Hello everyone ! I moved out to a new place and since I don't have internet yet, it's a nightmare to update ! It's at lest the fifth rime I try to do so since last thursday. Also sorry of you spot mistakes, I didn't proof-read the chapter yet. I'll do it when internet will be available in my apartment. Just a warning : some good things happen, but it's mostly bad overload of angst.Don't hate me too much. Love ya !

The first thing Sungyeol noticed when his eyes cracked open after a long night of sleep was the difference of his surroundings. The mattress of the sofa-bed he laid on wasn’t as comfortable as his usual bed, and the room itself was less luminous. He sat up, looking around. The two-room apartment felt so tiny after the huge duplex he used to live in. It’s only been three days since he bought his stuff in and settled in completely, but Sungyeol felt like he’ll never get used to it. He hated the fact that he couldn’t go anywhere else than here.

According to N, he would be safe nowhere. He had been told he should avoid to go outside as much as possible, and the older man said he’ll bring groceries once a week so he won’t starve and that the apartment got plenty of videogames, an internet connexion and a Netflix subscription, it didn’t make the situation easier. Even if Sungyeol was grateful for having a safe place to stay, he hated the position he was in. He felt trapped, in his own skin and inside those four walls.

He had sent his resignation letter to his manager by mail, stating that he had some personal issues and couldn’t work anymore. He hadn’t been able to go there and tell her in person, because that would’ve meant facing Sunggyu. Sungyeol had already lost Myungsoo in the most horrible way and he knew Sunggyu would’ve tried to dissuade him. He would’ve make a speech Sungyeol won’t be able to argue with and he couldn’t deal with it. He had things to do, and even his friend could completely grasp how important it was for him. He only saw it as a dangerous perspective.

Sungyeol felt guilty for leaving so cowardly, not even saying goodbye to his colleagues and friends. He could only hope that Sungjong and Woohyun would forgive him, at least one day. He didn’t even dream of Myungsoo doing so.

Sunggyu was lying flat on his back, staring at the ceiling. He didn’t know how long it’s been. He lost track of time long ago. Some part of him urged him to get up, get out of bed and do something. But most of him was too dejected and depressed to see anything but a dark horizon. What was the purpose of living ? He had no prospects whatsoever besides making a life-changing choice that will be his doom no matter what he chose. The perspective on lying there doing absolutely nothing until tiredness or death strike seemed less excruciating.

He had been so sure of himself, so foolishly arrogant. He thought himself smart enough to make everything he wished true. He prepared cautiously, for months, one chess piece at a time to align his strategy. Yet, no careful planning foresaw this turn of events. He never could’ve imagine the thought of his father backstabbing him in such a cruel way. They have never been close, yes, but there was respect and fairness between them. Sunggyu never thought his father could be so sly, to him of all people.

Most of all, he blamed himself. He blamed himself for being so helpless, unable to protect the ones he cared about. No matter what he did next, they would suffer. If he refused to marry Lee Haeri, all the people who put their trust in him would lose their jobs and he would be responsible. Then, if he chose to protect his work and workers, it meant to let Dongwoo go, and that he couldn’t. The last five months had only been manageable because of the thought that his hard work will led them to be together in the end. But to let him go and knowing it was over, that he’d never be able to see him again, never hold him again, never being loved by him again… The mere thought made Sunggyu unable to breathe and tears prickling his eyes.

His heart was breaking at the idea of Dongwoo being with someone else, since he never considered this. In his heart and mind, it has always been the two of them together. There was no questioning of that fact. He never considered another path, another person in his life, by his side. Even now, even with Damocles’ sword hanging above him, threatening to tear him apart from everything he had, his heart refused to think of it. He couldn’t fathom it.

The sound of the doorbell reached him, diffuse, from afar. He remained immobile as it kept ringing. He wouldn’t bother anymore. He couldn’t care anymore. He closed his eyes, hoping to wake up from this nightmare. He opened them a moment later as he felt someone sitting on the edge of his bed, pressing his shoulder gently. He saw her then, looking at him, sad and regretful.

“I’m so sorry Sunggyu-yah.” She squeezed his shoulder, compassionate.

“It’s not your fault noona.” He said, sitting up in his bed. “You didn’t know.”

She looked straight into his eyes, like looking for something.

“It’s ok if you cry.” She said after a moment of silence. “It’s ok if you can’t be strong this time.”

“And what good it’d bring ?” he said dryly. “I’m not a child anymore. No one will make my troubles go away if I cry. There’s no point doing so.”

“Don’t be cynical.” She reproached him, her voice still soft. “You need to let go or the burden will crush you. You’ll feel better after, and you’ll have a clearer mind to think of what to do.”

“And what can I do ?” Sunggyu exclaimed, half angry half exasperate. “No matter what I do, I lose ! If I chose to leave, my own father will remove me from the family registry ! He will take everything I have, everything I am ! He will close down the branch I worked so hard for, making all the people I am responsible of unemployed ! I will become no one, and I’ll be responsible for making millions of people jobless ! I can’t live with that ! I can’t !”

His sister said nothing during his outburst. She only looked at him, understanding.

“No matter what you decide, you’ll always be my little brother. I don’t care if you are or not on a piece of paper. You are my blood, and nothing will ever take this away. Not father, not mother, not anyone.” She said firmly, giving his shoulder a squeeze.

“Noona…” Sunggyu looked at her with glassy eyes, his voice trembling. “What am I going to do ?”

“I can’t answer that for you Sunggyu-yah. It’s your decision.”

“I love him.” Sunggyu said, tears now escaping his eyes before bursting into tears, sobs ragging his breath. “I love him so much.”

“I know.” She said, embracing him into a hug, patting his back comfortingly as he cried on her shoulder. “I know.”

Hoya didn’t imagine that an idol revealing a “relationship” meant getting so many CFs, endorsements and add campaigns. He was glad for the money, for sure, and honestly he currently made more than what he made alone, but the idea of his and Saehee’s image on giant billboards in every corner of the city didn’t make the sour guilt toward Woohyun go away. That’s why he cleared his schedule for two hours today so he could see Sungjong. The younger had been ice-cold and reluctant to talk to him over the phone, so Hoya guessed he was upset. Sungjong had always been such a fervent supporter on his quest to get Woohyun back, being an incurable romantic, so the recent turn of events was probably harsh to him.

As he pushed the door of the café, he looked around to spot the familiar silhouette but Sungjong wasn’t there yet. So he chose a seat as far as the window pane as he could and ordered an iced beverage. As the waitress blushed and asked for an autograph, he told himself he should’ve wear something more covering than huge sunglasses. It was unusual for Sungjong to be late or to make him wait. The younger always understood the hard life of an idol and tried to arrange him the best when they meet up. But Hoya knew he probably did this on purpose, a mere vengeance for the current events.

Sungjong entered the café, fifteen minutes late, like a model from a magazine, stylish from head to toe. Hoya didn’t have to wave for the maknae to spot him, Sungjong already making his way toward him. He sat in front of him, dropping nonchalantly on the chair with a practiced neglected elegance. He removed his sunglasses and put them back in his bag resting on his lap. He looked at Hoya with fiery accusing eyes and the older man couldn’t help to shudder.

“Well, you wanted to see me in person. I’m waiting.” Sungjong snapped, cutting straight to the point.

Hoya was surprised by the open animosity of Sungjong’s voice since the younger took to heart to keep appearances in all circumstances. It only made him worried. Maybe the situation was worse than he thought.

“How’s Woohyun ?” he asked.

Sungjong snorted loudly at that.

“Are you ing serious right now ?” he asked, ironic. “You publicly announced you dated some girl. How do you think Woohyun is ? Did you even think about him at all ?”

“Don’t start this with me Sungjong-ah.” His voice hardened as well as his features, and he removed his sunglasses so he could look at the maknae in the eye. “I always think of him. There’s not a day, not a second I don’t spend thinking of him. You more than anyone should know that.”

“I don’t know anymore.” Sungjong said, not backing down. “The man I know would’ve persevere till his last breath to get back with Woohyun. The man I know might sleep around but his heart always remained faithful to one person. You’re not that man anymore.”

“I still am !” Hoya exclaimed, in a low tone to not alert people around. “I love Woohyun. I love him.”

“Really ? How do you explain this then ?” Sungjong grabbed something from his back and threw it on the table, in front of him.

The stash was magazines, and most had Saehee and Hoya on the cover. He grabbed one and flipped in open. Sungjong had even pushed to mark with colourful bookmark stickers every page related to the recent highlight couple. Interviews, photo, fashion campaign, random adds between pages of an article, absolutely everything.

“Don’t you think you’re being too much ?” Hoya pointed out a green bookmark sticker marking a kitchen equipment add featuring the couple happily cooking in the full furnished polished kitchen.

“That’s beside the point !” Sungjong said, frustrated that Hoya didn’t get it. “You two are e