“Happy birthday to you…
            Happy birthday to you…
Happy birthday dear Yongbae hyungggggg…
            Happy birthday to youuuuuuuuuuuuu…”
 
 
The birthday song echoed in the studio once Yongbae and Jiyong step in. Wide smile glued on Yongbae’s face. Each member give him a hug, until Top, the childish one, place a kiss on Yongbae’s cheek while throwing mischievous smile to Jiyong. Yongbae laughing while looking toward Jiyong, who forcedly smiling and biting his lips at the end. “Yahhh…hyung, be careful where you lean the kiss on.” said Daesung while pulling Top’s shirt. “What?! Even Yongbae give a permission.” said Top while laughing. “Let me kiss you too hyung.” said Seungri, stepping closer. Jiyong quickly blocking in front of Yongbae and facing Seungri with sharp glares “You wanna die?”.All members crack up once they heard the threaten words coming from Jiyong. Seungri step back to his place, a little bit shocked but still grinning widely. Yongbae caressing his lover’s shoulder from behind to calm him down. They enjoying the cake which they had prepared for Yongbae before they start their work.
 
“What do you plan for today? Want to celebrate at the club?” Seungri suggest. “We are still not planning anything yet since we have to focus on this one first. But I don’t really care as long as Jiyong is here with me.” said Yongbae while looking at Jiyong. “So, as a leader, I command you all to finish this early, so that I can hang out with my Bae….ALONE” said Jiyong glancing to Seungri and stress out the word ‘alone’ while pointing his finger to all members. “Aisshhh…there you go again.” said Seungri can’t stand of seeing the loving couple in front of him. “Ai..ai captain,” said Top while placing annoying smirk on his face.
 
*************************************
 
“Seems  like we finished it later than we thought.” said Top. “It’s ok, at least it has been completed successfully..” said Yongbae being positive as usual. “Yongbae, how about we going to meat restaurant?” Invite Top. “That seems a good idea. It’s been a while we didn’t hang out together.” said Yongbae. “But Bae ahhh…I thought you want to spend time with me alone.” whining Jiyong. “Aishhh…Jiyong hyung, don’t be too possessive over Yongbae hyung. I can’t stand it anymore.” said Seungri. “What? Isn’t it what the normal couple always do? Spend time together on the special day?” answered Jiyong with pouting lips. “The problem is, both of you already spend time together not only on special day but every day.” said Top.“It’s ok Jiyong ah, we are always together indeed. It’s nothing wrong to spend it with friends also.” said Yongbae. “Why? Are you feels bored just having me around?” ask Jiyong with a little disappointment. “Aishh..don’t say like that. It’s not what I mean.” Yongbae seems speechless, don’t know how to express a word without hurting Jiyong’s feeling. “It’s ok hyung, maybe Jiyong hyung is tired already. We can hang out next time.” said Daesung, who were just sat silently while watching all the scene before. “Ok..ok..because this is Yongbae’s day, I will follow whatever he want. So, let’s go.” said Jiyong, lighting up his mood, wrapping his arm around Yongbae’s shoulder. “That’s a good boy..” said Yongbae and linking his arm on Jiyong’s waist. “Haiihhh….these two…” Top shook his head, walking  to the door and the rest follow him from behind.
 
“You must be suffering enough living with this person..aren’t you Yongbae?” ask Top while they waiting for their food.
“Yaaahh hyung…isn’t it too much?” ask Jiyong,
“hahaha…sometimes hyung, sometimes..” Yongbae giggles.
“Yaaaa…Yongbae ah…” Jiyong hit Yongbae’s arm but Yongbae can’t help himself from laughing. He just love to see Jiyong’s reaction when he .
“I really don’t even think that Jiyong hyung will be like this.” Daesung grinning while showing his small eyes.
“Huh…I had enough with him before. He can be so annoying creature sometimes.” said Seungri.
“Yah..yah..what is this all about? Am I  that bad? Why all of you like this?” Jiyong sinking beside Yongbae, feeling bummed out.
“I’m used to it. Despite of the bad, I’m really grateful for his accompany. For me he just  perfect.” Yongbae interlocking his arm around Jiyong’s shoulder and pull it in his embrace. He doesn’t want to ruin his lover’s mood. Jiyong look toward him, smiling atlast.
 
 
By the time they reached their apartment, it’s already past 3 am. They directly heading to the bedroom. Jiyong fling off his shirt and jump to the bed. His tiredness had win all over his body. “Ji, let’s clean ourselves first. We were in the studio since morning and we are just return from meat restaurant. Let’s get rid of this smell first.” Yongbae try to wake up his lover who are already comfortable laying on the bed. “My eyes are too heavy to open..” murmured Jiyong. “Please Ji,…you have to.” “Ok…ok..you go first. Wake me up when you’re done.” Yongbae leave Jiyong and enter the bathroom to take a shower. Yongbae as usual, really can’t withstand those unpleasant smell from the mixing scent of liquor and burning charcoal from the meat restaurant, which had been blended with the taste of cigarettes. Their cloth and body already absorb those smell makes Yongbae feels disgust, even though he really love to eat that kind of food. Moreover, it has become a habit to freshen up before he lays on the bed because it can help him to have a good sleep. Yongbae are too immersed by the warm water flowing over his body, to acknowledge Jiyong who are sneaking quietly behind him. Jiyong force his body to get up and enter the bedroom before he completely in a deep sleep. He knows Yongbae cannot tolerate when it come to hygiene. His sleepy eyes open widely once he step in the bathroom, his gaze directly focus on wet Yongbae  and made him hold his breath in awe. He also not sure, either he is not fully awake or he is already dreaming that make he sees Yongbae look so beautiful with the perfect figure as a man. Nothing unusual seeing Yongbae but now he can’t hold his hand from touching Yongbae’s body gently from behind. Yongbae startled when he feels something crawling on his body and turn his body with sudden just to find out that Jiyong is behind him. “Oh my..you startled me. When did you coming in here?” said Yongbae with surprise. “Just stay still, let me help you  to clean your body.” said Jiyong. “I’m already finish. Just need to rinse it a little bit.” said Yongbae and turn back to face the shower. Jiyong’s fingers dancing on Yongbae’s back, caressing those skin with the balance of the soap that still lingering on Yongbae’s body. He close his eyes and exploring every corner of the muscle which his hand can reach. He close the gap, wrapping Yongbae’s body from behind until his nose and his lips can feel the touch of the skin while his hand busily caressing Yongbae’s chest without even knowing that Yongbae just stay still waiting for his next move. “Whoooppp…I think this hand move uncontrollably.” said Yongbae while turn around when Jiyong starting to reach his lower body. He hold Jiyong’s both hand and deeply gazing Jiyong. “What do you plan to do, Ji?” Youngbae asked with a deep voice, enough for Jiyong to hear. He could sense the intense gaze from Jiyong  and Yongbae can feel Jiyong breathing more faster  than usual. Jiyong bits his lips still hesitate to answer. He slowly lean a kiss on Yongbae’s wet lips and begin to deepen in. Yongbae release those hand and slowly caressing Jiyong’s hair and slowly bring his touch to Jiyong waist. He can feels something hard has poke him on his beneath, but he just focusing on the kiss. The moan escape from Jiyong sounds more sensual than before. He can feels the heat rushing down to his and he believe Jiyong feels the same when he notice that Jiyong already grab and slowly make a movement with his hand. Yongbae enjoying the pleasure with Jiyong’s touch. “Can I have it right now?” asked Jiyong with the most y voice he could make. Yongbae almost fall for the new excitement that he never thought he will until his little conscious make him step back and leave Jiyong in startled. “What’s wrong, Bae?” Jiyong look at him confused. “No…um…I’m sorry….I..I..” Yongbae trembling so hard. He quickly reach his towel and rushing out from that room. “Bae ah….” Jiyong stand on his spot just to see the bathroom door has been closed by Yongbae.. He doesn’t know what he should do in this situation. Despite being startled, he also feels hurt of being rejected. Jiyong let his body drenched by the water while his tears start to reunite with the warm water. That night he cries his lungs out.
 
 
“I’m sorry Ji. I’m sorry…” Yongbae leaning toward bathroom door which had been shut off. His heart pounding so fast and make him hard to breath. He doesn’t know why he has to run and leave Jiyong startled like that. All this while he too, having a fantasy about him and Jiyong doing it together. When they shared a kiss before, he always having a feeling to get more than just a kiss. The way Jiyong touch, the way Jiyong flirt make him forget that Jiyong is actually a guy. But tonight, the chance  to make all the fantasies become real is just in front of his eyes, but he waste it.  As he desperate to make love with Jiyong, he also struggle himself to avoid those temptation because he afraid it will affect their long lasting friendship that they had before. For Yongbae, its require a lot of commitment and so does the sacrifice.  When Jiyong start caressing just now, he really want to let it  happen. He really want to taste the sensation but suddenly some fear had given back his consciousness.
 
Jiyong coming out from the bathroom without saying anything after being in there almost an hour. Yongbae just watching and waiting for him to lie on the bed. He knows that Jiyong had cried a lot by looking at his swollen eyes. After finish dress up, Jiyong lie down  on the side of the bed and his back facing Yongbae.
“Ji…” Yongbae close the gap and hugging Jiyong from behind. He lean down a kiss on Jiyong’s neck while secure his arm around Jiyong’s slim waist. “I’m really sorry…from the bottom of my heart, I’m really really sorry. I don’t mean to…” before Yongbae manage to explain, he has been cut off by Jiyong. “I’m tired. I wanna sleep.” said Jiyong without turning his face to Yongbae. He grab the pillow and cover his face. Yongbae can’t deny the guilty feeling which had lingering in his heart. He knows that Jiyong feels hurtful because of his rejection. His arm still holding on Jiyong. His lips keep repeating the word sorry even though Jiyong doesn’t seems to react and because of the tiredness both of them had fall to sleep.
 
They wake up pretty late on the next day. However, Yongbae being the first one to awake as usual.  Once he open his eyes, his sight caught up with Jiyong face, which seems very calm while he sleeping. Yongbae slowly caressing Jiyong’s face, from his hair down to his cheek, then to his jawline, direct to his beautiful lips and stop by holding his chin. Yongbae move forward to steal a morning kiss even though Jiyong is still in a deep sleep.  All the things that happended last night come to his mind. “I’m sorry Ji. I had let you down. It shouldn’t supposed to end like that. You must be hurt enough. I’m so sorry sweetheart, but I love you so much.” Yongbae place another kiss on Jiyong forehead before he carefully step down from the bed and heading to the bathroom. Memory from last night poke his mind once he enter the shower. He still remember Jiyong’s touch on his bare skin. The moan that release between his lips, the tingles feeling from the …he remember it all. By remembering those is enough to make his body shivers and he slowly feels contrite about his action last night.
 
Jiyong walk to the kitchen with silent. He doesn’t notice that Yongbae sitting in the living room, staring at him. The dining table already served with heavy breakfast. He sit there alone and drink a full cup of milk without touching what had been served. “Please, eat something Ji. I’ve prepared it for you.” Yongbae’s voice make him startled and turn his head looking to the owner of the voice, who are now walking closer to him. “It’s ok. I’m not hungry.”said Jiyong while stand up planning to leave that table. Yongbae grab Jiyong’s arm before he pass by him.
 
“Ji, I think we need to talk.”
“There is nothing need to be said.”
“I don’t want to see you like this.”
“So, don’t look!”
“Ji…”
“I have nothing to say to you, Bae.”
“So, listen!”
 
Jiyong shoot a sharp glares to Yongbae, feels annoyed but can’t protest. The soft gaze which Yongbae give him make his heart flutter. Yongbae hold Jiyong’s hand and pull him to the living room.  He guided the slander guy to sit on the sofa and he kneeling on the floor  to face him in eye level. “Ji, I’m really sorry about last night. I know you’ve been hurt. It doesn’t mean that I don’t like it. It feels so good but suddenly I feels scared.” Yongbae drop his sight, feeling so weak in front of Jiyong’s gaze. The atmosphere covers with silent for couple of minutes. Neither of them is talking until Jiyong bracing up. “I thought you want it, that is why I….” Jiyong let the words hanging in his heart. Rather than disappointed he is more ashamed of what had happened between them. “Yesterday, when you teased me on that bed, I thought you didn’t do it because of me.  I know you are not the person who will start it first. All this while, I am afraid to act that way because I thought you didn’t want it. Me too, feels worry if I make the first move, you will distance yourself from me. But after that teased and the words that you said before we left the house, I see some hope to go further. That is why I pull out the courage to make  the first move…..but I think my hope is too high.” Jiyong release a heavy sigh. Yongbae pull Jiyong for a hug. “I really did felt the same way. But I can’t do it. I love you Ji, but I don’t think we can cross the line that far. I treasured our friendship so much and it worries me even more if it will affect our friendship later.” Said Yongbae while his arm still lingering on Jiyong’s body. “Yeah..maybe you have point there. We can’t cross that border. Last night, after you ran out I keep thingking about it. We have been friend for a long time and we never had a serious fight within those years, because we have a friendship trust and we never hope anything but we can understand each other so well. So we have less argument. But now, I think there are a lot of time we argue with each other. We keep hurting and being hurt. We demanding so much now and once it failed we become frustrated. Hope become dissapointment and wish turns into despair."Jiyong shut his eyes close, holding his tears from falling. "Why it sounded like you regreting it again?" yongbae tighten his hug, fear of losing race up. "I'm not regreting about us, Bae. But I think before everything become more complicated between us, we have to contain this feeling." Jiyong pull back the hug and locking his gaze on Yongbae.

"Lets not fall in love, Bae." 
"Are you breaking up with me?" 
"No...I'm just trying to save our friendship." 
"Is it because I didn't make up with you last night?"
"Not really, but last night really made me realized something. Maybe it's better like that. Our desires develop each day but we can't do nothing about it."
"So, you choose to leave me?"