Bambam 

- 

I gave a full bag of LSD to the customer in the street. He took the bag briskly and gave the money from it, to me. After a while, he was long gone, but I knew that he was coming to get more after few days. 

I was viewing my pockets, which were full of different kind of stuff. I was going to get so much money for these, because in this city, there weren’t many people who sell this kind of stuff. 

Personally I liked to change the place to another intervals, so I left from that street. I walked 5 blocks to east, and called to the next customer. I told him that the meeting place changed and then I hung up the call. 

Putting my phone to my pocket, I waited for that person to come. I wasn’t that scared to do this anymore, but it still got a little adrenaline to flow in me. 

Since I got into this, I have been selling stuff for 2 years and I couldn’t think of doing anything else. I get a lot of money from this and it was good, but you still had to be careful. One wrong move and you could get arrested. 

I thought about old times, and then I remembered Mark. He was my boyfriend back then who I loved, and then I got into this business. He didn’t like it, so he left me. 

I was kind of mad at him, because he just left me and I still didn’t know the whole reason for it. It wasn’t big deal what I did, if he loved me back then, then he would have stayed. 

After meeting Mark yesterday, got me thinking of him more than usually. I wonder if he has missed me, because I have missed him. I still liked him, but I was getting over him already. It took a long time for me to move on, but I laid my eyes on someone special just a while ago. 

I have been gay since I was born. My parents didn’t accept it, even though I did everything for them so they would accept it. Obviously it didn’t happen and I moved away from home, only when I was 16 years old. Right before meeting Mark. 

When I met Mark, he was so kind and what I liked about him besides his looks, was that he became gay. His parents accepted him right away as he was, and I was kind of jealous of it.  

After 1 year of dating, I had to make money from somewhere. Somehow, I was asked to help someone who I didn't know. I arrived to the meeting and after hearing what I was supposed to do, I tried to not to do it. They threatened me, that they would hurt someone that was close to me if I didn’t do it, so I had to do it. 

I never told this to Mark, but he still shouldn’t have left me, even if I liked to do it. I didn’t only sell that stuff, I did them too. It’s not allowed in Korea and I know that it’s not good for your health, but it was my escape from everything that happened to me. 

I saw my next customer coming with his black clothes and hood on his head. He dressed a bit too obviously, but he was new, so how could he know. I met this guy one week ago and since then, he has been coming to here every day. 

He came close to me and then he looked around us. I think he was afraid of getting caught, but it was normal for a first-timer. He took his money from his pocket and gave it to me. 

''What would you like to have today, blondie?'' I asked him and then he looked at me. 

''The usual dose.'' He said while looked again to see if this street was safe to be in. 

I was getting his usual dose which was 4 bags of different stuff from my pocket. He was really rich guy to buy every day the same amount, even I didn't do that much of drugs. He was crazy, but with that amount of income, I was getting richer. 

I gave the bags to him and he counted them. That customer was a good looking one. I laid my eyes on him on that street one week after, and I think it was his first time taking these. I felt as a bad guy dragging him to this world. 

''By the way, are you interested in free drugs?'' I asked him and he looked at me. He seemed to be interested, but his eyes got this weird look. 

''Excuse me?'' He asked me with his deep voice, which got me kind of . 

''I would like to have help to sell these, so if you help me, I could give you drugs, as a payment.'' I told him and he seemed to understand. He thought about it for a while, but then his face gave the answer. 

''I'll do it.'' He said and shook a hand with me. His eyes glanced at mine, and I felt good. 

I knew he was going to accept the offer, because he seemed to need drugs desperately. I didn't know if he was in the need of money to get them, but if it includes what he wanted, then he would have done everything I wanted him to do. 

He was perfect candidate to do it, and I wanted to keep him close to me. You never know when he stops to come here, but recording to this answer, he was going to keep doing this. 

''I'll contact you later and let you know about few things. Remember, there's no going back.'' I said and he agreed. He started to walk away from me and then I left too. 

- 

Mark 

- 

I felt my phone buzzing next to my hand and it woke me up. While I took my phone to my hand, I saw that Jin-young was calling me. I was so sleepy that I didn't almost know what I did, but I answered the call. 

''Hello?'' I said while closing my eyes and putting my head back on pillow. 

''Mark? Where are you? I'm already ordering coffee for us.'' He said while I suddenly opened my eyes. 

I got up from my bed and I looked at the clock. It was already 1pm and I was totally sleeping over our meeting. 

''Yeah, I'm on my way, I'll be there soon!'' And with that I hung up the call. I punched myself on the cheek as a punishment for being late. I hit a bit too hard and it made me grin. Great. 

I ran to get my clothes and dressed up. After getting my clothes on, I ran to the bathroom to brush my teeth. I was going to be so late, but I couldn't show up like a total beggar. I ran to downstairs where my parents were. 

They asked me to eat, but I told them that I was late from an appointment, so they understood. I ran out of my house, and then I just ran all the way to the city. Usually I didn't want for people to wait for me, so I ran 5 miles to the city without stopping. 

I arrived to the coffee shop and then I entered in. I saw Jin-young sitting in the chair looking extra fine. He even did his hair up and put good clothes on. I was looking horrible compared to him. Covered in sweat, I was approaching him and the same time I tried to wipe the most off from my skin. 

I was near him and he noticed me. I sat to the chair which was opposite from him, and then I looked at his face. He seemed to be little confused to see me sweaty and out of breath. 

''Hey Markie! Did you run?'' He asked me, and I was already feeling like he knew that I was still sleeping when he called me. I shook my head saying no, but then he laughed a bit. 

''Yah, I know you were sleeping when I called you. You didn't have to run to see me, it's not good for your health to run that fast.'' He said with his concerned voice. He looked so good with his hair up and his big lips moisturized. 

Why did I even seemed to be fancy him? I had to concentrate on finding Jackson and see if he's alright, but I couldn't deny that JR looked good in my eyes. 

''Sorry... I was so tired about yesterday, I promise I'll be on time next time.'' I said and I took my jacket off from my back. While I was glancing at him, I really hoped that it didn't smell too much. 

''It's alright, I'm not mad at all. So what you wanted to talk about?'' He said while going straight to the topic. I didn't know if he wanted to talk about his past, but I should think what to say first and then say it carefully. 

''Yes, uhm... You already know that Jackson is missing, but I saw him yesterday. I tried to ran and catch him, but I couldn't reach him so he disappeared again. He even dyed his hair to blonde. I wonder if something is going on because nobody seems to dye his hair to platinum blonde in a short period.'' I said to him and it got him thinking. 

''I think it's normal for someone to dye his hair, so I don't see any emergency in this.'' He said with his low voice. Maybe I should tell him about what I saw before I saw Jackson. 

''Me too, but I saw my ex yesterday. What makes it strange, is that my ex just moved to this town and Jackson happened to come out from where my ex came. Both black hooded and weird.'' I said to Jin-Young. He frowned and then he opened his mouth. 

''I think it was just a pure coincidence.'' He said while seeming not to care about Jackson. I was getting uneasy while trying to explain that this was serious thing to be concerned about. 

''Well, it would be, if my ex wouldn't be a drug dealer.'' I said with ing tone. I had to say it straight to make Jin-young to understand the seriousness of this scene. Jin-Young looked to get interested in, after hearing that. 

''You dated a drug dealer?'' He asked me. I got blushed, because it came so easily from his mouth to ask that. I didn't know what to say, so I just mumbled the yes.  

He sat in silence until he got up from his chair and took my hand. I looked at him while feeling his warm hand on my hand. 

''Let's go, I'll show you something.'' He said mysteriously. 

I got up from my chair and he dragged me out from the coffee shop. We walked hand in hand the whole way to where Jin-Young wanted to take me. It wasn't embarrassing to me, but isn’t it to him? After walking and saying nothing to each other, we arrived to the park which was near the city. 

''Why we came here?'' I asked him while he let my hand go. I still felt his hand’s warmness in my hand. 

He walked inside to the park and sat down to the swing. He showed me to come sit to the other swing next to him, so I did. I wonder why he dragged me here? 

''This park was our favorite. We used to play here when we were young. Every day when we could, we met here and came to swing and took competitions as who could swing higher and who could jump from the swing farther.'' He said while swinging a little. 

''You and Jackson?'' I asked to be sure. He nodded for an answer and then I swing a little too. 

''This park was the place where we argued about his father too.'' He said after he laid his head on the swing's chain. He looked kind of sad while he was talking about him. Jackson really knew how to break someone's heart, even as a friend’s. 

I got up from my swing and walked in front of him. I knelt down and I saw how his eyes were laid on me. Hesitating a little, I put my hands around him and gave a hug. I know how hard it was when you lose someone who was important to you, just because the have changed. 

While I hugged him, I felt his breath on my neck getting quicker. His hands crawled on my back and he hugged me back tightly. I didn't feel anything weird while I was hugging him, but I was just feeling bad for him. I really started to hate Jackson for what he does to people. 

After taking my hands off from Jin-young, I got up. I looked around us and it was getting a little colder outside. I looked back at him and he got up too. 

"Thank you Mark. For understanding.” He said to me. He really was sentimental guy. Who would have known, that Jackson had friends that were nice. 

''Should we leave?'' I asked him and he nodded. 

We walked away from the park, but every time I see that park again, I will remember it as a park, where Jackson became to be what he is.  

We were in the city again and we were in silence. Neither of us were making any sound than breathing. I didn’t know if it was because of the hug we had in the park, or was it just Jackson that kept us shut.  

I glanced at Jin-young's hand that looked lonely. My heart wanted to grab it, but my mind resisted it. I just wanted to make him feel what Jackson took away. Happiness. 

We were arriving to the place where I saw Jackson yesterday, and it didn’t feel pleasant for me. I glanced at the street to see if he was there, but he wasn’t. 

Jin-young seemed to notice how I looked at the smaller streets for any sign of Jackson or Bambam. After a while, I didn’t pay attention to the streets anymore, because it was useless, they wouldn’t get caught again. 

”Isn’t that Jackson?” Jin-young suddenly said and it got me looking around asking where. 

He pointed out two dark clothed persons on the smaller street, near the place I saw them yesterday. I couldn’t believe my eyes. Jackson was leaving from the other person, and then I shouted. 

”Jackson!” The sound of my voice was shivery, and it didn’t sound very manly. 

He lifted his head and then he saw us. He stopped for a second and put his hood to cover his face. I started to run at him, because I knew he was going to get away again. 

As I predicted, he sprinted away from us, and I saw that Jin-young started to run too. Jackson ran fast, even faster than I did. I guess he wasn’t the captain out of reason. He happened to turn to the street on his left and after we got there, he was gone again. 

“Should we split up? I’ll call you if I find him.” I said to Jin-young, and he agreed. 

And then we ran to different ways to find him.