He saw the words. Stage 4.

Through the vast fog that had replaced his brain he vaguely heard Chanyeol talking about treatment and therapy and schedules and performances, but at that moment he couldn’t have cared less.

He had lived 24 years of his life without contemplating the concept of death, of finality, and suddenly this was it. The monster in him grew bigger by the day, and every cell in him screamed fatigue. He was a timed bomb, and when he ran out of the months and days and minutes and seconds, he’s going to blow up, and everyone around him was going to get hurt.

Yixing. Yixing would never be able to take it.

And at the point Baekhyun saw a harsh, blinding light, and he knew he made a decision. For a split second he felt relief, before the hatred and pain and uncertainty crashed upon him wave after endless wave.

He would never let Yixing go through the pain of losing the love of his life.

It wouldn’t be so hard if he hated him, if he was only a part of his past. The mere thought of only being a part of Yixing’s past sent a piercing pain through Baekhyun’s heart, so great that he had to squeeze his eyes shut and breathe through clenched teeth.

Baekhyun swatted away Chanyeol’s hand from where it was reaching for the emergency button. “I’m okay.”

He knew it was stupid. He knew it was the worst way to live this small remainder of his life, but he loved Yixing, he loved him so much that he wanted to save whatever parts of him he could from destruction.