Namjoon was quite lost.

If there was one thing he really hated, it was being thrown into a confusing situation. And right now, having just arrived to the backstage again and immediately getting his personal space invaded by some nosy kid, was such situation.

Personally, he had nothing against Kim Taehyung. He seemed like a nice, bright kid, really, but he was bothered by his pestering. No one had ever approached him just to inquire about Yoongi's well-being but Taehyung had done just that for two days in a row now. It made him puzzled.

"I'll be there for him", "I'm sorry for hearing such things" and "please tell him so", Namjoon had heard all that already.

What he didn't understand was, why was Taehyung so adamant about telling those things to Yoongi? And couldn't he just wait till he'd meet him personally instead of taking away the precious time he wanted to spend with someone more important to him?  

Namjoon sighed as he rubbed his temples. Why? Why him? Why did Taehyung need to come to him? Why not Yoongi? It was way too early for something like this and he really had to go.

"Look, I'm sorry to cut you off, but I have no idea what you're rambling about, and Yoongi doesn't even know who you are," Namjoon said.

Taehyung stopped mid sentence and gave him a look, "Well... Yeah, we kind of established that we don't know each other yesterday, but that's not what's important. Did you pass on my message to him?"

Oh. A twinge of guilt poked Namjoon's conscience but he shrugged it off. Yoongi said himself that he didn't know this guy, so why was it so important? And why was he even so invested in his friend if they had never even met in the first place? Taehyung probably wouldn't even find out if he was dishonest with him.

A little white lie wouldn't harm anyone, right? Namjoon just really didn't want to be the bad guy here, "Yeah, but he didn't seem to understand what you were talking about."

"Really?" Taehyung asked with a raise of his brows. Namjoon could hear the doubt in his voice but all Taehyung gave him was a sigh, "Look, I just want to know if he's okay."

"And why wouldn't he be?" Namjoon asked, irritated. He didn't mean to snap at someone he didn't really know but time was ticking and he was late. He really needed to get going. "I seriously don't have any idea what you're talking about."

Taehyung looked at him, puzzled, "Haven't you watched any of his broadcasts? Haven't you heard any of the stuff going around?"

"No, and I don't have time for this. So, if you'll excuse me," Namjoon said as he bowed his head and tried to walk away. But Taehyung was relentless. He grabbed him by the arm, forcing him to stumble backwards.

"You really... don't know?" he asked. Namjoon was surprised by the sudden seriousness in the other's eyes, but the even bigger disbelief he saw on his face was the thing that made him stop.

Again, he really didn't want to be the bad guy here, yet somehow he felt like he already was. He was so confused and it made him so angry. Was there really a legit reason for all this concern?

"I really don't know what you're trying to imply," he said and he swore he saw a storm of emotions going wild behind Taehyung's eyes.

Needless to be said, the younger felt scandalized.

"Are you... Are you even friends with him? How can you not know? It's not like it's a big secret."

By now, Namjoon had reached his limit. What right did Taehyung have to get upset with him when he was the one that made no sense at all? It didn't matter who heard or saw him now, he just wanted to end this, "Know what? What? JUST TELL ME GODDAMMIT!"

Taehyung opened his mouth to reply when he heard his name being called from the distance. He knew he didn't have the time to suddenly explain anything. "I... I have to go now," he said. "You should really... just... just watch anything about him, really. Then you'll know." He flashed him a small smile before running off to do his things.

Namjoon stood still, shaking with the burning frustration inside of him. He hated this. He really, really, really hated this. He hated not knowing, he hated being confused. He just hated it. He couldn't stand it at all.

So with deep breaths and shaking hands, he took out his phone and typed the words 'Min Yoongi' in the search bar and clicked on the first clip available. It appeared to be the latest live show he had been on and Namjoon didn't find anything odd before he saw the comments.

He could feel his grip on the phone painfully tightening as his eyes skimmed through the letters. He couldn't even get past the first 12 comments before forcing himself to stop. The rage inside of him doubled as he turned around and marched back to the apartment they lived in.

Maybe he was about to take it all on someone that didn't need such things piled up to his big plate of but at that moment he didn't bother thinking about the details. He was so infuriated.

So he took off without a word, forgetting all about his plans.

_____

Yoongi was bored. He was laying on his his bed, legs up against the wall, trying to pass the hard level on the game he had been playing a lot lately. Even if he didn't really enjoy the game, it was better than doing nothing.

Heck, might as well try to become the best player of it while at it, he thought to himself. He sure had the time and maybe he'd finally succeed in something in his life. It was something he could be proud of, right?

He flinched when he heard Namjoon entering the apartment with a loud slam of the door. He had expected him to return way later than he did and it made him slightly curious. Why did he come back so early? Hadn't he just left like an hour ago? But it was none of his business. Namjoon had a life and he let him live it.

He was about to focus on his new life goal again when he heard loud, angry steps coming towards his room. He lifted his head right in time to see Namjoon forcefully opening the door and glaring at him.

He was fuming with rage and Yoongi wasn’t quite sure how to react. He sat up properly, waiting for anything to happen. Was he supposed to comfort him somehow now? He seriously thought Namjoon was just having a really bad day.

With hardened eyes and lips formed to a tight line, Namjoon marched across the room and hauled him up by the collar of his shirt.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he growled.

Yoongi, after getting over the initial shock of Namjoon getting physical with him, fought to free himself but Namjoon only took a stronger hold of his collar, pulling him even closer. Yoongi glared at him, anger starting to stir inside of him. He had no idea what was going on but he was not going to be treated like some rag doll.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Tell you what?" Yoongi barked back.

Namjoon removed one hand and took out his phone to show the paused video of Yoongi’s live broadcast. "This. Why didn't you tell me?"

Yoongi looked at the screen, weary. His eyes turned empty as he saw what it was and the air around him suddenly changed, making him lose the ability to breathe for a second. Namjoon shivered when he looked at his dead eyes, but he was far too pissed to stop.

"And what?" Yoongi asked. "What would you have done even if you knew? You got to be joking, Nams. You can't seriously believe you could have done something."

"You should have told me anyway," Namjoon cried, his hold loosening. "If you had just told me, I wouldn't seem as big of a douche I do now."

Yoongi scoffed at his answer and finally freed himself from his hold, "Yeah, well, what can you do? It's not like you knowing would've changed anything. What, are you saying you'd go back in time and fix everything?"

Namjoon groaned, "Yoongi, you should have told me something like this, we're frien-"

"Are you ing stupid or something? WE ARE NOT FRIENDS! How can you still not see that?"

Namjoon frowned at his statement, shocked. He couldn't believe Yoongi would say something like that to him, they had known for years now. And he was the one that gave him this opportunity in the first place! How was any of this fair?

His rage disappeared into thin air as the hurt took over, leaving him lethargic. Suddenly he couldn’t even bare seeing Yoongi in his sight for now. Maybe not for a while, either. He just wanted to be left alone, to get away. He should probably crash over someone's place for the night if not for longer.

"You're ing selfish, you know that?" he said with a beaten tone as he turned to leave.

"Yes, I'm selfish and a terrible excuse of a human being, I'm aware of that!" Yoongi yelled after his back.

Tears streamed down his face even before Namjoon could get out of the room but he made no move to reach out for him. Namjoon wanted to leave, so he was allowed to. But the moment he heard the front door being closed, Yoongi let out a yell and dropped on his knees, crying. Namjoon left. He left. He found out and he left, he hated him and Yoongi couldn't even try to stop him.

He more than deserved to be left alone. He was so useless and he messed up everything so much that no one could stand him. But out of all the people he had ever been acquainted with, he didn't want Namjoon to be one of those that hated him. But it was sort if unavoidable, was it not? 

Yoongi knew he had hurt him. He knew that even before he let those words escape his lips but when he was angry, he got really angry. 

But who was he trying to kid here, Namjoon deserved to know what was going on. He deserved to make the decisions concerning his life and who he was around with. Yoongi would let him leave if he really wanted to. He wouldn’t stop him.

He just wished Namjoon wouldn't completely disappear from his life now.

----

Wow I update so seldomly. I feel so sorry for that. But at least I'm working on this instead of leaving it for months so yay! 

And eyyyy, I might graduate after all. I swear I'll cry tears of joy if I do and if I won't, I think I'll just give up on life and live as a bum that goes through the trash cans near McDonalds. I've worked so hard for this, more mentally than anything else and it's been challenging. I deserve it right? 

Anyway.... Thank you for reading! ^3^ I hope you enjoyed it and see you next time!