matter how contagious it was, Yoongi really didn’t feel like he had the right to smile. He had no reason to.

“You know," Taehyung started absently, his eyes carefully on him, "It upsets me how low you think of yourself.”

Yoongi frowned, confused. He was upset about that? Why? Why the heck did that matter at all to anyone? It didn't make any goddamn sense.

“Nothing would change even if I wasn’t here.”

“See? You act like we’re not friends,” Taehyung noted with a frown of his own.

They were not, Yoongi immediately thought with a roll of his eyes, but when he opened his mouth to say exactly that, Taehyung shushed him. 

"We are friends, okay?" he told with conviction, "We've met, messed up, made up, I gave you my number and you called. In my books, that means we're the minimum of acquaintances. But I'd go even as far as claiming that after today, we'll be friends. And it really makes me sad how much you put yourself down. But it's okay, because from now on, I'll be here."

Yoongi was left speechless, and for once even his mind couldn't come up with a snarky remark.

_____

Yoongi should've known that Namjoon and Seokjin would still be there when he came back. It was like they had really become his babysitters now, oddly enough. Well, in Namjoon's defense, he actually did live there. And Seokjin... Well Seokjin almost lived there too, he supposed.

Today the two had taken over the couch and were watching a movie, tangled together side by side. 

"Oh, hey Yoongi," Seokjin greeted with a smile.

Yoongi cocked his head to the side, surprised he didn't sense any mockery behind that. What made him change his mind about them? Was it that weird kid's fault or was he just too tired to do nothing but submit to his fate?

"What you guys watching?" 

"Transporter."

Oh, well at least there goes all the romantic comedies. Yoongi almost asked if he could join, but he didn't want to intrude their space. They were polite enough to ask anyway. Or, well, Seokjin was, 

"Want to join?" 

"Nah."

Seokjin hummed, "There's some pizza in the kitchen if you're up for a bite."

"Thanks."

He had barely opened the pizza box and taken a bite out of it when Seokjin came bursting through the door, hands full of stuff he was taking back from the living room's table.

"The movie ended already?" 

"We paused. You know, to spare you from our couple coodies," Seokjin said with a laugh. "So, where did you go?"

"I went to get some coffee," he told in all honesty, pausing when he realized that he didn't have to lie about it for the first time in ages. He could've almost said he was out with a friend and this time it wouldn't be so far from the truth. Odd, Yoongi thought, puzzled. It made him feel odd.

"Oh hey, make sure you got the 3rd day free next month. Which is in... two weeks or so," Namjoon told him as he came in after his boyfriend and walked past him to the fridge. Yoongi lifted a brow at this, sharing a look with Seokjin, who seemed a bit awkward with this approach too. 

"The 3rd day?" 

"Yeah," Namjoon confirmed as he took a can of coke. "I got us a show around 11 a.m., so be prepared."

Yoongi froze, the slice of pizza sliding from his hold and dropping on top of the box with a loud thud, "You what?" 

"Uh... I got us a show?" Namjoon repeated, a bit baffled by the reaction of his friend. It was a lot less enthusiastic than he had expected. He thought Yoongi was craving for something to do, and there he was, giving him a chance to prove himself to the world again. 

But of course, the tiny little fact that the last show he had recorded got him ed up and without hope was a bit hard to remember when it wasn't him that went through that in a live broadcast. But you know, little things. Hard to remember with all the chaos it brought along. 

Yoongi smiled bitterly, "Yeah, how cool is that. One more chance to make a fool out of myself."

"Yoongi, please, I'm there too. I'm sure it's not that bad."

Yoongi was skeptical but said nothing. He took the piece of pizza and walked away to his room, barely missing the annoyed look and a slap that Seokjin gave on Namjoon's shoulder, clearly pissed at him. He sighed.

Well, it was time to put up one hell of a show again.