What a nightmare. When the alarm goes off, I immediately sit up and shake my head to get rid of the nightmare I just had. I can’t particularly remember what it was actually about, but it had something to do with my brother going away. Immediately, there’s a pang of disinterest in me, something that’s keeping me from preparing for my day. Every single time I get a nightmare like this, I just know I’m going to have a very bad day. Groaning, I stand up and force myself to prepare for the day.

I finish dressing up—a shirt, jeans, and a really thick red sweater. I look at Mr. Oh’s planner and review his schedule for today. He’s got a general meeting with the staff from the art department today. Mr. Oh’s week has been very busy. Lots of meetings, places to go from the other end of the city to another, lots of people to talk to, and most definitely lots of work to do. I recall my first two weeks of working for him and remember that I’ve probably only had two hours of sleep a day. We go to the office as early as 7am and go home at 12 midnight at most. But going home, I have more stuff to do—the tasks Mr. Oh asked me to take home. It honestly feels like I’ve been having my finals for two weeks now. If this were finals in campus, it would only take me four days before I get a proper sleep. He’s also been doing an awesome job at yelling at me. I try to think of it as unintentional, that he’s just trying get rid of the stress. Mr. Dyo gave me an advice to let it in the right ear, and let it go out of the left ear. I’ve also been told by Mr. Byun and Mr. Park not to take it personally. So I don’t. But it has been making me feel like , a lot.

Mr. Oh gave me a storyboard to finish with 120 frames. The first 30 frames are already drawn before he gave it to me, saying that he doesn’t like the storyboard artist’s work. Of course given that opportunity, I don’t want to mess it up. I stay up all night drawing. It’s due in three days and I have at least 15 last frames to finish. I wish I could work on it during office hours when Mr. Oh is out, but everyone is literally asking for help. Mr. Kai has been consulting with me, asking for my opinion about the movie trailer his team has been working on. Actually, Mr. Kai’s been reprimanding his team a lot. I remember him yelling last Tuesday because nobody could get a proper, fitting font for the theme of the movie. He asked for me and when I made a suggestion, he told his people to run with it. Mr. Byun and Mr. Park has been stealing me for Mr. Oh as well, leaving my boss sort of pissed off. The two have been asking me to accompany them in recording because Mr. Park is not humanly capable of playing the drums and the guitar at the same time, so I had to fill one of the instruments while they record it together. Fortunately for me, Mr. Dyo isn’t asking for help as much as the rest does. He actually gave me a bread yesterday when I couldn’t get up from my desk to eat lunch because of the load of work to get done. Mr. Kim just got back from his convention in London a week ago, who asked me to address him as Mr. Joonmyeon to avoid confusion and so far he has only been asking me small favors like getting him coffee or pick up stuff from the art department for him to review. Other than that, it’s mostly just chaotic when Mr. Kai and Mr. Oh ask for me at the same time. I never complain because this is what an ­all-around-girl meant.

When I get to the dining area, my brother is sitting on his chair having coffee and I make my way to the fridge to get my yogurt and a banana, “Morning oppa,” I say, passing by him.

“You’re awake already?” He asks nonplussed. I turn to him and he has that look on his face that screams ‘what the ’ and I ignore him. My brother’s been pissed for the last two weeks because I haven’t been going home for dinner. I keep telling him I’ve got work to do and he leaves me alone. I open my yogurt and feel my brother’s glare at me.

“Your eyes are going to fall off, oppa,” I scold him and he scoffs.

“Haerin, you’re not going to work.” He tells me sternly.

“I can’t. We have a general meeting today. I can’t miss that,”

“Have you seen yourself lately? Those bags are healthier than you. You haven’t been eating dinner at home, who knows if you’ve actually been eating dinner for the past days and you always hurry yourself to go to work you don’t get to eat a proper breakfast,”

“Oppa. I’ve been eating okay.” Technically, bread is food. I sigh and he just shakes his head.

“And who are you trying to fool? Haerin, you’re not going to work today,”

“Can we just please not do this right now? Save the because I’ve been getting that a lot from the office already, everyday for the last two weeks. I’m tired as and not to mention I have this pounding headache but having this is never a valid reason to miss work,” I say, wanting to cry for sleep, for proper meals, for a break.

“Do you have to be dying to miss work? Is that what you’re saying?” He doesn’t sound worried anymore. He sounds angry.

I hear a honk outside and that’s my cue. It’s the carpool. I sigh and lower my head, “Sorry. I just can’t do this right now, oppa,” I say and grab my stuff.

The journey to the office has been quite off. It feels like I just want to punch someone in the face and at the same time cry because I just really want some sleep. The last time I felt like this was when I had to do a short film for my finals and not everyone in the group has been cooperating well. I ended up doing all the work and them taking most of the credits. Yay.

“Ms. Kim,” The driver calls for my attention and he’s looking at me like I’m a lost girl of some sort. I look out the window and notice that we’re already across the building, “You know, Mr. Oh won’t mind if you skip for a rest, Ms. Kim,” He tells me and I just smile politely at him and thank him for the ride before I get off.

The line is very long at reception and fortunately for me, I already collected my access card from Mr. Kai. I look at my watch and it’s already 8:30. . I hurry my way up to the 40th floor and curse when everyone’s been literally getting off every five floors. I get into the office at 8:45 and run to my desk. Papers are scattered. Yes, the foursome has done it again. I pick up the papers and scan them before throwing them in the trash bin.

I print out the documents needed for today’s general meeting and then photocopy them for the rest of the attendees. The bosses will be there and so are the assigned people they have for the project. I grab the written down lyric that Mr. Park handed to me. He asked me to review the chord progression because apparently, Mr. Byun has a bad ear for guitars. I change the C chords to G and keep the paper. Mr. Joonmyeon asked me a huge favor yesterday to print out the list of sponsors for the company’s upcoming event. Not sure what it is, though. Nothing is mentioned in Mr. Oh’s planner.

My body feels heavy as I stand up to get more paper for the photocopying machine. This terrible headache needs to back off or else I might have a go at someone today. I’m a very terrible person when I’m in lack of sleep and rest. I request for the conference room so I can prepare everything for everyone before the meeting starts. My phone vibrates and a reminder pops up. Give Mr. Oh a morning call. I sigh and walk inside the conference room with the files piled up on my hand. I speed dial Mr. Oh and his phone rings for a while. Looking at the wall clock inside the conference room, it’s 9:20.

I hear him pick up, “Good morning, Mr. Oh,”

I immediately regret the lack of energy in my voice. I drop the files on the desk, making a sound as I sigh and hold my head for a while. I only hear Mr. Oh breathing, not saying a thing, “God, I hope you’re not asleep.” I whisper and massage my temples. . Did I just really say that? Did he hear that? Haerin, get your together! I reprimand myself and straighten my body.

I clear my throat and decide to go through his schedule with him like I always do every single time I give him a morning call, “You have a general meeting today with the department heads with the events and art department managers at 10am. Also, the Yellowstone company e-mailed you about their TVC request, would you like me to print it our for you?” I ask.

Once the pile of folders are already at the center of the desk, I decide to go back to my area. When I turn, Mr. Oh is already standing by the door, giving me a look. I feel my face heat up and his stare doesn’t leave me. I mutter a good morning and excuse myself but got no response from him.

“Office. Now.” He commands. I follow behind him. He enters his office swiftly like he always does while I make a stop at my desk to get his planner and my notes of a billion reminders he need to be reminded of. When I reach for the notebook under a stack of paper I’ve piled falls off the floor.

“Seriously,” I groan and sink to the floor as I start to pick up the documents.

“And I take it that you are having a bad day,” I hear someone say. I look up and see Mr. Byun standing next to Mr. Kai with a surprised look on his face. He stoops down and holds my face, “You’re hot.” He says.

“Wow, talk about straight-forwardness Jongin,” Mr. Byun teases as Mr. Kai looks up and glares t him. Mr. Byun leaves us alone and I move timidly away from Mr. Kai as I continue to pick up the paper from the floor.

“I’m alright, sir,” I tell him with a wry smile as I stand up. He stands up as well and stares at me, “Excuse me but Mr. Oh needs me, sir,” Before I could even walk out, Mr. Kai takes my hand.

“A sick person takes a rest,” He tells me and I just give him a bow.

I appreciate his concern. Really. But the moment I start showing Mr. Oh that I can’t handle this would only mean he’s right about what he has said about me and I’m wrong about what I told him I am. I cannot give him that. I can handle this. I’m worthy to be here. Mr. Oh picked me. And given the fact that my boss doesn’t like a lot of people, this is a chance for me to show him that he made the right decision about picking me.

“I would really appreciate it if you leave my secretary alone, Mr. Kai,” Mr. Oh is suddenly standing by his door. I shift my gaze from him and to Mr. Kai who only gave Mr. Oh a look. He walks away and I look at Mr. Oh whose eyes are pierced right at me, “Inside. Now.”

I hate it when he commands me with two words. It keeps making me feel like a dog. Heck, even dog owners talk to their dogs like they’re talking to a person.

“Sit.” He points at the couch.

“I’m not a dog,” I tell him but follow him anyway. Mr. Oh sighs and sits across me. I flip open my notebook, which has a list of reminders for him, “Should I go over first with client feedback or your agenda for today, sir?”

“Are you sick?” He asks and I shake my head.

“Yellowstone said they want something classic for their commercial; something that ‘lifts the spirit’ and ‘gives motivation’. They also—” Mr. Oh stands up and I look at him. His eyes are on me and I gulp as he makes his way towards where I’m seated. He sits next to me and put a hand on my forehead. He frowns at me and I clear my throat, “Sir—”

“You’re sick.” He cuts me off curtly, still frowning, “Are you stupid? Why would you go to work when you’re burning?” He’s annoyed. I suddenly feel small and hearing him ask me this makes me feel tier. It’s because I don’t want to disappoint you, okay. You told me not to! I scream inside my aching head.

We turn to the door when we both hear a faint knock. Mr. Joonmyeon opens the glass door and is nonplussed to see us. He shifts his gaze from me towards Mr. Oh, “Meeting is about to start.”

“Yeah, we’ll be there.” Mr. Oh tells him and Mr. Joonmyeon nods as he closes the glass door. Mr. Oh immediately looks at his watch and then eye at me. He holds my cheek and I flush upon his action. He clicks his tongue, annoyed, “Seriously.” He says, exasperated.

He stands up and I follow after him. Mr. Oh walks out of the office and we head to the conference where all the bosses are and so are the people they assigned to attend the meeting. It starts and presentations are happening. I sit behind Mr. Oh as I gradually take note. My head is pounding and I try not to cough. The thing about meetings is the fact that it can last for as long as it could until they all get along. Opinions and suggestions are thrown on the table, attacked, hindered or agreed upon. My notes are messy. Mr. Kai and Mr. Oh keeps throwing opposite ideas, even the bosses are confused.

“We should film overseas,” Mr. Oh states.

“No. That’ll be too expensive on our part. We should just film it at Jeju Island,” Mr. Kai says.

“It’s too overrated there,”

“Sehun’s right,” Mr. Joonmyeon speaks up and I feel fuzzy on my stomach