At lunch, I ordered noodle soup to calm my stomach. I took my food and sat on one of the bench in the cafeteria. Earn, Por and Card approached me. The two wanted to sit next to me but Earn passed beside me and sat on the bench behind me, with his back turned to me. I froze with the fork still in my mouth. His reaction shocked me because I didn’t expect him to be that cold to me. What did I do for him to ignore me like that?

My two friends stood there and watched me then him. They took the seat beside him. My heart felt heavy as if something sat on my chest. I clenched my chest to soothe the sharp pain but the pain won’t go away. I placed the fork on the table and looked down in my plate. Fee took place in front of me. So that he won’t notice how pathetic I was right now, I refused to look up to him.

  „Fee, did i do something wrong yesterday?“, i asked with a gentle voice without looking at him.

  „Do you really want to remember what really happened in the restaurant?“

He pushed his food, Curry rice, to me. The smell of the curry filled the air around me. All the sudden i felt sick. I covered my nose with a finger but the smell was too strong. I wanted to puck so i covered a hand on my mouth. The memories of yesterday suddenly flashed before my eyes: Earn came back in the restaurant, we fought, he saved me from a car accident and brought me home.

I blushed from embarassment. My face heated up. I could feel the heat in my whole body.

  „Why did i do that?“, i spoke to myself.

Fee was amused by my red face and giggled by himself. He happily ate his food while i was dealing with my embarassed memories. Por and Card glanced at us. They seemed to be interested in my little conversation with Fee. Earn however didn’t even bother to look at me. He ate his food in silence.

So this is how our situation will go on? We’ll ignore each other until our friendship suffer and break down. Are you alright with our friendship ending like that? I wanted to distance myself from him to get over him but i’m disapointed that he’s doing the same to me too. That means i’m not that important to him and he can easily end our long friendship, without batting an eye.

A cold hand touched my hand, it gently caressed the back of my hand. This tender touch pulled me out of the daydream. I looked up and saw Fee observing me. He seemed to be concerned about me.

I don’t want to concern myself about Earn anymore but my love for him won’t let me do so. I don’t want to have feelings for him but the more i fought against my feelings, the merrier I long for him. My lust for him is too big so that i’m acting out of character whenever he’s around me. I don’t like to lose control over myself but because of him, i drank too much and fought with him.

  „Are you alright?“, Fee asked me when i didn’t react to his touch.

I shook my head, „Not really“, i told him the truth. I wanted to lie that i’m alright but i can’t do this anymore. Really, i’m tired to act though as if everything was fine and i don’t have any worries.

Noh slided to Earn then scared him. He jerked away from surprise. As he realized that it was his crush, he gave him a big relieved smile. Noh sat next to him and laid his arm around his shoulders. I restrained myself to not look at them but my heart urged me to face them. I watched the two of them. They were intimated with each other like i was with Earn a few days ago. It looked like Noh took my place next to him and in his heart too. It was painfull to see how he can treat me coldly but smile at Noh like that.

Fee threw Earn a disapointed look and shook his head in disbelieve. Somehow his expression looked like he was upset at my best friend and wanted to punch him in the face. I don’t have any appetit so I stood up and left the room with my eyes directed on the ground to avoid Earn. I went in the toilet, washed my face and examined my own reflection in the mirror. My teary eyes made me pity myself.

Why did i fall for such a hopeless bastard? Why do I have to cry over him? Crying over something like that won’t make me feel better. It won’t make him fall for me either. I should instead get over him.