“Hey.”

“I think I made a mistake.”

“Let’s work this out.”

I stared at these messages baffled. I would ask myself “how dare she?” but after all these years it doesn’t surprise me. She did this all the time and I never got an exact answer. All she would say was the “she was scared.” What surprised me the most was that I wasn’t immediately replying to her telling her how much I loved and missed her like I did before. Thinking about it now I felt like a fool. Why was I the one that always waited for her, why was I the one always left broken while she continued to go clubbing and having fun, it seemed like I was the only one who cared about saving us. I stared at her pictures in a daze. I wasn’t going to lie, I did love and miss her, but this time it was different.

Knock knock

“Come in.’ I said spinning my chair towards the door.

“Hey.” I heard her soft voice say as she was walking in. She looked radiant, it left me speechless for a moment.

“You snuck out successfully again.” I smirked at her after getting a grip and coming back to reality.

“Well, yeah, but I told my members where I was going this time.” She smiled.

“Are you hungry do you want to go eat?”

“No I wasn’t busy today so I ate.”

I stared at her to make sure she wasn’t lying just so she wouldn’t have to go and risk meeting the other artists, her cheeks looked rosy and healthy so I let it go.

I was a man full of charisma and confidence when it came to my songs but for some reason I couldn’t record with her staring at me. I asked if she wanted to feature in the song and fear covered her face as she shook her head ‘no’ three times.

“It’ll be a song just for me to listen to. I won’t release it.” I had told her but she still insisted on no. I gave up and continued to organize the chorus that I wrote for her to sing. I’d have to rewrite it now that she firmly declined featuring in the song.

“My members, they’re big fans.” She told me when we were walking towards my car.

I was a bit taken aback that she was talking so comfortably but the blush never left her face, which told me she was still shy around me. It actually made me feel good that she was feeling more at ease though, I couldn’t help but feel that we were getting closer.

“Oh. Maybe I’ll send them my autograph.” I winked.

I took her home and briefly met her members. They were young and excited, totally different from their shy leader. She looked so awkward standing towards the side while her members asked me a million questions about what where doing and if I was being nice to their unnie.

“Of course he’s nice to her! Why wouldn’t he be?” Seulgi asked Yerim.

Joohyun rubbed her temples feeling the headache coming. It reminded me of how Seungri would make me do that too when he was being difficult.

“I didn’t believe unnie when she told us she was going to meet with you sunbae!” Sooyoung said.

“I just thought she was meeting with a secret boyfriend.” Wendy giggled.

“You wouldn’t have a boyfriend without telling us, right unnie?” Yerim asked pouting.

“I think it’s time for us to go inside before they embarrass me to death.” Joohyun announced. They all bowed and headed to their dorm giggling. I waved until they were all inside with a smile on my face.

This bickering reminded me of the day I went to get coffee and overheard those five girls. I made a mental note to ask Joohyun later if it was them. As I lay in bed I thought about her and reread her messages. At a different point in my life they would make me feel alive again, but now I just felt empty at her words. I realized that this time I wanted to be alone and think things through. We would be going on our U.S tour soon it’ll give me time to be away from this place and our memories, to breathe a different air. I didn’t tell Joohyun when we would meet again but after this week I didn’t have any more time until I got back.

“I’m going on tour overseas soon. We should get coffee when I get back.” – Jiyong

“Oh! Good luck! I hope you have fun and yes that sounds fine.” – Joohyun                                                                

Her enthusiasm made me laugh but made me feel better. I had a good night’s sleep that day.

“Yes! Las Vegas here I come!” Seungri said as he settled into his seat on the airplane.

“You love Las Vegas more than us, don’t you?” Seunghyun hyung .

“We don’t have clubs or girls so yes he does.” Youngbae added.

“Hyungs you’re going to love it too!” he said as he looked through his instagram.

“He didn’t even deny it, it hurts my heart hyung.” I said as I held on to Seunghyun hyung dramatically. Being with them filled the emptiness I felt. I could laugh and feel happy without being forced to.

After arriving in Vegas there wasn't much we could do. We had a few free days before the concert and everyone was hit by jetlag so most of the staff stayed in their rooms sleeping. I looked down from my hotel window wishing I could go down and walk the strip. I saw all those people, I figured no one would recognize me, but then I decided against it. I sat in the room alone and sighed. Daesung wasn’t here yet, Seungri was out, Youngbae and Seunghyun hyung were sleeping. Even if Seunghyun hyung says he’s a ghost that doesn’t sleep I’m sure his fans would love to see him now, passed out and snoring loudly. The jetlag hadn’t hit me yet, I drank some alcohol to help me relax and get sleepy but I got too drunk instead.

Beep

“That Seungri better not be posting pictures with girls already.” I said out loud. It wasn’t Seungri though and after looking at this picture I wished it would have been. She looked beautiful. I couldn’t feel bad or hurt this time since I was the one who didn’t reply to her, but drunk me was still blaming her for everything. I collapsed on my bed finally ready to sleep and forget the pain she caused me.

I woke up the next day and took Seungris’ advice to go out and explore. The Grand Canyon was amazing I felt so small and vulnerable near something this vast. I took lots of pictures and enjoyed the company of my friends. I even sent some pictures to Joohyun, I admit I was a bit disappointed when she didn’t reply quickly then I remembered the time difference. I was confused to as why it disappointed me that I didn’t get a reply from her. I guess I needed her cheerful and shy encouragements during these times that I was feeling lonely. I thought that being miles away from her would make me feel better but it was the complete opposite. I couldn’t grasp my surroundings I felt breathless and helpless thinking that she was probably already forgetting about us.

Los Angeles, Mexico City, New Jersey I left a piece of me in all of those places. I had been to them before but somehow this time I enjoyed it more.

“Whoa there were a lot of people at your concert!”

“Mexico City looks great! Is the food good?”

“Is that the statue of liberty? It looks amazing.”

I would read Joohyuns’ texts the next morning when I would wake up; I really hated the time difference I wanted to talk to her without having to wait. Walking down New York’s streets I thought about Joohyun and how odd our friendship was. I was friends with the SNSD girls but I never texted them or felt the need to talk to them unless we were at a club. I haven’t told my members about this friendship and I assumed no one else knew except Red Velvet and I. I couldn’t figure out what it was about Joohyun that made me want to talk to her. Whatever it was, it kept pulling me towards her. I guessed it was her positive energy and her enthusiasm to push forward no matter what.

The tour was long and draining. Youngbae was enjoying Toronto a lot, it might be because a certain someone was here to visit him and see him sing, I felt a bit jealous towards my best friend. Being out on stage I felt energized and ready to take on the world but when it was over everything hit me specially when I was alone in my hotel room, but I tried to spend time with my members so I wouldn’t succumb to the pain. That is until I read the article:

Kiko Mizuhara calls G-Dragon “Just a Friend”

Just. I was just another one of her friends. After all this time I didn’t even deserve the good friend label.

“We’re just good friends huh? That’s all there is?”

“Jiyong, I had to.”

“You always have to. Why are you so ashamed of me?”

“I’m not ashamed.. I’m just scared.”

“What happened to our love, what happened to those times where all we needed was each other?” I said to myself frustrated.

“Jiyong please, why can’t we just hang out and be together, why do you want to go public?”

“I remember the days, you used to love.” I replied and turned off my phone.

I pulled at my hair in frustration and drank like a mad man. At some point my phone was on again. I was going to call Kiko and yell at her when I saw a message come through.

“I hope you’re getting enough sleep, oppa.”

With a picture attached of the Red Velvet girls smiling at me. The “oppa” took me by surprise. I didn’t think we were at that point in our friendship.

“I’m so sorry sunbae, Sooyoung took my phone. I hope the messages didn’t wake you up!”

I laughed. Of course she wouldn’t call me “oppa” deliberately. Drunk and tired I fell asleep staring at the picture I had received.

Zoomed in on Joohyuns’ face.

A/N: 

I hope you guys like this chapter ^^ again no beta and I went over it but 

I probably left a few mistakes.

Thank you to everyone who has read my story I really hope you enjoy it!

Please comment your thoughts <3