I reached my bag and grab my phone.

* unknown number* 
Could this be kai? 
I was not sure but i give it a go and slide the green button.

" hello." It was a male's voice.
"Hello.." He repeated.

"H-hi.." My heart was still beating very fast.

" so about the payment. Just give me your bank account......." 

" NO! I DONT NEED ANY OF YOUR MONEY" i blurted.

" Just take it. And don't tell anyone about that night" he said sounded very tired.

When he said " that night" , it was as if this mess is very simple. As if i'm a lady that people would just use and throw. 

I didn't let any words go out of my mouth because i was mad, panic, terrified and i felt like i was going to kill my self.

My mind kept on telling me " you're pregnant" over and over again. 

" hello" he said." Are you okay?" 

I mentally replied "No. I'm not okay. "

My tears began to flow again.

" are you okay?" He asked as he heard me sobbing.

" we.. We slept? S..?" I asked unclearly but its more than enough for him to understand what i was trying to ask.

He sighed. " yes. And i'm sorry. " he apologized which is useless now that this baby is coming. " i was drunk.. I mean, we..we were drunk" 

Still crying, " we.. Did it?" I asked. 

" yes. " 

" but you dont have to worry. I'll pay you with a large amount of money" He said. That just broke my heart again. 
" and please keep this a secret. I will give you the money every month....." 

" WHAT??! DO YOU THINK I AM THE KIND OF GIRL WHO WOULD JUST SELL MY ITY OVER A MONEY. " i couldn't help my self but the words just escape out of my mouth.

" IT DOESNT MATTER HOW MUCH YOU'RE PAYING ME BUT I NEED YOU TO TAKE RESPONSIBILI.........." I stopped and cried. 

I was very loud.

" what do you mean?" He questioned.

I cried. 
I don't know how to tell him and how to start it. My brain was trying to write an essay of things to say to him about this baby but i couldnt say any word.

He's an idol. What will happen to his career if im having this baby? And  besides, i am not sure if the pregnancy test was 100% accurate.

" nevermind." I need to see the doctor first before jumping to the conclusion. 

Before he could say anything, i hung up. Atleast i've got his phone number.

--------------------------

I sat on the floor near my bed,hiding from everything. The lights were off and my window were opened. The cold wind touches my skin but I didn't care anymore.
I can't erase the doctor's word about the baby. 

Yes. The baby. I am pregnant with his child. HIS CHILD.

What do i do? 
Can't i just kill my self?

At that time when the doctor told me i was pregnant, she smiled and congratulated me aswell. I had to force a smile. 
For a minute, my mind went blank. My vision was blurry and my body feels numb. 

It was the time when i felt the first "mother feeling" as if i was emotionally and mentally attached to the baby already.i couldn't define whether it is a good feeling or a bad one.

One thing  that was in my mind aswell was kai. 

I need time to think by my self first. 
Think properly. Get things sorted out. 

I had to keep this a secret from everyone especially my parents. 

* knock knock knock* 
" haera, lets eat.." My mum called me.

" i'm not hungry." I forced a smile so that i sounded fine.

" alright. "

My eyes became watery and the tears 
Began to flow on my cheecks.

Without me noticing, i cried even more. I covered my mouth with my hands to avoid being heard.

" its the end of my life" I thought. " i'm going to die." 

--------------------- 
2 weeks flew away just like that and i still havent't told any one yet but sooner or later, they will find out anyway.

Day by day, looking at my own reflection in the mirror,i can see my body changing.  
It made me realize that there is a baby inside me,growing. 
An innocent baby. 
My baby.

My belly is getting more and more obvious and i had to wear baggy jacket everyday even if it's not very cold to cover it. 

My parents noticed that and asked me about it a few times which made me made an excuse and lie to them.
Ofcource, it doesn't feel right at all.

Everynight, i ask my self if i'm sure if keeping it and am i ready to be a mother. 

Thinking about abortion makes me sad because this baby is also a living person. It keeps on growing and growing to see the world and i, i want to see my baby, touch it's soft skin, love him/her and teach him/her to be a good person. 
.
.
. 
.

The next morning, i got out of my room and eat breakfast with my parents.

My dad was reading the newspaper while drinking some coffee where as, my mum was busy on her phone.

I took my spoon and starts to eat but The smell of the egg made me somehow sick. It smells weird. 
I tried to ignore it and just swallow the egg but my stomach couldn't hold it. 

I took one small bite of the egg and i stopped. I put down the spoon immideately and ran to the nearest toilet.

 It took my parent's attention. 

My mum followed me to the toilet. " are you okay?" She worriedly asked.

" hmm" i washed my hands and rinsed my mouth.

" are you sure?" She asked again and crossed her arms.

" yes." I didnt look at her and just straightly go to the living room.

After that, i asked permission to go out to get fresh air and they allowed me. 

As i walk, i kept on thinking and asking my self the same exact questions that i usually ask my self. 

The surrounding seems invinsible to me. A lot of things are running in my mind like crazy.

No matter how much i tried to solve things out, i couldn't find any right answer of what i'm going to do and even worst, college is starting soon. 

If i tell kai about this, i'm 100% sure he'll leave me as if we never met and also, he's an idol with millions of fans, he must be busy to even think about this. This will make him more stressed out.

This is hard. 

Then, i went back home.

As I arrived at the door, i heard a loud sound of my parents arguing. 

I got in and it went quiet.

My parents were both standing next to the couch.

"You... Come here now!" My dad pointed on me.

I came closer to them. " why? What is going on?" 

They both were staring at me,looking very angry.

" You need to explain this" my father threw the pregnancy test on the floor. 

"And this" my mum handed me the ultrasound pictures of the baby.

I was shocked. 
I want to run away but i knew i have to stand up for my self and this baby.

" are you..." My dad came closer.

"Yes" i answered without him finishing his words." And i'm keeping it"

" what?!" My mum blurted out." There is no way you are keeping that"

" who did this??!! Who's the father?!!!" My dad yelled." Did you tell him?" 

I can't face them properly and i started to cry.

How do i tell them that it's kai's. They won't believe it if i say so.

" i asked. And you should answer. WHO THE HELL IS THAT JERK" my father raised his voice.

"I..." My voice cracked.

" take off your jacket." My mum pulled my jacket." TAKE IT OFF!!" 

So i did. 

They were shock to see my changed figure.

I couldn't stop crying and sobbing.

My parents stared at me and I could sense that they were also crying. 
Who wouldnt feel dissapointed when their one and only daughter got pregnant before marriage.

" who's the father?" My father asked.

"I.. I dont know.." I answere.

" what do you mean,you dont know?! " he raised his voice. This makes him even more dissapointed and mad. 

I looked down.
" the party.. I was drunk.." I didn't explain clearly.

" WHAT??!"

Suddenly,theres a stong pain on my cheeck - My father just slapped me.

" YOU'RE GETTING AN ABORTION!" His face was red with anger.

"Dad!!! No matter what, i want to keep it. I want to raise it.."i cried and begged." Please.." 

" you're not my daughter. Now, pack your things and go. " he said. " I DO NOT WANT TO SEE YOUR FACE ANYMORE" He walked past by me and went inside his room.

I understand why he did that, i have to understand. If i were on his shoes, i would be very mad aswell but kicking me out of the house is a bit overboard. 

How am i going to live? And this baby? 

My mum didn't say any word. 

" i'm sorry mum.. I'm really really sorry" i cried. 

" have i not teach you about these things,haera?" She also cried.

" i'm sorry" i apologized again. " mum.. Please.. What am i going to do? Where am i going to live?" 

My mum didn't answer.

"Mum..." I begged and tried to hold her arms but she pushed me.

" you dissapoint me. " she went inside the room.

Then, i walked into my room and packed my things. 

To be continued...
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^.^ 
THANK YOU SOO MUCH :)