”Knock knock” I was staring at the bigbang poster when eunjung unnie come in. “they look so young and fresh right?” I nodded to eunjung unnie question. “they are still cool but they were so innocent then..and us too” I sighed “it is called youth..” I look at her. “oppa I have always be a bad friend to u right?” she smiles. “I never contact u even when I was in berklee” she shook her head. “it is not u who drift away from me but it is the circumstance that make us apart but people meet to part, it is not a surprising thing”

                 “JIYEONIE” I turn around to see hyomin unnie with her everlasting beauty. “unnie” I hug her tight. She kisses my cheek. “our jiyeonie still look like a baby.. how long it has been since I last saw u?” she say it. “unnie where is ur amazing boyfriend” She smiles widely “We are still in deep love” she happily said. I look at her, she was the one who fulfill the dream of every fan girl, being a girlfriend of their oppas. And hyomin unnie boyfriend is Lee DongHae.

                I ran towards the cinema. I stop and look around for myungsoo. Then I found him sitting on a bench. I go towards him. The light behind him make him like an angel. And I who is going towards him make me feel like a bride. He looks up and smile.

“Soojung-ah she is the one I m talking about”            

               I was blinded by him that I don’t see his girlfriend beside him. That soojung girl give me a smile which looks more like a frown. “oppa blind date for a day?” her tone is quite cold. I saw myungsoo smiling brightly at his girlfriend voice. Why r u making my heart hurt after u make it alive? “Thanks for taking care of myungsoo. I just want to see which kind of girl u r that myungsoo is wiling to spend his time.. and u r not that special” I was totally angry by her comment. I look at myungsoo hoping he would say something but he just remains silence.

             I smile at both of them trying my best to not let my tears out. “So u have met me and I can go back now right?” soojung girl nodded and myungsoo waved at me. And I walk away from them with tear falling down on my cheeks. Until when do I have to watch him while he is not even looking at me? Until when do I have to hopelessly still in love with him?

                 I was on my bed, tissues beside me, earphone in my ear, playing baek jiyoung I wont love , each lyric making me cry my heart out. “without me, don’t love another who isn’t me. If I m able to meet u, if I m able to love u.. I love u was the only thing I wasn’t able to say”

            “JIYEON” howon bursts into my room with an angry tone. He looks at me straight and look confused. “what’s wrong?” I shook my head. “are u crying?” “I just watch a drama” I lied. He believed right away since I cry even watching a cartoon. He plug the ear phone out of my ear.

“now tell me the reason why u r watching a drama and make eunjung wait alone in the dark?”

           I was surprised for a while and I remember eunjung unnie text message. I reach for my phone which I keep it silence and away from me in case he calls me. I saw 20 missed call from eunjung unnie and 13 messages asking me where am I and why I am not answering the phone? I mess my hair feeling frustrated.

         “don’t go now, she has already return home. She call me asking about u so I go there. And she was really feeling down needing someone so badly. I m abit angry that u don’t make it to her. She was crying a lot too. She doesn’t say anything but her tears explain it all. Jiyeon,to be a goodfriend, u have to be there when they need u the most” he says and leave the room.

             “Unnie…” she didn’t reply. “I m sorry” there is still the silence. “I just..just got in to trouble and forget about it..i m really sorry unnie.. can u forgive me? Can I come to u right now?” “don’t” my heart broke at her word.

“I needed u but not more.. and jiyeon even really close people can get drift if they don’t want each other company any more.. I just hope we wont be like that. I don’t want broken promises between us”

              She hangs up on me. “I HATE MYSELF PARK JIYEON U R THE WORST” I shout out crying at the same time. There was a knock on my door as I continue crying loudly. “Whatever u are feeling right now only happen because it is youth. Treasure it, we will never get it when we become adult” howon words were so deep and I never can forget it. 

              “Jiyeoni