"Was that last recording good?" 

"Yeah, we can wrap up now."

I hang up the black headphones and step out of the booth. Jihoon takes his eyes off the sound waves on the computer screen and looks in my direction. "You've made a lot of progress these past few weeks." 

"Well, I couldn't have done it without a great vocal coach." I praise him with a playful wink.

I'm still a trainee - in some aspects - despite debuting, so working with Jihoon to practice and track my progress through past recordings is helping me improve.

"Are you sure you don't know what happened to Seungkwan?" Jihoon brings up what we talked about before starting, Seungkwan was supposed to practice with him before me.

"No idea, it was really weird. We were all waiting for him for 10 minutes, then I sent everyone else home to wait alone and he still didn't show up. He wasn't picking up his phone or responding to any messages. I just hope he hasn’t done anything stupid, I’m worried sick if I’m being honest."

Talking about Seungkwan seems to have summoned him.

"Hi, sorry I'm late." I sigh an internal sigh of relief before looking at him closely. His face is covered in bruises and cuts and he’s sporting a large black eye.

"Did you manage to get in a car crash between here and school?" Jihoon shows concern while I rush over to Seungkwan to assess the damage.

"What the hell happened to you?" Is this related to that bruise from last week? There's no way I'm letting him off now.

“Stop fussing! I’m fine!” He says, while looking the farthest from fine I’ve seen him in my entire life. “Just had a not so little accident with some stairs, the thing that’s hurt most is my pride.”

Normally I would laugh, but that doesn’t seem right.

"Practice can wait, lets get you cleaned up." Jihoon saves the progress on the computer then shuts it down. The three of us leave in a search for first aid.

"Something’s going on.” Standing next to Jihoon behind the sofa while Jeonghan patches Boo up, I tell him what I think. 

“Yeah, stairs don’t give someone those kinds of injuries.” Jihoon agrees.

“He had this bruise a few days ago and when I asked he got super defensive. Now this happens and he tries to cover it up all together. Is someone’s doing this to him?"

“He can’t keep things like this to himself. But if there’s anyone he’ll open up to, it’s you.”

Seeing the amount of dried blood and bruises scattered across Seungkwan’s body puts me on edge. This is serious, he has to tell me what’s going on. No more secrets.

Jeonghan finishes fixing Seungkwan up, so the four of us turn up at dance practice a few minutes late, Seungkwan’s condition sparing us a scolding from Seungcheol.

In between our group practices, some of us use the break time to finish homework or fit in some studying.

Seungkwan, Vernon and I quickly group together, trying to do the most with our limited time. We get out the books for our respective subjects and get started.

After doing  a few questions, I drop my pen and look over to Seungkwan. He furrows his brow and chews the end of his pencil, staring at a question he’s trying to make sense of.

"You know I'm always here for you, right? If anything happens you can tell me."

"Mmhmm.” He doesn’t take his eyes off the paper.

"Did you really fall down the stairs?”

“Yes.” He responds sharply, eyes still fixed.

"I’m not stupid Seungkwan, what really happened?”

"Nothing happened. Why can’t you just leave it?” His short answers have been replaced with ones filled with frustration.

“Did you really think you’d turn up looking like this and no one would say a thing? We’re worried about you, I’m worried about you.”

“Well there’s no need for you to be. I’m not a little kid, I can handle my own problems.” He bites.

“But you don’t need to. We’re a team, we look out for each other. Let me help you.” Seungkwan perceives my words as patronising, this makes him snap.

“You just can’t leave it, can you? Why can’t you get it in your thick skull that this is to do with me and not you? I’m not a baby, you’re not my mother. I don’t need you or your stupid help.” He bursts with plenty of mindless insults.

“Stupid? So it’s stupid for me to care? It’s stupid for me to be worried when you look like you’ve been beaten near to death? Fine then, since you’re such a big man deal with it yourself. See if I care.” I shout back equally spiteful, if not more.

His ‘mature’ response is to throw his books off his lap like the baby he claims he’s not and stomp out the practice room. Vernon goes after him a few seconds after, leaving me alone half angry half shocked at how bad that went.

Things calm down after a few minutes and practice starts again, but there’s a new feeling of tension in the air. Seungkwan and I don’t speak for the rest of the session, but to be fair there’s not much of a chance for that when we’re busy practicing.

I try to see where we’re at when it’s time to go back to the dorm, but he walks straight past me before I can say a word.

The silent treatment? Really? If that’s how he wants to play then that’s his own business.

“You good?” Wonwoo checks up on me while we walk home. 

“Been better. This whole thing is just stupid.”

“People say things they don’t mean when emotions run high, I’m sure Seungkwan will see sense soon enough.” He tries to make me stay positive. “Um, is that my hoodie?”

“... Maybe.”

“I’ve been looking for that everywhere, could swear it was Mingyu who got his hands on it.”

“But it’s so warm and fluffy.” I exaggerate the light autumn night breeze into a fierce wind as an excuse to snuggle into it.

“I guess I could loan it to you if you like it that much. Between you and Mingyu, I’ll have no clothes left.” He laughs.

It’s a strange and lonely 4 days  Seungkwan started blanking me. Once the anger wore off, the realisation of what this meant fully hit me. I never knew how much I really talked and interacted with him until I suddenly couldn’t. So many little things I couldn’t share because they wouldn’t make sense to anyone else. It just hurt a lot.

We’re having our first awkward school lunch. This situation has unintentionally split our friend group as he talks to Vernon and Chan on one side of the table while I talk to Pinky, Eunwoo and Yebin on the other.

“Well, well, well, this doesn’t look so cozy.” The last thing I need is Delilah waltzing in.

“Just leave it, Delilah.” I don’t want to hear what she has to say.

“Aww, have you two had a fight? A little lover’s quarrel?” She cackles while ruffing up Seungkwan’s hair. He flinches to her touch before succumbing to the treatment, never making eye contact.

“I’m only joking, I know you two aren’t dating. This one here wouldn’t make much of a boyfriend. What kind of guy can’t even defend himself?” With that, her and her posse stroll away to wreak havoc on some other poor group.

Her comment about Seungkwan not being able to defend himself affects him as now he doesn’t speak at all. I can’t even cheer him up, for goodness sake.

So is there a rumour going around that Seungkwan got beaten up? That doesn’t help things either. Does Delilah know something I don’t? The matter of fact way she said Seungkwan couldn’t defend himself must mean she knows something. Was a brutish boyfriend of hers behind it? Even if Seungkwan’s not speaking to me, I’ll still find out who did it.

But no, that can’t be it. She wouldn’t go out with anyone in this school. I remember her comment about her giving me what I deserve from a few weeks ago, did she send someone on him?

He flinched. 

He flinched when she went to touch him. She did this, she’s the one who abused Seungkwan.

“Was it her?” I ask, voice shaky from the realisation. Seungkwan says nothing.

“Was it her?!” I shout, standing up swiftly and banging my fists on the table. 

“P-please, just leave it.” The first words he’s said to me in a week and they’re filled with fear. His eyes are watering with tears, he’s scared.

Because of what she did.

I’m off so quick I don’t even realise it. My heart is racing while my head overflows with emotion. 

“I won’t let her get away with this!” I’m making a scene, but it doesn’t matter. Nothing matters because I’m the reason my best friend got beat up. She got her revenge on me by taking it out on him.

Pinky holds me back by my arm. “Cami, no, this isn’t the way to fix this. We can go to guidance, tell a teacher.”

“No. This is between me and her.” I tug my arm away and walk fast and hard, my fury guiding me from here on out. 

She’ll pay for this, I’ll make sure of it.

-

“Hey!” I yell, marching along the gritty ground towards Delilah and her group behind the school. She takes one last draw of her cigarette before flicking it away to replace it with a stick of gum, that stupid smug look on her face I want to slap off so badly.

“What the hell do you think you’re playing at?!” Right in her face I scream, standing my ground.

“Whoa there.” She sticks her hand in front of my face. “Looks like the little kitty finally grew some claws.” Her friends laugh at her half assed comment. “What are you even talking about?”

“You know EXACTLY what I’m talking about. How dare you lay a finger on my friend you poisonous, demented, psychotic witch!” 

“Big words.” She leans into my face. “But can you stand by them?” Her breath reeks of a toxic mixture of tar and bubblegum.

Delilah crosses her arms and huffs. “I didn’t do anything. It was self defence, right ladies?” They all nod along.

“Your little friend had the nerve to come up to threaten me, telling me to leave you alone. Isn’t that verbal abuse?” The girls all nod along.

“And we all know how much I hate being told what to do, so we had to teach him a lesson, didn’t we ladies?” They all start laughing, my body starts to go numb.

N-no.

“So yeah, I did rough him up, but not just once. We really had to get it in his head that he can’t speak to me like that.”

He was trying to stand up for me.

“He probably loved it anyway.”

“W-what?” 

“I said, he probably loved it.” She emphasises her words. “Most female attention he’s gotten in his entire life. Even if it did involve him getting the kicked out of him.”

I can feel the tears running down my cheeks, my breathing now broken and heavy. I cover my face and turn around to run away, but a sharp pain on my scalp ends up with me yelping and falling backwards onto the ground.

“Oh, you’re not going anywhere.” Delilah grinds her shoe into my hair, spitting her gum onto my face as she looks over me.

“You two are just the same, thinking you can speak to me however you like.” The other girls begin to circle around me.

“You thought what we did to him was bad? Just wait until I’m done with you.” She finishes her sentence with a kick to my head.