I stayed in my room all the day and I didn’t come out neither for having lunch nor to ensure that the boys ate; I wasn’t in the mood to eat and I thought neither them. Around seven o’clock the manager called me to tell me that, the next day after the arrival of the three boys, we would have a conference where we would announce the return of the former members, they would have to apologize and we would also announce the recovery of EXO-M. I said nothing and the manager didn’t ask anything; he knew how was, more or less, the mood in the dorm in that moment.

-Joonie?- Chen called from the corridor.

-Come in.- I simply answered.

-Look… I know that the situation at the moment isn’t the best but.. I was thinking that tomorrow, at the airport, there will be certainly paparazzi and we should.. fake to be happy.-

-So?- I retorted, standing up from the floor where I was lying for hours.

-So I think we should have dinner. If we welcome them with red eyes, pale face and fatigue on the face, I don't think journalists will be lenient with us.- he said pointing to the mirror.

He was right; in this time I seemed all but happy. I smiled to him and nodded. We left my room and knocked on the doors of everyone’s room, saying them to come and have dinner. I was glad to see that Xiumin had returned and was back to being his usual, as Sehun had returned to his normal Maknae attitude.

All gathered in the kitchen, after looking at all of them one by one, I got up from the chair. - Tomorrow they will be back and, even though the idea isn’t pleasant, we have to fake that we are happy, alright? This doesn’t mean that we can’t behave how we want once the door of the dorm is closed.- I announced to them, dead serious. - In addition, we can re-arrange the rooms at our liking. So the three of them will stay in Jongdae and Yixing’s room and you two will stay, respectively, in Minseok’s room and Chanyeol and Baekhyun’s one. Any question?- No one said anything but I saw, from the looks in their eyes, that they all agree with me.

After eating, everyone went to his own room, mentally preparing for the encounter of the next day. Before falling asleep, however, I cleaned the room; I didn’t want for Kris to notice how his leaving the group and his coming back affected me.

The screams of the fans rose above the voices of the security men who were escorting us to the gate of arrival of the three boys.They made us sit in the VIP lounge, waiting for the plane to land and for the three boys to catch up with us. To say that all of us were nervous was an understatement: Xiumin and Sehun kept going back and forth across the room; Lay was resting his elbows on his knees and had the head bowed; Chen, Chanyeol and Baekhyun were trying to calm the Maknae and the older among us; D.O and Kai were sitting on the couch with an unreadable look. I was facing the window and my back was facing the door from where the three guys would have to enter and I was looking out the window. I didn’t want the three of them to see first thing my expression; it wasn’t very...pleasant. We heard some noises approaching the room.

-… so tomorrow you are already occupied with the conference.- the manager said, entering the room, followed by the three boys. Given the expressions of the other members, who were paralyzed, the manager understood he had to disappear for a while. - I leave you for a while.- he added, leaving the room.

The silence was unnerving, but I think no one was going to speak first, and I did not want to even turn around. The most “calm” among us decided to open his mouth and break that awkward moment.

-Uhm.. Hi Kris, Tao and Luhan.- I heard Chanyeol say.

-Hi Chan. How is it going?- Luhan asked.

-Tsk, well. How should it go?!- Baekhyun snapped.

The silence returned. It certainly was not the best way to start our adventure together, I found myself thinking. But still they had to get over it, if for the moment we were cold and distant; they couldn’t ask to us to hug them and to give them a warming welcome.

I prayed that none of them would speak to me but, of course, that was impossible.

-Suho..- I heard my name being pronounced from the last person I wanted to speak to me. And that just made increase my inner turmoil.

I spun around, finding Kris just a few meters from me. I saw that in his eyes there was remorse, deep remorse, but I could not let that fool me. I shouldn’t, for the group’s sake. I turn around him and saw also Tao and Luhan, that seemed to be trembling. Surely they had never seen me angry or on the verge of a nervous breakdown. I sighed.

-Welcome.. again.- I said, clenching my jaw. - Forgive us if we're a little.. suspicious but I think you understand why, right?- I asked, looking the three boys.

-Of co-co-course.- Tao stammered, trying not to get noticed.

-Good. I think it’s time to go. Oh yeah! Before I forget ..-  I resumed, this time looking at the exit door - some fans aren’t happy about the news, so don't expect some encouragement once we are out of this place.-

Before one of them could say anything, I exit the lounge followed by the others. I knew that Chanyeol was walking beside them and the others were forcing smiles. The fans were huddled around us and their voices overlapped on each other, but I managed to listen some encouragement and many insults. I felt bad for them - it was my nature to be kind and understanding - but, if I was a fan, I would not have reacted very well to their leaving and coming back after some time.

We passed through the crowd of fans unharmed, although Kris, Tao and Luhan were shaking with fear. I snorted and I approached them with a smile on my face and I pulled up next to Luhan, the one to which I was not so angry.

-Tell the other two not to behave like scaredy-cats; neither us nor the fans eat you.- I whispered, placing my arm around his shoulders.

He turned to whisper my words to the two and they both turned to stare at me, one hopeful, the other with a scrutinizing glance, as if to studying me. I pretended not to look. Finally we entered the car and, since I was the leader, the manager also ushered the three boys. Luhan and Tao sat in the seats at the bottom of the van along with Lay; before them was me, Kris and Chanyeol and in the seat next to the manager there was Chen. The manager spoke, perhaps to break the silence that was suffocating us in the van, hoping for someone to answer, but no one, not even Chanyeol that had greeted the three boys, answered.

-Now that we are alone I will tell you two things.- I announced looking the three boys. - We have changed the disposition of the rooms: you three are staying in the room Yixing and Jongdae shared. In addition, don't think we’re going to behave like “best friends on the world forever”, ok? And more importantly… don't complain.- I said without looking anyone in particular.

-Suho, doesn’t it seem a bit..- Kris started saying.

-“A bit” what, Yifan? Extreme? Evil? Well, I’m sorry but you aren’t for sure the right people to tell me that.- I retorted, almost shouting. - Especially you, Yifan.- I whispered.

Unfortunately my voice cracked and I felt a tear trying to roll down my cheek. Also Kris noticed it and tried to approach me, but I didn’t let him because I went to lock me in the room. ! I had showed to him that in fact I was weak, and that was the last thing I wanted to show to him. Especially since it was clear that I was still in love with him.

Like the day before, I refused to eat, despite various dongsaeng came knocking on my door to invite me to come out. I turned my gaze toward Eurung-ee, the doll of Kris, and I began to remember the period of “EXO Showtime”, one of the best times of our career.

A/N: I'm translating the rest so wait some time.