He hadn't called her.

She expected it.

Seulgi didn't resent him for that for many reasons but first because she understood why he hadn't and second because if she wanted, she could have called him too. But she didn't. Probably for the same reason he stopped contacting her too.

They were already done with the third year-end festival show and it was basically already 2016. Which meant more than two weeks without any sign from him.

She knew he was extremely busy with his recent comeback for EXO's new winter album, the year-end awards shows' dance practices and constant flights to catch, heading to different cities of Asia.

And she herself was busy so it was easier to keep her head away from strange thoughts. After all, he was the one who kissed her. He shouldn't have a reason to feel burdened although he probably did.

'I shouldn't have done that, what do I do now?' or 'She must be waiting for an answer but I have nothing to say.' Yeah, that's probably how he must feel, she thought.

Seulgi developed a new habit that she practiced only during her breaks, when there was nobody else around to disturb her and it was to try to think like Jongin. It started right after the crucial moment (it is how she refers to the kiss) when she walked back home and imagined all the scenarios possible that could take place because of it. If Jongin thinks like that, then he will do this. If Jongin does that, then I will finish like this and many other irrational thoughts to demystify the almighty and unpredictable Kim Jongin.

She could imagine whatever she wanted but at the end of the day they were all suppositions and she remained clueless.

During the many times they met for the glamorous shows, Seulgi and Jongin managed to do what they agreed on before so easily that it scared her a bit. They were supposed to act like strangers in front of the camera to not hurt each other, but were they really acting? They were ignoring each other when they were in the same room, pretending to not notice the other was near and most of all, not acknowledging the other's presence even when their own groups were interacting, a classic.

Seulgi was wondering if they were really pretending all those times where they coincidentally met or if they were simply mutually avoiding each other. It was probably the second option considering they barely even texted and that wasn't in front of cameras. She internally sighed every time he appeared on the screen but demonstrated a casual smile to show her support for her older label mates. She had to keep the smile up even if all she wanted to do was to go back home and crawl in her bed.

The awkward situation they were in was maybe too much to handle for old best friends suddenly reunited after another critical moment where one burst in tears like a crybaby and the other tried to ease the atmosphere.

What did she do to get into this mess?

Seulgi wanted to clear up the misunderstanding (or whatever that was since she couldn't tell and she lacked experience in those kind of things to know) before New Year's with the MBC Gayo but EXO didn't attend because of another schedule overseas and she didn't get the chance to meet him before the clock ticked midnight.

Mind you, she could have sent a text message to say 'I miss you' or 'I hope we can talk once you come back' or even 'Please don't ignore me, I might really die from it', but she simply said:

Happy New year's!                              

0:21 AM

:)                                                               

0:22 AM

seen. 

And he thanked her before wishing her the same. Their first interaction in almost three weeks was short and sweet.

Or dry and awkward it all depends on who is talking.

Red Velvet celebrated together in their cosy dorm with many different side dishes they bought before coming home and some cheap champagne their manager gave them with a long speech about the consequences of drinking irresponsibly. It felt like she was nagging at them before they even got the chance to do something wrong.

"She shouldn't give it to us if it's so bad," Joy said sarcastically to which Seulgi only chuckled.

"And don't look at me like this Yeri, you're not getting any," the manager concluded before giving Irene the large bottle. "Be careful with her, she might try something," she said to the latter.

Yeri scowled.

"If I'm not allowed to drink it than I don't want it in my house," the youngest said before running around in Red Velvet's designated room with the manager chasing after her for snatching the bottle.

Irene, Wendy and Seulgi could only sigh at the sight.

"Let's buy her some banana milkshake before going home," Wendy said to Irene tiredly.

"She'll only shut up once you get her Pepero," Joy let them know.

"Three boxes," Irene said. "We'll get her three boxes of Pepero."

Seulgi smiled at her leader before giving her a small shoulder massage. Irene was the most tired of them all unlike Yeri who had enough energy to go hiking if anyone proposed and she could feel it with the way the older member spoke so softly.

"We should get going," Seulgi said before taking her bag from the hairstylist's table. "I'm so hungry I could eat a horse".

"When are you not hungry in all honesty?" Wendy said while following the rest of the group outside.

"When she sees you and she loses appetite," Joy said before sticking out her tongue. "Merong."

The older girls all sighed and proceeded to get into the van quickly in case Yeri felt like going for another tantrum.

The road back home felt unusually long and even at home Seulgi felt restless. She was hopelessly waiting for another message even though she was pretty sure the conversation ended after his last response.

She celebrated with the rest of the girls and tried to let go of her worries for a short time. They danced, they joked around, they ate and they mostly screamed because that's what Red Velvet do when they are alone together.

Seulgi completely forgot her phone until the small party died down and her bandmates drifted to sleep on the couch or on the floor with pillows lying everywhere in the living room.

She carefully took her phone from Yeri's hand as she had been playing on it until she felt asleep and unlocked it slowly, scared to see what kind of notifications would hide behind the black screen.

There was nothing, obviously.

Seulgi her lips and unconsciously let out a disappointed sigh. She looked around to see her members sleeping next to her or in front of her feet and smiled a bit before quietly heading to her own bedroom.

She closed the door without a sound and plopped on her bed as soon as she was certain that she wouldn't disturb anyone"s sleep. Seulgi opened her phone again and clicked on Jongin's contact profile where was the selfie they took together at the stew restaurant and admired it proudly until she got sad again.

"Hello?" he said with a husky voice and Seulgi could clearly hear how surprised he was through the phone.

Oh no! He was probably sleeping!

Seulgi stared at her phone in panic as if it would cancel her sudden phone call and go back to a few seconds ago, when she was still hesitating between calling him or not.

"Seulgi?" he repeated again as she left him in complete silence for a whole minute.

Seulgi almost dropped the electronic device on the floor because her hands were trembling but still successfully brought the phone to her ear.

"Happy… new year," she sheepishly said.

Jongin didn't answer for the first 10 seconds and Seulgi could feel her cheeks burn even more. She facepalmed herself and automatically regretted thinking this would be a great idea. He probably thought she was some idiot who got enough time on her hands to bother him just to wish him the say thing twice in a day.

"Happy New Year's to you too," he said hesitantly.

Another silence followed and Seulgi gulped.

"That's why you called?"

"Ah no, not really," Seulgi blurted. She took a deep breath and continued. "I'm sorry, it was a bad idea, you were probably sleeping and you must be so tired. I'm really sorry," she rambled.

"It's fine," he reassured her with his low and soothing voice.

And they fell into another silence. Unlike the first, this one let Seulgi calm down and come back to her senses while Jongin rubbed his eyes to shake away the sleepiness.

"I don't know why I called you… I was just, hm..." she awkwardly confessed. "I don't know."

Jongin remained quiet and she could faintly hear his steady breathing in her ear. Her heart clenched.

"I miss you," she whispered.

"I miss you too," he said softly.

"I want to see you," Seulgi admitted. "We have to talk, no, we need to talk."

"We can't delay the talk anymore, can we," he teased and Seulgi's lips twitched upward in a smile.

"We can't."

Jongin took a moment to ruffle his hair and get up from bed. He surely wouldn't be able to fall back asleep after her unexpected phone call.

"I'm coming back tomorrow," he let her know and he heard a sudden gasp from her side.

"Already?"

Jongin smiled when he noticed the slight panic hidden in her voice.

"Didn't you say you missed me?"

Seulgi blushed and stuttered trying to take back her previous statement.

"I'll come to see you right after I land okay?"

"Right after," she slowly repeated to take note of what time she should get ready.

"You'll be the first I see so please, welcome me with a smile would you?" he jokingly pleaded.

"I'll try," she responded knowing fully her mind would go blank right after catching a glimpse of him and her legs would give up on her because of how nervous she was going to be. "On the rooftop?"

"On the rooftop," he confirmed.

"But it's freezing," she whined although she was the one to propose the place.

"You'll put your red bonnet."

"Are you mocking me?" Seulgi asked defensively. "You'll know that Wendy is the one who bought it for me and it is amazingly cute."

"It is," he chuckled. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Wait! When you say tomorrow, is it tomorrow as in really tomorrow or today because it is past midnight?" Seulgi restlessly asked.

"Oh right," Jongin laughed. "That would have been awkward. My flight is tomorrow, not today."

"Okay, I'll see you tomorrow," she confirmed again as she felt uneasy with ending the call. Seulgi truly missed him after all.

He wished her good night and they both closed their phone after they were certain it was over.

Seulgi heaved a long sigh and fell back on her bed. She still had over 24 hours to prepare herself for their confrontation but she also knew there was no way to prepare herself for whatever was going to happen soon. Seulgi knew it too well: their relationship wouldn't survive another dispute and her heart could surely not handle a second heartbreak so they would either make it or break it tomorrow.

The day passed so slowly Seulgi thought it would never end. She tried to occupy herself by meeting with her older brother and going out to eat with Yeri but she couldn't shake off the heavy feeling lying in the bottom of her stomach. She wasn't hungry but she was certainly stressed and felt unwell every time she saw an EXO poster in the streets. Yeri pointed out how Seulgi wasn't paying much attention and everything made her flinch but the latter only laughed it off by saying she was tired.

She received a message text from Jongin when she woke up the next morning to inform her that he would be there in a few more hours. Seulgi seriously felt like throwing up with how nervous she was.

She still washed up, chose nice and warm clothes, styled her hair and put minimal makeup before coming out of her room to eat breakfast.

Irene who was always up early saw her eating alone in the kitchen and showed a surprised expression to the younger girl when she realized she was fully clothed and ready to go out anytime soon.

"What's up with you? Shouldn't you be sleeping?" Irene mocked while opening the fridge to take out some milk for her favorite cereals. "Yeri even said you were tired last night."

Seulgi shrugged while finishing up her