The room fell into a steady silence.

Yoongi was too astonished to form any words. He had seen hate before but the comments that poured in right after the filming started were just outright disgusting.

He could only sit there, completely still, while the cameras kept rolling, focusing solely on him. The production team was nervously holding their breaths as they waited for his reaction.

Yoongi knew they were expecting him to brush it off like it was nothing. He knew he was supposed to stay professional and just get on with the show but it was easier said than done. His mind was too stuck somewhere between disbelief and frustration and he just couldn’t figure out what to say.

He could hear the production team silently shuffling their feet behind the cameras. They were starting to get nervous when he showed no reaction but Yoongi couldn’t seem to force himself to feign one - he just blankly stared at nothing, face expressionless.

They were probably all thinking about how much he was wasting their time. The only few viewers they had probably thought the same. He was just wasting their time, he wasn’t worthy of their time.

He just wanted to leave. He knew what consequences just running away from there would bring but did it really matter at this point anymore? Who would care if he stayed professional?

They all thought he was a rude prick anyway and would love to get rid of him so that they could personally start to spread a word about how horrible he was. Everyone would just be relieved to get his face away from the screen.

So Min Yoongi used the card of being the little piece of they actually thought he was and bolted out of the scene. He knew he was insane to throw away a chance to work like this and leave the producers in trouble, but at that moment he really couldn’t get himself to care.

He was storming through the hallways just to get away and clear his head of all the stuff he had just read when a sudden burst of anger hit him. He almost wanted to start screaming right then and there.

Fortunately he came across a public bathroom and entered. The moment he could hear the door click shut, he let out a yell and kicked the wall as hard as he could. When he finally stopped hurting himself he was all out of breath but still agitated.

He let himself to sit down to catch his breath and buried his face in his hands before leaning back with a groan. The back of his head met the cooling surface of the wall’s tiles but it wasn’t enough to calm the burning shame the show had brought out of him.

Yes, Min Yoongi was ashamed. Of his unattractiveness, his behavior earlier, giving up on his job like that and just... his existence in general.

If people really hated him that much, and could only give him insults, there had to be something wrong with him.

That one particular comment he had read on the live feed five minutes into the show was gut-wrenching. It felt like it had shot through the barrier he had tried to keep up and hit straight at the core of his heart, burning it inside his head to haunt him forever.

He felt sick to his stomach and by what? Some stupid comment? He was so pathetic, wasn’t he?

Times like these really made him think why he was even bothering with all of this in the first place. He should’ve just stuck to some regular, boring job that got him nowhere. It really wouldn’t have made any difference in his life.

Annoyed, he kicked the door with a hiss of anger and fell silent again. There was really no one else to blame but himself.

After a good twenty minutes he finally picked himself up and headed home.

______

He was only a block away from the house he shared with his working partner, Namjoon, when he saw the other walking towards him. Yoongi sighed and opted turning around to hide out of his sight, but he was forced to stay put when the other lifted a hand to greet him.

Yoongi was just so tired. He was done. It had been enough for a day, it was time to just be and not care. He really didn’t have the energy to act according to Namjoon’s pretty little picture of them being friends when the younger couldn’t give a bat about what was going on in his life.

Yoongi wasn’t even sure if Namjoon was informed about his unprofessional behavior earlier that day. It would spread around like wildfire anyway so it shouldn’t be that hard to pick up.

He didn’t even know how the younger would react. Would he scold him? Scoff at him? Maybe try to be friendly instead of asking superficial questions and never prying past his one word answers?

“Hey,” Namjoon greeted with a smile when he finally reached his side. Clearly his schedules had went a lot better than Yoongi’s. “So, how did your schedule go?”

Yoongi let out a deep breath. He really didn’t know. Of course he didn’t, Namjoon was Namjoon. He had his own life and that did not include babysitting him when he had his own activities.

He probably wouldn’t even care that much about it. Even if Namjoon didn’t see it, Yoongi did.

They were colleagues, just working partners in the same business, two people that shared the stage when they had to give a performance. If Namjoon really thought they were friends, that would be a lie. Yoongi knew he wasn’t really trying his best to fix this problem but neither was Namjoon.

Wait, sorry, Namjoon was too busy to even notice they weren’t as close as they used to be back in the days.

They hardly spent time together anyway; Namjoon was always wherever while Yoongi barely even had one schedule to himself and he seemed to have ruined even those chances now.

But Yoongi couldn’t stay bitter about it. Namjoon was just that busy, he didn’t have time for Yoongi, and Yoongi just couldn’t stop screwing up.

“Fine,” Yoongi lied. He felt like it wasn’t even worth it to tell the truth. He didn’t want to ruin the other’s happy mood with his failure of a life.

“Great! Hey, I got this party I’m going to attend today. Are you okay staying at the dorm by yourself or…?”

These questions always amused Yoongi. What, would he actually stay and skip a high-rank party just because he’d ask him to? Unlikely. And who was Yoongi to tell him where to be anyway.

“Nah, I’m meeting some of my old friends today. Just go, Nams.”

Namjoon flashed him a thumbs up before rushing past him. Yoongi sighed and rubbed his temples.

If Namjoon would some time care enough to ask about his friends, he would be frank and say he was lying. The only friends he had were imaginary. But Namjoon never even asked, so it didn’t matter. Yoongi never blamed him for that: he wouldn’t care about someone like himself either.

When he finally got home, he immediately headed to bed and collapsed on it. He didn’t bother cooking even if his stomach grumbled in protest. Yoongi was just too tired of this all to even think about eating.

Yoongi wasn’t worth food anyway.

----

I swear I almost made Yoongi hear voices inside his head. But then I was like nope, not gonna go down that path this time. Let’s try doing some normal angst for a change haha.

I'm sorry that it's quite short but still, thanks for reading and subscribing! I appreciate it y'all.