Y’know before Yoongi and his family made the decision to settle down, Yoongi thought he was quite a mundane and mentally stable human being. However, since moving he had had more fan boy attacks than he can count and more heartaches than he wishes to even think about. It was quite frankly embarrassing but people do say that love does strange things to you.

But now Yoongi found himself having a pretty tough time. Even tougher than before because Jungkook had, well, done the unspeakable.

Yoongi pretended everything was chill though as he approached his usual table where Jungkook had invited Jimin to sit with them for once.

‘You should wear your hair pushed back, you look way ier!’ Jungkook was purring as he pushed back Jimin’s dark bangs. Jimin scrunched his face in discomfort as Jungkook kept touching him whilst he attempted to eat his lunch.

‘Tell him Yoongi. Tell him he looks ier with his hair pushed back!’ Jungkook smiled (fakely) as Yoongi dropped down into a seat opposite, dropping his plastic tray next to Jin’s.

‘You should wear your hair back, you look ier.’ Yoongi said monotonously and without looking up as he tucked into his sandwich. Jungkook smirked in satisfactory at the disgruntled Yoongi who now sat stabbing at his salad (entirely missing the shy and blushing Jimin opposite)

The thing is, Yoongi knew deep down that Jungkook would do this. He’d known all along, he just kinda wanted to pretend that it wouldn’t happen. He wished he hadn’t ever agreed to sitting with the plastics.

Stupid Hoseok and his need for drama.

‘-and Jungkook wanted me to tell you that he was trying to hook you up with Jimin but Jimin was being all pathetic and desperate to get back with him and well that’s really not Jungkook’s fault-‘ Jin stood by Yoongi’s open locker spouting nonsense as he flicked his glossy hair and made excuses.

‘No, I know.’ Yoongi said through gritted teeth whilst he attempted to shove an entire stack of books into the tiny metal locker.

‘So you’re not mad?’ Jin frowned, cocking an eyebrow.

‘Oh my God, no.’ Yoongi muttered, the sarcasm flying over Jin’s pretty little head.

‘Good! Now Jungkook wanted me to give you this-‘ And before Yoongi could react, Jin was wrapping his arms around Yoongi’s shoulders and hugging him like there was no tomorrow.

Gross.

(())

Despite the recent developments that seemingly happened between Jimin and Jungkook it didn’t stop the way Yoongi lit up every time he saw Jimin’s face. He just couldn’t control the way his insides became all squishy and his heart just melted when Jimin offered him an eye crinkling smile. Yoongi leant forward in his seat, a common occurrence these days, as Jimin leant back in his. Yoongi felt overwhelmed for a moment at the orange scent that washed over him, why the did Jimin smell so nice? Like citrus and angel dust. Yoongi didn’t know that was even a fragrance.

‘I don’t get this...’ Yoongi murmured as he showed Jimin his blank work sheet. Jimin sighed and took the sheet, grinning at Yoongi and explaining the mathematical process that Yoongi didn’t care about.

Yoongi nodded along anyway though, head in his hand again, eyes morphing into hearts as Jimin neatly showed all the working out on his sheet.

‘You got it now?’ Jimin asked, sliding the sheet back across Yoongi’s desk.

‘I think so...but just in case... tellmethewholethingagainiwasntlistening.’

And Jimin could only smile.

(())

Yoongi arrived home unhappily. The previous glow from his maths class and seeing Jimin having now faded away, instead, replaced with the strong desire to mope about. In fact, it was so bad, Yoongi didn’t even react with the evil felines Mina and Jisu attached themselves to his legs with their ice climbing claws. In fact, it was so bad, he didn’t even get mad when Minjun came thundering down the stairs and jumped onto his back, tugging at his jacket and practically strangling with his own t-shirt. The part teen, part evil cats, part tiny child, came stumbling in to the living room and tossed himself (and everyone attached) onto the sofa in a horrible mangled mess of clothes and claws.

‘Muuuuum’ Yoongi groaned as Minjun wiggled out from under him and ran away screaming with the two cats in tow.

‘What honey?’ Mrs Min said from the other sofa as she furiously typed away at her laptop.

‘Why do cute people like stupid mean es that wear too much lip gloss?’ He groaned, burying his face in the sofa cushions.

‘I don’t know, why?’ Mrs Min asked, typing increasing in pace (if that’s even possible)

‘Huh?’ Yoongi muttered, sitting up.

‘Oh sorry! I thought you were telling a joke!’ Mrs Min giggled, not even looking at her beloved son.

‘Aish! What are you even doing anyway?’Yoongi grumbled, crossing his arms unhappily.

‘I'm...writing...’

‘For work?’

‘Uh, sure! For work, now scram! Invite Joonie and Hobi-buns over or something-‘

‘Ugh, please stop calling them that...’ Yoongi groaned again but took out his mobile and texted them anyway.

‘Why aren’t you as sweet and cute as your friends Yoongi, you’re gonna be a grumpy grandpa before you’re even 20-‘Mrs Min finally looked up to give her son a pointed look ‘Even Minjun is sweeter than you and that child’s got something wrong with him’

‘What kind of mother are you?’ Yoongi asked eyes wide in mild horror and admiration.

‘A great one, now leave, I’m a very busy woman!’ Mrs Min declared chucking a sofa cushion at the back of her now retreating son.

She loves him really. Honest.

It took approximately 7 minutes from when Yoongi sent a text to Namjoon and Hoseok before they were turning up on his doorstep, arms full of crisps and eyes glittering with excitement.

‘Sleep over!!’ Hoseok sang as he pushed past Yoongi into his own house.

‘Ugh, this was a bad idea’ Yoongi groaned face palming.

‘You’re right...’ Namjoon laughed, patting Yoongi on the shoulder before following after Hoseok who was excitedly greeting Mrs Min.

‘-Boys it’s a school night, so I'm not sure a slee-‘

‘Goodnight Mrs Min!’ Hoseok squealed, kissing her cheek before dragging the other two upstairs.

‘But... it’s only 5 o clock?’ Mrs Min mumbled having been abandoned in the hallway, she shrugged and went back to her writing.

‘Kalteen Bars.’ Hoseok said the minute Yoongi’s door closed and the boys settled on his messy bed.

‘Huh?’

‘Kalteen bars-‘ Namjoon started ‘-are Swedish nutrition bars that make you gain weight.’ The pair stared at Yoongi in anticipation.

‘Right’ Yoongi nodded ‘....and?’ he continued, flicking between the two, feeling a little unsafe under the intimidating gazes.

‘Yoongi, it’s time to put our plan into action.’

(())

Yoongi carefully unwrapped a single Kalteen bar, the yellow plastic crinkling loudly as he grimaced and slowly leant in for a bite.

‘What’s that?’

Phew. As if on queue Jungkook’s curiosity got the better of him and Yoongi was saved.

‘Oh! It’s just this Swedish nutritional bar my mum uses to lose weight!’ Yoongi attempted to chirp out happily, waving the bar around and nearly dropping it on Taehyungs fluffy jumper.

‘Give it to me!’ Jungkook gasped, reaching out and grabbing the bar from Yoongi’s hand, taking a huge bite.

‘It’s all in Swedish?’ Jungkook mumbled around the mouth full of food as he scanned the ugly packaging.

‘Yeah... but they’re high in protein! They have some like, thing, in them that’s not even legal outside of Sweden and they make you lose weight like cra-‘

‘I want to lose 3 pounds.’ Jungkook cut him off, taking another bite and chewing furiously.

Yoongi cringed at the speed Jungkook ate the first bar, asking desperately for a second that Yoongi reluctantly gave him.

Looks like the plan was gonna work a treat.