He is not here anymore. He is not lying beside me. He is not sitting on the couch. He is not watching me sleeping. He is nowhere to be found.

He is gone.

I smile bitterly, I should have known. This is the reality, he had left me before, it’s not too hard to do it again. I lean my body on the bed headboard, closing my eyes tightly, trying to hold in my tears, my lips quivering. I have to be strong, I hate it when I’m so weak like this.

How could he affect me this much?

I run to the bathroom as I let out everything that I ate. I even let myself got that drunk, gosh I can't believe this. I’m a health freak, but I gulped down the alcohol like it was water. I brush my teeth as I wash up my face. I look myself in the mirror, I see a stranger, she is not me.

Kwon Yuri wouldn’t be this screwed up.

But then, who am I to judge anyway? I don’t even understand myself, I don’t even know what’s going on with me. Biting my lip, I glance behind the empty room, was it just my imagination? Was it all just a dream because I’m too drunk?

The time seems to tick so slowly as my knees are shaking and eventually I can’t even standing properly as I do what I usually do, letting the tears out again as I crouch down over the bathroom floor, sobbing like there’s no tomorrow.

He just came and left me all alone again. Why did he do that to me? Was watching me in pain was just a show to him?

Lee Donghae, maybe I just need to erase you in my life, so I can finally be happy. Tell me, is that what you want?

♡☆♡
 

“Please, help me, Jessica.”

"No, I don't want to."

"Please, I don't want her to be alone."

"Then why don't you stay beside her?" Jessica raises her tone up on the other side of the call as he sighs in desperation. 

"I can't, I-"

"No excuses, Lee Donghae!" The doctor closes her eyes in an attempt to calm down and continues, "You said that she saw you already, that you guys even interacted, how could you just left her again?"

"I didn't leave! I'm outside of her room, but-"

"Then man up and face her! I don't know what problem you have right now, but is it more important than her? What will happen if she wakes up and you're nowhere to be found? Don't you think about the pain that she'd feel again because of you? She never forgets you, Donghae. She always loves you, how could you do that to her when you're also so in love with her? Why let her suffer? Why?"

He could only look down at both of his feet as the guilt starts to come again. All that he thinks about is how he'd take revenge for his mother and that'd end up having his loved one's brother in jail. Wouldn't that hurt Yuri more? So if he disappears forever and leaves their family alon