"What does this button do?"

Taeyeon chuckles lightly as Seulgi points to the big red button on the mixer board of the recording room. She ponders for a moment if she should mess with her but decides against it. Seulgi's too precious for that. She should be protected.

"It's to light up the 'recording' sign up there." She explains.

Seulgi nods, moves along in her swivel chair to get a better look of the other flashy buttons and dials.

"Seulgi, aren't you tired?" Taeyeon suddenly asks, just out of curiosity.

"Nope. There's so many things to see! Your workspace is so nice, unnie." She replies, smiling at her. "My Soojung used to come to recording studios all the time, too. Her father owns a big entertainment agency."

"Who?"

"My Soojung." Seulgi says, notices the confused look on Taeyeon's face. "She's my girlfriend. She's very much into music too. She can play the piano and sing really well." Her eyes start to look dreamy but the more she thinks about Soojung, the sadder she gets.

"I'd say you should meet her but even I am not allowed to." She says, now sounding a little defeated.

"Why not?" Taeyeon asks.

"I don't know. Bomi unnie and Chorong unnie don't want me to contact her. I don't know where she is either, if she's in Korea or in California or in New York, so I can't see her." Seulgi looks hard at the empty recording booth in front of her.

"If I may, may I ask why are you apart?"

Seulgi takes a deep breath, feels the sweat run down her forehead. But she clears to answer, determined not to lose control this time because once for today is enough.

"I disappointed her with so many things. She... got tired of us but she says she only needs some time and we can get back together! I know we will. I just have to keep on trying hard not to disappoint her again." She says, sits straighter in her chair, leans towards Taeyeon.

"If I show her just how much I've changed for her, she'll love me again, right? Not that she stopped loving me, but she'll love me even more than she did before, right, Taeyeon unnie?"

Taeyeon looks at her carefully and she has to swallow that terrible feeling of knowing that she's being pitied. And trust her when she says that she gets that all the time, with Bomi, with Chorong, with everyone. It's like they're afraid for her to figure something out. Like they're being careful of hiding something from her in fear of breaking her.

"Uh, right." Taeyeon finally says to spare her life. "I'm sure things will work out the way it's supposed to." An ambiguous answer. She's not sure if she likes this better than Bomi's passive agreements with regards to her and Soojung getting back together.

"I mean, if two people really are meant for each other, they'll be together." Taeyeon continues. "Like Bomi and Chorong. And me and Fany."

"And me and Soojung." Seulgi suggests. "And Seungwan and her wife."

"Ah, no. Hyunie... it's different with Joohyun and Seungwan." Taeyeon's voice becomes gentle now. She leans back on her chair and sighs. "No one expected Joohyun to leave like that."

"How... how did she leave?" Seulgi swallows again, but this time because she's nervous.

"Lupus." Taeyeon's voice shakes when she answers.

"I didn't know." Seulgi doesn't know what else to say.

"None of us did until it was too late. She hid it from all of us to spare us from the pain but... I just wish she had told us." The older girl frowns at her hands, a deep crease on her forehead.

"She must have been very strong, then." Seulgi thinks about how Seungwan's wife probably hurt on her own just to shield her loved ones from the pain of having to deal with the possibility of her dying.

"She was." Taeyeon agrees with a bittersweet smile.

"How did Seungwan take it?" She has a fair idea of why Seungwan acts that way.

Taeyeon shakes her head.

"She knew up to some extent. That's why they married at such a young age." Taeyeon says.

"21 is still too early for Seungwan but she loved my sister very much. To her, no age is better than that to get married."

Seulgi swallows.

"H-how long have they been married before she..?"

"Joohyun passed away two months after their first anniversary. She was 25 then. Seungwan was 22." Taeyeon takes a deep breath.

"Do you see now why we want you two to become friends?" Seulgi stays silent, listens to the older girl talk.

"No one would understand your pain better than Seungwan because she lost someone she loved better than her own life too. And no one would understand Seungwan's pain better than you, Seulgi."

She purses her lips, somehow wants to point out that it's different even though Taeyeon makes it sound so similar - Joohyun's never coming back because it's physically impossible but Soojung can and she will. But Seulgi doesn't say it because it would be mean to.

"I'm telling you this now because I am sincerely hoping that you can be of help to our Seungwan. She's gonna say a lot of mean and hurtful things to you because that is what she has become after losing Joohyun, but please, please don't give up on her." Taeyeon's eyes take on an intense look, like there's a warm fire burning there.

Seulgi has to look away, unable to hold the older girl's gaze. She can't fathom just how much is at stake for Taeyeon. She loves her sister and she cares about Seungwan too. It would kill Seulgi to think how much more pain Taeyeon would be in if Seungwan doesn't get better because she's a good person. And good people should get their happy endings. There's just no way Seulgi will be able to say no.

"I won't."

--

The weekend comes faster than Seulgi expects it to which should be a good thing because before any of this, she actually liked weekends. But it isn't the same without Soojung. She doesn't think her life will ever be the same without Soojung. Soojung who makes her happy, Soojung who is the reason behind it all, Soojung who she has given everything up for. When is she coming back to make things right?

The alarm clock next to her bed buzzes loudly to indicate that it's 7 o'clock. Seulgi turns the alarm off, finding it odd at first why it's set to alarm so early but then she remembers that tonight is a special night of a sort - Seungwan with Taeyeon and Tiffany are coming over for a sitdown dinner.

With this in mind, she gets up from her bed and hurries to the kitchen to try and see where Bomi and Chorong might need help in preparing but she only finds them all lovey dovey, Bomi hugging Chorong from the back, as they make breakfast.

She thinks she's seen this scene before. When she was seven. In the house she grew up in. Her father being touchy with her mother. But they see her and they break apart like it's a crime.

Chorong and Bomi do the same. But with much more reluctance than her parents ever had.

"Good morning." She says with a smile, her voice cutting through the silence that has spread like butter on toast that is the atmosphere.

"Good morning. Did you sleep well, Seul?" Bomi greets her, awkwardly swings her arms around.

"Sure did. I'm excited for tonight." She declares, sits up on a counter stool so she's in front of Chorong.

"That's great! We are, too." Chorong pipes up, sets down a plate of eggs and toast in front of Seulgi.

"Let me know if you guys need help with anything, okay? I wanna make sure everyone's comfy tonight. Especially Seungwan." Seulgi pauses, doesn't miss the way Bomi and Chorong exchange glances.

"Because we're friends." She adds. She pulls her plate towards her and starts to eat. "I'm not sure if she wants to be my friend but I definitely want to be hers." She trails off.

Now that Seulgi thinks about it, she has no idea how to actually befriend Seungwan. The girl's defenses are too high. Also, she's armed with a blunt tongue that left her in tears the last time they saw each other. But she remembers Taeyeon and she knows she has to be strong, has to think of something to get past those walls. She's determined to at least get one step closer to Seungwan tonight.

So after breakfast, Seulgi gets busy. She accompanies Chorong to the whole foods store and helps her pick only the freshest and the best ingredients to use for the dinner that the older girl will prepare. She also helps Bomi clean the house. And when that was done, she spends time choosing what outfit to wear and perfecting her makeup so she would look nice.

Taeyeon and Tiffany arrive with Seungwan at a quarter past seven, all dressed up smartly that it makes Seulgi feel like she's under dressed even though she's already in her best cashmere sweater. They bring with them a dozen cupcakes, all decorated to perfection with ribbons and edible fondant flowers that has everyone's mouth watering. 

"You made cupcakes?"

"Seungwan did." Taeyeon says as she passes the box to Chorong.

"They look really good!"

"And they taste as good as they look." Tiffany says, eye smile radiant as ever. She looks at Seulgi and gives her a one-armed hug. "How has our baby bear been?"

Seulgi smiles at her, ponders on how she should answer the question when she notices Chorong steering Seungwan to the kitchen. Her eyes follow them but Taeyeon steps in her line of sight, blocks her view.

"Listen, Seul." The older woman says in a low voice. "Tonight happens to be a special night of sorts for Seungwan."

"It is for me, too." Seulgi says with a smile but what Tiffany says next wipes that smile off her face.

"She may or may not try to leave in middle of dinner."

"What-" Seulgi wants to say that she shouldn't, that she can't because she worked hard to make sure that Seungwan will be comfortable.

"We just want to ask you to keep an eye on her, alright?" Tiffany says, frowning a little. "Sorry for making you feel burdened, Seulgi. But..."

"You're the only one who can get through to Seungwan."

Seulgi has no idea what they're talking about or how they got to the conclusion that she's 'the only one who can get through to Seungwan' when Seungwan doesn't even like seeing her much less talking to her (yet). Is there some sort of inside joke going on here?

Clueless, Seulgi follows the others into the kitchen just in time to hear Chorong and Seungwan talk about cooking. It dawns on her that this is the first time she's ever heard her talk about something so casual. No insults. No negativity. Just plain talking. If she were like this the first time Seulgi met her, she would have thought that she's alright. Hearing her like this kinda intensifies the desire for Seulgi to befriend her.

"Do you really like cooking?" Bomi asks. She and Seungwan lean with their elbows up on the counter while Chorong puts garnish on the lasagna.

"Hmm, not really cooking. More like baking. I'm fine with cooking. I just don't find it as fun as baking." Seungwan replies, shrugs.

"Rongie's really good at cooking! But I wish she could learn baking too. I really like the sweet stuff." Bomi says.

"I can teach you baking, Chorong unnie. And you can teach me how to cook too." Seungwan suggests.

Chorong looks up from what she's doing and gives the younger girl a warm smile.

"That's a great idea!" She exclaims. "When can we schedule sessions?"

"I'll let you know when I can come over, unnie."

Seulgi steps to Bomi's side and Seungwan immediately becomes quiet. The feeling that she knows she's responsible for the sudden change in mood is so unpleasant.

Seungwan turns away and heads for the dining table. Seulgi tries to follow but Bomi stops her, hands her plates and instructs her to set the table. She tries to strike up a conversation with Seungwan as she puts cutlery on the table but is only answered with monosyllabic responses or none at all which is discouraging but it's too soon to give up.

They start on the three-course dinner and it's a repeat of the brunch they shared when Seulgi met Taeyeon and Tiffany. Only this time, Seungwan is with them and it feels so much like she's being sales talked into buying Seulgi.

"Seulgi really liked the map Taeyeon unnie gave her. You had a hand in it, didn't you, Seungwan? You must really know your away around Myeongdong."

"Seulgi's good at sports. Maybe you can play together sometime?"

"Seulgi's very much musically inclined. Didn't you star in musicals way back in high school?"

It gets burdensome after a while that Seulgi really just wants to sink to the cushions of her chair. She feels Seungwan's gaze on her, heavy and curious. She wonders what she's thinking about.

They're halfway through the main course when Seungwan excuses herself to use the bathroom. Taeyeon and Tiffany had started on wine a few conversations ago (thankfully not about Seulgi or Seungwan anymore) and are too occupied. But Seulgi is alert, remembering clearly what they told her earlier. She discreetly follows Seungwan, sees her walk out the main door so calm, like she isn't even trying to escape.

Seulgi goes after her, catches her by the elevator.

"Where are you going? Dinner isn't over." She says.

"You don't need to know. It's none of your business." Seungwan replies, voice neutral as she avoids her gaze.

"It is. You're my guest. I can't just let you leave without knowing where you're going or why you're leaving." She reasons out but it looks like Seungwan is unreasonable.

"I don't need to explain myself to you." She says, defensive and cold. She punches the button angrily and the elevator doors close on Seulgi. The last look Seungwan makes it clear that she regrets nothing.

Seulgi's shoulder fall to a slouch. This is so frustrating. She tried like Taeyeon asked her to. She did what she can but Seungwan is unmovable as ever. Just how heartless could she be to ignore Seulgi's efforts to make sure she would stay? If only Soojung was here, she'd probably feel offended like Seulgi is feeling right now. But it's ironic that the very reason she's trying to befriend Seungwan is because Soojung's not here, because they're supposed to relate to each other better than anyone, as confusing as that sounds.

That could very well be the reason why she should try again. She can't keep on letting Seungwan push her away. She can't let her efforts go to waste even if giving up right now looks easier. After all, she swore to herself that she will get one step closer to her tonight.

And so Seulgi follows her again, catches the next elevator and gets to the lobby just in time to see Seungwan get on a cab. She gets one for herself and instructs the driver to follow Seungwan's cab.

They drive around for ten minutes or so. They stop at a fancy looking restaurant just a few blocks away from Chorong and Bomi's place.

Seulgi's not even trying to be stealthy so it's no surprise that Seungwan spots her as soon as she gets off her cab.

"What the do you think you're doing?" She rounds on her, hands on her hips to look intimidating. "I thought I made it clear that I want to be left alone? Go away!" Every word Seungwan says fuels the flame inside Seulgi. She's really getting tired of this. Who does this girl think she is?

"Do you think I like the idea of leaving without telling Bomi unnie or Chorong unnie? I'm not doing this for myself!" She says, glaring back at her. She breathes heavily, trying to calm herself.

"So why are you here?" Seungwan fires back.

Seulgi doesn't answer. There are so many things she regretted saying because her emotions got the better of her. Soojung would be disappointed if she were to say the wrong thing so she choses not say anything.

The two of them are quiet for a moment, thinking things through. It's quite clear that Seulgi's not leaving and Seungwan's not going back either. Stubborn. They're both stubborn. Taeyeon was right. They do have a lot in common.

"Fine. Stick around or whatever. I don't own the place and I have no right to make you leave but don't you dare talk to me." Seungwan is the first to give up, marches away from Seulgi, and enters the restaurant.

Seulgi kicks the ground, shoves her hands in her pockets but nonetheless follows Seungwan inside, keeping a safe distance and pretending to be looking around instead of at her.

Seungwan walks up to the usher who greets her warmly.

"Miss Son, I was wondering if you were coming." The man says to her, a sad smile on his face.

"Would I ever miss this day?" Seungwan replies. "It's our fourth anniversary. Table for one, please."

The way Seungwan had said it has Seulgi frozen on the spot. The feeling is so familiar, so intimate and Seulgi can't explain how.

------------------------

A/N: I won't update until the second week of December (latest) so I will leave you all with this chapter for the mean time. Comment if you can! Thanks!

- Bluekimchi