[The title is a pun, it's misspelt on purpose, ples don't hurt meh]

Hoseok shakes his head and leans over to conspire with Namjoon (who’s currently stuffing his face with cheesy fries)

‘There’s no way Jungkook is gonna buy this...he’s gonna realise he’s putting weight on!’ He hissed, eyes narrowing, before glancing over to the guy in question who was stuffing his face with one of Yoongi’s Kalteen bars.

‘Mmmhfgmm’ Namjoon responded as he chewed a particularly large mouthful of fries and gestured bizarrely.

‘Ew.’ Hoseok said, scrunching his nose up and glaring at the almost empty offending bowl on the cafeteria table.

‘What I meant to say-‘ Namjoon started after swallowing quickly ‘-is that I have a plan!’

‘Of course you do.’ Hoseok rolled his eyes and crossed his arms.

‘No, for real! I know of this trick where you can rig a pair of scales to always read the same amount, he won’t ever realise he’s getting heavier!’ Hoseok’s jaw dropped slightly.

‘I never thought I’d say this but...Namjoon you’re a genius!’ Hoseok said excitedly hitting the table.

‘Well what can I say?’ Namjoon shrugged brushing imaginary dust off his shoulders.

(())

It was Friday. The plastics designated day of the week for hanging out at Jungkook’s mansion drinking gross cocktails, discussing outfits and boys. In other words, the designated day of the week for Yoongi to curse the Gods, daydream secretly over Jimin and continue to not give a about his outfit. But this week was different. Yoongi had a mission this time.

It seemed like he always had a mission or a stupid challenge to be doing these days but that’s beside the point.

This time Yoongi found himself excusing himself to use Jungkooks ridiculously large en suite. In no time he had slipped away from the others and was staring in awe at how big Jungkook’s bathroom was, like seriously, 3 of his own room could probably fit inside the bathtub alone. He snapped out of staring at all the shiny surfaces and set to hunting for the weighing scales, luckily they weren’t too hard to find, they were Jungkook’s second baby (right after his rat dog).

Yoongi produced the screwdriver form his pocket (boy, had it been uncomfortable) and continued to bust the scales open like some ing ‘hacker-man ninja’. Okay, maybe more like some ‘handy-man minor repairs dude’. But either way, he bust open that plastic casing like a boss and set to tying thin strips of floss to the mechanism inside, making sure the little dial stayed at a permanent weight.

He grinned happily when it actually worked (Thank you Namjoon) But Yoongi’s bubble of happy treachery was suddenly popped by a banging on the bathroom door.

‘Yoongi?’ Jungkook called, tapping his foot impatiently and (probably) crossing his arms, on the other side.

‘One minute!’ Yoongi yelped as he quickly tried to screw the plastic back together (why are screws so ing tiny?)

‘When you get out I’m going to pluck your eyebrows and Jin wants to cut your hair.’ Yoongi winced and fought the urge to groan at Jungkook’s request (demand)

‘Oh! And Tae wants to put make-up on you’ Yoongi almost dropped the scales at that but regained his grip, tightening the last screw back into it’s place and placing them back in their designated spot by the full length wall mirror.

‘Hurry up!’ Jungkook called again, banging more on the door as Yoongi leapt across the room to pull the door open.

‘Let’s do it!’ He yelped breathlessly as Jungkook grabbed his arm, grinning, and dragged him back into the bedroom.

(())

Ahh. Christmas time. Finally.

The school had begun to pick up on some of the festive spirit, the halls being decorated with bits of tinsel and paper snowflakes, a scraggly old plastic tree in every corridor, lit with blinking lights. Yoongi wasn’t afraid to admit that he loved Christmas, almost as much as he loved seeing Jimin in ugly knitted sweaters and bobble hats. He embraced the spirit himself, also donning a dark blue knitted jumper with snowflakes dotted across it. For once in his life Yoongi was actually feeling less grumpy, maybe it was the giving and loving feeling of Christmas... or maybe it was the fact Jimin liked his jumper and called it cute, either way.

‘We have to crack Jin.’ Hoseok said, slipping into the queue behind Namjoon and Yoongi as they waited in line to send ‘candy-by-card’ to their classmates. (Yoongi had no idea what was happening, why the was everyone sending candy by mail in school? Oh well, he likes sweets as much as the next guy so he ain’t gonna be complaining if he gets some for free)

‘He’s the keeper of all the plastics secrets! If we get Jin to crack, we’ll have cracked the lock on Jungkook’s secrets!’

‘Say crack again.’ Namjoon teased whilst Hoseok stuck his tongue out.

‘Crack. Let’s meet up tonight to plan-‘

‘I can’t-‘ Yoongi cut in, bitterly. ‘I have to go to Jungkook’s to practise for the Christmas talent show. We’re doing a dance to-‘ Queue big sigh ‘Jingle bell rock’

‘Sweet mother of God! You’re doing Jingle bell rock?’ Hoseok started to say sympathetically whilst Namjoon tried to stop giggling.

Just as Yoongi was about to elbow Namjoon to shut him up, a certain diva caught his attention.

‘Uh, oh, Jungkook at 2 o clock, scatter!’ He hissed, shooing the two out of the queue and off down the corridor just in time to face the in question.

‘Oh he-‘

‘Why were you taking to Jung Hoseok?’ Jungkook asked immediately, cocking a hip and tilting his pretty little head.

‘He’s so weird, he er, just came up to me? Just started talking about crack-‘

Stupid. You’re so stupid Yoongi.

Jungkook didn’t question his lame- excuse though.

‘Ugh, he’s so pathetic. Let me tell you something about Jung Hoseok.’ Jungkook started to whisper, leaning into Yoongi’s ear. ‘I used to be best friends with him at primary school. Gross right? It’s sooo embarrassing...’

Much to Yoongi’s shock and horror Jungkook then launched into an entire historically accurate monologue on the pairs friendship and Hoseoks apparent obsession with him, whilst the candy queue barely moved a step ahead of them.

‘-so I was all like, ew, why are you so obsessed with me! Then he went off, got a haircut and a decent brand of lipgloss, and went all wierd. I’m fairly certain he does heroin now.’ Jungkook concluded matter of factly, running a hand through his purposefully tousled hair. Yoongi just nodded, still in a zoned out state whislt he absorbed all this totally bizarre information, that was slowly making more sense.

‘Are you sending any candy canes?’ Yoongi asked, an idea suddenly sparking in his head.

‘I don’t send them. I just get them.’ Jungkook laughed, pulling out his (horrifingly sparkley) mobile and turning to leave. ‘You better send me one though, ’ He winked before strutting off down the hall, hips swaying like it was a catwalk, not a corridor.

Oh I’ll send him one alright. I’ll get 3 candy canes and break Seokjin in the process.

​A/N So sorry for not updating last week! (It was my birthday) But now i'm back, i'm sorry if this fic is getting progressively tier, i will try harder, i promise!! And who else DIED BECAUSE OF THE COMEBACK OMG the album is so beautful, I cry. Anyway, have a good day and thank you for reading!! X