After I took the fourth bites on the sandwich, I lost my appetit. Fee’s image appeared in my mind, he smiled at me. His picture blurred, it was remplaced with Earn's, his lips formed a smile for me, exposing his cute dipples I love so much. Fee’s confession made a mess in my head, I don’t know what to do anymore. My mobilphone vibrated on the table. Before I took the call, I saw on the phonescreen. Fee was written on it. Without any further delay, I picked up the phone call.

A little smile appeared on my face, „Hey.“

  „Hey, how do you feel?“

  „Better.“

The confession he made yesterday replayed in my head. A thought dawned in my head: Are you sure you want to take it with Earn? My love for him is so strong that it would be difficult for you to make me forget him. This were the words I wanted to tell him but I decided to keep this comment for myself. He was so confident to make me get over him so I shouldn’t crush his determination like I don't care about his feelings.

The doorbell rang. Fee told me a joke, I laughed about it while opening the door. My eyes widened as I saw an unexpected person in front of me. The grin on my face dissapeared. Earn! What’s he doing here? We gazed long at each other as if we didn’t see each others for months. But as I thought about it, it’s truth that we didn’t speak with each other since I was discharged from the hospital.

Fee who didn’t know who the visitor was, continued with the conversation. I didn’t want him to find out about Earn’s visit, I cut Earn off before he could open his mouth to speak.

  „Fee, I’ll call you later“. I hang up before he could reply. „What do you want?“, was my question for Earn.

  „Can I come in?“, he asked for permission.

Since when do you have to ask for permission to enter my house? I guess the growing distance between us completely destroyed our friendship. Now we’re acting like two strangers. My calm expression changed into a serious one. „I don’t have time for you“. My cold behaviour toward him is the defence I built to push him away.

I wanted to close the entrance, he blocked the door and entered the house. „We need to talk“, he insisted.

I didn’t reply but walked in the living room. He followed me there and waited in front of me but maintained a few inches gape from me. I crossed my arms and prepared myself to get hurt again. Silence filled the air. This scary silence felt like the calm before the storm, my heart thumped fast from tension. Although I was nervous, I acted strong like always to not show my fear, my insecurities, especially my love for him. I hide my trembled hand behind my back.

  „How do you feel?“. His concern about my health calmed me a little bit.

  „I’m fine.“

  „Sorry, I couldn’t visit you in the hospital.“

  „You couldn’t or you didn’t want to visit me?“

This question brought back the silence between us. I couldn’t stand this awkward silence between us anymore, I’m tired of this endless and senseless conversation too. It was about time we clarify the matter between us.

  „Is it because of Noh?“, I asked him.

  „Noh? Why do you always mention him if I try to reconcile with you?“, his confused face made me realize that he still don’t know the reason why I distanced myself fom him. He still didn’t notice that I’m jealous of Noh.

  „If you don’t know the reason for my cold behaviour toward you then this talk is pointless. You should leave“. I walked past him but he grabbed my arm, refused to let me go. 

  „How do you expect from me to know the reason if you don’t talk with me?“

I yanked my arm out his grip. He shook his head, raised his voice, „You’re always like that. You don’t speak much but expect me to read your feelings. I’m not that intelligent to discover the truth behind your weird behaviour on my own.“   

  „Everything began with him“, I raised my voice too, was irritated from his cluelessness. „Your love for him blinded you that you can’t see the reality in front of you.“

  „No…“. He tried to calm down. He succeeded to rest calm for a moment, rubbed nervously on his forehead. „I was in love with him.“

He still denied his feelings for Noh, this guy’s driving me to insanity. Why can’t he finally admit that he’ll always love him? With this revealation, I would be at ease and try harder to get over him. Why do you have to deny everything and get my hopes up?

  „You denied it every time we discuss about your crush for him but I can see he's still important for you. The way you look at him, this longing look on your face... It clearly shows you still love him.“

  „Everything happened because of you“, the words bursted out him.

  „What? Now, you’re holding me responsible for everything happening between us?“, this realization made me to seethe with anger. My heart ached too, I tried to calm myself by clenching my hands into fists.

  „It’s not like that“, His feets moved on its own, walked back and forth, he then waited for awhile. He scratched at the back of his head, looked desperate at me. „It’s not easy for me to confess a second time after I recieved such a heavy blow from Noh“, he mubbled to himself, somehow it seemed he actually said that to me.

What? Wait! A second confession? What does he mean by that? He made my heart jump again from exictement. "Thuthump, Thuthump, Thuthump", my heart was skipping a beat. Please heart, calm down.

  „What do you mean?“

We gazed at each other without blinking for a moment. His brown eyes drew my attention to him, it was impossible for me to avoid his face, it felt like I was bewitched to look forever at him. His lips curved up into a smile, his cute dimples appeared, his white teeth showed a little bit. It was the same genuine smile he always gave Noh. It was the lovely smile that made me jealous every time he showed it to him.

He let go of my wrist, „Why didn’t I notice how beautiful your eyes are before?“. His hand moved to me but he waited. He was hesitating to touch me. It lasted only few seconds before his hand finally touched my cheek. It was warm, like I expected. My body his heat to rise my temperature. My face heated up. The heat spread all over my body. I blushed, bite on my lower lip.

His thumb tenderly caressed my skin, this lovely touch let a shiver ran down my spine. „I love you“, his soft but deep voice echoed in my ears.

My body suddenly froze on the spot, I stood there flabbergasted, couldn’t believe what I just heard. Did i just hear him say he loves me?

  „I don’t love Noh anymore because you made me forget him. I couldn’t tell you that before because I was afraid of the aftermath my confession would cauce... I love you“, he repeated as if he knew I was doubting him.

Somehow I wanted to believe him but my mind told me not to. The way he treated me in the past blocked me from trusting him.

  „I don’t believe you.“

  „It’s okay if you’re doubting me. I didn’t expect you to believe me right away… Do you remember the day I told you about how my heart beated fast whenever I think about a certain person I like?“

The shock took control over me, it made me speechless, I just nodded. He gently grabbed my hand then placed it on his strong chest. I felt something. Incredible! His heart was throbbing as if it would soon jump out his chest, no it was more like it was skipping a beat. I wanted to feel more of it, I held my ear on his chest to hear more from his pounding heart.

  „This is how my heart response whenever you’re next to me. I didn’t want you to find out about it that’s why I couldn’t let you near me.“

Earn loves me? I always thougth he doesn’t care about me anymore but honesly I was actually always surprised when he knew everything that happened around me. Even if he was busy glancing at Noh every day, he noticed that I ate less than usual and lost weight. He treated me coldly whenever I avoided him, he even don’t like to see me with Fee. Now it crossed in my mind: He acted like that because he wanted to hide his love for me. Now everything made sense.

The pain I felt in my heart eased as I realized how much he loves me. It felt great to hear this three words, „I Love You“ from him, it were the words I always wanted to hear from him. I’m so happy, tears of joy filled my eyes. I wanted to grin but the smile suddeny dissapeared. Fee’s face appeared in my mind, his confession replayed in my head. The happiness I just felt faded away, I turned away from Earn.

I can’t do that to Fee. He was the one who was by my side most of the time. When I cried over Earn, he was there for me and comforted me til I forgot my sorrows, he made me happy again. Now I was about to break his heart after he confessed his love to me and was determined to fight for me. If I accept Earn in that instant without properly rejecting Fee first, I would hurt him. Even if I’m happy with Earn, I’ll feel guilty about Fee and break down whenever I see him. Sorry Earn, I can’t accept your love yet. I’m happy you returned my feelings but I can’t mercilessly betray Fee.

  „What’s wrong?“, Earn’s voice pulled me to reality.

He touched my shoulders, I turned back to him. My sad eyes reflected the pain I felt in this very moment.

  „Do you think I would return your love if you confess to me?“, I coldly spoke to him.  

  „I don’t expect anything from you but don’t you feel something for me too?“

  „Not really! I only see you as my best friend“. You should never know that I love you too. If you’re aware of my crush for you, you would never leave me alone. This would cause more stir between Fee and you. To avoid another fight between the two of you, I must reject one of you first. „You’re too late“, I gently muttered.  

I wanted to go but all the sudden warm arms wrapped from behind around my chest, they pulled me back. My back touched Earn’s warm body, it gave me shivers, my mind went blank, my head was relieved from worries too. It felt so good to be so close to him.  

  „Please, don’t say I’m too late. I already lost Noh. If I lose you too, I won’t be able to get over it“, he begged me, his mouth was so close to me that his lips touched my ear. His breath brushed against my skin, my body trembled, goosebumps all over my body.

  „You should leave“, my shaking voice said to him, my shoulder were trembling too.

  „Please, don’t leave me, Pete!“

He pressed his strong body closer to mine. I wanted to give vent to my feelings but whenever I thought about breaking Fee’s poor heart, I kept my mouth shut. My head ached. Again I was under a lots of pressure. Earn should go or I’ll really break down again.

  „I’ll leave if you don’t want to go.“

I fred myself out his grip then climbed the stairs upward. Earn followed me but waited before the stairs. He watched to me til he lost sight of me. I went in my bedroom, shutted the door behind me, sat down on the ground and bent my legs.

The one I want most loves me too but I can’t be with him because I would hurt somebody else with our relationship. Why does this have to happen to me? Why do I have to be this unlucky?

My comment: So finally the three words Pete wanted to hear from Earn. Sorry it took long with the confession but Pete can't accept him yet because I want to shake him more so he would really empathize with Pete and know how it feel when somebody you love ignore you. He should show more of his love for him :D

Thank to you guys for always supporting me. You always give me courage to write more stories. I hope you like the chapter, especially the confession of Earn. Please leave Comments or critics :)