This is something new. Walking around town together. It's not a bad thing but it gets in the way of Seulgi's excursions to Myeongdong which means less time spent for preparing for Soojung's return. Still, she doesn't say no to Seungwan. After all, she's her only friend (she might even be her best friend now considering how things are).

Seulgi noticed that Seungwan slows down whenever they reach this particular street. This has been their only route since they started doing this last week, every Tuesdays and Thursdays. Seulgi wonders what's in this street that makes Seungwan stop and stare for a good fifteen minutes when there isn't much to see here - just a small park on one side and a tall dilapidated building on the other which she thinks is an orphanage because of the number of children roaming around its perimeter, within the confines of its fences.

She wants to ask her but doesn't want to come across as rude and gossipy because she has come to genuinely be concerned about her friend. So like everything else with Seungwan, she doesn't push it and just waits for her to say something. 

They must have been standing there for ten minutes and Seulgi's already expecting to wait for another ten, or maybe five, before they start walking again but something else happens. A car pulls up in front of them and Seungwan's hand wraps around her wrist and the next thing she knows, they're running away from something. Seulgi barely has enough time to look over her shoulder but she catches sight of a young man, getting off the car. She thinks that he looks familiar but she's not sure because they're moving further and further away and the man is getting smaller and smaller.

Seungwan stops running when she's out of breath. Seulgi's practically dying by that time. She had no idea Seungwan was capable of running that far, that fast. Needless to say, she's in pretty good shape and Seulgi is just plain out of it (it's evident as she clings to a nearby lamppost to keep herself from falling over).

"W-what was that?" Seulgi blurts out before she can stop herself. Seungwan looks at her with furrowed brows.

"Taehyun." She mumbles, forming something between a pout and a frown.

"Who?"

"Nam Taehyun. You know, the guy from the restaurant." She explains 

"Oh. OH." Seulgi says. She straightens out. 

Seungwan shrugs and starts walking again. Seulgi catches up to her because she gets the feeling that she's about to open up and that she shouldn't let this go.

"I feel like I owe you an explanation for dragging you like that." Seungwan starts. "I'm sure you're curious about that orphanage, too."

"You don't have to talk about it if you don't feel like it-"

"Kids. Joohyun unnie and I wanted kids." Seulgi falls silent, swallows whatever words were left unsaid.

"All throughout college, we volunteered at that place every weekend. I always thought that she had issues about being the maknae in the family and that she wanted dongsaengs. Or maybe that she just likes being around people of the same mental age as her." She smiles. "After her graduation, just a few months before our wedding, she told me that she wanted to have children."

Seulgi nods, letting Seungwan know that she's listening and prompting her to continue.

"There's this kid in the orphanage that we were really fond of. Her name is Yerim." Seungwan's eyes take on a far off look. Seulgi moves closer. "The plan was to adopt her after the wedding but the process was so rigorous. You would have thought we were fighting for the unification of the north and the south. It was so stressful for Joohyun unnie. It wasn't good for her to deal with things like that given her... health. We had to stop."

She swallows, gathers the will to continue.

"And after that night with Taehyun, I just keep on thinking about how Yerim is doing." She frowns again. Seulgi has to fight the urge to pat her on the shoulder or to just touch her because she's not sure how Seungwan would react.

"Why don't you just go and visit her instead of watching her from afar?" She finally says after a long period of silence.

"It's not that simple, Seulgi. I can't let Taehyun think that I'm considering his offer." Seungwan replies, brows even more furrowed.

"What offer?" 

Seungwan hesitates, eyes darting to Seulgi's and then somewhere else over and over.

"What offer?" Seulgi tries again. Seungwan sighs.

"He says he can get Yerim's adoption papers processed if we can get married." She confesses.

Seulgi is too surprised, she forgets to be calm.

"You can't!" She exclaims in a way that gives off a feel similar to that of chastising which she did not intend.

"I know! That's why I can't let him think that!" Seungwan says, defensive. Seulgi knows she rubbed off wrong.

"Okay. I'm sorry. That came off wrong." She apologizes immediately. Seungwan gives her a glare, takes the time to decide if she would accept the apology.

"It's okay." She finally concedes, drops the hostile look.

"I appreciate your honesty. Thank you, Seungwan." Seulgi adds because she really does appreciate her effort to open up. Seungwan just nods. 

"But I really think you should check up on Yerim. I'll help you out. We'll think of a way to get that Taehyun off your back. What's his deal anyway? You don't have to answer-"

"It's okay, Seulgi. It's not a crime to ask." She replies. "We're high school friends. He's liked me since high school. At least that's what he says."

That definitely cleared up a lot. It feels nice to actually talk about things like this. To some extent, it brings a certain spring in Seulgi's step and a glow in her smile. When silence falls upon them, it's okay because what comes next makes Seulgi want to trade all the noise in the world for those words that came out of Seungwan's mouth.

"Thank you. I appreciate your concern." She says and it's Seulgi's turn to nod.

--

Seulgi has been coming back to her studio to work on her paintings again. Somehow, this fact gives her a sense of accomplishment. Perhaps it gives the impression that things are back to normal, or at the very least starting to. It's true that Soojung is yet to come back and the days that they're apart are just growing in number. But having something to do makes Seulgi feel like she's getting somewhere, no matter how small it is - a drop in the bucket of her life that she is trying to put back together with art glue.

Today, her hands are streaked with yellow and orange (she's trying to recreate her first sunset in California with Soojung) and she's filled with hope. Her ears are slowly getting accustomed to the chomping noises from Bomi across the room. Which is actually amazing because it's similar to that of clockwork and it helps keep her concentration to a steady beat until Bomi runs out of food.

"Ah! I'm out of chips!" She crumples the empty plastic wrapper in her hands. 

The sound is enough to ruin Seulgi's momentum. She looks over her shoulder, glares at Bomi who's sitting on the couch. 

"I'm telling on you to Chorong unnie. You're skipping work."

"Yah! I'm not."

"Yes, you are."

"This is called taking a break, Seulgi." Bomi says in her defense. "You cannot imagine how stressful it is at the office."

Seulgi kind of wants to tell her that if she can't handle the stress, she should just quit but that's a mean thing to say so she doesn't say it. 

"Dad knows too many people and they're asking for favors left and right and it's not even a part of my job description." Bomi whines. Seulgi's brain clicks into action.

"Unnie?"

"What is it?"

"Does uncle know any people in social welfare?"

"Yeah, I'm sure he does. He has foundations and charities everywhere. What kind of social welfare are we talking about here?"

"Yeah, you know that... people in the government... taking care of homeless people and children without families." Her hand comes up to rub the back of her neck. Why has it suddenly become uncomfortable?

"Adoption? You're not thinking of adopting kids, are you?" The answer is written all over Bomi's face. She didn't want her to jump into conclusions.

"It's not for me! It's for Seungwan." And certainly didn't like seeing that michievous look on her face.

"It's because we're friends! It's not a crime to do favor for your friends, right?" Seulgi immediately explains.

That smirk is still on Bomi's face so she tries a different approach to throw her off.

"I mean, I've never even thought about having kids. Soojung... she doesn't seem like she would want to. Have you ever considered doing that?" Seulgi asks, pushing aside the implications behind Bomi's reaction.

"Honestly? Not yet. Rong and I... we're still at the stage where we're enjoying our... each other, you know?" Seulgi wants to feel offended because she doesn't know. Bomi sees her frown and she explains.

"When you do get to this point," Bomi avoids saying the word. "You're gonna want to spend maybe the first two or three years by yourselves. No kids to worry about. Just you and your partner, getting to know each other." Seulgi nods.

That certainly was not the case with Seungwan and Joohyun. Unlike Bomi and Chorong and every other young married couple in this damn planet, Seungwan and Joohyun didn't have the luxury of waiting and using their time on getting to know each other. Joohyun might have wanted that too but she knew what little time she had left and she wanted to start a family with her wife sooner than later. And it's sad because she never did see it. Maybe that's the reason why Seungwan is thinking of pushing it through, for the sake of fulfilling Joohyun's last wish (though she can't be sure of that because she didn't personally know the girl) because she loved her. And still does.

She thinks about how strong Seungwan has been, staying true to her promise to love Joohyun when she knows how hard it must have been. She can't really say that she and Seungwan share the same pain like Taeyeon, Bomi, and Doctor Choi do. She knows Seungwan has it harder. And she admires her for holding up all these years. She may have become a cynic when it comes to finding love again but that's because she has sworn to love Joohyun and only her for the rest of her life. That's real strength right there. 

It's not that Seulgi is having second thoughts about Soojung. She still can't bear to think of spending her happily ever after without her. It's just that she wonders if Soojung will ever feel so strongly for her, like Seungwan feels so sure about Joohyun even after her passing. She knows she does for Soojung. But what about her?

"What do you need me to do for Seungwan?" Bomi asks to break the silence.

"There's a little girl in the orphanage on fifth avenue that she and her wife had tried to adopt before her wife's death. I want to help her fight for legal custody." Seulgi replies, fire in her eyes.

"I'll see what I can do." Bomi says, smiles widely for some reason. "For your friend. Because it's not a crime to help."

Again Seulgi tries to not mind the implications.

--------------------

A/N: I can't believe that there's only seven days before Christmas. I was actually planning to write a bonus chapter or Christmas special of a sort but it's too out of place at the rate we're going. Tough luck. But should I write a one-shot instead? - Bluekimchi