Joohyun (Present day)

“Hello?”

Irene could technically see and sense the waving hand of Wendy in front of her face, but she couldn’t get herself to concentrate. The memories flew back into her mind yet again. Everything was about that first kiss, those many kisses, that song, that time… “Are you okay?” Wendy continued to ask, and only then did the architect snap out of her memories only to look over at the woman beside her. “You both seemed to space out a bit,” she continued, before she opted to retreat her hand, with her gaze going back to Seulgi.

Seulgi let out a chuckle, but Irene wasn’t so sure about how sincere it was. “Oh, we used to sing this song all the time back in the day,” Seulgi lied casually before sipping on her coffee. “It was one of my favorite songs when I was younger.”

Irene could spot the slight trembling from her hands. She was good at hiding it, but whenever she felt nervous her hands would tremble ever so slightly. Maybe some things didn’t change after all. “You did?” Wendy continued to ask, a smile on her face before she looked over at Irene. “You know, there are a lot of things you haven’t told me about your childhood,” she began then, and although she wasn’t exactly suspicious, there was something lingering to it that was left unanswered.

Irene didn’t have anything to hide; not really. It wasn’t as if it would kill Wendy to know about them in the past; it was so long ago that it should have been irrelevant. It was something Irene was supposed to let go, the memories of regarding herself as Joohyun, and she was certain that she did. However, when Irene looked over to the dark-haired woman with that mysterious gaze, the one that made her feel so many emotions all at once when she was younger, she wasn’t sure if she really was completely over it anymore. “That’s because she doesn’t want to share all the embarrassing stories about herself,” Seulgi sounded friendlier now, and once she spoke, the tremble in her hands disappeared as if they weren’t even there. She placed the coffee cup on the table before Irene could spot a small smile on her face.

“Well then it’s a good thing I met you,” Wendy joked slightly, because she had always been a jokester, as she let her lovely chuckle bounce through the room. “So tell me, what was she like?” And Irene could only hope, really hope, that Seulgi wouldn’t mention a single word about them. She really doubted it after how things went between them, and how random that would be, but still she could never be too sure.

“She used to think she was so cool,” Seulgi began casually; a certain tone to her voice that Irene thought was a bit odd. It felt out of place, despite her humorous voice and smile. “She’d often do lots of pranks and stuff, but still liked to cuddle with her teddy-bear and watch sappy movies.”

Normally Irene would’ve said something in return. However, as she watched the scene of her past and her future sitting there and communicating, she had no idea what to say. It was something so weird not even words could describe how she felt in that moment. “Oh, Wendy are you engaged?” she heard Seulgi ask suddenly, probably noticing the diamond ring on her finger. Irene felt herself paying attention suddenly as an odd vibe flashed throughout her stomach. It wasn’t exactly the topic she wanted to go into, but she knew it would appear sooner or later.

“Yes,” Wendy nodded with a grin that stretched ear to ear, a radiance glowing upon her complexion. “We’re getting married in September, although we’ve been engaged for almost a year already.”

Seulgi nodded then, her perfectly manicured nails resting on top of the table. “Wow, for such a short time?” she asked with a slight surprised expression on her face, which almost made Irene want to smile by her widened eyes. “When I got married we didn’t even start planning before it had gone a year.” They continued to discuss some wedding stuff Irene honestly couldn’t care less about. She wouldn’t even pay half the attention she was giving now, had somebody else been speaking to her fiancée. “Who’s the lucky guy?” Seulgi asked then, and Irene swore she could feel the awkwardness lingering in the silence, even if there was chattering over every single corner. Irene wasn’t sure how things were going to go now, but before she could say anything, Wendy did.

“The one planning out your house, silly,” she said with that soft laugh of hers, the one that made Irene fall for her in the first place, but at that moment she didn’t enjoy it as much. “I thought you already knew?” Irene had no idea what to say to that, because as she looked over at Seulgi, she seemed oddly calm. Not that she expected much of a loud reaction, but she seemed relaxed and almost indifferent. Then Seulgi let out a smile, an immediate tug to the corner of her red lips with pearly white teeth to match. From that short smile, Irene noticed that the crooked tooth she once had must have been fixed.

Irene wanted to believe that smile from Seulgi was sincere. Maybe it was, with about fifty percent, but she didn’t know how to feel about that. Why did she want her to seem hurt? Why did she expect to see her hands trembling? “Actually, I didn’t,” Seulgi sounded rather calm again, with her hands on her lap. “Joohyun here seems to hide a lot of things,” she continued with the same composed voice of hers, but even if there was no aggressiveness, Irene still felt a bit uneasy by the whole ordeal.

“Oh, you don’t have anything against same- marriage, do you?” Wendy asked, and Irene wanted to say that Seulgi most likely had nothing against it. Mostly because she out of all people would have nothing to say. However, Irene bit her tongue and continued to listen, because she would be scared to reveal anything.

“Of course not!” Seulgi began, and although she chuckled, it still sounded out of place to Irene’s ears. “Times have moved on, it’s time we do to,” she said with a smile that was alike her laugh; out of place, yet indescribable.

Although Irene wanted to pass the comment off as nothing more than a saying, she couldn’t. Because, judging by everything they had went through, Irene kind of knew it wasn’t really about that. “I probably should have mentioned that earlier,” Irene added for the first time in the entire conversation. She hadn’t really realized how long she had been quiet until it felt odd hearing her voice again. “But I’ve been so busy with your house that it must have slipped my mind.”

Seulgi nodded then, but even if her eyes were on Irene, they weren’t focusing on her anymore. It reminded her of that blind woman she once met on the bus, who asked her what time it was, but she was looking over at the sign rather than her. Irene had always wondered how it was to not see anything at all, even when there was a lot going on around you at all times. “That’s alright; I’m just disappointed that you hadn’t introduced me to her earlier,” Seulgi added before her gaze drifted over to Wendy again. “You’re such a beautiful woman, are you sure you want to marry her?” Seulgi joked then, and even though they both were laughing and Irene tried to, something still felt off.

Irene probably didn’t really understand it. She didn’t really get anything at all, well, not until that moment Wendy grabbed her hand. It felt as if her heart skipped a beat, and that a coursing bubbly feeling she hadn’t felt since she was young surged through her entire being. She remembered then, that she would still feel bubbly, secure mood when she was close to Wendy. But that throat-grabbing, intoxicating and almost pleasurably painful sensation that showed the remains of what-could-have-been was something so strong, so powerful, that she rarely got it. Although she was deeply in love with Wendy, it wasn’t like that.

Irene remembered then, that she could only experience something like that when she was around Seulgi.