A/N: I decided to screw things and just write a special chapter. I wedged this in between the chapters I've written in advance which means this is fresh and might have typos and such. On another note, I kept the angst to a minimum 'cause I love y'all so much. So, Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays, everyone! :) -Bluekimchi

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Seulgi's noticing some things lately. One, it's gotten colder, much colder. Chorong bought her long coats and scarves and gloves. She's been wearing those stuff in layers. Two, the days seem shorter and the nights longer like literally. The sun goes up at 7:30AM and goes down at 4PM. And three, she's being dragged to the mall more often than not to shop for gifts.

And those things could only mean that Christmas is near!

She doesn't really know about the months and dates anymore since Soojung left. But Christmas is something else! Who doesn't know about Christmas? Although, Soojung wasn't big on it, she, Seulgi, was.

She remembers waking up on Christmas eve to their giant Christmas tree and how her father would help her put the star at the very top because he says only she can 'cause she's his star. She remembers cozy family dinners with the relatives. And also remembers how she hates having Bomi as Secret Santa because she really has y gift ideas. Just thinking about Bomi and Secret Santa makes her shudder. Maybe it isn't so bad to celebrate Christmas a bit differently this year.

Bomi tells her it'll be something simple. Just dinner on Christmas Eve with Seungwan and Taeyeon and Tiffany. But Seulgi assumes that they, the unnies, will be doing some sort of 'couples only' things the next day which means she and Seungwan will most likely be left out. Maybe they'll do something fun on their own, her and Seungwan.

And so Christmas eve comes and brings with it full on holiday cheer and a warmth ascribed to the presence of family and friends. Seulgi did all the decorations, lights and garlands daintily hanging all over the flat. Chorong prepared a hearty meal that they all enjoyed. Seungwan and Taeyeon baked desserts that had the whole apartment smelling like gingerbread cookies. Tiffany was in charge of keeping conversations rolling and Bomi just made everyone laugh.

It's good and Seulgi can say that she's happy for the first time in a long time. But she would be lying to herself if she denies that nothing feels wrong because there is, an unexplainable feeling gnawing at the back of her head holding her back. It's a little sad and it laces her smile with bitterness. She doesn't know what it is until Seungwan sits next to her on the couch, their unnies are drinking wine on the balcony so they're alone.

Seulgi takes her time, chooses her words carefully.

"This is my second Christmas without Soojung." She mutters, waits for Seungwan's response.

"It's my fifth without Joohyun unnie." Seungwan's face takes on a blank look. "Take it from me, it doesn't get any easier with time."

Seulgi frowns. Does Seungwan expect her to wait forever for Soojung to come back? Or maybe she doesn't believe that Soojung will come back. She needs some reminding, Seulgi thinks.

"But Soojung can still come back." She says, prepares herself for the worst - Seungwan lashing out at her that will result in her spending Christmas day alone.

"Yeah. She still can." Seungwan answers and Seulgi almost chokes on air. She looks at her, surprised.

"It's Christmas." Seungwan says to answer the underlying questions of why behind Seulgi's wide eyed expression. "Don't get used to it." She warns, laughs.

So this cynic actually believes in the Christmas spirit. She may very well be humoring Seulgi but who cares? She's right. It's Christmas. So when Seulgi replies, it's light and carries no hint of bitterness.

"O-okay. I'll take what I can get."

Seungwan laughs again, a light and joyful sound ringing in the room. It's beautiful, Seulgi thinks.

She takes a deep breath. She should ask Seungwan now if she wants to spend time with her tomorrow. Forget about being nervous. Why does it suddenly feel like she's in high school again?

"So, I've heard from Tiffany unnie that they're all going to a Christmas concert or something tomorrow." Seulgi starts. "Since they're not taking us with them, we should spend Christmas day together. What do you think?"

Seungwan smiles, nods slowly.

"Sounds like a plan. Yeah, sure."

--

"What do you usually do for Christmas?" was the question Seungwan posed at Seulgi the moment they set off from the bus stop.

She sweats profusely at the thought, realizing that this really is the first Christmas where she can't do any of what she used to do without her family and Soojung. Seungwan must've noticed how it threw her off because she attempts to backtrack.

"I haven't really made a big fuss out of it for years now." She confesses. "So I'll let you decide on what to do."

"Yeah. I guess we're both having our first Christmas of a sort?" Seulgi says, shrugs. 

She thinks hard, talks when an idea comes to her. "How about this? I know it's not Tuesday or Thursday but... maybe we can just take the usual route and walk around town?"

"Yeah, let's do that."

The streets are packed with cars, the sidewalks with people. Seulgi takes this as her cue to stick close to Seungwan lest they be separated and she didn't want that. Her eyes take in the sight of falling snow and heavily decorated store windows. Kids running here and there. Teenagers with their friends. Couples. Couples everywhere. 

They're halfway through their usual route, a few blocks away from the orphanage when Seulgi notices a particular shop, full of activity. Workers are loading a big truck with crates of flowers. Another truck is being loaded with a black grand piano. People dressed in tuxedos, carrying cased instruments can be seen standing on one side, huddling for warmth while some are smoking. One person with a clipboard is barking orders left and right. Seulgi manages to catch the words 'marriage proposal' and it all makes sense.

What doesn't is the sudden burst of emotion from her chest, flooding through her veins. A mixture of anger and sadness and something else. Seungwan looks curiously at her as she fixes her gaze on her feet.

"What's up?"

"I-I don't know... I don't feel too good all of a sudden." She says, frowns.

"Oh... Why don't we just finish the walk and get some cocoa?"

Seulgi nods. Seungwan holds out her hand and she takes it without question. They resume their walk in silence, Seulgi still caught up in her thoughts of marriage proposals in winter and why it bothers her and Seungwan just waiting for her to say something. However, she pushes these thoughts aside as soon as the orphanage comes into view. She pulls Seungwan into that direction, turns to face her and then looks expectantly at her as they stand a few feet away from the door.

"What?" Seungwan asks, eyebrows raised.

"Aren't we going inside?" Seulgi replies, gestures to the warm and inviting doors of the building. The sky has gotten dark and the snow still continues to fall.

"Huh?" Seungwan looks appalled, like Seulgi just suggested something terrible.

"It's Christmas. You should at least get to see Yerim." Seulgi says, pulls at her hand again.

"But Seulgi-" Seungwan fights her, drags her feet on the ground for some resistance but Seulgi is adamant.

"I don't see Taehyun's car. He must be with his family or something." 

Seungwan looks around for confirmation, and true enough, Taehyun's car was out of sight so she relaxes a little. Seulgi drags her past the entrance and into the hall. 

As her eyes roam around the premises of the orphanage, her mind starts to run in circles. Isn't this a little too much? She might have wanted to see Yerim (she's been stealing glances at the child for weeks now) but the thought of talking to her is another thing.

She knows that the children will be in the event hall for a Christmas story telling and gift giving organized by the volunteer but she can't pull herself together enough to decide if she wants to go even as Seulgi leads her there. Surprisingly, Seulgi seems to know her way in the building.

Seungwan comes to a decision just as they arrive at the door.

"Wait, Seulgi." Her voice comes out shaky, her eyes full of hesitation. 

"Hmm? It's through this door, right?" Seulgi gets a good look at her and she finally sees how nervous she is. It's enough to scare her.  "What's wrong?" She asks, concerned.

"I don't think I'm ready for this." She says. "I mean, this is so sudden. I don't even know what I will say to Yerim. She doesn't know about Joohyun unnie leaving. Seulgi, I'm not ready." She looks at her with eyes begging. That's when Seulgi realizes that she might have made a mistake.

"Okay, calm down." She takes slow steps toward her. "We won't go in if you don't want to." She says gently, takes Seungwan's hands to assure her.

"Sorry if I forced things on you, Seungwan. I just thought..." She apologizes but Seungwan stops her.

"It's okay."

For a few moments, no one talks. They just stand opposite each other, hands gripping each other's. Seulgi worries about what would happen next. If she ruined things by making Seungwan feel uncomfortable.

"Let's just go." Seungwan says. But she only takes a few steps when she exclaims, "Wait! I just remembered something."

"What is it?" 

Seulgi's heart starts to race in her chest because Seungwan just went from nearly breaking down to a very giddy child real quick as she pulls Seulgi deeper into the hallway. They take a left turn and then they're out into the courtyard. A tree about ten feet high stands in the middle of the grounds, strung with glowing Christmas lights and some pieces of paper that looked like cards. 

"The wish tree." Seungwan breathes, a peaceful look on her face. "They still have it."

"What's the wish tree?"

"Years back, during my first year of volunteering, the volunteers tried to raise funds for a wishing fountain to be put here. The amount generated wasn't enough so Joohyun unnie suggested putting up a wishing tree instead, since it would cost less and, well, it's Christmas too."

"Anyone who wants to make a wish can write their wish on a card and hang it on a tree but they in turn would take one wish from the tree and try to make that wish come true for whoever made it."

Seulgi nods in understanding. Joohyun must have been an angel. It's no wonder why Seungwan fell for her. She's a really good person. 

"Well, shall we?" Seulgi asks and Seungwan nods at her.

They each take a card from a basket placed at the foot of the tree and scribble down their wishes. Seulgi hangs up hers first, hands fumbling with the strings. Then she takes a card for the wish she's supposed to fulfill and patiently waits for Seungwan to finish with hers.

Quietly, they find their way to the exit, both absorbed in their own thoughts. Seulgi feels the need to start conversation first so she does.

"Well... what did you wish for?"

"I didn't wish for myself. I did it for someone else." Seungwan starts. She stares into space and Seulgi just watches her.

Looking at Seungwan right now, she sees glimpses of a girl who believes in silver linings or at least hopes for other people that those so-called things exist. Otherwise, she wouldn't be wishing on a tree, right? Given the chance to wish for her own happiness or for herself, Seungwan still chooses to think of other people. How very selfless. Seulgi looks at her and she feels certain about one thing, Seungwan and Joohyun are really soulmates. They're both really great people and they deserved each other.

"I wished for Yerim to find a good family and to grow up happy." 

Seungwan's eyes take on a soft look like she could be holding back her tears as she finishes speaking but she's smiling when she turns to Seulgi. 

"What about you?" She asks.

For a brief moment, Seulgi wonders what Seungwan will think of her if she tells her what she wrote on that piece of paper. Did she see it coming? Will she feel offended? Or will she humor her again like she did last night? Seulgi still takes her chances with honesty.

"Socks." Seulgi says, smiles back. A moment of silence passes then Seungwan bursts out laughing.

"Socks? Really?" She looks at her, trying to check if she's joking.

"Yeah, socks." Seulgi replies, gives her a serious look.

"Not Soojung? Interesting." Seungwan mutters.

"Well, I'm already wishing for Soojung every moment of every day. I figured I could wish for something else this Christmas." Seulgi shrugs.

"Well, yeah. You can wish for something else other than Soojung... but, socks?" Seungwan really finds it funny. 

"If it gives you any comfort, that wasn't the only thing I wished for." Seulgi says, walks ahead of Seungwan.

"Okay, so what else did you wish for?" Seungwan pulls her hand to make her stop, pulls hard so that they're facing each other.

Seulgi takes a deep breath and thinks why, why she made that wish too. But what need is there for answers? At the end of the day, she's still waiting for Soojung to come back and Seungwan's still in love with Joohyun who couldn't stay. They can try to find a way to work around those facts but they're still facts. Wishing is just wishing. So even if Seulgi wishes her hardest, she's not going to get Soojung back for Christmas. That's just not possible but it's okay because Christmas is still Christmas. And this is okay too. Having Seungwan next to her makes her feel okay enough to wish for something else. So when Seulgi gathers the courage, she answers Seungwan's question with certainty.

"I wished for your wish to come true."

The wind blows and the frost fall gets heavy.

Seulgi takes a step forward, removes her scarf from her neck, and with, shaking hands, wraps it around Seungwan in a gesture of warmth.

"Merry Christmas, Seungwan." She says, pulling back.

Seungwan looks up at her, frozen for a moment but soon finds herself smiling at her and it's the warmest smile she's ever smiled in a really long time.

"Yeah, Merry Christmas, Seulgi." She replies.