When Nayeon is anxious, stressed, angered, anything remotely bad; she bites her lower lips to the point where it swells and hurts. She basically chews on it. Today is no exception. Her lips ache, and she grabs her pen a little bit harsher than usual as she scribbles down the math problem for Jungyeon to solve.

 

“Nayeon,” The short haired girl calls out, in the middle of another problem. “I don’t understand anythin’ to be honest.”

 

Nayeon puts her pen away with a breezing laugh. There’s this weird, underlying tension between the two of them ever since Jungyeon asked her whether she liked girls or not, to avoid saying the label plagged with bad connotations. But she tries to forget it, and act as if it never happened.

Jungyeon seems to be set on doing the exact same thing. They carry on, as usual, but now ignoring a newly added weight on their shoulder when they do so much as stand in the same room by, somehow, avoiding eye contact like their lives depended on it.

 

“What’s the problem?” She slides her chair right beside Jungyeon, gaze falling on everything but her. See? Nayeon is right.

 

“Here, how the does it go from two of this to a quarter of x?” She pushes the problem into Nayeon’s hands as if to get rid of it. Her hand lingers as she shows her the exact spot of her source of headaches.

 

Nayeon finds herself staring at Jungyeon’s fingers. They’re fine, kind of long but not too much. Nayeon likes them, and she thinks they match with her slender ones.

 

“Nayeon?”

 

“Ah, um… You know the derivation of the, the thing right?” She flips the copybook back to the lesson, unconsciously pressing her right shoulder against Jungyeon’s.

 

“Here,” The grid lies under her unfocused eyes. “You just follow this and you’re done.”

 

“I didn’t know you were this smart.”

 

Nayeon chuckles, heart swelling and eyes shining in appreciation of the words. Sometimes, she feels like she just walked to the moon and back, when Jungyeon happens to just compliment something about her (because most of the time, Jungyeon either ignores or teases her).

 

“Guess now you know!”

 

Jungyeon flicks her teasing eyes to her face. “That was ironic--”

 

“No it wasn’t!”

 

“Shhh!” The librarian hisses as she walks past their table, and Nayeon slumps back against Jungyeon’s shoulder.

 

“Old people are no fun,” She whines because it’s the best thing that she can do about it (otherwise they'll get kicked out like last time) and Jungyeon silently hums, seemingly back to maths and Nayeon sits back up.

 

“Is this too hard?” She asks, mostly to cover her own insecurity from the odd silence. Her ears pick up on every movement in a few meters radius, something that doesn't usually happen when she's with the taller girl.

 

Jungyeon rubs her neck, and meets her eyes after what feels like an eternity. “No.”

 

“Then, can you resolve it?”

 

“I… No.” Jungyeon’s shake of the head reminds her of cute things, like puppies, and her heart erractically beats in her chest.

 

“Focus you mushroom,” She chuckles. Jungyeon scoffs.

 

Then, it turns silent (much to the librarian’s content) and Nayeon chews on her lips. The only thing on her mind is Jungyeon.

 

Jungyeon, Jungyeon, Jungyeon.

 

She’s just confused as to what happened, for Jungyeon had been acting distant with her lately. Even more after they “talked”. Quotes, because they did everything expect properly talk.

 

She just feels that Jungyeon is pushing some coldness on her, as if to warn her away, to keep her at bay. But Nayeon can’t help it. Jungyeon is, somewhat, her first love; and it’s too much too handle most of the times. But she can’t keep away from her.

 

She craises her eyebrows at the sigh of Jungyeon throwing her a glance, but the girl quietly shifts back to the math problem, legs restless.

 

Nayeon sits back on her chair. She wants to call Jihyo about this, ask her what all of this means, but then… she wants to solve it all alone.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Jungyeon's eyes lack double eyelids, and that's probably the reason why Nayeon has never been comfortable under her gaze when the latter didn’t put on this soft, decent expression on her face. In fact, Jungyeon has a tendency to look like she is straight up glaring. She knows the girl isn’t exactly doing it on purpose, but it gets misleading, most of the time.

 

“Why she glarin’ at you like that?” Jackson whispers as he lowers his neck for his mouth to fall at the same level of her ear.

 

They’re hanging out in the corridors during a break in between the second and third class this afternoon, Nayeon is with her usual group of friends; Jungyeon with hers.

 

But said both groups are coincidently hanging in the same hallway, and Nayeon is coincidently facing Jungyeon’s line of sight.

 

Throwing hazardeous glances proved to be very unsuccessful as she found herself either getting stared (can she say glared?) at, or choking at the sensation she's getting from just looking at her crush. Or both, as of right now.

 

“Are ya gon’ play this for long?” Jackson quirks up with a bemused look on his face. Nayeon shrugs his arm off of her shoulders.

 

“I don’t know what you’re talkin’ about.”

 

“You sure do rabbit,” He whispers. "Fox's starin' at you and you look mortified,"

 

They manage to hold a conversation as Jihyo’s voice covers basically everything. Nayeon jumbles listening, answering, and pushing herself to forget that Jungyeon keeps looking at her from behind Tzuyu’s shoulder.  

 

“Don’t call me rabbit! Plus, talk for yourself, I see Dahyun staring at you from here.” She grits. Self-consciousness is always something she has a hard time dealing with. So she lies (why would Dahyun, the most emotionally independent girl of the school,stare at him?) and makes a mental note to ask for forgivance after this, as she just needs a distraction.

 

“Dahyun? That eagle kid?” Jackson laughs, his ego swelling before her very eyes. “She’s cute but I like Hani-type of girls.”

 

Nayeon wants to pat her back for distracting the boy so easily. “You still talk to her?” She asks, referring to Hani, a graduate from last year. Jackson used to crush on her, but that was until she turned out to be manlier than he was. She even remembers Jackson telling her that they started checking out girls together, at some point.

 

“Eh, we still catch up sometimes.” He says, conversation completely secluded from their friends'. Nayeon remains silent as his eyes suddenly shine in realization of something.

 

“Oh by the way, didn’t have time to tell you but, gon’ throw a party in three weeks. Wanna come?”

 

He wiggles his eyebrows at her, and that's enough to make her wary of him.

 

“You bleached your eyebrows too?” She reaches a hand to his face and he startedly slaps it away.

 

“You think I don’t know you, quit beating around the bush girl.”

 

Nayeon sighs. This attempt hasn’t worked.

 

“Who’ll be there?”

 

He points his nose toward their animated group of friend, and to Jungyeon’s group of friend, and then broadens his arms to motion how the entire school might be there too.

 

Nayeon chuckles, unconsciously getting clammy hands. “You sure we’ll all fit in your house?”

 

“My house is as big as palace and ya’ know it.”

 

“Okay, rich boy. I’ll be there.” Nayeon finishes with a quick glance toward Jungyeon; finding her friends still there but her spot empty.

 

Jackson, clueless, grins happily.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

“Did you hear ‘bout about Jackson’s party?” Jihyo asks as she munches on some micro-waved popcorn, eyes not leaving the screen. Binge-watching The Heirs was a good idea when Jihyo mentionned it at first, but now Nayeon is just plain bored. She can't grasp how her bestfriend can re-watch this thing after the hundreth time.

 

“He told me about it. You’d think he learned his lesson last time,” Nayeon leans back against one of Jihyo’s numerous pillows on her bed, the girl’s laugh echoing in the silent room.

 

“That was the best yet the worst party ever. And he completely passed out. Jaebum nearly died too.”

 

Nayeon remembers, how their senior had stumbled to the balcony, two floors up. Jackson has a gigantic house, it didn’t help the inhebriated Jaebum away from there, Jooheon did.

 

“Who thought Jaebum would listen to an underclassman? Guess he’s pretty tame when drunk beyond reason.”

 

Jihyo shrugs. “It’s pro’lly going to be the same this time. When is it again?”

 

“In three weeks.”

 

“Right. Three weeks.” Jihyo nods to herself, and Nayeon knows there’s something behind that easy smile.

 

“What, you’re finally gonna claim Japanese beauty as yours?”

 

“Stop finding weird metaphores for Mina.” She warns with a small finger, while Nayeon dismissively laughs. “And no, I was thinkin’ about you right now.”

 

“Me?" She points a finger at herself. "Jihyo please don’t think of confessing during the party I won’t know how to answer--”

 

Jihyo rolls her eyes so far back that Nayeon doubts she'll be able to bring them back in place. “You wish, way too ahead of yourself Nabongs,”

 

It sends Nayeon in a laughing fit, from the way Jihyo is crunching her nose to the shadows the light from the tv create on her face.

 

“I was thinking about you and Jungyeon.”

 

Nayeon gradually stops laughing.

 

“I can’t believe you Jihyo,” She acts horrified. Said girl sends her a quizzical look.

 

“Why?”

 

“Are you suggesting that you want a three way with me and Jungyeon during the party?”

 

Jihyo grunts in disgust audibly, loud enough for Nayeon’s cackle to get covered by the power of it. She feels Jihyo slap her arms multiple times and it stings (the girl’s power is no joke) but she still laughs nonetheless.

 

“When did you turn this nasty?!”

 

Nayeon just winks in between curt chuckles and Jihyo rolls her eyes again.

 

“Listen, and listen carefully. I was saying, that the party could like, bring you closer to Jungyeon.”

 

Her bestfriend shakes her shoulder and Nayeon sits back up. The room turns silent once more.

 

“Jungyeon’s been acting real weird lately,” She mutters, unwillingly, and Jihyo fully faces her.

 

"What do you mean?"

 

 

“She asked me if I liked girls,” Nayeon states, slowly, after a small breath. “And, and I answered I didn’t know--”

 

“You should’ve said yes!”

 

“But I don’t know if I do Jihyo!” Nayeon exclaims. “I don’t know if I like girls or just Jungyeon.”

 

“Who happens to be a girl,” Jihyo points out and is the one to Nayeon roll her eyes this time.

 

“Thanks Captain Obvious.”

 

“Hey!”

 

“Anyways,” She flicks her hand. “Ever since she asked me this, it’s been weird… between us.”

 

She watches as Jihyo bends over her to reach for her popcorn bowl.

 

“It’s like she doesn’t want to be close anymore.” And her bestfriend hums to show she’s listening.

 

“And… I- I noticed that she refrains from talking to me most of the time. Like, physical contact too. It’s- it’s like she wants to, but then stops right before it happens!”

 

Nayeon sighs, running a hand through her black bangs. It's starting to burn in her head. “I don’t understand Jihyo.”

 

“Neither do I,” Jihyo declares, a weird glint in her eyes. Nayeon swears she spies an edge of a smirk on her face.

 

“But I have a hunch.”

 

“And what is it Thomas?”

“That she likes you.”

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

The words haunt Nayeon for the rest of the week.

 

Thing is, she has never, ever, felt this strongly for someone in her life before, let alone get her feelings reciprocated.

 

So when Jihyo declared that with no apparent doubt on her face, Nayeon felt like flying out of the window and leave the country for, she doesn't know, Madagascar? She heard that it is the go to country if she wants to disappear off the surface of earth, metaphorically.

 

It’s kind of scary, she thinks. Because, in all honesty, Jihyo could be right. She could be right simply because she is almost always right. But the girl isn’t some newly sent prophete to guide the population of Im Nayeons to the right path; no (though, she doubts it sometimes, Jihyosus take the wheel).

 

She has to admit, Jihyo is just a girl with a tad more sense knocked into her brain. So the chances of her being wrong are still pretty high.

 

Okay, Nayeon is scared, period. The idea in itself startles her, Jungyeon, liking her back? Jungyeon, reciprocationg her feelings?

 

That’s just odd and--

 

“Im Nayeon.” She snaps her head up at the teacher’s stern voice cutting through her thoughts.

 

“You aren’t focusing.” He states and clearly, she isn’t. Looks like Captain Obvious 2, Jihyo’s accolite, is here.

 

“S- sorry.” She apologizes, eyes sliding back to her copybook.

 

“Focus.” He warns before he goes back to rambling about maths and many things that Nayeon has trouble following diligently.

 

The source of her troubles is sitting at the front row today, because the teacher is a nosy one and he despises students that don’t work in his class, costing Jungyeon the precious choice of choosing her table.

 

Nayeon watches as Jungyeon crosses both arms and legs, (and Nayeon remembers the girl telling her she does that when frustrated) heaving a sigh that manages to carry far enough to reach Nayeon’s ears.

 

“Miss Yoo? Anything to add?” The teacher adds.

 

“No.” Her voice comes as cold as ice and Nayeon understands why people may be frightened of her.

 

“Then keep silent.”

 

A giggle turns up in the classroom and Jungyeon turns around to glare at whoever is the owner of that voice (Jackson suddenly turns away), and meets Nayeon’s eyes.

 

She doesn’t know what it is, really, she is convinced; but her eyes glue to Jungyeon’s clear brown orbs and suddenly the teacher disappears, the classroom disappears, she herself disappears.

 

There is just Jungyeon, and her heart, heavily aching to burst out and scream on top of its lungs things that Nayeon will probably never find the courage to whisper to herself.

 

Jungyeon throws her a tight lipped smile and she smiles back (surely a lot wider and animated); something that doesn't go unnoticed.

 

“Im Nayeon, Yoo Jungyeon; go stand in the corridor. You don’t seem to be adament on working and I do not allow this in my class!”

 

“Alright, no need to scream, geez.” Jungyeon comments while standing up, some pupils smiling in amusement.

 

Nayeon feels a sudden rush of shame course in her veins. She definitely isn’t used to being kicked out of the classroom.

 

“He’s naggy as heck,” Jungyeon raises her elbows above her shoulders after they close the door and Nayeon follows suit, noticing how the teacher eyes them from one of the windows giving on the corridor.

 

Nayeon sighs. It’s dead silent, she can only hear the faint voices of teachers’ monotone discour and the even breathing of the taller girl beside her.

 

“Sorry.” Jungyeons says after a while, right when Nayeon’s arms start to ache.

 

“Huh?”

 

“I’m sorry about… um, this,” The short haired girl jerks her head toward the classroom for a second.

 

“Don’t apologize! I wasn’t focusing anyways.” Nayeon glances at Jungyeon’s profile, silent.

 

“Ah, I’m sorry ‘bout… ‘bout asking you that weird question, last time. T’was rude of me.”

 

Nayeon feels like dropping her arms, her muscles tense painfully. A quick glance back in the room and the math teacher is still looking at them.

 

She wants to say that it was, rude. She wants to ask Jungyeon why she questionned her in the first place. She wants to know what’s running inside of Jungyeon’s head right now, as she’s watching the girl wear a totally new expression on her face.

 

“It’s nothing.” She grunts when her shoulders start to ache, too. She really isn’t used to this.

 

Jungyeon watches her for a second more before rapidly moving in front of her, grabbing both of her wrists and holding them up with her own.

 

“What are you doing?” Nayeon grants her two eyebrows raise; and she feels her arms rest and chest burn at Jungyeon’s embarassed smile.

 

“Helpin’ you hold your arms up.”

 

Nayeon bites back a smile, really hard.

 

“I’m fine really!” She exclaims as her wrist start tingling in the spot where Jungyeon’s fingers are holding onto.

 

“Don’t strain yourself I can--”

 

“I’m used to this. Lemme use all those years worth of getting kicked’out of class for something.”

 

Nayeon stares as Jungyeon looks past her shoulder, in the classroom.

 

“We risk gettin’ scolded though,”

 

Jungyeon warns once she looks back,  a dangerous yet enticing glint dancing around in her eyes.

 

Nayeon loves her eyes, simply from the fact that behind the sharpness of it all stands a pretty cute puppy called inner Jungyeon.

Her arms do not ache anymore, and maybe, just maybe; Nayeon lets the thought enter her mind as she stares a Jungyeon avoiding her gaze. Maybe, Jihyo is right, somehow.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Scratch that, Nayeon thinks.

 

Forget everything said, she he believes Jungyeon to be bipolar in secrecy.

She and Jihyo mindlessly skip to the bathroom, and on their way, they cross paths with Jungyeon.

Nayeon always had an ability to read people the more she hangs with them, so it doesn’t come as a surprise that she knows Jungyeon isn’t exactly in a good mood today.

Jungyeon doesn’t smile, doesn’t wave, doesn’t greet at all. She just glances at Nayeon (and Jihyo, but then again Nayeon likes to think it's just her).

 

When she does, Nayeon smiles. Who doesn't smile to a friend, right?

 

But Jungyeon doesn’t, and Nayeon walks down the corridors with plenty other questions and an unresolved mind; while Jihyo just thinks that it’s weird. Weird, because if you like someone, shouldn’t you show your emotions?

 

“Jihyo!” A sweet voice calls out from one end of the corridor, and both girls turn.

 

They find Mina by a window, happily; way too happily waving at the two of them.

 

Jihyo unconsciously takes a step forward, a smile blossoming on her face.

 

“And you say I’m the one whipped.” Nayeon chortles but Jihyo doesn’t mind her at all.

“Nature’s calling me Jihyo,” She makes a face. “I’ll go first.” And with one nod, one final wave at Mina, she begins her journey to the bathroom.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Notes: I think you can already see that something is gonna happen next chapter ;) theres a useless kiddish reference somewhere in this mess lmao