The day progressed slowly for the elementalists, but eventually, they found themselves in the large tent that was at the center of the ring still standing.  It was Marcus’s but he had been using it for the wounded as they travelled down the mountain.  Cots were spread everywhere, most of which were now empty, thanks to Eleanara’s offer of assistance.  After healing Tierne, she had sought out Marcus and asked if she would be allowed to heal the injured.  He had debated for a moment but had agreed largely because he had a couple that were in critical condition and he worried about them making it to Fairwinter at all.  The entire village was making their way down and he refused to leave anyone behind so they had carried their injured thus far, hoping they would last until they reached civilization again.

           In truth, she was only too glad to help as that way she didn’t have to think about anything else except the next person who needed assistance.  Once they were done though, all that was left were her thoughts and the quiet of the tent as she sat on one of the empty cots, drained and tired.  Leeteuk brought her a bowl of stew and some hot tea, both of which she had consumed by rote, before they were joined first by Summer and Kyuhyun and then by Kharin, Eunhyuk and Siwon.  Surprisingly, Vayna remained close at hand, hovering with a protective eye towards Kharin.  Marcus was the last to arrive and he gestured for them to all have a seat.  It was no surprise to him that they gravitated towards each other almost instantly.  He watched as Vayna took a seat behind them, a glance to the tent flap confirming that no one else was coming.

           “I am honestly glad to see that you are all up and about,” he spoke sincerely, his eyes touching each of them, approval there as he noted their layout.  Siwon had joined Eleanara and Leeteuk on the cot they shared while the rest took to the floor directly in front of them, using their legs and the cot as a back rest.  Summer was still near Kyuhyun, both of whom had taken a seat in front of Eleanara and Leeteuk while Kharin was holding to Eunhyuk’s arm, the pair sitting nearest Siwon.

           Leeteuk spoke for all of them.  “Thank you for your hospitality.  Especially in light of what you told us.”  All of their faces fell as they paid silent homage to those lost in the attack.  Gairen had been one of the few who had not made it out, caught in the back of the inn and unable to seek safety in time.  Drell had been one of the severely wounded but Eleanara had healed him, to Vayna’s relief.

           “We would have done the same for any other,” Marcus responded honestly, without hesitation.  “What I am still unsure on, is what happened yesterday?”  He regarded them evenly, aware that they were but mere children pushed into the world with a task that was very unfair to ask anyone to fulfill.

           “We fought a battle,” Kyuhyun muttered uncharitably and Marcus favored him with a nonplussed look.  The young man had the grace to flush and duck his head even as Summer nudged him firmly with her elbow.

           “Tierne said you were all decent with the weapons he gave you, but I can see it in your eyes, little ones.  Battle was not what you were expecting, was it?” he asked softy, prodding gently.  Over the night, while the elementalists had slept, he had conversed with both Vayna and Tierne, as well as some of the more experienced warriors and they had all agreed it would be wise to have them acknowledge the nature of their power.  As Marcus looked over the group, he could see they were holding up decently, at least outwardly, but there was this look in their eyes and a wariness to them that spoke of less physical troubles.  He need only look at Eleanara and Kharin to see that…

           At his words, the reality of what they had experienced only yesterday slid back into their minds, insidious and unstoppable.  He watched the memories wash over them, noting their expressions in the safety he had provided here, where nothing else could distract them from facing that truth.

           “It was horrible…” Kharin murmured softly, a distant look on her pale white face.  For a second, she wasn’t sure if she was talking about the battle alone or that strange space she had fallen into when the wyrm had attacked her.  “I still see them in my mind, when I close my eyes…  Nameless faces screaming at me and falling apart…literally…when I fight them.  I want them to go away,” she cried softly as Eunhyuk pulled her to him and held her close, wishing he could shield her from the nightmare she was caught in.  “I don’t want to kill anymore,” she admitted quietly, her voice thick with unshed tears and with just a hint of defeat in her tone.

           Her quiet admission shook the others, painfully aware of their own feelings in this matter.  As the others grappled with the images her words had called to mind, Kyuhyun reached over and placed a hand on Kharin’s leg, steadying and firm.  When she met his eyes, she saw understanding there and for the first time, they both recognized how terrible their gifts could be.  “I never thought…I never imagined how it would feel to burn,” he admitted slowly, his voice tense as he remembered the pain…  His memories of the battle were bad, yes, but he just remembered laying there, his head on Summer’s lap.  He had wondered, even after Eleanara had stabilized him, if maybe it would have been better to die than to have to keep taking one painful breath after the next, unsure when it would cease.

           All those men he had killed with the rampant use of his ability…he wondered how they felt as they died.  He vividly recalled the burnt and broken remains of people flying through the air…the overwhelming stench.  It was easy to push all of that away in the heat of battle, when survival was not guaranteed, but when laid out so plain for all to see, he could not just brush the experience off.  Uncertainly, he looked at the others to see their reactions, holding Kharin’s hand as she shifted to place her head in Eunhyuk’s lap, her free hand gripping tightly to the fabric of his pants in front of her.

           Eunhyuk wiped at the tears in his eyes and looked around as he rested his hand on Kharin’s shoulder.  “I think we all understood we have power, but we weren’t ready for just how much control might be needed…”  He swallowed hard and looked at Kharin curled up against him.  Tenderly, he caressed her hair as he recalled his own error when she had disappeared.  “I lost it,” he admitted, shame evident in his voice.  “I thought she was gone and I could not control myself…”  The others nodded as they reached out to place comforting hands on each other.  The contact was steadying and allowed him to go on.  “I didn’t feel anything else.”  He shivered as he recalled the moment after Summer had helped to stop him.  “I lost myself,” and the look he the rest of the group truly looked lost.

           “But we found you,” Siwon assured him as he leaned forward and down to hug the other man from behind.  He remembered that awful period of time after the battle when they had to pick up the pieces of themselves.  It was hard for him as it had been his element that had nearly gotten Eunhyuk killed.  Still resting against the elementalist’s shoulder, he started speaking again, “For all my strength,” and he winced at the memory of his maul crushing that man’s armor, “there was very little that I could do by myself in those battles.”

           Leeteuk placed a hand on Siwon’s back and rubbed methodically, his face sad and somewhat confused.  Carefully, he did not meet anyone’s gaze and just waited for someone else to start talking.  He could not give voice to what he felt…not yet.  He blinked uncertainly when he felt Eleanara grab his other hand, but when he looked over at her, she wasn’t looking at him.  She was sort of staring off as she had a tendency to do on occasion when she was thinking too much.

           As her eyes began to dry out, she blinked and took a deep breath, catching their attention.  “I couldn’t do enough.  I wanted to… I tried,” she insisted, glancing down at Kyuhyun with a stricken expression on her face.  “I couldn’t do what was needed,” she stated bitterly.  The memory of Kyuhyun’s burned body still hovered in her mind, not matter how many times she told herself that she’d done what she had to.  It didn’t matter that she has spent most of her power holding off the wyrm’s tail…she only recalled that she had not had enough in her to heal Kyuhyun without losing herself again.  The thought had certainly crossed her mind often enough yesterday and today, but she had promised Kharin…  She glanced down at the other young woman still curled next to Eunhyuk and she felt inadequate all over again.  In the end, she had not been able to protect her either or heal the hurt that she now struggled with.

           “At least you were able to do something,” Summer sighed as she rubbed her hands against her legs as if trying to wipe something off.  “I killed a man yesterday…two actually, but how many were we fighting?”  She laughed harshly and shook her head.  “I couldn’t even do anything against the wyrm until I figured out it was a construct.  Do you think if I’d have known sooner, the rest of you wouldn’t have been hurt so badly?” she asked uncertainly.  How had she not known it was a construct?  She hadn’t been able to feel it until Eunhyuk’s power had been quelled.  Had he really been such a powerful force she couldn’t tell anything else otherwise?

           Kyuhyun reached over and grabbed her closest hand, keeping it from moving so nervously.  “But you did save me,” he told her simply, aware that all of Eleanara’s healing ability would have been useless if she had not stopped him when she did.

           Unable to stop herself, Summer laughed as tears stung her eyes.  His words made her feel gratitude for him and she smiled, feeling a flush creep into her cheeks.  tight, she nodded and wiped ineffectively at the tears in her eyes.  She felt Eleanara’s hand come to rest against her shoulder, a gentle presence comforting and reassuring.

           Slowly, the group absorbed the words they had all shared today, coming to realize belatedly that they had yet to hear from one other.  Curiously, all their eyes began to turn to Leeteuk, uncertain how he felt about the battle the other day.  “Teuk?” Eleanara asked softly as she placed her left hand on his shoulder gently.

           “I’m alright,” he assured them weakly.  “I just need to learn my limits too.”  He forced a smile, willing them to look away.  Siwon sat up beside him and regarded him evenly.  “Yes, combat was hard and I couldn’t protect you guys like I wanted to,” he added, still smiling though his eyes were sad.

           “Leeteuk,” Marcus stated softly, making the other man look up.  “Let it out, lad.”

           Attention focused back on the earth elementalist as Marcus had intended and under their uncertain gazes, he found his resistance faltering.  “I…there were too many.”  He felt his pulse start to race and his breathing increased as that horrible sensation came back to him, inescapable.  “I couldn’t-“ he started again, unable to finish the words.

           “Say it!” Marcus demanded sharply, startling the group.

           The last vestiges of his control broke and Leeteuk growled through clenched teeth, his eyes closed, “I wanted to kill them all!”  At the shameful admission, he covered his face with his hands and leaned forward over his legs, his body shaking as wracking sobs overtook him.  “For…for threatening all of you,” he managed around hiccupping gasps, “I wanted them all to die.”  He hated himself for that brief feeling of bloodlust and anger, wishing by all the gods that he had never felt it.

           Stunned by the intensity of his reaction, the group sat, dumbfounded, and stared at him for a confused moment at his crying form.  In the next moment though, both Eleanara and Siwon clung to him in the same instant, holding him tight.  It did not take long for the others to get to their feet and embrace him firmly.  Fiercely protective, they banded together to comfort him and soon found that he was not the only one crying.

           Vayna took that moment to step out, quietly unobtrusive as she returned to the day to day affairs and left the remainder to Marcus.  The Chieftain watched them approvingly for a time, waiting for them to unfold on their own.  It took a bit longer than he had expected, but eventually, they slowly drifted apart, still standing near each other, with many of them holding hands or with an arm wrapped around another.  He waited until their eyes were back on him and he nodded in acknowledgement.  “Combat is ugly,” he started simply and tipped his head to them when he added, “And you’ve found that out the hard way.”  Weak nods followed that statement.  “After yesterday, I can imagine you have a lot of doubts running through your heads about your power.”  More nods came from the group, eyes red-rimmed and intense.  “I can’t tell you how you should or should not use your power.  All I can say, is that if you don’t fight, then more will die.  People who are less trained and more innocent than those men who died yesterday.”

           Slowly, the truth of that statement made its way into their minds and though right now, they all recoiled at the thought of fighting, they knew he was right.  More people like the villagers that had sheltered them would be caught in the middle of this pointless war.  They were not ready for that war, but like it or not, it was here.

           “We can stay another day if you need,” Marcus offered quietly, beginning to make his way towards the front of the tent.  “Just let me know what you’ve decided.  When you’re ready.”  With that, he quietly withdrew and left them to their thoughts.