I reach the very top of the jungle gym and my legs try to stand on their own despite the bad shaking. My short arms reach out for balance. This is dangerous for a child to be doing, but my body seems to be disregarding this fact. It's focused on finding something. It must be something very important. I try to tell my body to get back down, that whatever I was was looking for is not worth it. But I have no control over this body. All I can do if feel the emotions this child is experiencing and watch everything unfold, like a fate that cannot be changed or a memory of something that has already happened...

A strong ray of sunlight glare at my eyes and my small hand tries to block the blinding light so I can find what I was looking for. Moving my hand breaks my balance and I feel my foot clad in a glittery sandal slip from the jungle gym's metal bar. My hand reaches for something to hold onto, but it was too late. I was falling and nothing will stop my fall. My heart is beating at triple the rate and I scream for my life. "ZHANG YIXING- SAVE ME!"

~

"Ummeoni, tell me who Zhang Yixing is." Why does my mother know who Yixing is if she didn't see him the morning of the trip? Does she know him from somewhere else? A thousand questions fill my head fighting to be asked first. 

My mother looks taken aback and removes her hand from my shoulder. She looks afraid and I see her hesitate to come up with answer for me. She steps away from me, but I grab her wrist. " Please tell me." I plead. "I have to know or I think I will go crazy."

She takes a deep breath and let it all out before speaking. "Minah-ah, he was your friend from next door when you were little." My mom finally tells me. She avoids my eyes, like shes is scared... of how I might react?

"You're lying. Why don't I remember him then?." I say angrily. I never had friends before. I think I would remember if I ever did. I let go of my mother's wrist. "Why are you lying to me? Ummeoni, you are the only one I can trust, but why doing this to me as well? You don't like me either, do you?" My face feels hot as these words come out of my mouth. 

"Omo, Minah-ah, of course not." My mother's face softens. She reaches for me and pulls me into her arms. "I was scared that the same thing would happen again." She says into my hair. 

"Tell me so I can understand." I said in frustration. "What is it that you are scared of happening?"

"Do you remember when you fell in the playground and got hurt badly?" I nodded. The accident happened 10 years ago. I was playing in the school playground when I got hurt. I was injured pretty badly. I broke my right ankle and my spine need immediate surgery. I was unconscious for days and m