~Sope welcoming us all back ~

Happy 2021, let's hope it's a good one! I was finally able to finish this chapter. I've been slowly going over the old chapters as well, since there are some things I'd like to change. Nothing major, but small things here and there. So until I've caught up with fixing those I'm assuming that updates will be slower than they normally would. I'll be really happy if I can update once a month really. Anyway, 4 years of waiting, I hope you enjoy this chapter. It's an important one, and I hope some of you get your answers. Happy reading!

Hoseok POV 

' I just can't phantom that it's been a year since I lost her. It feels like a life time ago, yet like it was yesterday at the same time.' The guys sitting across from Hoseok said teary eyed. 

Something about the way the guys expressions didn’t match the words made Hoseok feel somewhat uncomfortable. Hoseok had never been able to say a lot under the few meeting he had attended so far. He had expected the meetings to be focused around being without a soulmate, as in never had one. But most of the people here had lost theirs, or at least wanted him to believe that was true. Some people in his group just didn't sit right with him. It felt more like they had perfected a speech or lines from a script, than speaking from their heart. 

He looked around the room, the 9 of them sat in a circle in the middle of the room. Out of the 8, only 3 of them didn't give him the unsettling feeling like this was just some kind of act. The thought that more people like him was in the room had crossed his mind. Before his first meeting he had been given papers he could use as building blocks for making up the relationship between him and his "dead" soulmate. The whole part of hiding the truth about why some of them were there just felt so wrong, but the others didn’t seem to mind. Everyone seemed to either be sincere, or just play right into whatever the counseling office were doing. 

Hoseok let his gaze wander slowly over everyone's face. None of them looked like they were annoyed about the situation like Hoseok felt. Most of the time he spent in these meetings Hoseok got lost in his thoughts. Only being brought back when it was his turn, or one of other 3 sincere sounding people in the group. 

' Thank you, Soyeon. I think we all need a little break. Let's take 10 minutes.' Their group counselor said after they'd just finished catching up with everyone since last session.  

Hoseok stood up and stretched lightly before he made his way towards the coffee machine.  

' You should make it a double, you look like you're two seconds away from falling asleep.' A light yet sharp voice said, approaching from behind. 

' You're not wrong. Milk and no sugar, here you go.' Hoseok handed one cup of coffee to the girl coming up next to him.  

She had shoulder length dark hair and short bangs resting against her forehead. A bold cat eye made her look intimidating at first glance, but Soyeon had been nothing but kind to Hoseok.  

' Need some fresh air?' She asked already walking towards the door. 

Hoseok followed suit, out of the room and out the front doors of the counseling office. They sat down on one of the benches. Soyeon pulled out her pack of Marlboro and lit a cigarette.  

' Do they ever get better? The meetings? Like, is there a point where we do something worthwhile? ' Hoseok asked warming his hands on his coffee cup. 

' Nah..' A long exhale of smoke escaped her lips.  

' Then why are we even here? This feels like a waste of time. It feels fake, all of it.' Hoseok said between gritted teeth.  

' Cause they don't want any of us to do anything rash? Aren't we all just here so they can monitor our mental state?' Soyeon looked at him in her side view. ' What would you want us to do in these meetings?'  

' Euhm, I don't know. Anything real? Where those that are lying actually tell the truth for once. Where we actually ask the questions that are bothering us?' Hoseok said tired.  

' Would that change anything? Do you think knowing the answers would make a difference?' Soyeon turned and looked him straight in the eye. 

' Sure it would. There's too much lying here.. So there must be something worth knowing that we don’t.' He replied seriously.  

' Hmm..' Soyeon stood up, threw away her cigarette and walked back towards the meeting room. Hoseok looked after her ' Okay, then?' He shook his head, got up and followed her back inside. 

Unfortunately the coffee didn’t magically make the last half of the meeting go any faster. The minutes stretched on for what felt like forever. He was curious though, ever since they got back Soyeon had been occupied by her phone. Not typical for her. Luckily for himself however was that his own phone vibrated, and he was distracted for a few minutes. Yoongi texted Hoseok and wanted to hang out after the meeting was over. 

The meeting came to a close, and Hoseok's phone vibrated. Probably from Yoongi. Hoseok checked his phone, surprised to see Soyeon's name on the display. He looked up just as she was on her way past him. She grabbed him by the shoulder and quickly leaned in.  

' If you really want to know. Ask for Areum' Soyeon whispered in a serious tone. And then she was out the door. Hoseok stood there staring at her back leaving the building. He looked down on his phone and saw that the message from Soyeon contained an address. Nothing more, nothing less. 'Curious' 

' Evening, Hobi ' Yoongi had been waiting outside the main entrance. 

' Wow, Yoongi you look horrible. Are you sleeping?' Hoseok said concerned.  

Yoongi looked paler than usual. His eyes looked tired and more red then they should. The bags underneath his eyes visible.  

' Ah-a, it's nothing.' His gaze wandering. ' Where should we go? Want to hang out at the studio?' Yoongi quickly added. 

'Hmm, sure. Let's grab a bite on the way though, I'm starving' Hoseok grabbed Yoongi by the arm and they walked towards the studio. The three of them; Namjoon, Yoongi and Hoseok rented a tiny recording studio in town. Nothing fancy, but it got the job done. Plus, it was nice to have a space to create together and hang out.  

They bought some take away on the way to the studio. While they ate they talked about stuff that had happened since last they saw each other. Hoseok told about dance practice, and Yoongi talked about new song ideas he was working on.  

Hoseok sat the last empty container down on the table. 

' Ahh! That was delicious' He patted his tummy with a big satisfied grin on his face. 

He looked over at Yoongi, sitting there looking slightly uncomfortable. His hands on his lap fidgeting. Yoongi slowly lifted his gaze and looked at Hoseok with a hint of sadness in his eyes. His mouth slightly opening before closing again, like he wanted to say something but couldn't. 

' Are you sure you're okay Yoongi?' Hoseok asked worried.  

Yoongi took a visible deep breath. Moments passed. Hoseok was about to ask again when Yoongi finally spoke. 

' Do you ever feel like there is more to soulmates than we're taught?' He said slowly, picking his words carefully.  

Hoseok felt his eyes widen. Was someone finally seeing what he'd been seeing for years? ' Should I tell him the truth?' But there was so much to explain, and Yoongi already looked like he had enough to worry about. He really didn't feel like burdening Yoongi with his problems right now. One day he would tell everyone the truth, but first he needed answers. He needed to understand what had really happened to himself first.  

Hoseok could tell that the silence made Yoongi feel awkward.  

' Totally!' Hoseok quickly answered. A look of relief made it onto Yoongi's face. ' I definitely think there is things we don't know' 

' Do you think there's a place we could go to potentially learn more?' Yoongi asked uncertain. 

' If you really want to know ' Soyeon's words echoed in Hoseok's mind. He quickly got his phone, found the message from Soyeon and showed it to Yoongi.  

' We go to this address!' He said excitedly. 

' What's there? What's that address?' Yoongi sounded intrigued.  

' Answers'  

Hoseok and Yoongi made their way down the street keeping an eye out for the right address. After a few minutes they both stood in front of a partially glass and beige door. "Soul therapy" was written in golden letters on the glass. They looked at each other before Hoseok pushed the door open. The doorbell announced their arrival, and from behind the front desk a smiling face emerged. 

' Hello, and welcome. What can I do for you?' The smiling lady asked. 

' Excuse us. I'm sorry, but a friend gave me this address. I'm looking for Areum?' Hoseok said. 

' Ah! That's me. You must be Hoseok. Come in, come in'  

She led them to the back, inside a small room. The room was furnished with a sofa and two chairs in the middle of the room. The walls was painted a warm brown color, decorated with all kinds of pressed flowers,  pinned insects and framed scientific blueprints. The light was comfortably dimmed, giving the room a relaxing feeling.  

' Please make yourselves comfortable. Can I get you guys anything? Water? Tea?' She asked as she gestured them towards the sofa. 

'I'm good, thanks' Hoseok replied as he sat down in the dark leather couch. Yoongi shook his head and sat down next to Hoseok. 

' I heard you wanted answers.' She sat down in a chair facing them, and smiled. ' Well, shoot. Ask me anything' 

Hoseok looked at Yoongi a bit taken aback. 'Where did he begin?' 

'Uhm, well I guess my first question is..' He took a deep breath before he continued. ' Is it true that some people don't have soulmates at all?' He could see the surprised expression on Yoongi's face in his peripheral. 

' Wow, wasting no time I see. Well, that's a controversial one. Scientist say; no, everyone has a soulmate mark. Some explain it as a layer we all have. Think of it like an invisible extra layer of skin. For the big majority that layer is shown to the world when you get your mark at 19. What some scientists argue is that those that "are without a soulmate" just have that layer hidden. And that with today's technology we don’t have a way to bring forth that layer. Then on the other hand you have the Corp, which is pretty steadfast in the fact that if we can't see it means it doesn't exists.' She shrugged. ' So, I guess it depends who you believe'  

' If it can't be seen, then how can scientists be so sure?' Yoongi asked confused. 

' Skin samples. For some reason our skin structure is changed when we turn 19. Scientists have proof that the change is the same for those who have soulmate marks, and those who can't show theirs. Which leads them to believe that the marks are there, just not for us to see yet. People are working on developing the tools and technology to do so as we speak, but it's a slow process unfortunately.'  

Hoseok didn’t really know how he felt about what he had just learned. What if he actually had someone's name written on his body, just no one could see it? The thought made him ease a little. Then again if he didn’t see it, he couldn’t really do anything about it.  

' So what the Soulmate Corps deal?' He asked, his disgust obvious. 

' They govern everything soulmate related. But you knew that already' she looked at Hoseok with sympathy before she continued. ' Well, first thing first. I don’t know if your textbooks or google searched mentioned, but there was a time when soulmates wasn't a thing. 100 years ago? Nope, no one knew about soulmate marks at all. It's only in the last century for some reason that the phenomenon we now call soulmates came to be.  

It's speculated that it might be a human mechanism to get us connected again. You see, around 100 years ago humans grew more and more isolated. The birth numbers were plummeting. People didn't really interact with each other anymore. They didn’t make efforts to meet potential partners or friends. The future of the human race looked rather grim. Then, voilà, came the soulmate marks. It didn’t take long for the effects of these strange marks to be noticed, humans are curious after all. Some people quickly saw the potential the mark had on society as a whole and started an organization. The Soulmate Corp' Areum paused for a second before she continued. 

' The Soulmate Corp advertised the mark; " Soulmates: Life's purest and most wonderful connection".  What the Soulmate Corp promised obviously intrigued people. It didn't take more than a couple of weeks before the change in society was apparent. After only a few months they got government funded, and they continued to grow. Now they govern everything regarding soulmates.' 

' Why haven't more people caused a fuss? It's been years. I mean, loads of people must know about this. About the fact that we're just told one side of the story. Why aren't more people trying to expose the lies?' Hoseok asked frustrated. 

' In the beginning people were desperate for that connection, so people didn't really ask questions. But of course, anomalies showed up every now and then. Multiple people have tried to speak up over the years, of course. But with the majority of people having good experiences and backing the things we're told, they never get enough attention to change anything. You see, humans are rather easy to control. Money, love, success and power. It's the things most of us want and strive for in life. So promise us money and love, and we'll want to believe it. Give us one of the three, and most of us will be content and compliant. And that’s basically how the Corp have been able to keep their status until this very day. Honestly, I'd like to believe the Corp are doing thing this way in an attempt to keep things positive and happy, even if life never is only those things.'  

Hoseok fell silent, processing all this new information. Not sure how to feel about it all. 

' Euhm..' Yoongi cleared his throat. ' This might sound dumb.. But, would it be possible for someone to have m-more than one soulmate mark?' His voice barely carrying the weight of the words.  

' Most definitely' Areum sounded excited. ' Just like someone's soulmate layer is hidden, or just extra thick and might not show a name at all. Some people have extra thin ones and multiple names might come through as they age. I like to picture our soulmate layer as a starry sky. All the stars are people in our life, but the brightest most beautiful ones are the special people in our life. And that bright light shines through the layer and are visible to us. Well, most of the time. I like to think we all have multiple "soulmates" that shine on us, but we usually get to only know one of them.' Yoongi absentmindedly his left hip while he listened to Areum talk. 

The room stayed silent for a long time. Both taking it all in. Eventually Yoongi looked over at Hoseok. 

' Oh, yeah. I-I think that's all I got' Hoseok said, still heavily in his own thoughts.  

Yoongi nodded. ' Thank you so much. It's probably time we see ourselves out'  

Yoongi and Hoseok put on their jackets and were ready to leave, when one final question presented itself. 

'Oh, I have one last question actually. What do you think is the most believed lie about soulmates?' Yoongi wondered. 

'Hmm.. Let's see. I think it must be that everyone seem to believe that every soulmate connection is a romantic one. There are so many different types of connections between us humans. All of them equally as wonderful and fulfilling as a romantic one.' Areum lifted her right leg slightly, and pulled her jeans up just a tiny bit. There, on her ankle was a name written in a beautiful royal blue; 전소연 (Jeon Soyeon).  

' We initially thought we would be a couple of course, and we tried really hard to be just that, a couple. But it was never what we were meant to be. Once we relaxed and did what felt natural and comfortable for us, that's when our true connection blossomed. She is my soulmate, not a lover, but the most important person to me non the less' Areum smiled proudly and sat her foot back down.  

They stood up and both thanked Areum for her time.  

' Try to remind yourselves that life is much more than just soulmates. They're wonderful yes, but life itself is a gift, and you should both live it to the fullest.' With those last words Areum waved them goodbye.  

Yoongi and Hoseok made their way back through the streets, both deep in thought. 

' I think I get what she's saying. I really did let my soulmate, or lack off one, affect every aspect of my life. It has consumed me for a long time. I mean, even without a soulmate my life isn't really that bad. I believe I'm still pretty lucky. I have amazing people in my life, I don't have to worry about money, and I'm able to live off my passions.' Hoseok broke the silence. Not really talking to Yoongi, but more so to himself.  

' But.. Maybe I'm just really stupid. Or maybe its selfishness, or narcissism even.. But a part of me still feel like I need to experience it. Seeing my name written on someone's skin. Being important like that to someone.' Hoseok looked at Yoongi now, eyes watery. ' It sounds really stupid, doesn't it?'  

Tears started running down Hoseok's face. Yoongi grabbed Hoseok's hand and pulled him into a hug. He wrapped his hands tightly around the sobbing man.  

' Maybe.. Maybe we're really stupid' Yoongi relaxed the bind slightly, as his left arm moved to Hoseok's hair. Hoseok looked at Yoongi, his eyes also wet. 

' But I understand what you mean... So I guess that makes us both stupid' Yoongi said with a smile, the first tear trailing down his cheek. Hoseok tightened his grip around Yoongi. They stood like that for a while; crying and hugging.  

' Wow, we're ridiculous' Hoseok eventually said when they wiped their tears. ' True idiots' Yoongi added. They both chuckled, and started walking again. They walked the rest of the way in comfortable silence. 

Nothing had really changed. Hoseok still didn't know if he had a soulmate or not. If he would ever get one. He still wanted one just as bad as he did when he turned 19. But for some reason the world didn't seem so grey and heavy. He looked up at the sky. Somehow the sky felt bigger, and brighter. He felt like he could finally breath freely. ' I'm not alone'  

I have a feeling this is a make or break chapter. Like some of you might not like how "soulmates" work in this universe, and I'm trying to convince myself that's fine x'D. Thank you so much for reading! Don't be shy to leave a comment, question or/and critique below. Appreciate you all <3

- Love Tae-ken