“I’ve got a question,” I tell him as we continue to walk hand-in-hand. Sehun and I left the party when the guys started drinking. Sehun didn’t want to enjoy himself too much, taking to consideration that he’s got a lady with him and all that. It would have been fine and I could have stayed around, but Sehun insisted we skip it. So now, we’re walking on the shore without our shoes on as my feet enjoys the texture of the sand.

“Ask away,”

“So, when I met your dad, he kind of poured information on me—a bit too much for someone as your intern, but now that it’s no longer the case, I want to know more. Will you tell me?” I ask, plastering a hopeful face and he lets out an exasperated sigh.

“What is there to tell? Knowing my dad, he probably told you everything,” He tells me dismissively.

“It’s not fair how you get to hear my stories from me and I only hear yours from other people,”

“Not my fault you talk too much,” He rudely spats and I gasp, darting him a look. Sehun opens his mouth to say something but I take my hand away from him and walk away. He calls my name but I don’t turn to him, “Are you being serious right now?”

“I’d tell you but then I don’t want to be talking too much,”

“They got divorced on my 7th birthday!” He exclaims and I stop my tracks, nonplussed. I turn to him and he looks at me with a frown on his face as he stands away from me. Sehun briefly looks at the sand and then gazes at me, his brows furrowed and his forehead creasing deeper, “And they kept fighting about who keeps what, who gets the company, who gets more money, who gets custody over me. The divorce happened, eventually, but that was something I saw coming after all the arguments they had and all the fragile things they broke in the house,”

“Sehun-”

“In high school, I tried to get them back together, but my mother moved out and my dad kept going out of the country so it was hard to let them meet. And then I found out my mother was seeing Jongin’s father and that he was cheating on his wife,” My eyes widen upon his statement. Sehun’s eyebrows are still furrowed and his eyes are filled of nothing but pain and my heart clenches at the sight of him being like this.

“Then my dad re-married a year later, got divorced a year later. My mother migrated, found a man, got married and then got divorced. My father sent me overseas for college, saw him once or twice every year for my birthday. My mother calls me when she finds out anything bad is happening in the company and asks me to personally take care of it. So, what else do you want to know, huh?” He sounds mad and my feet is glued on the ground. I want to rush to him and comfort him but I feel like there’s a wall around him now that I pushed him to tell his story. Regret rushes through me, wishing I should have been more considerate and that I should have known that it’s something he isn’t comfortable talking about. My mouth hangs open while the words I’m sorry is currently stuck somewhere in my throat, unable to expel it.

“S-Sehun I didn’t mean to,” I mutter and he looks away. Gone is the sweet Sehun and all I’m with is the terror boss, furious at his intern, “I’m sorry I just wanted to know and hear it from you. I didn’t know it would-”

“Stop looking at me like that. Christ!” He glares at me and I’m just looking at him like a scared three-year-old girl. I feel like I am about to be punished for stealing cookies in the cookie jar, “This is why I didn’t want to tell you this! I don’t want to get that look from you! I don’t want you to look at me like they did; I don’t want you to look at me pitifully,”

“Sehun I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. I had no bad intentions. I just wanted to hear the truth I-”

“You want the truth? Here’s the truth, Haerin. He’s got problems with feelings because he grew up around people who didn’t consider how he felt. He gets nightmares of his parents’ divorce ever since they separated. His childhood is so ty he could’ve skipped that part if he could. His best friend ed his girlfriend and no one stayed around long enough to see him. If anything, you picked a man who has been dropped and left behind by the people he expected to be there for him and right now he’s hoping you won’t look at him differently despite knowing he’s not perfect; that he just happens to be a pretty face with everything handed to him,”

I gape at him, speechless for what he just said. I had no idea he thought of himself that way. Sehun turns around and curses as he runs his hands through his head. He turns to me with an apologetic face and the next thing I know, he’s already past me and all I do is let my eyes follow his figure walk farther away from me. He walks to the patio and then into the beach house and all I hear is my heart falling along with the waves crashing.

My heart clenched for the way he has been seeing himself. I’m standing here, confused, wondering why no one has bothered to confront him about this and comfort him. Was it because he distanced himself? If so, isn’t that more reason to pull him back? To chase him, to make sure he doesn’t distance himself far enough from anyone? Was it because they were scared; scared that he might reject them? If so, isn’t he worth the try? Maybe my perspective is clouded and I may be biased considering that I don’t know why his parents did what they did, but seeing how he actually thinks of himself, I can’t help but grow frustrated with the fact that no one bothered to let him know he isn’t a baggage left behind, no one told him he’s more than what he thinks he is, that he turned out to be a great man, that he’s got such a big heart and there’s no reason to be scared of showing that. Why did they let him live all these years, belittling himself?

Now it’s clear to me. This is why he’s sharp. This is why he works sixteen hours a day and doesn’t know how to rest. This is why he wants everything to be perfect, why he must get his job done the way it’s supposed to, why he must attend every client meeting, why he puts himself out there and involves himself in everything at work. It’s all because of everyone he had pleased, there’s one person he needs to prove himself to—himself. At the end of the day, he wants to think to himself that he’s worthy to be a boss and that he’s worthy of every responsibility given to him. He wants to prove to himself every waking day that he isn’t just the boy his parents’ left behind and got everything served in a silver platter. He wants to prove to himself that he can be someone worth staying for, worth considering, worth caring for, worth that one thing he’s been deprived of—love.

My feet drags me back inside the beach house and everything’s dark except for the living room, which is slightly cascaded by the light coming from the fireplace. I see a figure on the couch. He’s got both his elbows resting on his thighs and has his head down. When I walk further, I see his hands intertwined with one another. I stand in front of him and look down. Sehun takes my hand and he holds onto it for a while before he pulls me forward and crashes his head on my stomach as he wraps his arms tight around my waist. He holds me like he’s one more breath away from completely shattering into pieces. I bend to kiss the top of his head and run my hands through his soft hair. We stay silent and just hold each other. I let him hug me as tight as he could, as long as he wants. I’ll stand here in front of him and let him hold onto me the entire night if it means it’ll hold him together. I want this man to feel that he’s got someone now.

Sehun looks up without letting go and I’m struck to see his eyes, no there weren’t tears but they were so melancholic I don’t think my heart has ached as much as it does now. I place both of my hands on either side of his face as I look at him intently in the eyes. He looks so sad and scared and never have I ever thought I’d see him this way. I don’t tear my gaze away from him. I lower myself, my knees meeting the carpet as I level his face and put both my hands on either side of it.

I smile warmly at him and let my thumb caress his cheek, “I heard your truth, now hear mine.”

“Truth is, whatever he went through—as sad and as painful as it was—it made him the person he is today; a strong man. Having to go through something like that at such a young age, it made him an admirable person for being brave and independen