“Sehun.” Catherine is not the person I exactly want to see right now. As much as I want to escape her, there’s not much I can do. And frankly speaking, I’m feeling too tired to think of any reason to stay away. Haerin’s not here to save me.

“What?” I ask as I browse through the magazine, trying so hard not to think about Haerin and how she’s with Jongin and how he’s probably holding her like how I had.

“I heard Haerin’s out with Jongin,”

I shift on my spot and try not to release an exasperated sigh, “And?”

“I came here to check if you’re okay and all,”

“Are you satisfied with what you see? I’m not dying. You can leave now.”

Of course she doesn’t leave. Instead, she takes the space next to me and I can see her look at me through my peripheral. I continue to flip through the magazine, trying to at least give the pictures some attention but I’m still preoccupied by thoughts of what the two could be doing as of this very moment. Catherine’s presence isn’t helping, too. In fact, her presence is making me think things. It makes me paranoid.

“Will you stop pushing me away? I’m still your friend, Sehun.” She says and I finally close the material and arch a brow at her. She lets out a breath and reaches out to put her hand over mine, “I know you’re not okay at all with Haerin being with Jongin.”

“Can you just go, please?” I say as I remove her hand away from mine.

“You’re just grumpy because you and Jongin are fighting over the same girl like you did before,” She states so nonchalantly and I immediately glare at her. She catches my deadly stare and she rolls her eyes, “What, I’m right aren’t I?” She asks proudly and I scoff.

“Don’t even mirror this situation with whatever that happened in Vancouver. She won’t sleep with Jongin for such pathetic reason like you did,” I tell her and she gapes at me as her eyes glares at me.

“I know you hate me but did you really have to go that far, huh Sehun?” She asks.

I shake my head and scoff, “I don’t hate you. I hate what you did. It’s not you I can’t forgive; it’s what you’ve done, which makes it harder for me,” I tell her and she gives me a look as her eyes are starting to pool with tears, “Catherine, a person can change but they still did what they did,” I stand up and leave my own hotel room just to escape her once again all because what happened in the past is starting to haunt me again.

Jongin and I were the best of friends since we were kids. His father worked with my dad and our families have been long-time friends from way back when. But things changed after my parents’ divorce. I wanted to get them back together because I had so much hope a few romantic dinner dates can still let them work it out. My mother had moved out and my dad was usually out by the time I was in high school and it was getting harder and harder to let them meet. They won’t even come together to school events when parents are needed. I asked for Jongin’s dad to help me only to find out that he’s been seeing my mother and has been cheating with his wife. I hated the Kim’s since then. I could never look at them the same. I could never consider them my second family again. But I was still Jongin’s best friend. I knew he deserved to know that the man he looks up to, who comes home every night in their house to kiss his wife and hug his kids is not exactly being true to them, so I told him about his dad and my mom. We both went to catch them together, have Jongin’s mother know of his husband’s affair and it led to their divorce. Both Jongin and I have decided to deal with it the way we want. I studied abroad and he attended a local university in Korea while training in Two Moons as my dad has plans for Jongin and I to take over the company as soon as we get our degrees.

He needed to do a project in Vancouver so he went there to see me, too, and a little over that time Catherine and I officially started dating. We took him out and toured him around. I had stuff to do in campus and so I left Jongin in Catherine’s care. I trusted them. I didn’t have issues with Jongin. I know he knows his limits. But I thought wrong. It turns out they slept together one night in a party in Catherine’s flat that I wasn’t around for to attend because I was busy with finals and I eventually figured it out the next morning when I came over to bring pizza. Yes, there they were in her bed, .

I stood there as the pain comes rolling back like a huge ball of heartaches. It was like seeing his dad and my mother again. So I ended my relationship with Catherine immediately and cut ties with Jongin using my fist. Since then I can’t look at Jongin and not see all the cheating and the lying on his face. His father stole my mother and apparently, the stealing runs in the blood.

There are days I want to give myself a chance to forgive, but then I would only be lying to myself. It’s not easy to forgive the people who abandoned you, the people who were too selfish to not even consider your feelings. And because I felt like no one ever bothers to think of how I’d feel about their next move, I just stopped myself from feeling. That way, considered or not, I won’t hurt.

But Haerin came in the picture. And now things have changed once again because I’m trying to fight the feeling. I know this will only put us to bad places. My career will be jeopardized and so will her dreams. And seeing how she talked about her plans and dreams, there’s no way I’m letting anything destroy them. Even if it means not being able to hold her close or kiss her again or even have the chance to tell her how I feel. I’m willing to keep it to myself how hard it may be.

I’m pacing back and forth and I have this lump on my throat. The uneasiness is unnerving and I wonder what Jongin and Haerin are doing as of now. They couldn’t have gone intimate, right? I mean, Haerin isn’t that kind of girl. I know she’s too far to even fall for Jongin and his gentle side. The thought makes me want to hurl and wish I had a remote to replay the events of t