Jackson had walked into the medical centre with a headache. He was walking out with a list of vitamins he should be taking, a whole host of dietary restrictions and an appointment for an ultrasound. And he still had a headache.

In a daze he made his way back to the car where his manager was waiting. He was going to ask how his appointment had gone. How was he going to answer that? He couldn’t tell him the truth. He’d have a heart attack. And anyway, possible risk of a heart attack aside, their manager wasn’t the first person he should be telling. The first person he should be telling was the baby’s father.

As the thought crossed his mind Jackson’s face paled. Baby’s father… baby… he was carrying a baby.

He wasn’t even in a relationship. Relationships were hard work at the best of times, never mind when you were in an idol group, progressing from friends who sometimes messed around to an actual couple had never seemed worth the effort or the stress. And now he was pregnant. His parents were going to kill him.

He slowed to a stop, his breath catching in his throat. He’d told his parents they didn’t have to worry. He’d promised them he’d be sensible, promised he’d make them proud.  Well there went that promise. He was twenty-three years old, single and pregnant. Give it a few days and he was sure he was going to be jobless too. When the company found out there was no way they wouldn’t lose it. They’d invested so much time and effort and money in him and he’d let them down completely. He was sure he’d be back on a plane to Hong Kong before the week was out. And when he was home, what then? Even if his parents did welcome him home he couldn’t stay there. They didn’t need or deserve to deal with the stress of having a newborn in the house. But if he didn’t stay with his parents, where was he going to go? He had some savings but they wouldn’t last forever. Even if he found somewhere to stay he’d need to find a job eventually. But who was going to give disgraced Kpop idol with a baby to look after a job?

A few hours ago he’d been sitting in a meeting, discussing plans for a new reality show that was going to focus on preparations for their next come back. He’d been excited for the future, proud to be part of Got7. They’d come so far since their debut, they’d worked so hard. And that hard work was starting to pay off. Got7 were a household name now. Their fan base had grow so much. They had another international tour lined up for the end of the year. Things were going so well. And now he was about to ruin all that. For everyone.

This morning it had felt like anything was possible and now it felt like the world was closing in on him. Everything was falling apart.

He felt like he couldn’t breathe.

But no. He was being ridiculous. He could breathe. He was fine. He was in a far from ideal situation, but overall, he was fine. He needed to pull himself together, get in the car and go home.

And then he needed to talk to Mark.

……..  ……..

It had been two days now since he’d found out he was pregnant, and Jackson had yet to get Mark on his own. It wasn’t through lack of trying. It was just every time he asked Mark if he had a minute he… well… didn’t. He needed to sleep or shower or talk to Youngjae about something. It was frustrating.

He’d tried again just twenty minutes ago. “Can I talk to you about something?” He’d asked, and Mark had nodded.

But then Jaebum had shouted Mark’s name, waving him over and Mark had said, “Later?”

It had been more of a question than a statement, if Jackson had said no, then Mark would probably have told Jaebum to wait. But he hadn’t, he’d nodded and watched Mark go.

And now they were sitting in another planning meeting, talking about their upcoming reality show, ideas going backwards and forwards, but all Jackson could think about was how ill he felt. He had another headache, the dull pounding, irritating kind. He felt sick too. If it had been a few days ago he’d have thought it was the beginnings of another migraine. But now he knew what was behind it. It was hormones the doctor had told him. The changes his body was going through in order to support the baby growing inside him were being fuelled by a rush of hormones and the headaches and nausea were side effects. Really annoying side effects, he thought, slumping in his chair. The rest of the group were chattering excitedly about the possibility of filming an episode at an amusement park. The rising volume level wasn’t helping his headache. And all the talk of the future wasn’t helping the nausea, the vague feeling of dread he could feel building making his stomach churn all the more.

He shut his eyes and focussed on his breathing, begging his stomach to settle.

“Jackson.” Someone said.

And Jackson’s eyes shot open, his face flushing in embarrassment at being caught sitting with his eyes closed.

It had been Jaebum who’d called his name and he was looking at him with eyebrows raised. “Any thoughts?” He asked.

“No.” Jackson said quietly. If this had been a few days ago he’d have had about a dozen ideas of his own to add. As it was though there was no way he’d be visiting an amusement park any time soon. Even if he wasn’t kicked out of Got7 for good, even if by some miracle he was still allowed to be part of the group and got to tag along it wasn’t like he’d be able to participate. It would be pointless.

At least half of the other ideas that had been bandied around were not an option for him in the near future either. Water sports, go cart racing, bungee jumping… he wouldn’t be a