When you just feel like you've given up.
A whole new life with you?
Hanmi’s POV:
I glanced at the building for the last time, and turned my head to the direction I was heading to. I carried my feet off the dirty ground, and began running.
Losing energy and hope, I fell tired, but ran with my heart out of place and my mind tangled up in several thoughts and memories both good and bad.
Sprinting to wherever my feet took me, my mind spun with thoughts of all the good and bad memories I had that portrayed a sense of gloominess throughout my entire lifetime.
These thoughts ran through me, and the memories began flashing at me like lightning, which gave me a slight headache.
Unsure of where I was headed to, I managed to stumble upon that same park where I was found about a month ago, bringing back pain and misery to my lifeless self.
The feeling I had before came back to me yet again, as I tried to block every aspect of those sickening moments that were locked up deep in my chest, never to be opened up again.
Without warning, the rain fell down like hail, and the wind gushed through me like a ghost. Dark clouds overlapped each other, enclosing me in this dark and cold world once again…and my body, frozen as ice, stood under the clouds, desperate of where I was going to and if I would ever find anyone that cared and loved me…for just…me.
If only I could understand people so that nothing like this would ever come across my path again.
Breathing heavily, I somehow toppled on a wooden bench, drenched with water that faced that similar playground where I once shared laughs with my best friend.
My bare skin was electrified with the touch of the bench, that felt like a big block of dry ice.
My frozen body was covered in water, dripping from the showers of the sky. Rain slid down my sensitive body as good and bad memories slide-showed in my head, dripping out of my body and were transformed into visible tears.
My icicle-like body shivered on top of the rain covered bench and my mind slowly fell dark. Exhausted due to stress, the cold rainy weather that God foreshadowed, drummed my entire body as my plump flesh laid lifelessly onto the hard wooden surface.
My mind didn’t seem to rest from the several questions that popped up, and the replaying memories and nightmares that played in my head, made me pass out in an instant.
Jessica’s POV:
I don’t know why I took Hanmi outside the building so fast. My emotion of jealousy between Hanmi and Key were somehow unbearable to watch.
It was already planned that I was to take her out to the mall to buy her a cell phone with the girls, but this unexpected emotion took over me.
I asked Hanmi to wait outside and strode through the billions of wires and such in order to find their manager.
I looked up and found their manager talking to Key and Onew. My stupid eyes were completely fixed on Key. I stopped my feet from walking and my heart totally melted from his warm and gentle smile that he flashed at me. His eyes and mine were locked to each other, and the feeling in my stomach was definitely something I never felt before.
Embarrassed of looking at Key for a bit too long, I remembered my mission and quickly walked up to their manager.
Suddenly, their manager’s phone rang and he walked away answering his phone, right when I approached.
I looked back at him and was about to walk away, when someone stopped me.
Thinking it was Jonghyun oppa, I smiled to myself and turned around only to find Key. Weirdly enough, my heart skipped two beats and I was mesmerized by his cute and gentle self.
Forgetting all about my task, I looked away from Key’s eyes and looked for their manager. He was still on the phone so I decided to talk to Key.
I turned around, only to find that no one was in front of me. I saw Jonghyun oppa glance at me, but he never did anything. I felt hurt that he would just ignore me.
As for Key, I deeply sighed, and walked away to their manager, not caring if he was on the phone or not.
Someone s their hands around my petite body and rested their chin on my shoulders.
My heart nearly exploded thinking it was Jonghyun oppa who finally seemed to honor my presence. But as I turned around, it was Key who came to hug me.
I smiled at his kindness and was about to say something when he began to speak up.
“Looking for me?” He said playfully. I giggled and turned around.
He smiled ever so cutely, and I melted at the sight of that. I couldn’t be falling for Key, I just couldn’t.
Anyways, we talked most of the time until I remembered about Hanmi and excused myself, only to race to their manager and tell him where I was taking Hanmi just in case she would get in trouble on her first day at work.
I quickly ran to him, dodging everything in my way, and smiled at him.
“Excuse me, Manager oppa…is it ok if I take Hanmi to the mall so she could get a new cell phone? I’m taking my members too, so it would be easier to pick. I‘ll bring her home safe.“ I said, ending my sentence with an innocent smile.
I was impatient because Hanmi could be mad that I took so long, thinking I locked her out on purpose .
“Ok, that’s fine. I needed to get her one anyways…thanks Jessica-shi. You guys can go now…but make sure she’s safe ok and make sure she goes home to SHINee’s dorm… I trust you to keep her safe and healthy. I don’t want her running away or something…got it?” He said. I smiled widely and ran off.
Opening the door, I didn’t see Hanmi anywhere around here. It was dark outside and it was raining hard. I put on my hoodie, and ran around the building and near the area in search of Hanmi. I started panicking, wondering where she would go.
Knowing her background story, I was scared she would run away. She was my only normal friend that I made today and she probably already hates me.
This is all my fault!!
I was so mad at myself and searched around one more time, before heading in for help. I couldn’t tell their manager because I promised him she would be safe and out of harm’s way.
Ignoring how drenched I was, I sneakily entered the building and just in time, the guys’ finished their schedule.
I brought them over to a secluded area and told them my problem.
“Guys~ I need your help fast!! Hanmi’s missing and I don’t know where she is!!!” I said, panicking.
“WHAT?!?!?!?!?!” JESSICA! WHAT DID YOU DO TO HER?!?!” They all said in unison. I was so guilty for taking her out when I could’ve told their manager first, then took her with me.
“I….I…..I took Hanmi outside and told her to wait there and when I was inside, I was waiting for your manager to be done talking so I could tell him that Hanmi and I would get her a new phone……..but then when I opened the door, she was gone…..” I said quietly.
“HOW CAN YOU BE SO STUPID?! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU JESSICA?! YOU KNOW SHE WOULD RUN AWAY AT TIMES LIKE THIS~ AND SHE MIGHT BE GONE FORVER!!!” Jonghyun said. I felt a lump in my throat and convinced myself not to cry.
I was hurt by the words Jonghyun oppa said, and was teary eyed. I stood there quietly…without making eye contact with any one of them.
Jonghyun oppa looked mad. He wasn’t like this when I was missing when we were together at the mall…when he found me, he just smiled and told me that we should leave now…
I felt like my heart was torn apart and that he didn’t care about me at all…
Key looked at me with sympathy…he always made me feel better when Jonghyun oppa made me feel angry or down.
I was about to speak when Jonghyun ran off to his manager. He said something, then pointed to us, and then ran out of the door, putting on his hoodie before he went out.
A tear I was tryingso hard to hold in, accidentally escaped my eyes. He was looking for her….and he actually cared about her….a girl who he met a month ago…a girl who doesn’t like him….and a girl that’s not his girlfriend…..
I ran out, hands in my face, running away from it all.
I ran and ran and ran….until someone caught my arm.
Jonghyun’s POV:
How can she be soo useless!! She knows I told her Hanmi’s problems and harships she went through!!!! Ugh, she makes me so freaking mad sometimes….Geez, can she ever do anything right for once?!??!
I ran as fast as I could, ignoring anything that hit me, anything that was in my way.
I was scared Hanmi might get into trouble and that she would never come back into our lives ever again.
Thinking of this, I ran ever faster and stopped to try to see where I was. It was hard to see in the dark, especially in the rain, but I made it work somehow.
I ran around, thinking where she could be.
I checked our dorm first and she wasn’t there….I checked the SM building and she wasn’t there…I even checked her house…and she wasn’t there. I don’t know how I checked her house, but I did.
WHERE COULD SHE BE?!?!?!?!?!?!
Hanmi’s POV:
I woke up from a sharp pain in my stomach. I jumped up in fear and remembered where I was. Oh…it was all a dream, wasn’t it?? I never met SHINee…..and I’m still stuck here in the rain….with no where to go….
But why does this dream feel so real?!?! And wasn’t I wearing summer clothes last night? Wait…it’s still night time…ugh, I’m sooo confused!
I stood up, feeling dizzy and tried to walk around.
I heard some commotion, and turned around, hoping it was Key oppa. I know it was all a dream, but can’t I just hope??
Anyways, someone unexpected was there getting out of a car…………..
a very familiar car.
OH.NO….IT CANT BE….IT CANT BE….
I tried running away from that person who made me hurt so much, but my body wouldn’t listen to me. I fell on the ground and panicked. That person came closer….and closer….and closer….
GOD….PLEASE…..HELP….ME.
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