Zico POV

      After a few minutes, I woke up to a loud banging noise that reverberated through the small bathroom we had. It was Taeil-hyung. Hurriedly, I turned off the now cold water to hear what he was saying.

      "Jiho-ah, are you done yet? You know that you can't take a long shower without the water turning cold. Anyways, come join us for lunch. I made kimchi jiggae, which happens to be your favorite if I recall correctly. Hurry, before the food becomes  cold!" he said loudly and walked away. Now I was faced with the problem of the cuts lining up my arm. The bleeding began to stop, but it would still garner attention from the others. After rummaging through the mirror cabinet, I luckily found some bandages to wrap around my right arm. Running to my room, I found a long sleeved shirt. This should suffice, I thought happily. 

      I sat down gingerly at the dining table. Everyone was already in deep conversation about what the most important aspect of kimchi jiggae was. Kyung stated in a matter-of-factly manner that of course, kimchi, had to be the most important. Then Jaehyo butted in, claiming that using that logic, the broth made the jiggae, thus it was, in fact, the broth  that was the most important. Not noticing how hungry I was, I gulped down my food while they were constantly bickering. I think kimchi was winning the fight. Of course, out of all the things to worry about during this time, they chose to argue over food. But I felt a bit better knowing that they weren't blaming themselves and turned back to their playful personalities. I don't deserve to do that, though, I thought bitterly.  I only deserve pain. I couldn't stop thinking about the people I've hurt, but most of all, I hurt Nichkhun sunbae. A fellow Thai artist. I hurt someone in Korea and in the same industry as I. I caused someone I knew pain. The words I said that day came back to haunt me.

      I abruptly got up from my seat with my plate and walked to the kitchen to wash it, causing their bickering to stop. They stared at me for a while, probably wondering whether I was in a bad mood. After washing my plate, I softened my expression and wanted to tell them I would rest. However, I heard my phone ring and there was only one person who would call.

      It was our manager. Immediately, our faces darkened, wondering what could be his reasons. I picked up the phone and placed it on speaker phone.

      "Jiho, put this on speaker phone. Everyone needs to hear this."

      "It is, manager-nim," I replied.

      "Alright. You guys, over the past few days, you have been through a lot, especially Jihoon. I'm not going to scold you guys anymore because I know that you have learned your lessons. The good thing is that after your apologies and news of Jihoon's hospitalization, the fans have calmed down a bit. Since you guys are on a short hiatus, I want you to take the opportunity to relax. Now, on a normal basis, I would never offer this to anybody....I repeat anybody. But, I am willing to take you guys on a short camping trip to let you guys relax. Before I change my mind, what do you think everyone?" I had no time to reply because everyone else immediately began excitedly shouting at once, screaming a mix of yes!, of course!, and thank you's. I smiled.

      "Okay, okay everyone. We'll go right in the morning tomorrow. Be early, pack everything you need, otherwise I could change my..." Our manager's words were drowned out by the loud cheering and I could almost hear him rolling his eyes. Tomorrow will be better for everyone, including me, I thought. I shouldn't be so depressed, right?

      Of course, I'm a hypocrite, so the first thing I look for when I shop for my necessities are for a pack of razors. Kyung, who was paired up with me, shot me a weird look.

      "Since when do you shave so much?" he asked. I sighed and came up with a quick lie.

      "Kyung-ah, I would like to let you know that I have never been a fan of morning stubble and that as I am a kind man, I am buying this to share with everyone else," I cleanly lied. Kyung smirked but didn't prod any further.

      "Alright, alright, Mr. Kindness and Sunshine. I'm glad your finally starting to worry for our wellbeing," he smartly replied and walked ahead to pick up some bug spray. I stopped in my tracks. Did I not care for them enough before? Like in Thailand, was I careless? Did I cause their misfortune? Before I could question myself anymore, Kyung shoved two bug sprays in front of my eyes, asking me to choose. Looks like I would have to wallow in misery later.

      After yet another night of a disturbed sleep, my alarm woke me up,blaring as loud as it could get. My hands reached out to my phone and turned it off, hoping to doze off for a few minutes. But it was already 8:00 AM and the other members could be heard shuffling about in the kitchen. I better get out of bed before manager-nim scolds me, I thought. It'll be yet again that I let them down. I double checked whether I had all the necessities in my bag and began to get ready.

      Once in the car, everyone began chatting with each other and blasted music. Our manager didn't mind and even sang along. I chose, however, to sit in the back corner of the van and plug my ears, stating that I didn't sleep well. I got maybe one or two glances, either out of worry or bitterness for not joining in on the fun, but in the end I was left alone. I secretly pulled out my phone from my pocket and scrolled through my instagram, looking for any more mean, spiteful comments. 

      Go and die. You're worthless, you 7,000 won artist.

      Piece of trash. I hope Nichkhun gets his revenge on you.

      Nichkhun oppa, don't worry, we'll get rid of this garbage person before he opens his mouth again.

      Haha, that apology was so fake.

      Shaving your head doesn't mean anything. You're just showing off how supposedly humble you are. The only thing you are good at is hurting people.

      Hurt yourself before you hurt others, bastard.

      Everyone hates you now, piece of trash.

      I quickly shut off my phone and pulled my hood over my face, concealing the tears forming in my eyes and resisting the urge to scratch my arms. It's nonsense anyways. I'm not that bad,right? I thought before falling into much needed sleep.

     We arrived to the large camping area nearby and it was relatively empty because it was still spring. Large trees with cherry blossoms surrounded the area and the grass was starting to grow healthily. White clouds dotted the ever blue sky and the sun shone bright