"Is he in love?" Seulgi thought out loud on the black sofa of the practice room while glancing subtly at the mirror in front of her. 

There was loud music playing in the room to go over her voice so she didn't worry about being heard and kept talking on her own. Seulgi glanced over the clock from time to time before returning back to her monologue while picking on a plate of fresh fruits placed on her laps.

"Maybe it is a bit too early to tell," she answered to her own question. "Waiting for more hints is the only reasonable option," she concluded before nodding to herself. She was being wise.

While Seulgi continued to talk about her pretty limited love options, Jongin who had been dancing in the middle of the room for over an hour went to the music control panel and turned down the volume to understand what she had been mumbling since the beginning. Although he couldn't hear her, he saw her lips move in the mirror whenever he looked her way and it was disturbing to know that she was talking without being able to understand her so he became distracted from his dancing.

She was a whole distraction herself he admitted a bit later. It wasn't that she was being y or especially cute or even wearing a flashy attire (she was sitting leisurely on the couch with her usual sneakers, some deep blue ripped jeans and an oversized sweater she tucked in her pants), it was just hard for him to stay focused when she bit her lip repeatedly because she couldn't come to a hypothetical scenario that made sense.  He chuckled while wondering what could be so important that it had her ripping her hair off like that. Sometimes their eyes met but she was so deep in thoughts that she simply continued to think evasively and diverted her eyes without truly realizing he was looking at her.

"Love can be a dangerous game,"  she unconsciously blabbed while  bending to safely put the fruits next to her feet on the ground.

She hadn't even realized that Jongin was looking at her nor that she could be clearly heard over the joyful Christmas themed music.

"What are you doing?" he asked her, crouching a bit too close when taking the plate from her hands to put it on the table of the music control panel. Seulgi gaped a bit because of how close their faces were and the warm breath that came from his subtle panting that grazed her lips. She could have sworn that he would have probably guessed she had only eaten the strawberries from the plate if she hadn't stopped breathing from the shock of being so close.

She automatically stuttered like it was some kind of self-defense while lifting herself up to sit straight on the couch.

"P-playing a game," she awkwardly said.

"What game?" Jongin asked before plopping himself next to her on the comfortable black sofa. He glanced at the phone in her hands and softly laughed when he saw a nice-looking man on the screen with a rose telling her she was "beautiful" in a pink and overly decorated with flowers chatting box. He stopped laughing altogether when he remembered that she was holding his phone.

"Why are you playing an otome game on my phone?" he accentuated to show how much he disapproved.

"You said I could do what I want after finishing the third donjon!" Seulgi reminded him. "And it's not an otome game, it's a virtual simulation of the love life of a high-schooler."

High schooler who was more experimented than a 22 years old well-known idol with many fans and a few male celebrities admirers she sadly noted. Seulgi didn't exactly keep up with the other idols so her fans always made it their mission to notice her when a celebrity mentioned her positively on a public surface through fan signs or Instagram but she never made much of it. Although she didn't quite remember their names (she was never good with names), Seulgi knew  that most of them were rappers. She had heard of a few models and two singers too but her fans just sent her pictures so if she didn't recognize them at first, she gave it up since she didn't want to go around her dorm asking who was the male on the picture.

Jongin grimaced.

"Where's the difference?"

"I'll uninstall it when I'm done," she shrugged off before returning back to the game while Jongin eyed her the whole time. "Are you going to look at me play or practice for your upcoming comeback?" 

Jongin sighed before getting up to restart the song and arrange the volume back to its initial state.

He was dancing to Unfair. She recognized the playful song from the others after the first few seconds. He had warned her on their phone call this morning when he invited her to listen to his new Christmas mini-album that it would probably be boring but he truly needed to practice.

They were actually supposed to go eat sushis together in Hong Kong after the MAMA awards but were rushed back to Korea in no time for another schedule so their plans got cancelled. To make it up for it, Jongin proposed that they would go to the movies and watch a nice film but it was also the premiere of a movie where a famous actor starred in so they settled for their usual dance practice room where there was no chance of being deranged. It wasn't as delicious as sushis or as interesting as a good movie but nothing could make them feel safer than this cozy dance practice room that bore all their secrets and memories. The room of their childhood.

It had been renovated but many things stayed the same. Jongin and Seulgi could still perfectly picture the room's previous look in their head like it was yesterday.

She scoffed at him. What was wrong with a simulation game? So what if it was simulating someone else's love life? It wasn't Seulgi's fault that the questions the heroine asked herself were the same she had. Plus, she considered using the game to tame her own worries. You can always learn from any situation, she thought to convince herself that she wasn't being foolish.

So she kept playing with his phone until she got bored of receiving the same old compliments from seven different guys and put down Jongin's phone on the couch.

She looked at him making cute expressions in the mirror and subtly laughed.

"I'm being professional," he yelled over the music to justify himself. "It's a cute song."

She simply nodded with a mocking smile.

She took his phone again and unlocked it with the password he revealed to her and took a picture of the mirror in which he kept making his cute smiles and she copied him with a peace sign and a wink that looked more like she blinked cutely. She laughed again and that brought his attention back on her. He raised his eyebrow and she showed him the picture between two laughs. He groaned while she kept laughing.

Jongin went on to the music control panel and changed the song for Girl x Friend before turning down a bit the volume and making his way to sit next to her. That was enough for today: he couldn't stay focused and she was clearly getting bored enough to take silly pictures of them like this one. He hadn't thought of this kind of scenario when he gave her his password last time. Jongin just wanted to show her how much he trusted her enough to give her access to everything he had but she brushed it off by reminding him that he lost his phone every month anyway.

With the way he decided to sit, their shoulders intimately touched and he probably did it on purpose to , Seulgi thought, but she didn't do anything about it except becoming more self-conscious. She shifted a bit but stayed still and blushed whenever he looked at her with a knowing smile.

Yeah, at some point we started spending every day

As if we were one instead of two

We’re best friends, childhood friends

All the reasons for us to know each other very well

Seulgi listened to the song and smiled unconsciously at the lyric that seemed familiar. It was like her thoughts had been transformed into music. Just not too long ago she had realized that they spent a lot of time together and wondered if it was too much. After all, they were meeting way more than before, they talked on the phone basically whenever they could and texted every day. Irene, Yeri and even Wendy had for that but Seulgi always said to defend herself that they were simply catching up on the three years they spent without each other in a short time. Whenever she was on the phone they would go around yelling Seulgi and Jongin under a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G without asking who she was talking to since most of the time it was truly Jongin and she would run away to a quiet place because there was no way she was gonna let her dad or Jongin hear that. As for Joy, she said would be worth her teasing, whatever that meant.

They remained silent for a while since she was listening to the song and giving it her full attention while he was deep in thought. She still had his phone in her hand and the screen was showing their recent picture as it rested on her lap. Jongin took her hand to look at the picture more closely and smiled when he realized the details he had missed the first time from being too far.

When I think about it

Those times seemed like they’d last forever

Bright spring days when we were both young

I liked everything because I was with you

My school days were special

No matter where I look it’s all clear memories

(Forever on my mind) Yeah

"Is the song about you and me?" she jokingly asked.

"Not that I remember, why?" he asked with a curious smile before letting go of her hand and putting it back on her lap.

"Doesn't it scream Jongin and Seulgi to you?" she asked a bit surprised that he didn't see the resemblance to their story. "I mean, the childhood friends, the best friends, the nice memories, the school days… Everything corresponds."

"Everything?" he asked as he raised his left eyebrow.

Seulgi looked at him a bit confused. Why, yes everything was right. They were best friends, they had known each other since childhood, they had gone to the same school, they thought the same way, they knew each other very well and they saw each other all the time. She didn't get where he was going with this then it hit her with the next verse.

I remember you with my eyes

I trace you with my mind and I feel warm

If you feel the same as I do

Please remember me

Once this winter passes

If I still feel the same, I’ll tell you

Honestly

I’m in love with you

She blushed hard and tried to make it seem like she didn't mean what she said but Jongin just laughed. As the song kept going, Seulgi couldn't believe she said that and exposed herself so openly.

They say it’s obvious that I like you

Even if deny it, all my friends tease me

I threw around pointless lies so easily

Saying that you weren’t my type

Everything was so right that it felt wrong.

We stayed up all night

Texting as we dozed off

Played childish pranks

We used to, yeah we used to

You were always by my side

Seulgi literally face palmed herself and Jongin looked at her with the same mix of curiosity and playfulness he had earlier in his smile.

"Why?" he asked. "Didn't you say everything corresponded?"

"Please don't tease me," she begged with a groan. "I clearly didn't know what the song was about".

Jongin eyed her cautiously a bit and bit his lower lip.

"So what? Does the rest of the song scream less Jongin and Seulgi?" he asked without the trace of a joke in his tone.

Seulgi lifted her eyes to look at him but he was expressionless and kept his eyes fixated on her. Was he trying to make her say something she didn't want to say? Was it another trap? Seulgi gulped when she realized she couldn't find any answer to his question. She had to admit that love simulation game was pretty useless for her. What a waste of time, really.

She would have to lie if she wanted to preserve the progress they made on their friendship but she promised that she wouldn't lie to him. The other problem was that if she didn't lie, she would go against her own promise to herself to never confess to Jongin again with how dramatic and ugly it became between them the last time she did. Was she ready to repeat the same mistake again? And would she be able to go through a second rejection and another heartbreak? Probably not. Either way, she was going to break a promise, so it was about what consequence would hurt her the least. 

Oh how everything would be so much easier if she knew how he felt about her. Who cares about her thousand questions when the real one is does Jongin love her? The safest way was to always assume that he didn't. She couldn't get brave and confess like a brainless and inexperienced chick like she did before. Seulgi was probably living the biggest dilemma of her life and she didn't know what to do under his unyielding stare.

He sighed when he saw that she couldn't answer and brushed it off with a warm smile.

"I had a dream last night," he said out of nowhere.

Seulgi relaxed and wanted to move a bit further from him to be able to breathe more comfortably after the problematic situation she had just escaped from but was held back by his hand. He turned to her side and rested his arm on the backseat of the couch so he was totally facing her. She couldn't escape him.

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