"Baek, reassign me. I'll have to stay by Lana's side. She's not safe."

"Suuuure. I'll do it. But first, you have to request nicely. Like this. Repeat after me, 'Hyoooonie Ooop-pahhh! Assign me to protect my lady love! So I can shadow her around like a lovesick puppy! Pwetty pwetty pwease!!! Buing Buing!"

"... off Baek!" 

Baekhyun bursts into racuous laughter, "Ffff.Ffff. off? Haha! Aww... has true love reduce our fearless Lay into a stuttering, bumbling lovefool? Oh wait, you already are one, YIXING! Can you be any more obvious, loverboy?"

"Shut up! I'm this close to punching your jaw! While we're at it, can it on the 'Xingie darling' bull, will ya?" Yixing hisses.

"Come on boss, let me have some fun in the office at least? It's already not fair that outside of The Scoop you boss me around and get all the glory as 'Superhero Lay' for the work we've done. While I..."

Baekhyun pauses dramatically, clutches his chest theatrically and continues, "I... *fake sob* languish in your shadow as your unknown sidekick. Your lackey who does all the grunt work. The unsung hero behind our legendary exploits! I'm the Robin to your Batman. The self-sacrificing..." 

"You're the light switch, Baek. You turn off and turn on the lights. That's all you do." Yixing deadpans.

"Hey! Watch it! I may not have your fighting or killing skills or your healing gift Hyung, but my light manipulation power is a force to be reckoned with too, ok? Did I not save your at Chief Lee's manor?" Baekhyun sasses and Yixing grudgingly agrees silently.

"Good." Baekhyun fakes a hair flip and continues, "Besides, Hyunnie doting on Xingie is just a facade. A highly convincing one, may I add. Thanks to the brilliant Oscar-worthy acting on my part."

"Sure, sure. I'll bear with it to a certain level. Just kindly dial down the effusive affection notch a little, will ya? Oh, and seeing you're so lonely, make sure you don't get so caught up in your act that you fall for me for real. Let me state for the record, I am NOT interested. I only have eyes for Lana." Yixing smugly replies.

"Purrr-lease. As much I love you Hyung. I don't love you in that way. Also, don't you worry, I've actually been seeing someone for quite a while now. Well, more lik