CHAPTER 7

Kim Yong-sun belongs to a quite coservative family where everyone conforms to the rather "old-school" values of the society; Not that it's completely bad or anything. It could however sometimes be a cause of ignorance. Solar grew up being taught that one way of thinking is the only right way. She was not asked to do things; She was TOLD to do them. She was rasied such that she had little to no control over her life decisions, and the bars for their expectations from her were set too high to the point of being unrealistic.

This is the main reason why Yong-sun's known as the all-smile, comical leader, and meme queen: Solar- although nobody really knows that. It was refreshing for the poor girl to be able to live her own life when she had joined RBW. She loved the idea of being able to break structure and predictability without being told off.  She liked that she could commit mistakes without getting her ears chewed off by constant nagging and scolding from not only her parents, but the entirety of her family tree. She would grab every chance to do something silly without being told to stop being childish. She would use "Solar" to escape the hell that is Yong-sun's life.

Although there are some things we just could not escape from. Like the arms wrapped around her now, locking her in a tight hug- making it hard for her to breathe. It's not like she didn't like it. She was just not comfortable with it. It didn't make sense, did it? Yong-sun thought so too, but it's certainly the best way she could describe what she'd been feeling whenever Moonbyul's around her. It's like watching a horror movie where you sit there and watch the whole thing, loving the thrill you get from it but cursing yourself after because it kept you awake all night, and then you swear to keep yourself away from it but you still somehow find yourself doing it yet again.

Moonbyul is Yong-sun's horror movie- not that she would want to get away from her; Although she wouldn't admit that to herself, nor to anyone, and definitely not to her family. No. Nope. Not. Never. Especially when they've already questioned her friendship with the younger girl.

-

Flashback

"Yong-sun", her mother called out from outside her room. She was staying over her parents' house as they went to out for dinner that night. She planned on going back to her dorm bright and early the next day.

"Yes?"

"Come out for a second darling. Your father and I wanted to talk to you about something."

Yong-sun got out of bed with a heavy heart. She couldn't remember any conversation that starts with those words ending well enough for her. She opened the door rather slowly as she prayed to all the angels and saints that it wasn't anything serious.

Her mother was standing there, her whole body stiff and her face free of any expression. Yong-sun gulped.

"What is it?", she asked.

Her mother turned around and said, "Follow me" as she led the way to the living room where her father was already sat, his hands on his lap with his fingers interwined- an obvious sign of an impending important talk. Her mother sat beside him while Yong-sun took a seat across from them.

"Yong-sun," her father started. His voice so deep she could literally feel the chills just from hearing it.

Mamamoo's leader kept her head low as she stared at her hands on her lap.

"We were just wondering", he continued. "And we want you to answer honestly."

Yong-sun could feel the cold sweat forming on her forehead and palms.

"What's going on with you and that rapper from your group?"

At this, Yong-sun looked up, her face contorted in both shock and confusion. This was the question she had least expected and prepared for. She had well-thought reasons as to why she made a mistake with the choreography from last week's performance or why she forgot to sing some of her lines in a radio show; But this, she had nothing for this.

"Uhhh", she said, her voice cracking a bit. "What do you mean?"

"We meant that you seem to be a little too close with her", her father said.

"I'm close with all the members", Yong-sun answered back, sounding a bit defensive.

"I said you seem a little TOO close", her father repeated, emphasizing on his point.

"I don't think so."

"Oh yeah? Is that the reason why MoonSun had been trending on the internet last week after you uploaded a video of you two on a date?", her father said. His decibels seemed to have risen in contained anger.

"A date? We were eating!", Yong-sun answered with frustration very apparent in her voice. "And it's for the fans!"

"Why do you have to keep touching each other?"

"She was touching me. I wasn't touching her."

"Why did you let her?"

"Where are you going with this?!", Yong-sun said. She didn't know when, but she realised her hands were already gripping her pyjamas.

"We're just concerned", her father defended.

"Concerned about what??? What do you have to be concerned about a simple fan service???", Yong-sun asked. Her eyebrows squished together in confusion. She just couldn't understand how the conversation was even necessary.

"That it isn't just fan service."

"Oh for 's sake!", Yong-sun exhaled in frustration.

"Watch your language, Kim Yong-sun!", her mother, who seemed to to be quiet all this time, ordered. "Your father and I were just looking after you."

"I'm not gay."

"We know", her mother said, now sounding a bit more calm.

Her father added, "We just don't feel comfortable with you hanging around Byul-yi."

"She's not a bad person."

"We never said she were."

"You were kind of implying it. She isn't even gay."

"You never know. She keeps talking about Krystal."

"Stop it! Don't make some cringeworthy comments. Nobody's gay in our group, okay? And even if there was, I'm not like that. I would never be", Yong-sun said. "So please let's not talk about it again."

An awkward silence followed before her father said, "I can promise that if you can promise me that you meant what you said."

"And I suggest that you try and stay away from Moon Byul-yi", her mother added. Yong-sun knew it was more of a demand than a suggestion.

-

Solar felt the arms around her waist tighten even further. "Yah!", she said as she pushed Moonbyul away. The latter only laughed.

"You're too cute."

"And you're too greasy."

They were getting ready to film their new MV and the two girls were chit-chatting while the maknaes were still in the dressing room.

"You love it", Moonbyul teased as she she fixed her fringe. She had the habit of doing so eversince she had it cut for their debut 2 years ago.

Solar rolled her eyes. "I hate it."

Moonbyul continued laughing and said, "Which is why I do it" as she stuck her tongue out. "Would you want me to stop though?", she asked as she stared directly on Solar's eyes. The latter just stared back and said nothing, hanging open as if she was about to say something but struggled to get the words out.

"Moonbyul! Let's film your rap first since you're ready!", a staff member called out.

Moonbyul smirked. "I guess not", she said as she left a dumbfounded Solar behind.

-

They were in the maknae's living room, watching a romantic movie that no one had really paid attention on as they were all tired from filming. The two young girls were cuddling on the couch. Hwa Sa was on the inner side, her back on the couch and her arms around Whee In, who was facing her, reciprocating the hug.

Moonbyul had herself carelessly splayed on the floor. She was the first one to fall fast asleep five minutes through the movie.

Solar just got out of Hwa Sa's room to get some blankets for the members. She walked towards the maknaes and almost tripped over the rapper who was probably in dreamland at that moment. She stepped over her and draped a blanket over the younger girls. She then turned around and crouched down to wake the person on the floor.

"Byul", she said as she tapped the main dancer's shoulder.

"Hmm."

"Take Hwa Sa's bed. She's sleeping on the couch."

"No. You take the bed", Moonbyul said just above a whisper, tiredness laced in her voice.

"Of course I am taking her bed. There's no way I would be sleeping on a cold hard floor."

"Exactly. Which is why I'm staying here."

"No. Exactly why you're not. The floor's cold and uncomfortable."

"But you're taking the bed."

"Yes, that's correct; And you're coming with me."

"There's only one bed."

"Moon Byul-yi I know there's only one bed, and we're taking it. Now get your up. I'm really tired. I'm literally two seconds away from passing out", Solar said as she stood up and went to the direction of Hwa Sa's room.

"Oh." Moonbyul stood abruptly and followed the leader in small but quick steps. "We're sleeping together?"

Solar looked at her as she reached to open the door to the room. "It sounds so bad when you say it like that. It's not like we've never slept in the same room before."

Moonbyul bowed her head in embarassment. "True."

Solar took the right side of the bed while Moonbyul took the other.

"Goodnight", Solar said as she turned the night light off.

-

Moonbyul sighed. "Can't sleep?"

"How did you know?"

"You're breathing."

"How can you tell just by my breathing?"

Moonbyul shrugged even though the other person couldn't see it. "I just can."

"You're weird."

"I'm just telling the truth."

Dead air. The two girls had their backs facing each other, both in a fetal position hugging a pillow each. The wind outside could be heard over the deafening silence enveloping the room. It's ten past two in the morning but for some unknown reason, the girls' fatigue had long been gone the moment they took their positions on the bed.

"Byul."

"Hm?"

"You don't really like Krystal, do you?"

"I... What do you mean?"

"Like, like her?"

"I do."

"You do?"

"I do."

"Are you... Are you gay?"

Silence.

"I don't know. Maybe?"

Silence.

"Hey", Moonbyul said but still heard no response. She turned around to face Solar, who hadn't moved from her position at all.

"Yong-sun unnie."

Still no answer.

"Yongdonni."

Nothing.

"Heyyyy."

Moonbyul never felt so uneasy. She started biting her bottom lip as her heart began to race.

"Kim Yong-s.."

"I don't think we can be friends."

Moon Byul-yi felt her whole world shatter, and it only took seven words to do that.