I sat on the couch in the living room of his apartment. He was busy preparing orange juice in the kitchen. I keep my eyes off of him to see whether there are scars or not. And no, i didnt see any scars. He seems pretty well and fine. Is this Kai guy lied to me? Or did he asked Kai to lie to me? 

He already finished with his orange juice and bring it to the living room. I looked away, afraid that I would be caught watching him from afar. 

"Less than an hour you arrived here." Smiling, he took a sip of his orange juice. 

I cleared my throat and drink my orange juice. There he is. The smiling eye is back. I am really grateful. "Your friend, Kai, come to the mart this evening. He said you're not feeling well. But, I dont think you're not okay. Did he lied to me?" 

"I am not feeling well, actually. But it gets better now. I am so sorry not contacting you this past three days. It's not because I dont want to, but I dont know how to face you." He look at me. "Leaving you alone that night was really bothering me. But I dont have a choice." He looked away and drink his orange juice.

I keep my eyes on him, waiting for his explanation. 

"My father works at NIS." 

I gulped and surprised at the same time. 

Still not looking at me, he continued, "I am helping my father with his mission. Any kind of mission. As long as my father won't do anything that will hurt him, I will do it instead. I will make sure he's not doing anything dangerous." 

He turned around and looking at me. "You must thought that it would make me in danger instead of my father, right? I dont care, it's my choice to protect him. He's my only family after all. I cant imagine if he could die someday because of his work. I am so coward, I dont want to be someone who will be left out. It's so painful to left by someone, you know? That's what happened to my mom and my hyung. They're died when my father having his mission. My father really depressed back then" 

He drink his orange juice. His voice chocked. I know he was trying to endure all the pain to tell me the truth. I really want to confort him, but I dont know what to do.

"And suddenly, I've met you..." He said, looked at me. "The feeling that I dont want to be left out and the feeling that I dont want to leave you, are mixed into one. It's really frustating me." 

I looked at him, his eyes got teary now. My hands trembled, wanted to calm him down. But in the end, I cant do anything. What am I to make him looked so frustating?

"But you said, you dont like me doing this. You really hate it. Tell me, Naeun-ah, what should I do?" He rubbed his face in frustation. "You... And my father.. you both are my world. Dont tell me to choose between you two." 

Still, I dont know how to react. I am just looking at him, barely know how to comfort him. What should he do? I dont want him to choose between me or his father, but the thought that he will be doing something dangerous really bothered me so much. I hate seeing him hurt, I cant imagine seeing him come to me with bleeding. Why he must suffering like this? Is it because he meet me? His world seems pretty fine before he met me. At least, I will not confused him. 

"I am so sorry, you're suffering so much because you've met me." I said, not even look at his eyes. 

"No. No. Absolutely no, Naeun-ah." He said. "Please, dont think like that. I am not telling this story so you can blame yourself." 

"But..." I look at him whose looking back at me. "You've endured too much pain even before I've met you. I am really sorry. Really." 

"And you're not the pain. You're the hope. For the first time in my life, I dont want to leave someone behind me." 

"But... Why? Why me?" 

Smiling, he chuckles. I am glad he's smiling now. "Do you really need an answer for that? I think it is said that liking someone doesn't need a reason." 

"No. Love is. Love doesn't need a reason" I refuted him and drink my orange juice.

"Is that so? I must be fell in love with you, then." 

I almost chocked my drink and cleared my throat. "But it really doesnt make sense. We barely know each other, we just met several times. And to say that you like me was impossible." 

"Listen, Naeun-ah. I dont want you to ask me this later too. Asking why somebody likes you was not a question with an answer." 

We looked at each other. Although I'm still curious about the reason why he likes me, I decided not to ask anymore. Also the fact that I am running all the way here because I heard he doesn't feeling well was the proof that I am worried and cared about him. Why I worried? Because I like him, too. Why I like him? I also didn't know the reason why. 

"So...dont give me hope. If you're not like me, you better tell me as soon as possible. Dont leave me in confusion. I hate it." He drink his orange juice and smile.

​​​​Can't he get what I am feeling right now? He's slower than I thought. "I.... Like......it" 

I cound sense that his cheekbones high up. Practically, he will tease me out.

"What? What do you like? Orange juice?" He asked and now look at me, showing his smiling eyes. My face was really red right now. He do understand what I am talking about, why always tease me like this. "Can you put some more detail?" He asked curiously. 

"Huh?" I am hearing my heart beat so fast and I cant look at him. 

"Do you really like orange juice? How much?" 

"I said I like you."