[CONTENTID1]Of pain and misery[/CONTENTID1]

[CONTENTID2]“We still couldn’t find him.” Seungcheol exhaled in defeat when the private investigator told him that. The company had stopped searching for Jihoon and put the producer’s status in Seventeen as a hiatus because of family matters. The fans had asking them about Jihoon every time and everywhere they could ask. The members just repeatedly said the same thing, ‘Woozi will return after his family matters solved’. Some of the fans were tired of that answer and left the fandom. Some stayed and gave supports to Jihoon and the rest. There are tiny group of fans did some speculations regarding this matter and they stood by in the different opinions and sides. Somehow, Seventeen’s fandom became a quite mess since the details of Woozi’s hiatus was on the media.

Their comeback also kept delaying because Seungcheol was firm with his decision to wait for Jihoon to return and the other members were agreeing with him thus their boss couldn’t do anything. Their boss left the job of finding Jihoon to the boys because he gave up already when the shareholders kept pressuring him to just kick out Jihoon from the group for being irresponsible and also sued the guy and then continued Seventeen as twelve members. The CEO knew his boys won’t accept that idea so he told Seungcheol and the rest to find Jihoon within six months. If he’s not found after that, he had to let go Seventeen to disband because of their reluctance to become twelve according to the shareholders’ request.

Seungcheol was desperate. It had been five months passed since the CEO told him and the members to find the vocal team leader. They just left with one month and everybody was anxious with the limited time they had. They had tried every possible ways to find Jihoon discreetly and under the water. They wanted to search for Jihoon openly but they knew they can’t let other people to know about the truth that Jihoon was missing.

“Please don’t stop searching for him. One month, we only have one month to bring him back.” Seungcheol said, almost begging to the investigator.

“We will try our best. I will be in contact again in a week.” Seungcheol nodded.

“Please find him.” The male nodded and left. Seungcheol exhaled and leaned to the seat. He looked outside the window, somehow the faint figure of himself reflected on the glass. Seungcheol sighed as he looked at himself.

Messy. One word to describe. His hair had been a bit longer than usual. Dropping eyes and definite eye bags from lack of sleep and crying. It might look worse if Jeonghan didn’t apply makeup on his face when he went out just now. He didn’t care of his appearance anymore when his mind was full of finding Jihoon within a month. His career, Jihoon’s and the rest of the members were depending on him right now. Even though s kept saying okay if they couldn’t find Jihoon within the time, he knew everyone was anxious and afraid of their future. As their leader, Seungcheol couldn’t crush s’ only dream and life like this. He was determined to find Jihoon, not just for s’ sake, also for himself. He missed his life light a lot. Jihoon shone his life all this while and now he was so lost in the dark without the other.

Seungcheol startled when his phone rang. He picked it up when he saw the caller ID. “What’s it, Minghao?”

“Hyung, Soonyoung hyung got a call from one of Jihoon’s classmates. She said she saw someone like Jihoon in Busan. But-”

“Why, Minghao?”

“The one she saw had a really long hair and wear baggy shirt. Like a woman. But she is certain that is Jihoon hyung from the way of walking and the height. So she decided to call Soonyoung hyung just now.”

“He might be in disguise to go out and avoid people recognize him. Let me know the place in Busan, I will go down myself.”

“But hyung, you should go with someone, Jeonghan hyung said.” Seungcheol put the bill on the table and left the café.

“I will go alone. Just text me the address, I’m heading to the train station.” Seungcheol said and ended the call even before Minghao could say anything. Seungcheol gripped his phone and walked in rushing steps.

‘Please…please be there.’

“Jihoon hyung! You’re out without us again!” Jihoon chuckled as he heard the commotion when he opened the door. He walked to the source of voices in the living room. Bin was standing, watching at his direction worriedly. Jihoon flashed a smile.

“I’m fine, Bin. I just went for groceries.”

“You should take one of them with you, son.” Jihoon turned to the couch. The five elders were there. Jihoon bowed slightly and smiled.

“I’m fine, Jinseok ajusshi. It’s not a trouble yet.” Jihoon said as he rubbed his tummy lovingly. He’s already in his sixth month, near to seventh in a week. He was thankful that nothing bad happened along the time ran passing him.  His child is healthy and well-behaved. He didn’t have any compilation until this moment, he’s lucky based on his doctor’s words. He was thankful to God. Only now his movement was a bit slowed down because of the big belly. And yet that’s why everybody was so anxious and worried about him.

“But Jinseok oppa is true. Who knows something will happen if you go out alone?” The elder woman who is the youngest one, Hana said. The twins nodded.

“Yeah, we’re agreed with Hana.”

“It’s fine, Hana ajumma, Yunseok ajusshi. And Yuna ajumma, I got your favourite chocolate.” The younger twin raised her brow.

“Are you being serious, Jihoonie? We’re all worried about you and you’re bringing me snack?” Jihoon laughed.

“I take that as a thank you.”

“Lee Jihoon!” The said guy just laughed and placed a plastic bag on the coffee table and waddled his way to the kitchen. Bin sighed and followed his favourite hyung while the elders just shook their head to see the stubborn pregnant male. The elder Yuna already reached to get her chocolate. The eldest Jinseok shook his head.

“You and your snack.” The elder Yuna gave a glare at her brother.

“Shut up.” That made everybody chuckled. Eunwoo walked to the kitchen, wanted to check up on his boyfriend and Jihoon.

“Hyung, can you stop making all of us worry?” Bin stood beside Jihoon who busied taking out stuffs from the plastic bags. “You’re carrying heavy stuffs too.”

“It’s just a little. You need to stop worrying so much for me, the rest of you too. I’m still fine.” Jihoon casually said. “And I don’t think Eunwoo appreciate you concerning me too much and neglecting him.”

“In your case hyung, I don’t think I need to get mad. You’re pregnant for god’s sake so don’t suddenly disappear from the house.” Eunwoo stepped into the kitchen. Bin nodded and crossed his arms.

“See, Eunwoo hyung is agreeing with me.” Jihoon looked at them and rolled his eyes.

“There’s no one will be siding with me. What a sad lonely life.” Jihoon faked a hurt face. The young couple rolled their eyes.

“Because you’re doing things you’re not supposed to do, Jihoonie.” Jihoon turned and saw the lady Shim.

“Not you too, ajumma.”

“What, I’m only siding with the right side.” Jihoon pouted.

“Fine, everybody doesn’t love me.” Jihoon turned back, sulking. The couple raised their brow while the lady Shim chuckled.

“Gosh, Jihoonie. Everybody loves you that’s why they are worrying and forbade you going out alone.” The lady Shim said and took Jihoon’s hand to stop him from organizing the stuff. “Go to rest I will take care of this.”

“But I’m planning to cook for dinner.”

“Naah, don’t do it for today. I don’t want to hear anymore nagging from Uncle Jinseok for not watching you closely. You can cook for tomorrow lunch.” The lady Shim swatted her hands to get Jihoon moved from there. Eunwoo and Bin helped by taking Jihoon away. Jihoon protested but he couldn’t fight with the stronger couple when he had a limited movement with his belly. The pregnant male sighed in defeat.

“Fine, I will cook for lunch tomorrow and no one could stop that.”

“Arasseo. Just go to rest already!” The lady Shim said. Eunwoo and Bin just chuckled when they saw Jihoon’s pouting lips. The elders also smiled as the three passed them to Jihoon’s room.

“I can walk you know.” Jihoon said when they arrived at the door.

“We’re just to make sure you won’t go anywhere else but bed.” Jihoon pouted even longer to Eunwoo’s words.

“Gosh. I regretted my life here.”

“Aww, I know you love us.” Bin said. Jihoon sat on the bed glaring at the two. The couple just smiled and patted Jihoon’s shoulder. “Take some nap, okay hyung? When the dinner is ready, we will call you out.”

“Fine.” Jihoon lied on the bed, sulking. The couple just smiled knowing Jihoon isn’t mad for real. They left the room afterward. Jihoon looked at the door and then sat up on the bed again, leaning against the bed head. He stared to the window; it was the vast yard’s view. Jihoon smiled mildly. His hand unconsciously reached for his tummy.

“Mummy felt happy, baby. Mummy received so much love and mummy is sure you feel that too.” Jihoon turned down to his belly. His eyes watered when a familiar face entered his mind. He wiped his fallen tears quickly. “Sorry, baby. Mummy shouldn’t cry right? Mummy is sorry.” Jihoon hugged his belly lightly and turned to the window again. His mind flied away, to a certain male named Choi Seungcheol, his child’s father.

The months passed since he stayed here, he is happy with the loves he received from the house’s occupants and also his child’s great health. He couldn’t ask for more, he is happy, yes, but at times he couldn’t help himself from missing his other half. He missed Seungcheol so much, he would cry at times from those feelings. He missed Seungcheol’s touch. He missed Seungcheol’s warmth. He missed Seungcheol’s voice, the way Seungcheol called his name and said ‘I love you’. He missed Seungcheol’s smile, so radiant and bright. He missed Seungcheol’s eyes, the looks full of love just for him. He missed everything, every piece of Choi Seungcheol. Another tear fell from his eyes. He rubbed his tummy.

“I’m sorry, baby. Mummy can’t stop crying. Mummy missed your father.” Jihoon sobbed quietly and let his tears fell. Eventually once again at the time like this, Jihoon fell asleep in his longing cries.

Seungcheol arrived at Busan train station when the dusk fell. He ignored the call he got from Jeonghan and Jisoo, he knew the two must be calling out of worry and ready to nag at him. Well, who won’t when he decided to take off from Seoul to Busan without any preparation? He didn’t bring clothes or anything, just his wallet and phone. Seungcheol was careless about it; he will find a way himself here. He tapped his phone to read the address Minghao gave him again and searched for a taxi.

“Please go to this area.” The driver nodded and drove off. Seungcheol looked outside. The sky darkened slowly as the night fell in Busan. Seungcheol saw a single star and wished upon finding Jihoon this time will be successful. He missed the other so much and he thinks he won’t be fine if he couldn’t find Jihoon this time.

“We arrived.” Seungcheol startled from his thought and noticed the taxi had stopped. He thanked the driver and paid the fare. The leader stepped out from the taxi and looked around. It was a small town from what he knew and he had never been here. Busan, he didn’t really explore this place except for the fan-sign Seventeen had one time, the beach where they visited after the fan-sign and Jihoon’s hometown. From what he knew, this small town was very far away from Jihoon’s hometown, like the other opposites of Busan where these two places lie.

Seungcheol walked around the town. He put down his face mask and secured his cap. Walking the crowd, he afraid he might attract some attention if his fans came across him. Seungcheol carefully approached elderly people to ask about Jihoon. He didn’t use pictures just describe the guy’s feature.

“Have you seen a young guy in this height?”

He kept getting the negative answer. Seungcheol wandered around the place asking until he was exhausted and decided he should find a place to stay when the clock showed 5 minutes to midnight.

“Are you sure you don’t want us to follow?” Jihoon huffed.

“Yes, I’m very sure. Shim ajumma will be with me, so don’t get worry. And you two should start to get ready; you have your shift today right?” Bin and Eunwoo sighed.

“Ugh, I should actually get a leave today.” Eunwoo said. Bin pouted.

“Me too.”

“Hey, don’t do that. You need to work for your life.” The couple rolled their eyes.

“A day off won’t starve us.” Jihoon exhaled.

“Guys, stop worrying too much about me. Think about your life too. I have Shim ajumma with me, so don’t get worry okay? Now go and get ready for your work.” Jihoon shooed the two out from his room. The couple pouted. Jihoon returned to the mirror and took the wig of long hair he had been wearing every time he went out. He couldn’t wear cap and face mask anymore, in order not to raise suspicion moreover in his current condition. So he decided to disguise as a female. It was uncomfortable but he had to do it.

“Are you ready, Jihoonie?” Jihoon turned and smiled when he saw the lady Shim.

“Yeah. I’m ready to meet my child.” The lady Shim smiled. Today was one of his check-ups date with his doctor and today is more special, the scanning for determining the gender of his baby. He didn’t do it previously when the doctor suggested in his 18th week because he’s afraid to do the scanning after the first time undergone it during his earlier month. It’s nothing bad happened that day but Jihoon didn’t like the feeling. Somehow he finally was curious enough so he agreed to do it today.

The lady Shim smiled when Jihoon happily waddled to the door with the bag in his hand. “You’re excited.”

“I am.” The lady Shim chuckled and walked Jihoon out. The elders saw the pregnant male came out from the main door.

“Jihoonie, are you going to the hospital?” Jihoon beamed and nodded. The elder Yunseok nodded. “Okay, be careful.”

“Take care of him, Hwisun.” The elder Yuna said. The lady Shim nodded. She brought Jihoon to the gate and there’s a taxi waiting for them. They boarded it and went to the hospital without much hassle.

Seungcheol sighed as he sat down on a wall at the pavement side. He was out asking people about Jihoon since the dawn but he found nothing yet. The sun was piercing his exposed skin from above, it was hot day. The spring had officially here as the sun became stronger these days. Seungcheol gulped down the water he bought the bottle just now. The sweat started to stick his yesterday cloth on his skin. He might need a new cloth if he’s planning to search around this place until he met Jihoon.

Seungcheol got up on his feet and started to ask people again as he walked to the right. The people kept saying no. Seungcheol sighed each time he heard that answer and thanked them with a faint smile.

“Where are you, Jihoon ah?” Seungcheol sighed. Suddenly he felt his world spinning and his knees buckled. A man who was passing by noticed and helped him.

“Are you okay, young boy?” Seungcheol nodded.

“Ah, yeah. I’m fine.”

“You looked pale. Get something to eat a