In a few days Baekhyun found himself being helped to Chanyeol’s car. Baekhyun pretended to sleep and they spent the entire ride in strained silence. The members welcomed him cautiously, no doubt warmly, when they arrived, as if they were worried he would be mentally unstable. Baekhyun tried his best to be his regular self, accepting a party hat, clapping his hands, arranging his face into a broad smile when they tried to make him laugh.

He kept Yixing at the corner of his eye. He didn’t have the heart to look into the sad, sad eyes and know he was the center of it. He didn’t have the courage to look at the pale face, dark circles and eye bags because he knew he was the cause of it. He didn’t have the guts to look at him because he knew that if he did, he wouldn’t be able to reject him again. It hurt too much.

It got late and Chanyeol cooked a simple meal for everyone. He took Yixing’s usual spot beside Baekhyun at the table and Yixing sat as far away as possible, wedged between Sehun and Kyungsoo. Baekhyun forced his usual smile and cheer, pretending not to notice the looks the rest exchanged. Small talk was thrown back and forth across the table, and to an outsider it may have looked like any other meal they have had in the past 4 years, but to Yixing it was an agony he wished he would never have to experience ever again.

He sneaked glances at the small boy sitting across the table and it was the same beautiful eyes, same messy blond hair, same rectangular smile. Only there was someone else beside him, someone else he chose over him, someone who kept piling Baekhyun’s plate with the food he loved, someone who picked the cucumber out of the salad he fed into his mouth.