"Goo...good morning Lana!"

"Oh, morning Yixing." Lana replies absentmindedly.

Yixing frowns at the lack of enthusiam in Lana's response. He tries again, "Di..did you m..miss me?"

"Oh...Were you away? Did you enjoy your holiday?" Lana asks uninterestedly.

"Oh...nevermind. Just that Kyung..Kyungsoo said you you were loo..looking for me last week." Yixing answers in a small voice, crestfallen.

"I was? Sorry Yixing, I can't remember. Umm... look I gotta go! Umm.. I'll look for you again when I recall what it is? Later!" Lana answers Yixing distractedly while she rushes towards Sooyoung.

Yixing feels a pang in his heart. He just survived a close brush with death last week. When he finally fully recuperated, the first person he thought of seeing was Lana. He's been looking forward to seeing her face again when he reached the office and when Kyungsoo mentioned that Lana had looked for him during his absence, he perked up and looked for her immediately, secretly pleased that she noticed his absence. Perhaps she might have even missed his presence? But alas, he has always been at the periphery of her attention only and will remain so. Yixing resigns to this fact and feels a soreness in his heart. A dull ache that may feel worst than the gunshot wound he had just recently recovered from. Yixing resigns to the reality, that in Lana's eyes, Yixing will always remain a mere insignificant colleague, someone unworthy of her affections or attention. 

"Soo! Have you heard of any latest news or gossip regarding Lay? Has he been located?" Lana asks Sooyoung eagerly.

Sooyoung sighs, "Unfortunately, no! There's still no news of him! I mean, in his case, possibly no news is good news? At least, we know he's not been captured yet or found dead somewhere? Oh wait. Or are you hoping he's apprehended for good? You've always been disapproving of Lay, haven't you Lana?"

"He saved me remember? I'm not that ungrateful! I'm genuinely concerned about his well-being. I mean... I still don't approve of his vigilante ways and I think he should face the legal consequences of his actions someday. But that doesn't mean I want him dead! I just hope he's fine, somewhere?"

"Ooh, are you finally on Lay's side now Lana? Come on, join us Laynatics!"

"Lay-what?"

"Laynatics! Lay's fan club!"

"That's a dumb name if I ever heard one. But anyways, I'm far from a Laynatic ok?"

"Then what are you? You're either For or Against Lay. Which is it Lana? Choose a side!"

"I...I don't know ok? But does it really matter now? We don't even know if Lay's still around for us to choose sides!" Lana laments exasperatedly.

*** 

Tonight it's Yixing who's tossing and turning in bed, unable to get to sleep. He's wide awake, still nursing the disappointment he felt when he finally met Lana after his close shave with death. He didn't get a chance to properly talk to her or look at her. She didn't even give him the chance. Was he so unworthy of her time? 

Yixing misses his Lana. The Lana who promised that she'll always love him.

Yixing recalls his first encounter with Lana.

He was 11 that year and it was the day of his parents' death anniversary and Yixing had just returned from a visit to the cemetery, all downcast and heavy hearted. He was feeling particularly down and lonely that day. Feeling depressed that he is an orphan and he had just been picked on very badly in school by the bullies. And with his pubescent hormones going haywire, Yixing was emotionally vulnerable and felt downright unwanted and unloved. There was also the added pressure and stress of the upcoming exams, and it made Yixing anxious, more depressed and activated his fight or flight response. And Yixing chose flight, he chose to flee. He wanted to escape from it all. From school, from life. In that moment, Yixing was so blinded by his misery, he could not think clearly and contemplated suicidal thoughts. 

Yixing rashly thought about killing himself by jumping off the rooftop garden of the SM shopping mall that he used to frequent with his parents. Yixing thought it was fitting that he chose to end his life there as that mall contained some of his happiest memories with his parents. He thought it was poetic that he should end his miserable human life there, and thus meet his parents again and join them in the happy afterlife.

He was headed for the elevator to ride to the top floor when a little girl grabbed onto him tightly and wailed, "Waaah...where's Dada and Mama?" 

Yixin was confounded that