Luhan had ultimately agreed to meet Junmyeon at a coffee shop that he loved downtown; it wasn’t exactly the quietest or most private place to reunite with someone but Luhan had decided and Junmyeon was not going to say no. Also, it was good to let Baekhyun rest a little before school since the younger had come up with a slight cold, probably because he had slept at the college library and managed to get sick because of the air con on the room.

Junmyeon had been nervous all morning, choosing his outfit time and time again and pacing all around the living room before a groggy Baekhyun, who came out of his room to eat something, appeared on the living room’s doorway and just looked at him and cutely hugged him and told him to stop being so nervous before bee lining towards the kitchen to finally eat.

He walked through the streets with a steady rhythm not really allowing anyone to see his inner turmoil and the fact he was actually that he felt sick to his stomach while he walked on the busy streets, illuminated by the soft morning light. He tried to think about what he could possibly say, running all the potential sceneries in his mind, playing one upon the other, nonstop. The raven haired male hoped that Luhan could hear him out patiently and that he could also open a little to Luhan.

He reached the coffee shop soon enough and let a puff of air pass through his lips when he realized that there was no Luhan inside; sure, he had arrived a little earlier than he should but he hoped that Luhan was already inside the little place, waiting for him, hopefully waiting to see him getting in after a long while without contact but, in reality, that was just some wishful thinking coming straight up out of some book or a movie that he saw. What was he expecting? Luhan was still disappointed and a little resented at him.

He sighed a little and order a tea for himself and a cup of coffee for Luhan, knowing fully well that the blonde male enjoyed the hot beverage and sat on a table right on the corner of the shop, his back facing the door, not wanting to see Luhan entering, his mind jesting him and mocking him with the possibility of Luhan being cruel to him and not show up.

Leaning back on the chair, he concentrated on rearranging the packets of sugar placed on the table by the color, forming a beautiful little rainbow of colors that made him smile gently until a hand on his shoulder, if only for seconds, announced Luhan’s arrival. The blonde male had a closed of face, neutral, without any expression and even when he sat down in front of Junmyeon, the fact maintained itself firmly on place, not letting the other to guess his mood.

“Hi.” Greeted Junmyeon weakly, relieved and a little in awe at seeing Luhan’s face in such a long time and marveling a little at the details that he have never seen before or, in the best of chances, the ones that he didn’t make an effort to notice. “How have you been?”

Luhan was still very much the same although his hair was just a fraction lighter, maybe because of the sun, perhaps because Luhan may have dyed it again, since no one had that color of hair. His eyes were still sparkly and looked huge, even if there were little wrinkles on the corners, tiredness Junmyeon would guess, especially taking notice of the slight ring of blackness around his eyes.

There was a slight slump in his posture, the weight of the world on his shoulder and Junmyeon was feeling quite guilty knowing that he had been the one to put it down there.

Luhan sighed, his hands coming to rest on top of the table and twiddling with them in a nervous, maybe anxious habit that he had. He looked over at Junmyeon, speaking very softly, voice a little hoarse with disuse.

“Let us stop with the pretenses and just say why we are here, Junmyeon. Let us not extend this anymore than it has to. You are here to talk to me: you asked me to come, so talk.”

Junmyeon was taken a back a little, he admit to admit, he had gotten used to Luhan’s sweeter side, the less snarky part of him and this aghast tone he had use was completely new territory and he wasn’t quite sure how to react to that.

“I’m sorry.” He mumbled quietly making Luhan sigh deeply, fingers running through his hair in a frustrated gesture.

“Don’t say sorry. I wasn’t trying to say that you should shut up I am just stating that we should head straight to business instead of just skirting around the subject. You don’t have to exchange pleasantries with me, I know you are anxious; just let it all out.”

“I don’t know where to start really.” began Junmyeon, quietly, a tad calmer at Luhan’s words.

“By the beginning would be a good start.” Replied Luhan without malice in his words, just trying to prompt Junmyeon, who looked encouraged as long as Luhan was speaking to him.

“I think that, first of all, I would like to start by apologize to you. I have been pressuring you lately and given that you had ask me to give you time it was really unfair of me and selfish too, I shouldn’t have done it, I should have not push your limits and boundaries for the sake of my curiosity, it was wrong of me.” Apologized Junmyeon first, voice steady despite the shakiness that was consuming all of his body.

“I appreciate you apologizing, but I sense that there is more to it than just you apologizing.” Commented Luhan, ordering another cup of coffee, not bothering to touch the now cold coffee that Junmyeon had bought him, the Styrofoam cup completely forgotten on the side of the table, Luhan’s name scribbled on the side, decorated with a smiley face underneath it.

“There is.” Added Junmyeon quickly afraid that Luhan would suddenly decide to stand up and leave. “There is so much more. Baekhyun told me to be honest with you…”

“Baekhyun advise you?” interrupted Luhan suddenly with a small smile playing on his lips. “Since when does baby bird advises you about anything?”

“Well, we were just talking one of these days…Sehun actually tried to advise me too but Baekhyun just told him to shut up and to stop being crass.”

That pulled a genuine laugh out of Luhan, who cackled at the prospect of a no filter Sehun and an exasperated Baekhyun.

“I heard that they were back together!”

“They are. They are happy, still trying to solve things with Minseok.”

“Hmm…that’s good. I am happy for them; Baekhyun is a good kid. But sorry for interrupting, go on.”

Junmyeon managed to hide a smile; behind his nonchalance, he could see little traits of the Luhan he really liked, like his lack of concentration and his funny side, surging forward, making themselves present in this conversation, comforting and managing to relax Junmyeon.

“As I was saying, Baekhyun told me to take a moment and reflect about what I want to say to you, to be honest with you and with myself and truthfully enough, while I know that I should not push you, that I should allow you your space, I also feel very in the dark about you. You made me a proposition of sorts, you asked me for something indirectly and I would love to get on board with that because, yes Luhan, I am beginning to realize that I quite like you and no, I am not that opposed to starting a relationship with you, there is always a nagging feeling at the back of my mind asking me what am I doing, and telling me that I know nothing of you, hence why I am doing a mistake. You know a lot of me, you know how I work perfectly, sometimes I feel like you might know me better than me actually, and yet, other the fact I know the basic things about you, I really don’t know anything else. You’re begging me to trust you when you don’t trust me and I think that is a little unfair.”

“Sometimes, things aren’t about you, it’s not a matter of trust, it’s a matter of personal that are very personal and painful for me…”

“How is that any different from not trusting me?”

“It’s very different! It is my personal business, Junmyeon.”

“I’m not asking for your darkest secrets Luhan, just for a sign that you can trust me; that you will eventually trust me. I like you Luhan, as much as you sometimes annoy me, as much as you are a real smart at times, but my trust has been a little torn by Minho, I became distrusting but I felt a little sense of normalcy when I was introduced and let you in my life, maybe because you are always so honest and direct, as if you don’t have filter, an now… now, I don’t know. I feel stuck. I like you.” Admitted Junmyeon to a shocked Luhan; who was shocked more out of having those words being said to him than actually knowing and having the confirmation of Junmyeon’s feelings. “I think that is visible enough for everyone, I have been miserable when we were apart, when you were not talking to me. However, I do think that if things are going to be like this, then we are best the just being friends and just, be gone in our own ways.”

It had taken a lot of him to just say something like that to Luhan; all of his courage actually. However, Junmyeon was a firm believer that without trust you could go nowhere; he already had trust issues and the last thing he wanted was to pursue a relationship, no matter how tentative it would be with anyone, much less with Luhan. He had realized that it wasn’t just him being paranoid, he needed something back from Luhan, something far more deep than the superficial things he revealed about himself, he wanted to know Luhan, what made him tick, what made him calm down, he wanted to know if he should buy black or green tea when Luhan visited, he wanted to know if thunder made Luhan uncomfortable or if the sound calmed him down. All those little things that he found fascinating about every single one of his friends and yet, didn’t know about Luhan, because the man refused to tell him. And that was the main question of all this: he didn’t want to know anything that special, he wanted the normal things and Luhan failed to understand that, understanding instead that Junmyeon wanted him to tell him much more than that.

Luhan stared at Junmyeon, incapable of actually believe that Junmyeon had been bold enough, that he had been able to reach out of his protected little bubble to say and admit something like this.

He had to admit that these past few days had been horribly devoid of feelings; Junmyeon had a great capacity of making everything and anything livelier and funnier, less dull, and being without him had really been draining but there was a lot that Luhan wasn’t ready to tell yet, not because he didn’t think that Junmyeon would understand, he actually, think that the man, in all his sweetness, would more than understand it, it was the shame of the things he had done: he was ashamed of telling Junmyeon about what he had done, of all the bad things that he had managed to get himself into which almost ruined his life completely. He bit his lips contemplatively as he looked over Junmyeon’s gorgeous features: seriously that man was so incredibly beautiful in a delicate way. There were a lot of man who he could call handsome: Jongin, Sehun, Yixing, but Junmyeon was an exquisite kind of beauty, so delicate and so soft, he only could who could rival, yet Luhan had no interest besides the purely platonic affection, was Baekhyun.

Junmyeon was not a man that would often express his wishes so freely, like he had just done, speaking his mind to Luhan, and that had made the older man feel a surge of affection for the other. It must’ve been hard for Junmyeon to be this forward and that showed Luhan that the other was trying and making an effort.

When he failed to say anything for a moment too long, the hopeful twinkle on Junmyeon’s eyes fade away quickly, a defeated gleam taking over and making the smaller male slump forward, posture not very that common. He gave a sad smile and stood up without a word, leaving a stunned Luhan behind as he walked quickly through the coffee shop and out of the door.

It was all that was needed to spur Luhan into moving, because the blonde male leaped from his chair, which fell to the ground and ran after Junmyeon, not giving two glances to the waiter who called after him with a Styrofoam cup in his hand, which probably the coffee that Luhan had ordered.

As soon as he walked out of the store, he chased after the small man, finding him easily in the crowd; no matter how crowded a place might be Luhan would always find Junmyeon.

“Junmyeon! Junmyeon!” he yelled, getting a few surprised glances from people passing by, some curious, some reproachable, as they watched him run and yell through the street.

He saw how Junmyeon stopped on his tracks, turning to look at him, a surprised look on his face as Luhan continued to approach him, eventually reaching him.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry for having you feel like this but, Junmyeon, you have to understand, somethings are just too private.”

“No, Luhan. It’s not just that, you’ll never really trust me because I am a prissy boy who came up from a stuck up, awful family, that I have many annoying habits, that I am seriously paranoid and I am afraid of doing things that I want out of pure fear of being considerate no proper enough because that was the way I was raised. I am tired of not being taking seriously; I am tired of being considered a bad friend, even though I cannot, for the life of me, stop of having arguments with people I like and saying the wrong thing to them. I am tired of feeling that everyone is tired of me except for the young man that lives of my house. I am tired of not being good enough. Frankly Luhan, it’s tiring, I’m tired and it’s just better this way.”

Junmyeon turned around to keep walking away, away from Luhan and everything that kept on hurting him throughout these past few days. It was too much and he truly just wanted to escape from it; everyone expected him to do it anyways, he might be a little judgmental but in fact, other people were too, sometimes his friends also. Junmeyon was predictable: he always acted like society expected him too, like his parents had wanted him too, like his friends expected him too. The only thing he had never done was to live for himself and for what he wanted, how he wanted. Luhan knew how to live the life, he didn’t care of what other people think; he was free. So free that Junmyeon doubted that someone like Luhan could ever have a stable, happy relationship with someone like him.

He kept walking, determined not to look back, to Luhan, to everything he was leaving behind. It was bad enough that it was hurting him like hell; he didn’t need to add salt into the already gaping wound by looking at Luhan. With a bit of luck, Baekhyun was still home to cuddle with him. Baekhyun was a nice person, quiet and loving, he wouldn’t mind. Maybe he would even call in Jongdae and tell his brother about all of this and let him chastise him about not being careful enough and maybe even hear him fight a little with Chanyeol who was a real sweetheart because the giant will definitely chide Jongdae for being mean to his brother.

He wouldn’t call Kyungsoo, the man was still on vacation, cherishing some time with his husband and son. Kyungsoo would probably worry about him and put himself on a plane right away despite how brusque he was at times and hash edged. Yifan would probably laugh at his misery but would counsel him nonetheless. Maybe he should talk with Jongin but Jongin, despite being a wonderful person, might be a little Luhan biased, since his boyfriend, Yixing, was one of Luhan’s best friends.

He should just go home and cuddle Baekhyun… even Sehun if that giant man baby was at his house, since he sometimes stood the night while immersed in his projects, totally forgetting about the time. Their exam period was extensive and implied a whole lot of working in studying. Baekhyun had been desperate with his Molecular Biology exam and Sehun was slowly losing his mind with one of his course works…well all of them really, they often camped on Junmyeon’s living room, Baekhyun’s too now, and whined in misery over the said exams, or rather Sehun did and Baekhyun watched him fondly over his glasses, the ones he used just for watching TV or reading, and kept studying, nose buried on the pages of his books.

“Junmyeon!” he heard Luhan call; however, this time, following his own instincts, Junmyeon keep on walking forward. This time he was going to do what he thought it was okay and not going back to console Luhan or even listen to him like everyone thought he should do: he could see the reproachable stares people were giving him, as if he was some kind of villain for the damsel in distress that was Luhan, as if he was being evil in some sort of way for leaving the man shouting his name behind him. Well, screw them: they didn’t know what it felt like to be on his skin.  

Also, he had apologize, gone after Luhan and trying to make amends, he didn’t even requested for anything except for trust, despite whatever Luhan might think, he wasn’t really demanding to know every single detail of Luhan’s life, contrary to popular belief he would actually be perfectly okay just with knowing where Luhan was born and if he had any siblings.

His fast pace turned into an abrupt stop when he was yanked pretty harshly from Luhan, who looked at him with an angry yet preoccupied face.

“Were you seriously going to leave me here, screaming after you?”

“I actually was.” Replied Junmyeon brusquely making Luhan release him in shock. “As I said Luhan, it’s better this why, you can trust me and you can’t understand that I am only want to know you better, understand you better. For a moment I thought that it was my fault for insisting and pushing you, giving into my own egotistical wishes but, the truth is, you’re scared!”

“I am embarrassed of what you’ll think of me!”

“No!” cut Junmyeon, pointing his fingers at Luhan “You’re scared of your own feelings and your embarrassed at yourself, ashamed and don’t really want to accept whatever you might have done, nothing more nothing less. Until you own up to yourself and accept your past. I have nothing to talk to you.”

Junmyeon turned around again and ran. He ran home, at a fast pace; thank heavens for his running habits, leaving Luhan behind him. The blonde male actually tried to chase him; Junmyeon could hear the fast footsteps behind him but he was far too quick for the blond who didn’t take a chance near him.

And for now, it was goodbye.                                

Baekhyun was at the coffee shop today, facing his usual shift with Yoona, Cheolyong and Wendy, happily working since it took his mind out of school work which was something he really needed.

The shop wasn’t really that full, since it was very early morning and a weekend, people were probably still resting after a busy week. Even the staff looked a little sleepy, Cheolyong was basically asleep, leaning against coffee machine, Yoona was diligently cleaning some tables, although the poor girl seemed to actually be fighting not to sleep, which was no school, Nursing degree must have been killing her and Heechul was no doubt sleeping in his office: boss privileges. The only one who was hyper enough for this hour of the day was Wendy but when was the quirky and sweet girl never like that? She was busy singing away her heart’s content while cleaning up the floors.

Baekhyun was scrubbing the cutlery clean and keeping an eye on Sehun, who was sitting on a table near the window, with his headphones on, working on, yet again, another project. He wasn’t supposed to be here, or even up so soon, he should’ve been resting but the younger male had insisted on coming to work with Baekhyun and the older male failed to convince him otherwise; Sehun was incredibly stubborn like this.

He approached his boyfriend quietly, slipping a fresh baked doughnut in front of Sehun’s face, who immediately stopped his work on his computer to look up.

“Eat up. It’s not good for you to work on an empty stomach, you need the strength.”

Sehun let out a smile hearing Baekhyun’s soft and very shy request, as if they were first time boyfriends, and felt gratitude over the other’s concern.

“I will. Don’t worry!” he marveled a little when his small boyfriend smile at him and, on an impulse; he leaned forward, pushing himself up in his chair, to kiss the lips in front of him. “Love you!”

“Love you too.” Replied Baekhyun with a little smile, caressing Sehun’s cheek briefly and lovingly, returning to his job afterwards.

Baekhyun felt a little happier now that he and Sehun were back together, he feel a little more complete and things were now different ever since he had moved into Junmyeon, or rather, ever since Junmyeon gave him a home and a sense of family that he didn’t have previously. Junmyeon had help him immensely by releasing him a little from the expenses of a house, even though Baekhyun helped and he also helped him balance the economic aspect of his life, helping him to manage his money the best, enough to have for college, to pay for his grandfather’s nursing home, it had been a tough thing to accomplish but with Junmyeon’s advice, and a side of Jongdae’s skills on Business.

Also, he had managed to snag a tutoring job since Chanyeol had been helpful enough to score him one, he was now teaching freshman how to handle the multitude of classes they had and giving good pieces of advice on how not to flunk. He was quiet but very intelligent and his students really appreciated him as a teacher. He had some students confessing to him already, smitten by his quiet charms and pretty looks but he had decline every single one of them; when he had told Sehun, the younger had been on a rampage and he had possessively claimed himself publicly as Baekhyun’s boyfriend. It had been quite the spectacle and Baekhyun had been as elated as embarrassed.

Generally, the truly had been happier, he found the support he craved in his newfound family and friends and ever since Sehun and him had the epic fallout a while back and made peace again, their relationship had achieved a level that he didn’t think it was possible, Sehun showered him with love and he was absolutely dedicated to Baekhyun; however, he did patiently guided him when Baekhyun was at loss of what to do or even when he overworked himself and turned snappy. Baekhyun, for his part, was the upmost loyal boyfriend in the world and he also loved with a great intensity showing it to Sehun at every opportunity possible; he had learned that love was meant to be given selflessly and that was what he did.

It was now a well-balanced relationship and they weren’t afraid to speak their mind and they communicated well, either with words or with gestures, a single glance was enough for them and there was a relieve to have such a marvelous relation. Sometimes they had their little arguments, small things that blew out of proportions most of the times, but after some time to cool off, they talk to one another and simply solved whatever had made them argue in the first place. They learned little by little and that was why their relationship was improving.

He entered the kitchen, greeting the bakers in there: Joohyun, a sweet girl who finishing a degree in Education and needed the money; Hongbin, a young man to whom Heechul had gave an opportunity to work for him, since the man really loved baking and Seunghyun, a teenager, on his last year of high school, who was a little rascal, loved music and playing his guitar almost as much as he liked to bake; it had been a struggle in the beginning to keep the teen working there, since he was playful and cared more about playing pranks than working, but a strict Heechul had quickly put him in his place. His coworkers had greeted him happily with a nod while he passed through them to get to the pantry, hoping to bring some more cartoons of milk and syrup to the front of the shop.

He grabbed a plastic basket from the entrance of the pantry and opened the door, quickly checking through the shelves to pick up the thing he so neatly wrote on a piece of paper. It was important to be fast since the pantry had a slightly colder temperature to keep everything nice and in perfect conditions. He was struggling a little to get the hazelnut syrup from a shelf; Baekhyun had not doubt that this had been Seunghyun work since the teen was so tall that he forgot that normal people like him couldn’t quite reach that shelf.

With a little jump and lot of confidence, he finally managed to grab the bottle of syrup, a hand firmly but gently grabbed his waist and pulled Baekhyun’s body toward the owner’s body, keeping it tightly against it.

“Sehun?” asked Baekhyun, feeling the familiar weight against his back.

“No, not Sehun!” came a well-known voice that froze Baekhyun to the spot.

“Minseok?” Baekhyun turned around so fast that he collided with the shelf behind him, almost dropping the basket and assuring himself that the shelf wasn’t going to fall on top of him.

“Yeah Baek, it’s me.” Replied the other man and Baekhyun’s eyes lingered a little on Minseok’s poor form, his hair lost his vibrant hues, he was looking very pale and there were dark ring beneath his eyes, like serious ones, he remembered a classmate of Sehun who was called Seungri, a nickname he supposed, and not even his eye bags, enormous and really dark, could rival Minseok’s at the moment. He had lost a little weight and he seemed so out of energy that Baekhyun felt a little worried and extremely shocked at seeing him like that.

“Did someone authorize you to be here?” asked Baekhyun timidly, not really knowing what to say; this was an extremely awkward moment and he was just wishing that somebody was here with him, just to break of the ice.

“No, I suppose not but I had to talk to you, I saw you coming here as I bypassed the window and I just had to do it.”

“Why?”

“I just had to. I can’t keep on pretending that I am doing fine nor I can keep away from you. God, this is torture.”

Baekhyun said nothing; he simply stood there, back against a shelf, a basket held firmly between his hands, staring and Minseok.

“I know that this was my entire fault, that I should’ve talk to you instead of simply making you the target of all my frustrations, which was ironic since I was just fired from my job, so one frustration less, but I should have paid more attention to you and to your needs. You always been quiet and I misunderstood it so completely, I thought that you didn’t need me as much as maybe Sehun did and looking back, you were always the one who needed me the most and I let you down. I let you down and I feel dead inside to know that if I had not been so stupid, I could still have you; you and Sehun. You are the love of my life, you both are. I don’t want to lose you, not like this and not without a fight.”

Minseok approached Baekhyun and simply kneeled on the floor, looping his arms around the raven haired male and pressing his forehead against the other’s flat stomach, finding some comfort in being so near to him after so much time without even seeing him, let alone touch him.

“I know you said you were going to think about it and that you’ll needed to think really good about the subject before even take a decision.” Began Minseok “But please, please, just give me a chance, a second chance, the last chance, I don’t care what you call it; just let me prove that I am worthy of you and that what you saw was nothing more than a slip that it will not happen again. Please, please!”

It was a desperate call, truly, honestly desperate; Baekhyun could tell that, there was sadness printed on his face and a very tired lilt, borderline exhausted, to his voice that touched the standing male.

“Minseok, the decision doesn’t depend solely on me. I have to consider Sehun’s feeling too, although I can almost guarantee that he would want that very much. I think the three of us need to sit down and discuss that. I understand why you lash out, you explained your point of view and I know that you are sorry, I can tell that you are being sincere but I will have you know, I was extremely hurt and the words are still very fresh in my head. I lived with that, with insults and hate, for a good part of my life but I have got to have a little self-love. I cannot tolerate this kind of behavior.”

“I know! I know! I’m sorry!” chanted Minseok, repeating time the word ‘sorry’ over and over under his breath.

“Minseok?” called Baekhyun when Minseok kept on repeating the same thing over and over again, without moving at all, simply maintaining his position, latched to Baekhyun. “Minseok? Are you okay?”

“Baekhyun? Are you okay? Joohyun told me she saw a male coming after you…”

Sehun burst into the pantry, panting slightly, Joohyun behind him looking a little scared. She was fairly new at the coffee shop and she wasn’t aware of their relationship.

“Minseok?” asked the taller male as he saw Minseok hanging off Baekhyun, the smaller male looking over at him unsure. “Baekhyun?”

“He came here to apologize, I told him I needed to talk to you but he didn’t say much more, he is just apologizing over and ….”

No one expected the moment when Minseok slumped to the floor, his body cold although his forehead was burning up from what Baekhyun could tell, alarmed at the scene, putting the basket on the floor, as him and Sehun rushed to Minseok, while Joohyun went to pick up some help.

“I’m sorry… I’m so sorry!” mumbled the man weakly before his eyes rolled to the back of his head.

"Minseok!" his name uttered by the two people he loved the more was the last thing he heard before blackness claimed him.

A/N: Hello everyone, how is everyone doing? This was a chapter filled with drama wasn't it? So tell me, what did you think about the position Junmyeon claimed when it came to Luhan? Is he right? Wrong? What about Luhan? And now the Minseok thing... uff so many things going on. Tell me all about it in comments, PM's, I answer to you ;)
Also, I planned on posting earlier but it was my birthday this week and I got a little sidetracked, sorry!
Concerning my friend... unfortunately he is getting worse, some other patient of the hospital infected him with another bacteria and things are really messy. However, I thank you all for your messages and your support. It keeps me going! So, thank you!
Last but not least: stay safe, stay healthy, love and be loved, and BE HAPPY!
A lot of love to you all and may you have a wonderful week!
<3