Thursday

300 HOURS
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Sehun,

 

Truthfully, instead of sending this letter, I feel like I should personally see you. But being the coward I am, I’m getting on a plane as you read this. I want you to know that what I did, I did them because I thought I was protecting you, only to realize that I was doing the exact opposite. I thought I was keeping you out of trouble when I’m the one putting you in them. No amount of apologies will ever make up for what I did, I know. I know it now and I am, from the bottom of my heart, truly sorry. I didn’t realize my selfishness was hurting you and that I was the cause of your problems and pain. When your father and I separated, jealousy and greed had taken me over, making me the person that I am now—which I know no one, not even you, would be proud of to call me your mother. I am so sorry for not seeing you and the wonderful man you’ve become. I am so sorry you’ve felt neglected all this time. I missed out so many great stories and great achievements from you. I missed out being a mother to someone as amazing as you. I’m sorry for not being as motherly as I should have been. I wish I cherished you more, seen you more, bonded with you more and understood you more. All those years I didn’t see you enough, it didn’t mean I loved you any less. I guess seeing you just hit that part of me in the past that reminds me of the terrible marriage I had with your father. Seeing you made me feel guilty for leaving you behind. Seeing you made me see reality—that life isn’t always perfect—and it scared me so I hid. I hid when I shouldn’t have and I’m very sorry.

 

There is no excuse for my actions and I am not asking you to forgive me because I now know what I’ve truly done. For what it’s worth, I am not proud of what I’ve done to you and Haerin. You both deserved to be happy but I ruined that. She’s a good girl who loves her family and was willing to sacrifice her happiness of being with you just to save her loved ones. Sadly, she wouldn’t have to choose if I didn’t make her. I’m sorry for dragging you both into this. My selfishness had caused you both pain and sadness and I will never forgive myself, knowing that I’m the reason my son couldn’t be happy.

 

If it isn’t too late, I hope you two could give it another chance. If there’s anyone I’d want my son to be with, it should be with a girl who knows how to treasure her family because I know she won’t turn out like me. She won’t be selfish enough to leave you like I left your father.

 

We probably won’t be seeing each other anytime soon because of what I’ve done and I understand that. Just know that I love you and I’m sorry.

 

Sincerely, Mom

 

I finished reading her e-mail and I feel this pinch in my chest. It stings a bit. A part of me wished she was here instead, but maybe it really is hard for her to face me after everything she had done. The pain isn’t all gone but somehow the anger is fading. I know I deserve more than a letter with a few hundred words. I know I deserve a thorough explanation. But I also know that we both aren’t ready to go through that road. All these years, it’s just been anger and pain whenever I see my parents. If I want to understand them, what they went through, how it all went down, I know I need to free myself from all this so I can listen to them with a lighter heart. Right now I am choosing to give my mother a chance and my dad, too. But I won’t be bothering them for the time being. After everything that happened, we all need time to ourselves before we meet again. We’ll take it slow and one step at a time. One day we’ll get there, I just know it.

 

I close the e-mail as my new secretary enters my office, “Sir, Ms. Kim is here to see you,”

 

“Let her in,” I tell her and she stands aside to let my beautiful ex-girlfriend enter the office. I stand up and meet her as she walks inside and I wrap my arms around her figure. My new secretary looks at us in shock as gapes, “Thank you, Irene,” I tell and dismiss her. She bows and leaves Haerin and I inside the office.

 

“She seems nice,” Haerin mutters as we pull away from the hug, “Don’t ruin her life please,” She says as some kind of joke and I make a face at her. I tug her hand and lead her to seat on the couch. We sit together as she fishes out her documents from her bag. I observe her, the way her hair falls to her face and the way she’s casually dressed. I haven’t signed anything yet and I miss her already.

 

As soon as she collects the documents from her bag, she faces me again with a smile and hands it all to me. I take it and scan the paper, “Oh, by the way, is it okay if you e-mail me your recommendation letter or should I get one from Ms. Kang instead?” She asks as I flip the pages of the paper.

 

“No. Just give me the e-mail of your internship adviser and I’ll make sure to send it to her,” I say as I continue reading. I feel her eyes on me so I look at her. She looks at me inquisitively, “I can’t send you my recommendation letter. You’re not supposed to read it before your adviser. Don’t you know that?”

 

She frowns, “Why do you have to know everything? I thought I was going to get away with that,” She starts pouting and I look at her hoping I can show some disinterest in her actions even though I’m trying so hard not to fall for it, “But I want to read it. You might put something embarrassing in there,”

 

“I don’t need to write something embarrassing. Your talent of self-embarrassment already covered that part,” I and she whacks my arm as she crosses her arms. I chuckle at h

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Baekhyunsoul
#1
Chapter 29: The dream within a dream I wanted to die for her
Baekhyunsoul
#2
Chapter 27: This part was beautiful 😻
Baekhyunsoul
#3
Chapter 26: Well damn— now I’m crying for him😭😭😭
Baekhyunsoul
#4
Chapter 25: Okay so I’m crying now for real 😭that was so harsh
Baekhyunsoul
#5
Chapter 24: I don’t get it!?? I don’t get him- why did he break her like that!?? He had the perfect opportunity to change things 😭
Baekhyunsoul
#6
Chapter 23: I ship them- I wish he gave her fuzzies as much as Sehun Since he’s liked her from the very very beginning 🥹
Baekhyunsoul
#7
Chapter 22: Honestly- I’m so proud she said as much as she did to Sehun. He didn’t even give it a good moment before he backstroked out of it as hard as he did
Baekhyunsoul
#8
Chapter 19: Ughh….! It’s so hard to decide who to ship because Sehun has been so sweet and heartfelt but Jongin was there from the start being warm and witty and welcoming and wanted her first
Baekhyunsoul
#9
Chapter 18: The whole chase scene made me think of them in the mud- I have that pic of Baekhyun, muddied and smiling on my phone
Baekhyunsoul
#10
Chapter 15: That last moment made me squeal inside 😍