For those who were too excited and jumped in here too quickly, go to chapter 34, this is a double update. Yes, the very first one in this story. I feel generous.

Despite the late hour, Sunggyu was sitting on the living room’s couch, papers sprawled on the coffee table. There was so many things he needed to review. His absence from Millennium hadn’t been long, and to be honest, his sister, Woohyun and Soojung made an excellent job by keeping it running well, but it didn’t mean Sunggyu wouldn’t check and double check everything that had been done during his absence. Being back to Millennium, to his normal routine, had been easier than he expected. He believed he wouldn’t be able to work, his mind on Dongwoo all day. But since Jonghyun’s agreement to help him corner his parents, Sunggyu was more at ease.

Thankfully, his parents hadn’t been annoying him recently. Sunghee played her part wonderfully in here. She told them Sunggyu had accepted the marriage, as they wished, so the best they could do was cut their son some slack and not expect him to act as if he was in love with his bride to be. Their marriage was business, and the best they could do was let Sunggyu work, because it was the only thing that kept him grounded and not turning insane. They had been weirdly compliant, mostly because with Dongwoo’s accident related all over the news, they feared Sunggyu would change his mind and turn their back on them. But he did nothing of that sort, and to avoid a fire backlash, they did not either.

He had not heard about his fiancée as well. She left the hotel after insisting on paying the note and was probably back to work. He figured it was best like this. There was no point interacting more than they should anyway. He had the firm intention to not marry her, and being her friend would make the sting of betrayal even more painful. He sincerely hoped she’ll find someone able to love her like he loved Dongwoo. She would be happy that way. No matter how highly she thought of him, Sunggyu knew he’ll never be able to make her happy. Not when his heart belonged to someone else entirely.

His new routine was simple. He went to work in the morning, then left for the hospital around two in the afternoon. Now that Dongwoo was out of critical stage and not reclusively kept in the ICU, he usually took him to the hospital gardens to get some air before going back to work after his visit time expired. At first, Dongwoo refused to see him when he was in the wheelchair and declined Sunggyu’s visits. Sunggyu got worried and pried from Sungjong that Dongwoo felt embarrassed and reluctant and to look like this in front of him. But since the wheelchair was mandatory until he was fully healed and his desire to see Sunggyu every day stronger than anything else, he eventually agreed upon seeing him like this.

Sunggyu hated seeing Dongwoo in the hospital. The man he loves is the embodiment of liveliness: he doesn’t belong in a cold ward full of sick people. But the thing he dislikes the most is how withdrawn Dongwoo gets sometimes, melancholic even. Howon and Sungjong and his mother all do the best they can to distract him, but Sunggyu can help but feel helpless when he sees Dongwoo’s smile slowly disappear as he starts to zone out, eyes unfocused. At times like this, Sunggyu knows he thinks of the future. Whether he’d be able to dance again, if they —as a couple— were going to make it. At times like this, Sunggyu is at loss. In their relationship, Dongwoo had always been the positive one, no matter how tough things got. To see his positive attitude fading away is more painful than he could say.

“Hyung ?” Dongwoo had called him as he pushed his wheelchair in the gardens during their promenade.

“Yes ?” Sunggyu had answered apprehensively.

Sunggyu never managed to make Dongwoo use banmal with him, politeness and manners being engraved in Dongwoo’s personality. It was just the way he was, and Sunggyu wasn’t bothered by it. However, he barely called him hyung after they got together, so the sudden use of honorific made Sunggyu think they had a serious discussion ahead of them.

“Do you ever think of what your life would be if we didn’t meet ?” Dongwoo had asked.

Sunggyu had shaken his head before voicing his thoughts.

“No, never. Do you ?” he had asked.

Dongwoo had kept quiet for a while. Sunggyu had led them to a small alley shaded by trees before crouching in front of him. He had brushed his hand against Dongwoo’s hair. Black roots started to show in his honey hair. The gesture had seemed to bring Dongwoo back to reality, because he blinked as he saw Sunggyu crouched in front of him.

“I didn’t before.” He had confessed in a small voice, turning his head away to not look at Sunggyu. “But after the accident, now that I’m like this…” he had a frustrated movement of the hand to designate himself. “I can’t help but think of how things could’ve been…”

Sunggyu knew the younger too well to think of it as a regret. He knew Dongwoo loved him, and for nothing in the world he’d regret meeting Sunggyu or falling for him. What hurt was that Dongwoo, as the angel he always was, thought about Sunggyu more than anyone in the world. He knew the uneasy position Sunggyu was in, and he blamed himself to be the one holding him back. Sunggyu could read in him like in an open book. Dongwoo felt guilty to be the cause of Sunggyu’s fights with his parents, he felt guiltier now that he had been reduced to a wheelchair, feeling he was a burden. It hurt Sunggyu to his soul, knowing Dongwoo would think of himself as an inconvenience and not the best thing that ever happened to him.

“Listen to me Jang Dongwoo.” He had taken both of his hands and looked in his eyes. “You are my entire world.” He stated firmly, his grip strong on Dongwoo’s shoulders to give more weight to his words. “The sun, the moon, the sky and the stars could vanish and the Earth with them, as long as I got you, I don’t care about anything else. Family, social status, money… I don’t need any of it. I just need you. Dongwoo,” he had to use one hand to cup Dongwoo’s jaw and keep him from looking away, “I love you. You loving me back is all I ask for. That’s all I ever wanted, love and being loved the way it is with you. Don’t you ever doubt that. I love you.”

Sunggyu had wished to ease the pain distorting Dongwoo’s face, hoped for the power to make the sadness and guilt creeping the younger’s heart go away. But he couldn’t, he couldn’t and it killed him. A long silence followed, Sunggyu looking at the emotions succeeding in Dongwoo’s face, from his avoiding eyes to the twist of his jaw, helpless. Never in his life, he had felt so powerless.

“But I…” Dongwoo tore his gaze away as his eyes were filled with tears. “I can’t use my legs… I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to dance again…” his voice had cracked as a dry sob ripped through him, and Sunggyu could’ve sworn something was ripped from his heart as well. “I’m merely the shadow of the man you fell in love with. I don’t want you to stay because you feel responsible of me or feel like you have to.”

“Oh baby…” Sunggyu had been out of words, so instead he pulled the crying man in his arms and held him tightly. “I love you so much. I’ll always do. I don’t want to be anywhere else, because the only place I feel like I truly belong is by your side.” He murmured, pressing a soft kiss against his temple. “I swear.”

He had kept on whispering tender words and sweet nothings in Dongwoo’s ear until the younger stopped crying, praying in heart for Dongwoo to get past the insecurities clouding his mind.

Sunggyu sighed deeply and pushed away his rapport at the memory of that day. The doctor had reassured him later that it was normal for a patient suffering from a serious illness or injury to be subject to depression. He had retorted, a little fired up, that at the price the hospital charged them, he should’ve thought of preventing it. The man, even if he was the chief of medicine, had looked deceptively small after Sunggyu lost his temper and promised him he would schedule therapy sessions with a psychologist. Sunggyu leaned back on his couch and looked at his watch. It was almost midnight. Maybe he could get some work done before he went to sleep.

∞

Sungyeol had to be cunning to escape the surveillance of the gang. After a week spent in the manor, patching himself up, he went out the bedroom on his own and asked the first person he saw to drive him to town. Leo must’ve kept his words concerning his “freedom” because he had no problem getting out. The thing was, as paranoid as it sounded, Sungyeol always felt eyes on him, as if he was under surveillance.

He eventually bought new clothes and choses in the first decent shop he saw and with went to a sauna to wash up and leave the old ones behind, including the shoes, in case they put a tracker on him or something. After that, even his steps felt lighter. He didn’t go back to N’s apartment to get clothes or the money he left behind, it would’ve been like going back to the manor. 

The money he had left was spent to rent a room in a motel or a 24/7 sauna to sleep at night. He never spent two nights in the same place, and changed of district every day. The easiest were the crowded ones, like Hongdae, Myungdong, Nandaemun, the market of Wangjang… It was easy to be invisible in those places, shielded by the crowd. But after three weeks, money came short, and Sungyeol had to think hard of his next steps.

Something in the corner of his mind told him he promised Prosecutor Lim to help her dismantle VIXX and the human trafficking web, but he was scared of things he had to do in order to accomplish that. More than getting involved with the gang again, it meant going back to Leo’s grip, and that thought alone paralyzed him. He had been too young then, he could a