That day began like any other normal ones before that. Uneventful and plain. Routined and familiar. 

I wish it had ended that way. 

Later, I figured that bad days already  started like that; peacefully. The sun shined like it always did, and the cold November morning showed no sign of a foul mood.

However, I had no one to blame but myself, until many winters after that, for not seeing it coming. 

It was a Saturday. Two weeks before CSAT. Worst day of my life.

Things were normal and on schedule. Everything was going as I planned. Studying was getting stressful but it was on track. Sleep were scarce but that was how it should be. Meal was good and I had never expected less from my mom.

I woke up at 9 after staying up until 4 in the morning. After breakfast, I continued revising on the Chemistry I left off yesterday. Mom asked if I was going anywhere but I told her I would most likely just stayed at home.

Truth was, I wanted to see Hana so bad but I was unable to contact her since yesterday as she didn't pick up her phone. My texts weren't replied, not even read. 

She didn't come to school on Thursday which got me worried but when I called her during lunch, she said she wasn't feeling well and that she might not come to school the next day as well. When I said I'm dropping over later to check on her, she adamantly convinced me that she was fine and it was really unnecessary. I thought of dropping by anyway but she insisted that all she wanted was rest and to not be disturbed. 

So basically, the last time I had seen her was Wednesday, at school. I was thinking of going to her house on Friday when she didn't answer my calls but she had told me before that Hanbin would take care of her. 

So I had hold on to that. 

That she was okay. That she was taken care of. That nothing was wrong.

Thinking back, I wonder how it would've turned out if only I had followed my gut and checked on her that Thursday night. What if I had dropped by on Friday to see if she was okay. What if I hadn't wait until Saturday evening to call Hanbin and asked.

“I thought she was staying over at your house this weekend ?” 

My breath was knocked out of my lungs when I heard the panic in Hanbin’s voice. He was no less surprised than I was. Both of us realised later that something was clearly wrong, and that was how we decided to check on her together .

I didn't even remember driving to her house. My mind was jumbled up with millions of thoughts that were obviously not helping. I had felt it in my gut, that whatever I was going to find at Hana's house wasn't going to be pretty.

Hanbin reached the house a few minutes after I did, since he lived a bit further from the neighbourhood. His troubled face only made me more worried. At that moment, I did not want to face whatever I might have to once I stepped in through that door.

The air was chilly as winter was nearing, making me pulled my coat closer to my body as I got out of the car. My breath came out in puff of white smoke as I exhaled. The sun just finished her shift, already accustoming its schedule in preparation for the long winter night that would visit soon. 

There wasn't any car in front of her house, so both of us assumed that she must've been home alone. Hanbin ranged the bell a few times but no one opened the door. I tried calling Hana, but it went to voicemail like it had been since yesterday. 

Restless and worried, we decided that we should climb the gate. After successfully entering her front yard, Hanbin gave the door a few knocks but it still remained close. He tried to turn the knob and surprisingly, it was not locked.

The house was quiet. Looking back at it now, I was sure even the air was still, as if soldiering up for the next disaster. And it was too cold for a place that was supposed to be a home. The temperature was as low as the night air.

The living room was dark, with only the faintest light from outside creeping through the curtains. All too dark for both of us to see anything. All too dark that we didn't think there was anyone in the living room. 

More accustomed to the house than Hanbin, I went to the side of the wall near the door and switched on the downlight in the room, blinding us both. When we adjusted to the brightness, we were both rendered speechless by the sight before us. My advancing steps halted. My movements stopped midway. My breath caught in my throat.

Sprawled on the two-seater was Hana's dad, in his white shirt and slacks. There were soju bottles lined on the table, shattered on the floor, everywhere. He was obviously drunk out of his mind.

But that wasn't what made my hands trembled. That wasn't what made my stomach lurched. 

It was the figure lying on the floor besides the coffee table. Her face was white, her lips harsh grey. Her skin was purple and black and blue and too pale and there's red and glass all over. There's glasses in her hair, there's red on her arms. 

I couldn't find it in me to move, but I still forced myself to slowly stride to her motionless figure. Kneeling by her side, I had a clearer view of her beaten body. I wanted to remove the shards of glass off her hair, wipe the blood off her legs but my hands was trembling too much.

I was so scared that I might hurt her. Slowly, I pulled my fingers out to lightly caress her pale cheeks, and I almost retracted it back as her skin was so cold. Too cold. I brushed her hair back from her face, only to be greeted by a darkening bruise on her temple.

I might've called her name a few times. I couldn't be sure. The whole thing was a blur even now. All I knew was that when I was almost finish getting the chunks of glass off her hair, he