Junmyeon had said ‘yes’ to Luhan’s request however the actual beginning of the said talk was taking far too long for it to start. It was getting a little too awkward and Junmyeon just stood in front of his window, looking at Luhan, trying to push the man into saying something with his eyes.

It was kind of suffocating and the air around them felt heavy, as if something big was about to crash upon them by mere words, at least, Junmyeon felt like that.

Luhan had opened up his mouth countless times, only to make it shut itself soon after; he was nervous and the words in his head were all mixed up and tangled and it was getting hard to be coherent. He breathed slowly a couple of times, to calm himself, before speaking, deciding to be truthful instead of just stating beautiful prose.

“You’re not dead!!

The words had been blurted in such a way that they had startled Junmyeon, leading him to raise his eyebrows in confusion. Luhan seemed to understand the impact of his words pretty much after he had spoken them and he backtracked really quickly.

“What I meant to say is that you are not dead, you are alive and I’m glad. I am really glad.”

“Well… you said that already! Kind of, when you found me on the ceramics room…”

“Yes but that was then! I looked at you and I was glad that I’d met you and that you weren’t another corpse fallen on the corridors like I’d seen. The adrenaline in my body was able to process the okay part but it didn’t quite alert me to the fact that, at the moment, you were not safe; you weren’t still out of danger. Only afterwards, when we were at the hospital and I saw you move, with your usual kindness, caring and checking on everybody, only when I saw you lying down on that couch, beneath a pile of blanket did it hit me: you could’ve died today! You could’ve die and today could be the last day that I ever saw you. But, you’re not harmed, you are here and you are safe and you’re healthy. And I’m so, so glad.”

It had been a crude way to say it and Luhan’s logic made no sense at all except for the fact that it actually did. While they met each other inside that building, still in danger; still in a situation of life or dead, it was easy to feel relieved that you were breathing but, later on, when everyone got out and saw friends and family, got helped and treated, and laid his head down to sleep, was the moment were you relieved what you just been though and realized how lucky you were to be alive; how lucky you were just to be able to see another person look at you, smell her, hear her…You felt glad she was breathing but in a completely new way that you could only have glimpsed hours back.

Junmyeon looked at Luhan, eyes wide and still uncertain. While he did understand the point Luhan was trying to make, the other male had, indeed made his point across, several times throughout the day and it was unnerving to still have him looking at him like he was doing now, in a way that it reached it soul and ripped him apart from all the secrets he was trying to hide.

“I get what you’re trying to say, I really do. I, myself, cannot believe that every single one of us is okay and is sleeping safely away…”

Luhan didn’t even let Junmyeon finish.

“That’s where I was trying to go with this conversation, although I really was expecting to reach it much later into it but today…tonight, everyone out there almost lost a loved one and it is now sleeping away. But there is a thing that it is differentiating them for you and I!”

“The fact that they are actually asleep and we aren’t?” asked Junmyeon, trying to give some humor to the tense atmosphere. Luhan smiled a little, a brief thing that glimpsed through his mouth before he regained his seriousness.

“I was actually referring to the fact that everyone is sleeping with his loved ones except for us.”

The sentence had been said in a very soft tone, almost a whisper, so very different from the bold and vibrant Luhan he was used to. It had been such a ride and such a journey between the two of them, with the shy and awkward Junmyeon, who lived by his parents rules and only did the socially acceptable, and with Luhan, the millionaire who lost someone and became eager to live a full, joyous life, doing what he liked and not what people wanted him to; knowing each other by some mere oddness of destiny, through a pseudo- in a club, where he was reunited with an old friend and make some new ones.

He had transformed into a more resourceful type of man, breaking ties with the people who had brought him to this world. It was great and he felt more complete than he had been however, he felt like he didn’t know himself anymore. Like there was a mirror showing him a new image of himself that his brain couldn’t really translate into something that made sense. Maybe the mirror was foggy, maybe it was his own mind not decoding everything he saw. His head was still confused and, while he had some clues here and there, it wasn’t, not even close, enough for him.

Luhan, who he had let go once, even after they managed to settle things between them, was now in front of him, eyes begging, and baring his soul to him. Junmyeon knew what to expect from the conversation, he just wasn’t sure if he was going to be prepared for it.

“This situation…”began Luhan uncertainly, a trait that wasn’t used that often to define the man, coloring his tone of voice. “Everything that happened today only came to reassure what I have known for a while and that is that I love you. You know that, I made it clear more than once. We talked about it and last time, I just let you go because I needed to understand, by myself, what I wanted and that I needed you in my life. You told me to allow you to leave last time that we both needed to follow our own paths and I agreed, I said yes because it was what you wanted and because I felt we needed the space to grow and to realize we are meant to be together. You said that if were really meant to be together our paths would cross again. They did! Today our paths crossed again and I almost lost you and I cannot deal without you. I can’t say I need you because that feels so vulgar and you’re not a necessity. I choose to want you, I choose you.”

Junmyeon stood, frozen in his spot as Luhan approached him rapidly, clearly not knowing what to say, which wasn’t, at all that important, since Luhan wrapped his arms around his waist, pulling him forward and kissing him with so passionately that all thoughts that previously swam through his mind vanished, at the simple touch of Luhan’s velvety lips.

There soft and loving caresses mixing with delightful and languid of tongue that sent shivers down his spine and made a low, bright burning ember enflame on the pit of his stomach. It was delicious and it was driving Junmyeon insane.

Luhan’s hands were trailing up and down gently, pulling a little of Junmyeon’s shirt up to caress the skin, the soft supple skin. Junmyeon panted and moaned a little into Luhan’s mouth, while his hands were opening and closing into the blonde’s shirt, trying to contain the sounds he was letting out to not wake the others up.

However, Junmyeon knew, in the very back of his mind, that it had to stop. There was something that he had yet to reveal to Luhan, something that very few people. This secret he had could possibly threaten his whole relationship with Luhan, although he had to admit he wasn’t exactly planning to just be held at gun point, of sorts, inside a school and almost die; he really wasn’t expecting that to be the situation where he would’ve cross paths with Luhan, especially not after their last conversation. Heck, he wasn’t even expecting to be in contact with the man so soon!

With a lot of difficulty Junmyeon pulled back, interrupting the kiss, letting his lips linger the tiniest fraction just to keep the wonderful sensation coursing through him. When he stopped, breathe ragged, he stopped Luhan from nuzzling into him, holding the blonde’s face until it was at a fair distance from his.

“We can’t!” he whispered.

Luhan stopped, frozen, at Junmyeon’s words. For a brief moment, he actually thought that the other was playing with him but the grim, sad expression on Junmyeon’s face was telling him that it was not the case.

“Junmyeon?” he asked tentatively, his tone questioning the man.

Junmyeon didn’t answer, choosing to squeeze his eyes shut, breathing through his mouth and trying to calm himself down to reveal what he had too.

“Junmyeon, what are you talking about? Why can’t we?” insisted Luhan, a little desperate at the lack of an answer. “Give me one good reason to why can’t we? Because last time we had a talk you told me that if we were meant to be you would stop fighting it!”

“I know! I know I did but, to tell the truth, I wasn’t really expecting that things were going to be proven so clearly so fast! It’s not that I don’t love you, I do; I do and I hope you know that, I not giving those words lightly, I need you to understand this. But…”

“But what, Junmeyon?” asked Luhan, his voice sounding so wrecked and his fingers still wrapped so tightly on Junmyeon’s clothes, possibly to hold onto him; to prevent him to be gone. Junmyeon winced at the other’s tone, not wanting to hurt Luhan but already doing it.

“But I’ve changed.” Replied Junmyeon very softly, almost in a whisper, looking into Luhan’s eyes. “I’ve changed. All that is happening, ever since I met you, has changed me somehow; I am not the same person you knew anymore. I am not the person I knew anymore. It’s confusing, I feel like I am on the other side looking in and that I am still trying to find answers for myself and yet I still need to keep in contact with the rest of you.”

Luhan nodded. While he didn’t exactly liked the way this was going, he understood that there were too many things happening to Junmyeon right now: he was finally stepping up as the brother Jongdae knew, defending him and Chanyeol like a tiger from his parents, parents with whom he had cut all ties, as far as Luhan knew, the raven haired man had not talked with them ever since the failed dinner. He was also fostering Baekhyun, of sorts, and trying to help the younger overcome all his problems and up on his feet, romantic and otherwise. He almost died today and he was trying to prove himself and his value against others, showing them that he wasn’t the spoiled man they thought they knew. It wasn’t easy at all.

“I need to understand myself better. I need to understand my motivations, myself and what I want for life and from life.”

“And why is that a problem?” asked Luhan.

“I quit my job and three days from now I will be entering a plane, with a one way ticket to Thailand.” Blurted Junmyeon.

He felt Luhan’s fingers releasing his shirt and the blonde taking a few steps back, eyes wide and mouth open.

“Are you leaving us?” he asked, shocked to the core at the news revealed by Junmyeon.

“I am not leaving. I am doing something that Jongdae recommended to me. I am going to make a journey to find more about myself and I will be taking as long as I need to do so. I need to do this. I need to understand me before I can give myself to others. I see that everything is taken care of before I go. This house is under Baekhyun’s name now, it’s his and Minseok’s and Sehun’s. It took a while to convince them but they understood my motives and complied with my wishes.”

“I understand why you are doing this. I understand your motives and I respect them. But I don’t get why didn’t you wait… why didn’t you talk to me! We could go together.”

“We can’t, Luhan. We can’t.”

“And why the hell not?” asked Luhan a surge of anger rising inside his chest, voice getting louder and louder as he spoke. “It feels as if you are purposely trying to leave me behind, again and again and again.”

“It’s not like that Luhan; not at all but please understand that right know I feeling a little lost and I need to find more about myself before I can do anything else, even be with you.”

“You’re leaving me!” protested Luhan firmly, almost hissing out the words.

“No!” spat Junmyeon, getting a little tired of Luhan’s sharp words and false accusations. “I am not leaving you. I am leaving everyone in here, I am leaving every single person that I care about and I am about to leave everything that I am familiar with, to do this, because I need this. I get how you’re feeling but don’t think this is any easier for me.”

They both stood panting, staring at each other, cheeks flushed, not even caring about the tones of their voices anymore since they were already talking so loudly that in a minute, Baekhyun and Jongdae appeared in the doorway, since they were probably the fewer ones that weren’t soaked in sleeping pills or painkillers.

“What’s going on?” asked Jongdae from the doorway, Baekhyun by his side, looking at the scene with a nervous air about him that Junmyeon knew far too well; if anything, Baekhyun had always been sensitive to loud noises and large movements: it scared him.

“Nothing!” replied Luhan with a blank tone. “Nothing is going on and nothing ever will.”

“Don’t say that Luhan…” begged Junmyeon. “Wait a little longer please!”

Luhan didn’t reply, he began walking forward instead, ignoring Junmyeon’s pleas to stop and put on his shoes, walking out the door and slamming it behind him with a loud sound, that made the three men standing there flinch violently.

“Junmyeon?” asked Jongdae worried for his brother. “What’s going on? Is everything okay?”

Junmyeon honestly felt like crying; he wasn’t expecting that the man would react this badly, nor he expected him to be so closed minded, not when he had been so honest and told him the truth before something happened, explaining the reasons to which had led him to make such decision.

However, he held on, partially because he was feeling far too empty: Luhan had left without even looking back, without understanding him and respecting his wishes, his will to find himself; but the biggest part let itself fall into his brother’s arms and remind himself that he was still loved and that they were right here, with him, supporting him: his friends, the family he had conquered.

“Whatever happened,” said Baekhyun’s soothing voice as he wrapped Junmyeon in his arms. “happened. Junmyeon, everything is okay to be okay, everything can be solved, in harder or easier ways. I assume that this was about your impeding trip, I am right?”

Junmyeon nodded. Jongdae might be his brother and know everything about him, he knew him inside and out, but Baekhyun had a very refined tuning when it came to Junmyeon, allowing him to understand what was happening to the man before anyone else did. Junmyeon thought that it might had something to do with the fact that they were close and that the younger man had spent so many times observing others that it was almost natural for him. Both of them knew about his trip, Jongdae had advised him and Baekhyun had supported his decision.

“And for some reason he was upset by it. However, what you need to understand is that while you want it, you don’t need his approval for doing something for you, something that will benefit you, something that you need. In my opinion, right now he is a little angry at the fact that what he envisioned isn’t happening, however, when he calms down, he will realize that he was in the wrong and that he should trust and respect your wishes more. Do what you need Junmyeon, not what he wants him to do because of something you want, but you don’t desperately need. Do something you need in order to receive what you want, okay?”

The calm and sure tone of voice was enough to make Junmyeon settle a little. He knew that Baekhyun was right because the kid was so smart and down to Earth. Even Jongdae looked very impressed at the other’s mature and sensible words, muttering something along the lines of Baekhyun being a ‘walking auto help book’ which made everyone laugh.

With gentle hands, Junmyeon was guided to the couch were he had been sleeping, making him sit and sitting next to him, covering themselves up with the blankets and falling asleep, entwined and warm, and, despite all the sadness that Luhan had caused him, Junmyeon found it rather easy to succumb to sleep, his mind feeling too tired to fight it.

In the morning, when people began leaving their rooms, they were greeted with the sight of the three men sleeping peacefully on the couch, looking perfectly content, if not the tale telling sight of it being a comforting gesture rather than anything else.

Of Luhan’s presence, the only thing that was remained was the blankets on the floor, by the other couch, cold and very much deserted.

Luhan sat on a corner on Baekhyun’s workplace, alone, at near closing time, hoping to find some time to talk with the small man.

It had been a month since the shooting at college and approximately three and a half weeks since Junmyeon had packed his bags and had gone on his trip; his trip to Thailand and whichever country he decided to go to next, to reconnect with himself and find out more about who he was, what he wanted and overall reflect upon his life.

He hadn’t gone to the airport to say goodbye no matter how many text messages Minseok and Yixing had sent him. He refused to pretend to support something that didn’t make sense to him.

At least, that was what he thought.

At first he ignored all of Junmyeon’s attempts to talk to him, angry and frustrated at the conversation they had. Then, when Junmyeon had left, the anger was neatly balanced with a sense of sadness and loss that he couldn’t quite shake off. Now, almost a month after, there was no trace of the anger he previously felt, all of it being replaced with feelings of regret, loss and sadness.

Junmyeon regretted so much all he had said to the man; every single word. He now realized that he had been so focused on his happiness and finding a place beside Junmyeon that he overlooked the other’s own happiness. Junmyeon had told him that he needed this to understand himself better and Luhan had ditched him and got angry at him. He felt so ashamed.

Now? Now Junmyeon was away, without him, and it was his fault that he felt a gaping hole on in chest, right on the huge spot he had reserved for Junmyeon and it was solely his fault.

He tried to put the blame on someone else, to alleviate the guilt he felt but he knew, deep down inside, that he had been the one to turn the other down, to neglect his own wishes. Junmyeon told him the truth, asked him to wait for him and he said no. And now he was paying for it.

He sighed into his cup, not noticing when Kyungsoo and Yifan, best friends of Junmyeon, sat in front of him, little Tao running towards Baekhyun, who was working, delighted to see one of his favorite people in the world.

Kyungsoo had a blank expression on his face and it frankly scared Luhan a little. If he ever though that Jongdae was scary, primarily because he was Junmyeon’s brother but also because he has a dry sense of humor and a wicked tongue that held back at nothing, Kyungsoo was ten times worst. He short man feasted on fear! He already had few little motives to like Luhan and that added to the man’s own no nonsense attitude, Luhan had to say he was pretty much in a state of panic when he noticed the big eyed beauty sitting in front of him. His only pleasure, at the moment, was the fact that Yifan was not with him; imagine if that obnoxious giant teacher was also here to support him husband’s words, with some nods and short sentences filled with sarcasm and dry, dark humor, that always left him feeling quite empty and embarrassed.

He looked over at Kyungsoo, who was staring at him without blinking, and after a few uncomfortable moments of silence, he decided to say something.

“What do I owe this pleasure Kyungsoo?”

“You can cut the pleasantries Luhan. I only came because I received a call from Baekhyun who told me you were here moping. Therefore I decided to kill two birds with one stone: I brought Tao to see Baekhyun, and I came to kick you on the behind for being a stupid .”

Luhan winced at the words, not denying that they were very much well deserved. He glanced at Baekhyun, who wasn’t looking at him but instead walking around the shop with Tao on his arms, showing him all the things around the shop. If his poly friends, Minseok, Sehun and Baekhyun, ever decided to be parents, Luhan would fully support them: Baekhyun would be an amazing father.

He looked back at Kyungsoo, who had those dark eyes looking at him impassively, and he sighs, a deep sound that came from deep within his chest, making Kyungsoo’s eyebrow shot up.

“Look Kyungsoo, I know why you are here…”

“Do you?” asked Kyungsoo calmly thanking to Cheolyong who brought him a cup of steaming black coffee.

“I do! You are here because I was an idiot and I hurt Junmyeon.”

“Hmmm…” hummed Kyungsoo sipping his coffee. “Yes, that’s it. But it is also not. First of all, while I would tremendously like to point out how amazingly dumb you were for not listening to Junmyeon and possibly ruin all your chances with him, I think Baekhyun would be mad at me since he call me to cheer you up rather than just simply let you wallow in your misery. You were a and I think you know that, so I won’t add that much more salt into the wound. I am here to check on you. Assessing how are you…”

“You were sent!”

“True, but I am here nonetheless! And while it is true that Baekhyun asked me to talk with you, Junmyeon also asked me if you were okay. And you can’t bet your that if it wasn’t for my best friend and cute pup over there, we wouldn’t be having this conversation.”

That little bit of information was more than enough to have Luhan sitting sharply, breathe knocked out of his chest at the name.

“You talked to Junmyeon?”

“Of course I did! He’s my best friend and there is a thing called technology that actually helps us talk to him even if he is miles away. Every one of us keeps contact with him. ” Told him Kyungsoo with a condescending, very patronizing tone of voice, as if he was talking to a child.

For a moment Luhan’s face fell. Knowing that Junmyeon kept contact with everyone except him. Kyungsoo could tell with just a look at his face.

“You aren’t allowed to feel bad or angry at it: it was your own fault. I know how devastated he was when you didn’t show up at the airport to say goodbye and lord knows how he felt when you walked out on him. So that face has to go before I punch the heck out of you! You have no right!” snapped Kyungsoo, eyes burning even if his expression was still carefully blank.

“I know! I know! I am not saying that you wrong! I never did; I just feel stupid. I was so angry at that time and I didn’t even have a reason to. I just wanted him so badly and I was so blind by my wished that I neglected him and his wishes! I know that and I am paying for it now!” rasped Luhan, his voice a wrecked mess.

Kyungsoo said nothing but he stared at the man with an undecipherable look. Luhan was the picture of misery and the raven haired man could tell that Luhan was really feeling sorry for what he had done, also Baekhyun assured him so and he fully trusted the younger, it was really obvious. So, just this time, for the sake of it, he would never admit that having Baekhyun on the other side of the counter, glaring at him, which he didn’t even know it was possible, made him act kindly instead of tearing Luhan apart, which was what he wanted.

Without much of a word, he picked an envelope from the inside pocket of his jacket and made it slide on top of the table to Luhan.

“The first time I properly met you, I thought you would be good for Junmyeon. You had something about you that brought Myeon to life and it was great to see it. At the moment I don’t have a favorable opinion on you but, I’ll give you an opportunity to fix things up. Only one more! Do not mess it up or I’ll make sure you never see Junmyeon again.”

The man stood up from the table, taking his coffee with him and joining Baekhyun, cooing softly at his son, who giggled at the sight of his father before hiding his face on Baekhyun’s neck playfully.

Luhan stared at the envelope as if it might bite him, which an option he didn’t dare to exclude since it came from Kyungsoo, before opening the envelope, pulling the creamy colored card inside.

Park Chanyeol & Kim Jongdae

Request the pleasure of your company at the celebration of their union…

Luhan looked up from the card sharply and into Kyungsoo’s eyes, who were staring at him kindly; far more kindly than he expected, his lips moving and forming a sentence that Luhan’s read.

“Don’t mess it up.”

He nodded. He wouldn’t! He couldn’t! This was Junmyeon they were talking about and Junmyeon was everything.

Luhan stood in the middle of garden of the private venue that was going to hold Jongdae and Chanyeol’s wedding ceremony plus the wedding reception, near the elegant chairs where the guests were sitting upon.

He had already seen Minseok and Sehun, both looking absolutely dashing in charcoal and black suits, respectively. He spied Yifan talking to Yixing and Jongin, who had recently gotten engaged too and made a move to walk over to them until he saw Kyungsoo joining them, which made him stop in his way and move himself to the gentleman that was serving drinks in a table nearby, hoping to tame the blazing sun and the hotness he was feeling, underneath the layers of his own suit.

He had hoped to see Junmyeon somewhere and talk to him, he knew the man had returned for his brother’s wedding, although he wasn’t sure where or when; Baekhyun had been a good source, revealing bits and pieces of news he learned from Junmyeon but not revealing enough for Luhan’s tasting, his pout only got him so far with Baekhyun before Minseok or Sehun, looked at him pointedly, demanding him to stop harassing their lover.

Baekhyun, whom he saw standing next to Chanyeol, best man duties, he supposed since Baekhyun was Chanyeol’s best friend, was looking all sorts of enchanting on a black suit with a beautiful bluish tint to it that made his fair complexion and his dark hair glow, making him look like a nymph. He was adjusting the small boutonniere, made out of baby’s breathe, on Chanyeol’s lapel.

If there was an image that could be the definition of happiness, it would certainly be a picture of Chanyeol at this precise moment. It was kind of weird that he didn’t seem anxious or nervous but he guesses that when people were meant to be like he and Jongdae were, there was nothing to fear. The tall man looked devastatingly handsome in an all-black suit and his hair slicked back, showing his elf like ears. Luhan almost snorted: an elf and a nymph, how funny.

A tall woman with a clipboard on her hand began roaming around asking everybody to sit down that the groom was ready and the ceremony was about to begin, making everyone rush to find a good seat or, at least, and in his case, a good shade beneath one of the threes to watch the ceremony.

The sweet sound of a love song began to play on the speakers, since neither Chanyeol nor Jongdae wanted a live band, and from afar, stepping down the stairs, came a little Tao, who was dressed up in white and baby blue, looking all sorts of adorable, with Junmyeon by the hand, both throwing flowers in the air, although for Junmyeon it was more for Tao’s sake than anything else. As soon as little Tao spotted someone interesting in the crowd, he broke down in a run, bypassing his parents and throwing himself at Baekhyun, who crouched down to pick him up while everyone laughed at the little boy.

Luhan’s breathe got caught in his lungs as he saw Junmyeon, beautiful Junmyeon who looked so very happy. He was a little different than what Luhan remembered six months ago, there was more definition to his body; sure, he has always been lithe and lean but now there was solid muscle underneath the baby pink shirt he paired with a light grey suit. His dark hair, which was styled up, looked a few shades lighter and his skin a little more tanned, really bringing out the few freckled he had on the bridge of his nose and cheekbones. He looked so gorgeous, so vivacious and happy and bright that it actually made Luhan take a step forward in his direction, if not for the fact that Yixing, god knows where he came from, stopped him, shaking his head.

“Don’t do this now.” Told him the man “Wait for the right moment.”

For an instant Luhan had the mind to rebel against the man’s words but instead he let himself fall into the hard chest behind him, elegantly and boldly dressed in a black suit with vertical and horizontal white dashed lines, largely spaced from each other, giving an impression of outlined squares.

The came Jongdae, looking beautiful in an all-white suit contrast to Chanyeol’s black. He went down the stairs elegantly, his light brown hair styled up, showcasing his similarities with his brother. He could only maintain his composure for so much because when he saw Chanyeol, his eyes sparkled happily before he threw a hearty laugh and ran the rest of the way, making everyone ‘aww’ at them, especially when he flew into Chanyeol’s arms, who caught him delightedly.

Junmyeon was standing as the best man to Jongdae and, as much as it was Chanyeol and Jongdae’s wedding, for all the ceremony part, Luhan could not take his eyes of him. Only when the grooms kissed he snapped out of his daze, clapping like the rest of the guests.

The wedding reception was a new thing all together; he sat on the same table as his friends: Yixing, Jongin, who Luhan just now realized it was wearing the same outfit as Yixing but with the colors reversed, Yifan, Kyungsoo, Sehun and Minseok, and he tried hard to gain the attention of Junmyeon but the man was busy either talking to all of the guest or helping his brother and, his now official, brother-in-law. Also, the times he did try and approach the man, there was always something to stop him, generally a tipsy aunt from Chanyeol’s side or his friends.

It wasn’t until the dance floor was opened, Jongdae and Chanyeol presenting everyone with a waltz, surprising people at their grace, since none of them was known for being very good dancers, that Baekhyun pulled him to the side and told him that Junmyeon had been to the garden to enjoy a little fresh air, and run away from all the female cousins, the many female cousins, that Chanyeol had, before he was swept away for a dance by Sehun.

He found Junmyeon outside, near a cute little gazebo, fanning himself, the hot night air doing nothing to cool his form. There was a slight smile in his face as he looked into the night sky, a good memory probably looming around his head.

Luhan tried not to make a noise, approaching Junmyeon in a silent way but Junmyeon. Blame whatever sixth sense he had, turned to look at him, an inviting yet guarded smile on his face.

“Luhan.” He greeted, the voice with the same pleasant lilt it always had. “How have you been doing?”

Luhan approached, using the opportunity to his very light turquoise blazer. His suit hadn’t been a very conventional color and he had turned many heads tonight but none of those heads where important to him.

“I have been doing good…Started out a work as a psychologist at Sehun’s college, pretty much after the shooting. I think it’s good, I feel a sense of completion and pride when I go to work. I still like to go and dance at night on Yixing’s bar.”

Junmyeon nodded, feeling glad that Luhan had find something to do, something that he liked and made him feel as appreciated as he sounded. Luhan was still pretty much the same since he had left; save for the fact that he had a sad glint in his eyes and the wild look that he possessed had been replaced by a more calm and mature aura.

“You look good!” told him Junmyeon

“You do to!” complimented Luhan with a sincere smile. “How’s Thailand?”

“Good, although I have been travelling around the world, not just Thailand. So far I have been to India, Australia, Cambodia, Italy, Colombia… So many places! It’s been challenging but I think that now, after six months and something it’s more than time for me to come back. I have been dedicating myself to writing. I think rather than an editor, I would like to pursue writing, be an author.”

Luhan nodded, leaning against the side of the gazebo while Junmyeon sat on the stairs. He picked one of the flowers that was decorating the gazebo and place It On Junmyeon’s hair who looked at him in surprise.

“Can we talk?” asked Luhan softly, voice barely above a whisper.

“How many more times are you going to ask me that?”

“Just this one last time!” offered Luhan with a slight smile.

“Talk again then.” Told him Junmyeon, eyebrow rising on his forehead when he heard the other’s words.

“I’m sorry!”

“Is that all?” asked Junmyeon tentatively after a prolonged silence on Luhan’s part; one that he wasn’t able to decipher.

“Yes…No! Maybe! I don’t really know Junmyeon. The truth is that it was the first thing that I thought of saying to you. Apologize for the words that I told you, six and something months ago. I realized how selfish I was. How much of an I was to you. I practically refused to hear you out; I didn’t take into consideration anything that you wished to do. I don’t know why though, even after so much time to think about it…If I had to point out a reason, I would probably say that, after what happened, I wanted so much for you to be by my side forever and it wasn’t the case, so I flipped out. Irrational fear, perhaps but it was mostly just me being stupid.”

Junmyeon hummed, eyes closing as a little breeze past through them, making the hot air not as harsh as it had been.

“It seems like it was quite an introspective journey you had while I wasn’t around.”

“It didn’t take me long to realize I was a prick, no!” stated Luhan with a light tone.

“I didn’t say that you were a prick; I also wasn’t trying to make any kind of judgement towards you, I am merely stating something. You’re different and yet you are not.”

Luhan looked over at Junmyeon, taking in his relaxed features, and raised an eyebrow in confusion, silently asking for the other to explain.

“Physically, I see the Luhan that I always saw. You’re you; which is kind of comforting but at the same time you look so sad, so not you… it’s disheartening.”

“Maybe…” shrugged Luhan “I don’t think I changed that much I…I just missed you.”

“I missed you too, Luhan.”

It wasn’t a confession; it was a purely confident statement that made Luhan look over at Junmyeon. It was quite funny that they had departed from each other in tears and anger and now they were able to talk to each other so freely and relaxed.

“Junmyeon…” began Luhan tentatively. “Can…can we go back to where we were?”

“Back to where we were?” asked Junmyeon, sending side eyeing Luhan, trying to figure out what the other was saying.

“Yes, to a place where we didn’t judge each other, we didn’t say stupid, hurtful things, where we didn’t were in threatening situations, where you didn’t leave and I didn’t allow you to let go without a proper fight.”

“No…I don’t think we can!” mumbled Junmyeon not looking at Luhan.

Luhan felt his heart skip at the words before shriveling away. Had he crossed all lines by the act of cruelty that he had committed towards Junmyeon that the man couldn’t forgive him. Had he really lost Junmyeon from the moment he turned his back on the man and walked away?

“It’s not like that Luhan;” Interrupted Junmyeon, making the blonde male look at him. “at least, not to its full extent. What I am trying to say is that… it hurt. It hurt too much to hear those things from you, to be put down in such way. I almost quit my trip just in order to be with you a couple of times, that was if you had me at the time, but Baekhyun persuaded me out of it. That kid is really smart and he understands people very well. He told that if you couldn’t accept the fact that I needed this, for me, to help me build and know myself, then I didn’t need you in my life. It was a punch in the face, let me tell you that, but he was right. You hurt me so much; you didn’t understand and you didn’t listen to me, which was worse.”

“Junmyeon…”

“So: no! I don’t to go back to that point, to the point where we loved but hurt each other time and time again because we kept missing each other. But, I acknowledge that we kept missing each other because I kept missing myself too. It was all smoking mirrors; I was trying to be something that I was not. I grew a lot since I met you, which is weird to say out loud, since I am a grown man, but it is the truth. In a way, I think this time apart did us really well. But I don’t wish to return to it.”

“Junmyeon…”whispered Luhan, hear break pouring from his mouth, embed into is words. “Please! I’m sorry! I’m so sorry… I was stupid and I was reckless. I missed you so much, so, so much! I love you! I choose to love you! Please, give me one more chance!”

“No!”

And Luhan crumbled! He slid into the floor, his head in his hands, feeling nauseated and empty; so empty.

“I can’t give you ‘more’ chances.” Interrupted Junmyeon while standing up and putting a hand on top of Luhan’s shoulder, two of his fingers coming to lift Luhan’s chin to face him. ”We are starting anew, from this point on. There will be no ‘more chances’. Instead we are going to build something fresh, using love, honesty, forgiveness, devotion and gentleness; and other things that we will find necessary as we go.”

Luhan’s eyes widen at the implication on Junmyeon’s words.

“Are…are you? Did you just…?” he babbled incoherently, his heart growing back together in his chest, hope renewed.

“Yes.” Smiled Junmyeon, gently; very softly. “I love you, Luhan. Everyone knows that and I refuse to let you go. If I learned anything in these six months abroad, is that life is not that long and sometimes it’s really cruel, so I need to go after things that make me happy; of things that I love. It’s not worthy to throw happiness away because sometimes things don’t go as we expected, because we don’t forgive. I don’t want that for me and I don’t want to throw the love we have for each other away because some hurtful words thrown in the worst moment possible. So, if you agree, we will start anew, stronger and more ourselves.”

The only warning that Junmyeon had was a small, breathy ‘yes’ as a reply, before Luhan stood up suddenly, grabbing him and lifting him up in the air, spinning him around, making him laugh in surprise, while peppering his face with small, loving kisses.

When he stopped spinning them around, Luhan nuzzled Junmyeon’s neck, inhaling the lovely smell that he came to associate with Junmyeon, fresh and sweet, like soft wood and lavender, before looking into the man’s expressive eyes and saying ‘I love you’ in such a soft an honest voice that Junmyeon’s smile broke into one of the most beautiful ones witnessed so far by Luhan.

Bringing his soft hands to Luhan’s face, Junmyeon caressed the skin before pulling the blonde for a passionate kiss.

“I love you too.”

He mumbled into Luhan’s smiling lips before claiming his lips again and again and again and again.

They were in love.

From the stairs, leading to the garden, three watched the two lovebirds whisper sweet nothing into each other’s lips, looking so in love and so happy that it made them smile.

“Hmm… I thought I was going to have to punch Luhan a couple of times before he did something.”

“True… I feel like I should push them away… this is my wedding, why the heck are they like this! People will confuse them as the newlyweds!”

“Really, Jongdae? With the amounts of time you spent clinging to Chanyeol, no one will say a thing. Don’t be a hypocrite. Let your brother be happy!”

“Don’t be mean to me Kyungsoo or I’ll throw you away!” sing-songed Jongdae, dodging the playful swat that Kyungsoo aimed at him.

“I’m just happy they are okay. I happy that they are happy! Everyone saw it but themselves: they are mirror images of each other, since the beginning, they just needed to look with more attention than they did.”

Both males looked at the third male with a smile on their faces. They looked back onto the couple on the garden, they just made sense together; mirrors images of each other indeed.

They stood there in comfortable silence before a loving Chanyeol came to sweep his husband away for one more spin on the dance floor.

Kyungsoo was the next to go, knowing that either his own husband or his son might be looking for him since he had been outside, like a busybody, along with the others, as soon as they saw Luhan disappear through the glass doors.

“Are you coming?” he asked to his companion.

“I’ll join you in a minute.” Replied the other male softly.

Kyungsoo nodded and returned to the party while the male observed his two friends. It had been such a bumpy ride to the place they were now: happy and each other’s arms. He was glad! Love like this, true love, didn’t come that easily for everybody, it was meant to be pursued and it was something worthy to be fought for. Luhan and Junmyeon finally had it in their hands and he knew it was going to last; he could tell. He smiled at the two and wished them the best, like he knew they wished him back.

“Baekhyun? Is everything okay?”

Baekhyun averted his eyes from Junmyeon and Luhan and looked over the concerned eyes of Minseok and Sehun, his own version of true love, in duplicated dosage. He walked over to them, kissing one and then the other softly, before weaving his fingers through each of his lover’s own.

“Everything is fine."

He returned back to the party with his lovers, feeling elated and at peace, a soft and sweet smile dancing on his lips.

Everything was perfect.

Just perfect.

A/N: And it's over! I really cannot describe how much of a bittersweet feeling it is to finish something that you poured so much of you. I loved this fic, although it was, so far, probably the most difficult one to write. I am gonna miss it so much!
I wanna thank everyone for reading it, subscribing, upvoting and commenting. Every single one of you made me push myself and going on. I am trully thankful!! I hope you liked it and that this chapter, this final chapter, was good! I do appreciate you comments and you opinions, so please, share them with me!!
Stay tuned for more (new) stories, since I have many ideas that are currently being translated and put into words ^^
Finally, but not less important, stay safe, stay healthy, love and be loved, and be so very HAPPY!
Lots of love and an amazing day for every single one of you.

<3 <3 <3